Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Pip bounces along, seeming to know that we're going outside, even though she has no way of possibly being able to tell. Maybe it's something about the way I told her to come with me. I don't suppose it matters, that's where we're going.
She gets more excited the moment she sees Linc, which is impressive when she's only met him once before. He crouches down and fusses her as soon as she gets to him, making me smile.
He gets up and reaches out for my free hand, entwining our fingers together.
The cool night air brushes past me as we step outside. Clouds have drifted over the moon since we were out here for Eliza's ceremony, but it's still a nice night, and perfect to take a walk.
"Do you think people will mind that we're missing the Feast?" I ask as Pip takes a chance to race around, her tail wagging so fast that it's a blur.
"Unlikely. The people who are invested in it won't notice anything other than blood and death. Those who stay and hate it will be too busy trying to keep their composure, and the rest of the court will have already made a swift exit."
"My cousin told me that's what she and her husband planned on doing."
"See, your distaste isn't as uncommon as you think it is," he says.
"How many people do you think skip the Feasts?" I wonder out loud.
"Hard to say. I barely go to formal events."
"You came to this one."
"Mmm, my father insisted," he says. "But I also thought I might get to see you, and consider where we are now, I don't mind."
"Even if it made the urge to drink worse?"
"It didn't," he says softly. "I'd have felt the same urge if I'd been alone. It's only now I'm trying to resist that I realise how dependent I've become."
"That sounds difficult."
"It is. I'm not the person I thought I was."
"What? No." I turn around, causing Pip to give a short bark when I accidentally tug on her lead. "You've been struggling with your vampirism almost alone for five years, and you happened to fall onto wine for help, that doesn't change who you are."
"I didn't think I'd be the kind of person to end up so reliant on something like that."
"I know. But it's all right. You're trying to stop that reliance now, and that's what matters."
He winces. "And if I fail? What happens if I end up caving and drinking?"
I reach out and cup his cheek in my hand. "Then you'll start again the next day."
"I'm going to be fighting this for the rest of my life."
I swallow hard. "Yes, probably. But I'm here to help, in whatever capacity you need me. Even when we have to end things because of our betrothals, I'll be your friend."
He doesn't look so sure, but then he nods.
"You don't have to do it alone," I promise. "And I'm determined to survive at court."
He chuckles. "I've noticed," he responds. "You've picked up a lot remarkably quickly."
"I'm lucky," I respond, slipping my hand into his so we can keep walking.
"I've had an excellent tutor when it comes to the basics of court life, and one of my cousins is forthcoming in explaining things.
I wasn't sure she was going to be at first, but she seems to have warmed to me.
Or maybe she just hates my brother enough that it makes us reluctant allies. "
"Is your brother really that bad?"
I sigh. "He's changed. Or maybe I've changed and I'm just seeing him clearly."
Pip barks and I watch her run after something she sees in the dark.
"He didn't want me to bring Pip with me on the night of the Golden Moon." My voice cracks as I admit it. I've not told anyone, I've barely been able to think of it myself because it's a hint that Bastian's personality has always been this way.
"I'm sorry," Linc says.
I give him a weak smile. "Not your fault."
"How did you change his mind?"
"I think he was worried about me refusing to come up to the castle.
For all his faults, he just wanted to keep me alive.
So he said yes to Pip coming." I take a deep breath.
"I'm glad he did. Having her here has made the transition a little bit easier, especially when I can tell she's having a good time. "
"I can understand that."
"You make it easier too," I say. "Having a...I don't know what to call you."
"Usually, you call me Linc," he points out.
"Well, yes. But you're not my friend, you're more than my friend. But I don't really have a word for what you are."
"Mmm, I'll have to think about that one," he admits. "I've never really thought about it before."
"Well, knowing you has made things easier to adjust to. And my cousins, they've all been helpful." I let out a sigh. "The only thing that's not so good is the fact my father wants me to be betrothed by the end of the month."
"That's in a few days."
"I know." I take a deep breath. "I wish I knew how to get out of it."
"I can't help you there," Linc responds. "If I knew how to get out of it, I'd have managed to help Agnes without her having to resort to running away."
"Do you ever get to see her?" I ask.
Pip runs back to us with a large stick in her mouth and drops it on the ground.
"We should sit over there," Linc says, gesturing to a low stone wall.
"These are everywhere around here." I straighten out my skirt, hoping the stone won't ruin the fine fabric. I don't want to get the House Rothorne servants into trouble, or cause them more work than need be. I unclip Pip's lead, certain she's not about to run off, only after the stick.
Linc picks up the stick and throws it for Pip. She races after it, going so fast I can barely see her.
"I think the stones are from the castle that was here before this one," he says. "It used to be the palace of a human king, but that didn't work when vampires took it over."
"Couldn't they have found somewhere else?"
"I don't know," he says. "Maybe they wanted the mountain so that most of the palace could be inside."
"Huh, I didn't think of that."
"As for my sister, I see her sometimes, but not as often as I'd like. She lives a full night's travel from the castle, so it's a few days trip."
"Oh." My heart aches for him. He talks about her with such affection that it's hard to think he doesn't get to spend time with her the way he'd want to. "I hope I get to meet her someday."
"I'm sure you will," he responds, picking up the stick Pip has just dropped in front of him. He throws it for her again and she races away. "Our father will forgive her eventually, and then she'll return to court. You'll like her."
"I look forward to finding out."
Linc sits down beside me and puts an arm around me. I lean in, resting my head against his shoulder. My dog bounces after the stick, playing with reckless abandon, and for one of the first times since I arrived at Castle Sanulieon, I feel completely at peace.
I'm sure it won't last for long, but I plan on enjoying it for as long as I can.