CHAPTER 7
The Princess
There was something I realized while I lost the feeling in my legs, sitting on my knees in an empty shower after having a cock in my mouth one minute…and not a coherent word the next.
Queens don’t get on their fucking knees for this.
Am I being a complete asshole? Am I doing questionable things behind the back of a man I don’t deserve?
Did I deserve what he just did to me, walking out of here and making a statement after my obvious blow to his pride?
Obviously, yes…but I’m still hanging onto the fact that every bit of this shouldn’t come as a complete shock to a guy that knows me just as well as Mal does.
I’ve got too much going on behind this curtain to worry about this shit right now, and I’m making enough of a mess of it without this hanging over my head.
I finished showering and took Dec’s advice about the lasagna.
That’ll be a retort on its own if he comes home to find it still in the oven.
I snatched the only bag of Bugles left, and my new vibrator and laid back against our pillows with my legs wide open while I opened my chips like a good girl.
Think I won’t get my reward…fuck that. Think again.
I switched the rosebud on and situated it under me until my eyes crossed.
Oh, it’s good. It’s divine, actually. I hope he was stupid enough to set up cameras in here.
I hope he hears every moan through a mouthful of fucking Bugles and loud crunching while I soak the bed by myself.
Pout all you want, Declan darling…nobody gets me off better than me.
The little red devil pulsed and buzzed and God help me; I tried my best not to think of everything I just missed in that shower.
I tried to convince myself that I feel nothing and just let the orgasm take me away.
My clit has other plans on this fine Valentine’s Day.
Lady petunia decided to go just as numb as my knees, and if I wasn’t fuming when I sat like a lost dog in the rain earlier…
I sure as shit am now. I grabbed the toy and chucked it across the room, not giving a single fuck about where it landed or what it broke.
It rattled against the top of my dresser until the bitch finally rolled off and conked out when it hit the floor.
“Asshole…goddamn Valentine’s Day. Stupid Lydia.
Gorgeous fucking shoes.” I kept grumbling well after I was under the covers and hiking my leg around my body pillow, beating it with my fist like a ritual until it started to look comfortable…
but I didn’t realize I needed to hit something as bad as I did either. “Stupid—BUTTONS!”
Punch.
“ASSCLOWNPIECEOFSHITSTALKER!”
Punch.
“Jonas—FUCKING O’DELL!”
Punchpunchpunch…
Bugles flew everywhere and my damp hair was scattered across my vision, blowing in and out of my face with my exasperated tantrum as I collapsed into my pillow.
I’m so tired. Of everything. Did life seem better when the chaos was more simple at the Byrne house?
Or am I just still in my feels about Daddy?
I let my deep sigh relax me into the pillow and felt my body completely give. Just…fuck it right now.
“What is that smell?”
I leaned over the table towards Sev, sniffing and scrunching my nose. Her mouth curled in shades of dark lipstick and a new piercing Malek talked her into getting last month. It’s actually hot as fuck on her. I should consider getting a tattoo or something.
“It’s embalming fluid,” she snickered, snatching the lemon out of her sweet tea and cleaning her hands with it. “Sorry. I didn’t realize it was that strong, I think I’m just used to it after all these years. Thanks for bailing me out today. We haven’t done this in a while.”
“Your brother taking care of the stiff?”
“Greg? Hell no. He’s not licensed for one, and two, bodies give him the ick…
especially downstairs. He’s fine if they’re dressed and set up in a suite.
Aside from that, he only comes down there to bother the shit outta me.
You know…kinda like your idiot brother.” The lemon slapped on the surface of the nice table and she looked around. “Where’d our waitress go?”
“Seriously. You’d think a snazzy place like this would have better service. Dec’s been trying to take me here for weeks. Don’t tell him we came, he’ll shit a brick.” Her subtle smile and lack of eye contact says enough…she knows that’s why I dragged her out to play hookie today.
I woke up this morning alone and in a bed littered with broken Bugles and rage.
I didn’t even know Declan had come home until I’d gotten up and dressed, ready to pester the shit out of Seven until she agreed to come out with me today.
He was stretched across the couch on his stomach, tattooed back exposed and hair a sexy mess over his arms while they’d been wrapped around our throw pillow all night…
instead of around me. I really don’t know why I’m pissed about it.
I was the one that bumped him down a few notches on my list of priorities.
It’s just uncharted territory and more proof that he’s starting to get fed up with my shit.
Sev sipped from her glass, keeping her eyes on the splattered lemon still on the table. “I knew you’d crack at some point. You coulda just said you wanted me to kick Malek out of the house for a bit.”
“He would’ve known it was about this. I’m putting Mal in a weird place.
There’s not a single thing he’s ever cared nor asked about when it came to my relationships, however short they were.
” I rolled my eyes. “All he ever needed to ask was where they were and in what way I wanted him to butcher ‘em.”
“Bridge, I know this whole thing has been weird to get used to…but he’s changed a lot.
We all have. He cares just as much about you now as he did when we were in that basement, taking up space in a house of horrors.
I get it if you don’t feel right confiding in him, but you can.
If you don’t want to, nobody’s forcing you. That’s why you’ve got me.”
“I know…”
I fidgeted, twisting and tearing the corner of my napkin until she did her Seven Grey thing, and made it easier for me to dump all my shit on the table—literally.
“You wanna be pampered but not treated like a baby.”
“Yes!” I yelped, slapping my palms against my thighs. “He drives me crazy in every possible way, Sev. He’s like a hot, tattooed nanny that fucks hard, but also tends to let the four-year-old inside of him come out to occasionally play video games and tinker with morse code.”
Seven’s head craned back. “Morse code?”
“Yeah, you know…the stuff he does on the computer.”
“…You mean…you mean HTML code?”
I’m starting to get a faint headache from eye rolling.
“Same difference.” I let her laugh off my obvious mistake while I took my time complaining about every little thing that’s happened between us in the last several weeks, conveniently leaving out the parts about what I’m doing on the side.
“So then when I woke up this morning, I found him sprawled out over the couch, looking like an offering to the sex gods…and where in the fuck is our waitress?!”
“So, do you think Dec is cheating on you?”
“What? No. No, he usually goes out and eats an ass-ton of quinoa and sulks like a chained bitch until he gets over it. Then we fuck like rabbits and it’s good until I do the next pain in the ass thing.”
“So, what’s different this time?”
This time I’m hiding something worse than if I’d let some dude motorboat my ass cheeks.
I scratched my forehead and shrugged. “I’m just—last night I fucked up.
I get that. As relationships go, missing Valentine’s Day is like…
a big deal. Usually for the dude. Not for the woman.
When he left me in that shower, I don’t think I could have felt worse in my life.
I even tried to vibe one out…and couldn’t.
Like, actually buzzed my pussy sober, Sev.
” She doubled over in giggles and I cocked my head, whining.
“It’s not funnyyyy. Come on, what the hell is that? ”
“That?” she snorted. “That sounds like love, babes. Good old-fashioned, his and her towels, vomit-inducing L-O-V-E.”
“Gross…” I crossed my arms.
“Yeah, I know right? Not enough disinfectant in the world for it. And unfortunately, there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it either.
I tried hiding from my feels for almost three months after everything that happened with the O’Dell’s, but even if Malek hadn’t thrown a stick of Irish dynamite back into my life, I still would have tried to convince myself I didn’t love the bastard. ”
I thought back to those few months with Mal.
He definitely wasn’t himself, either. It had taken everything I had in me not to reach out and tell Sev that he was miserable without her and beg her to give him another shot.
It worked out so well for them, but my situation is so fucking different… I just…
“Do you ever miss it, Seven?” She leaned back and lowered her brows. “Being the ‘Cleaning Lady’? Were you not scared of what everything was gonna be like if you ever rearranged every aspect of your life?”
“Not really. Bridget…I considered myself pretty happy with my life when it was just me and this hulking skeleton in my closet that nobody knew about. It was safer that way. I loved myself. I still love myself, but…it’s been exponentially better, letting someone else love me the right way.
To let them love the same things about you that you love.
Those are the parts that aren’t supposed to make sense to anybody except the person that’s meant for you.
It doesn’t just make your life better. It makes theirs better too. ”
“So…you don’t think you were happier when things were more simple?”