Chapter 9
NINE
The moment I get to the top of the stairs, I realise I'm not feeling as nervous as I could be in this situation. I don't know how things are going to go with Linc after our kiss, but I'm certain that it's going to work out the way it should.
Until I end up betrothed to a stranger, but I'm trying not to get too caught up in that.
The table we normally sit at is empty, and disappointment floods through me at the possibility of Linc deciding he doesn't want to spend time with me any more.
Except that I told him I wanted to meet in his private room from now on, so maybe he's already there. I take a deep breath and make my way there.
His bodyguard sees my approach and tips his head in my direction, giving me hope that I've been approved to go in. Even so, I knock a couple of times.
"Come in," Linc calls.
I push the door open and step inside. A fire is roaring in the grate and there are refreshments waiting on the table, along with several books.
"Hi," I say nervously.
His face lights up. "Hi," he responds, getting to his feet. His waistcoat is crinkled from the way he's been lounging, but it makes him seem much more at ease than he was in the beginning. "I have another book for you."
"Oh?"
He gestures to the table, and I drift over to it without meaning to.
"It's this one," Linc says, leaning over and putting his hand on the book in front of me, bringing him impossibly close.
I'm suddenly aware of nothing other than the heat radiating from him, and my heart racing in my chest.
His breath fans against my skin he's so close, but instead of pulling away, I find myself wanting to get closer.
I turn my head, meeting his gaze and seeing him looking at me with an intensity that can only be matched by how I'm feeling.
Without thinking, I wet my lips and his gaze lowers to them, something akin to hunger entering his expression.
He finally moves his hand from the book, but it hovers over where mine is hanging by my side.
I'm so caught up in the moment that I'm barely aware of twisting around so I'm facing him, or him stepping closer. It's only when his lips are on mine that I realise what all of this has been leading to.
There's nothing hesitant about our kiss, and it's different from the one last night. Hungrier. Full of something more than just emotion. Everything inside me is on fire as I deepen it, pushing myself against him.
Linc tangles one hand in my hair, pulling some of the pins loose, while his other arm snakes around my waist and pulls me even closer. I wrap my arms around his neck and fully give myself over to all of the feelings racing around within me.
We break apart, both of us breathing heavily and it's like I have two heartbeats instead of one. Until I realise that's not true. I can just hear his blood racing.
I touch my lips, the tingle from his kiss still there and the taste lingering on my tongue. I don't even know what to do with the whole situation right now, I just know that something big just happened between us and neither of us are going to be able to ignore it for long.
We stare at one another, neither seeming quite sure what to say to one another. This kind of situation is new to me, especially when at court.
"I thought about that all night," I whisper.
His eyes bore into me. "About kissing me?"
I bite my lip and nod.
"I was supposed to talk to you about last night, rather than just kissing you," he admits.
"Kissing me works just as well."
"Only because you want to kiss me again." He frowns. "I'm assuming that's what you want."
In answer, I lean in and brush my lips against his, not lingering for too long, but only because we're in the middle of a conversation. In any other situation, I might have pushed further.
His breath catches in his throat. "I thought I might have scared you off with all my serious talk last night."
"No." I reach in to touch his cheek. "How are you feeling today?"
"I had a headache this morning. From what I've read it's normal after..." he trails off. "I don't know if I can say it out loud."
"That's all right, you don't have to."
He pulls away, but only goes to make some drinks. "I had some blood and I felt better."
"So blood is regenerative to us?" I ask.
He nods. "Only to an extent. If you're stabbed in the chest, there's not much it can do for you, but if you've got a small cut or a headache, it'll do the trick."
"That's good to know."
"Mmm, it's going to make this a bit easier," he admits. "But it was still tempting to ask the servants to bring me some wine earlier."
"Is there anything you can do to stop it?" I ask. "Maybe something with your hands?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know...tying some knots or something."
"I've never tried that."
I tug on one of the bows on my dress, pulling the ribbon undone and holding it out to him. "Try it."
"With your ribbon?"
I shrug. "Why not? That way you can also know that I believe in you."
"I'm so glad I met you," he says as he takes it from me, his fingers brushing against mine and making me think about the kiss all over again.
"Likewise," I respond, my voice cracking. I clear my throat. "So, the book?" I ask, putting my hand on it.
Linc puts two cups of tea down on the table. He's optimistic about putting them there considering our tea was completely cold by the time we tried to drink it yesterday.
"I thought it might help with your reading," he says. "It's a novel. A romance, actually."
I raise an eyebrow. "Were you trying to tell me something?"
He clears his throat. "Erm, I wasn't, actually. I just thought you'd like it. I wrote to my sister and asked if there was anything she recommended and she sent me this."
"You told your sister about me?"
"Is that weird?"
"I don't know, I've never met your sister," I point out. "Do you normally share this kind of thing with each other?"
"I mean, not in detail," he murmurs. "But we're close. We write all the time. Father wishes we didn't, naturally. But he'll get over it."
"Because your sister ran away with her bodyguard?"
"Mmm. He was on the verge of securing a betrothal for her when it happened." He picks up his tea and takes a drink.
"Which is why you helped her escape," I say.
He almost chokes on his tea. "I never said that."
"I read between the lines," I respond. "I think it's a good thing you did. I can't say I'm thrilled about the fact my father wants me to get betrothed." I pick up my tea and go to make myself comfortable on the pile of cushions.
"I should watch out for you, you're going to be running circles around everyone by the end of the year."
"Depends on the husband my father saddles me with," I point out. "If I'm to listen to my cousins, I should hope for someone who is nice enough, but who I don't care for."
"Seems like a bleak outlook on life." He sets his teacup down on the table on the other side from me and sits down. "If you had a choice, what would you look for in a husband?"
"For one, I would be looking for a much longer courtship. I don't want to be betrothed to someone I've never met, or married to someone I've only known for a month. That doesn't seem like a good enough basis for a marriage, even one that's only for political gain."
"A sensible approach."
"Alas, one I'm not allowed to take. I'm to do as my father bids.
" I take a sip of my tea and try to ignore the bitter feeling inside, made even worse by knowing how good it feels to be kissed by Linc, someone I actually like.
I suppose it wouldn't be too bad if he's the one I end up married to, but considering he's said he's a second son, I doubt Lord Fallmartin would even consider him.
"As am I," Linc responds. "My father is talking about my own betrothal at the moment.
He's been mentioning it on and off for years, but since Agnes left, it's become a more frequent topic of conversation.
I think he's been waiting for the Golden Moon to see which of the lords have eligible daughters. "
"I'm sorry."
He gives me a weak smile. "Same."
"My brother's betrothal was announced over lunch too, he didn't have a clue it was going to happen. At least our situations are slightly better than that."
Linc laughs. "Oh yes, it won't be a complete surprise when it happens."
"Are we fools?" I ask, looking down into my almost empty teacup.
"Why would we be fools?"
I look up, meeting his gaze. "We kissed, Linc. Twice. And I'm not going to pretend it meant nothing. But if we're going to be betrothed to different people before too long, then aren't we being foolish?"
He reaches out and takes the cup from me, putting it down so he can take my hands in his. "Maybe."
I let out a surprised laugh. "That's not what I expected you to say."
He shrugs. "Maybe we'll end up hurt, maybe we won't. But with the way vampire politics goes, there's always a chance for us to be something in the future."
"Or run away like your sister," I murmur.
"She knew her husband long before we all came here," Linc says. "I knew him too. He's a good man."
"Ah." I'm not really disappointed, I never thought the two of us would or should run away together. We've barely known one another for three weeks, and even if the way he kisses me makes my whole body spring into life, it's not enough.
"But I would say there's no reason we can't enjoy each other's company while we can, even if it's only for a limited time."
I bite my bottom lip and nod. I have a feeling we're going to end up in a complicated situation we could have avoided, but I can't bring myself to say that I think this is a bad idea. If anything, it only makes me want to kiss him again.
"Just until we're betrothed," I say. "Nothing can happen after that."
He nods. "Agreed."
"All right, then let's be fools."
He laughs and leans in, cupping my cheek in his hand and kissing me deeply. I melt into him, letting go of all my apprehensions and enjoying his touch for what it is.