Chapter 5
FIVE
By the time we reach the dining room, Bastian is fuming.
I can sense it in the way he's walking and the set of his jaw.
I've seen this many times before, though in the past, it's not really been aimed at me but at some unseen enemy responsible for our lot in life.
Maybe becoming a vampire hasn't changed Bastian as much as I think, maybe I'm just seeing some of his more negative qualities more clearly.
I ignore him and pull out my chair. Pip has already figured out where we are and is sitting nicely waiting for her food to appear. She's certainly gotten used to having more than the scraps available to her.
Bastian storms over to his own seat, glaring at me.
I do my best to ignore him, putting things on my plate and accepting the gold goblet full of blood from one of the servants with a graceful smile. I don't understand what he's so angry about. I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Bella looks on from her seat opposite, an intrigued expression on her face, as if she can tell that there's some tension between us. Then again, it isn't as if Bastian is doing anything to hide it. His mood is being broadcast to everyone in the room.
I pick up my goblet and drink the blood, letting the sweet taste quench the thirst within me. I set it down and eat more of my breakfast, doing my best to ignore my brother's glowering.
"Who were you talking to in the entrance hall?" Bastian demands, finally breaking the silence.
"No one," I respond.
"You don't talk to no one like that," he says.
I roll my eyes. "It doesn't matter, Bash."
"You better not have taken liberties," Bastian half-growls.
"He's just a friend. I am allowed to have friends, aren't I?"
"If I find out he's more than that, I'll..."
I turn to him, putting on my most defiant face. "You'll do what? You're not going to tell Lord Fallmartin, you're too scared of what he'll say in response. You can't kill me either, that would be too messy. So exactly what are you going to do about it, brother?"
He balls his hands up into fists, his knuckles turning white in the process. From the set of his features, he isn't happy about my answer.
"You should relax, cousin," Bella says sweetly from her seat. "It's not like chastity is something vampires care about. Her future husband will be more surprised if she is a virgin."
My cheeks heat from her insinuation, but I don't say anything. Who am I to argue if she's decided to defend me.
"And what about fidelity?" Bastian snaps.
"I'm not betrothed yet," I point out.
Bella shrugs as if I haven't spoken up. "Fidelity isn't a requirement. It doesn't matter who Beatrice sleeps with so long as she isn't caught. And no, a conversation in the entrance hall doesn't count as being caught."
Bastian scowls at her. "Whose side are you on?"
Bella meets his gaze, not seeming the slightest bit fazed by my brother. "House Rothorne's."
He lets out a frustrated grunt and scrapes back his chair, the sound making me flinch. He drops his fork to the table and stalks out of the room, a murderous look on his face.
My stomach cramps as I think that, putting an end to breakfast for me. Once upon a time, I'd have believed it would pass, but now I've seen him kill, I'm not so sure.
I put down my cutlery and take a deep breath. "Thank you for standing up for me," I say to Bella, realising that I should acknowledge that she did that.
"I wasn't," she responds. "He's got it into his head that he's the heir to our House, so he knows everything, I'm just enlightening him about how things really work around here."
"Well, whatever the reason, I appreciate it."
She shrugs and puts down her drink. "Just be more careful next time. If they catch you with the wrong person, they'll kill you."
"You almost sound like you care if I live or die."
Bella gave a sharp laugh. "I don't care about you, but I'd rather not go through all of this again in five years, so keep yourself alive for my sake."
"I'll do my best."
"Though I'll admit I'm curious. Who were you talking to that got him so riled up?"
"Just a friend," I say.
"Cryptic," Bella responds. "Just be careful."
"Careful how?" I ask.
She gives me a sad smile. "Don't fall in love, Beatrice. And I'm not saying that because I don't want you to be happy, I couldn't care less either way about that. But being in love can be dangerous."
"I'm not trying to get my heart broken."
For a moment, I think she's going to laugh, but her eyes are full of sadness. "It's not your friend you need to worry about breaking your heart," she counters. "If you're lucky, he won't do that."
"Then what do you mean?"
"Court is ruthless," she reminds me. "If you fall in love, you'll be lucky if your only heartbreak is the two of you being married off to other people. If you're unlucky, you'll find yourself married to each other."
"I'd have thought that would be a good thing." I try not to let my mind stray to Linc too much while she's talking. We're just friends, there's no risk of us falling in love.
Except that I can't get past how good it felt to have my hand in his.
"Trust me, Beatrice, don't love your husband. Whoever he is, it's best to be indifferent to him." Bella's voice cracks as she says it.
"What happened to your first husband?" I ask quietly.
I don't think I've ever seen Bella look as broken as she does now.
"I'd rather not talk about it," she says.
"Just, learn from me. Please. If this friend of yours is more of a friend, then make sure it's not someone who can be used against you.
Keep what you have to yourselves and treasure it for what it is. But don't let yourself feel things."
"So I'm just supposed to switch off my emotions?"
"I thought you said he was just a friend?"
"He is just a friend," I say firmly, but from her face, she doesn't believe me.
Bella gets to her feet and gives me a sad smile. "I'd stop lying to yourself, if I were you. No one uses the phrase he's just a friend so much about someone who is actually just a friend."
I open my mouth to respond, but can't think of anything to say.
"Be careful, Beatrice. Bastian is going to be the least of your problems if anyone finds out about this."
"You mean Lord Fallmartin?"
"Hardly. If he can use it to his advantage, he will.
If he can't, then he won't care so long as you're not causing a scandal.
Uncle Gerard is ruthless but not wasteful.
It's everyone else you should be more careful of.
Including your future husband. He's not going to want any whispers going around, especially if you get pregnant. "
"Got it," I murmur, trying not to think too hard about that. I don't particularly want to marry someone I don't know, nor do I want to have a baby with them, though I know at least one of those is going to be in my future.
Bella doesn't wait for me to say anything else and leaves the room.
I lean back in my seat and let out a sigh.
Pip pushes her head under my hand, either to demand scratches or to offer me comfort. Now she's had her food, I know she isn't begging.
I look at her and manage a sad smile. "You have it easy here."
Her tail thumps against the floor, and her tongue hangs out happily.
Despite all of the strange feelings and emotions swirling within me after everything Bella said, I feel a surge of affection towards my dog. Having Pip with me makes everything better. It's unfortunate that I can't take her to etiquette lessons with me.