Chapter 16 #2
He suddenly lets me go, and I land on my hands as I gasp for air. Then he’s shoving my body down onto the bed and plunging back into me. He leans over me and wraps his fingers around my throat again, this time with two hands, while pounding into me.
Now this, I don’t like. Not one bit. I don’t care if he’s into this. It’s starting to hurt, and my vision is turning black. It’s too vulnerable. I’ve lost my erection, too.
“S-sto…” I try to say, but not much sound comes out because he’s squeezing harder.
Panic starts to set in as my eyes roll into my head. If I move my hands off the bed, I’ll fall face-first, then I most certainly won’t be breathing. I attempt to remove his hand with one of mine, my fingers digging into his skin, but he won’t let go. They’re glued. Strong hands. Tight hands.
Let go. Let go.
I’m gasping for breath, but my lungs are burning, and I’m desperately trying not to lose consciousness. I continue to claw at his hands while bucking, but he won’t let go.
“S-st…”
All I can think about is my children I’m leaving behind before I fall into blackness.
“Baby?”
The voice is echoing in my head. A hazy dream.
“Come on, wake up.”
A sudden slap on my face has my eyes popping open. I try to focus, and my brain tries to reboot itself back online. That’s when I feel the pain in my throat and remember that Leo tried to choke me to death as he slid in and out of me. I reach for my throat and wince.
“Thank god you’re okay.”
“L-Leo?”
“Yeah, I’m here, baby.”
“Y-you hurt me.”
God, is that my voice? It sounds like it’s been put through the meat grinder, and it hurts to swallow.
“I’m so sorry. I… got carried away. My last boyfriend liked it and…”
Now that I grasp that I’m alive, a rage fills me to my very soul. I need him gone. Now. I need him out of my damn face and out of my damn house. I should’ve listened to those warning bells, and instead, I gave him a second chance.
I’m fucking done being a doormat. Being a people-pleaser. Never again!
“Get out,” I snap.
“W-what?”
“Get out. I never fucking want to see you again.” I hate using expletives, but this moment calls for it.
“Please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“You couldn’t tell I was choking to death?!”
I wince again from yelling, and I sit up, hit with a sudden migraine from the lack of blood to my head.
“Please, baby…”
He tries to hold me, but I shove him off. “Get out or I’m calling the police.”
His eyes grow wide, and he raises his hands in defense. “Seth?”
“Y-you assaulted me.”
“What? No! No, it’s only a kink thing. I swear.”
“You didn’t fucking ask me for my permission! Get. The. Fuck. Out!”
Leo stands there, still naked, looking as if I kicked him in the nuts. Fuck him. Fuck him to hell. And… fuck his nuts!
“If you don’t leave right now, I can’t guarantee I can control myself.”
He rushes to gather his clothes off the floor and gets dressed, but before he leaves, he stops at my door to look at me. I refuse to acknowledge him. I’m breaking, piece by painful piece. I need to let it out, but not in front of him.
“Seth…”
I turn away. There’s nothing left to be said.
As soon as I hear my front door shut, a sob escapes me.
I touch my tender throat and swallow. It’s no doubt bruised.
I’m sure he wasn’t lying about the kink thing.
I doubt he was trying to kill me, but it sure felt that way.
Terrifying as heck. Regardless, we didn’t communicate this.
We didn’t talk about it. He didn’t ask me for my permission, and I was so scared.
I raise my knees and rest my head on them as the tears spill. All that disappointment, fear, wondering if I’m going to live. Who’s going to take care of my kids? My parents, of course, but my children don’t need to lose another parent. God. I’m sure I nearly died.
I stand on shaking legs and stumble into the bathroom to clean up. Then I get dressed, shove my wallet into my jeans, grab my keys, and head out to the emergency room. I need to make sure Leo didn’t do any permanent damage.
There’s only one person on my list that I hate, and that’s my ex. Now Leo has risen to the top. I’ll never forgive him for this. Edmundo and I are going to have words, too.
And as I sit in the waiting room at the emergency room, I shoot a text to Calvin to tell him I miss him and can’t wait to see him. But I never hit send. In fact, I deleted it.
“Mr. Griffin? You can come on back now.”
It’s after three in the morning, and I’m back home. I try to sleep, but I can’t. My thoughts won’t stop racing, and my heart won’t calm down. I don’t care what that nurse said. My heart doesn’t feel normal.
There’s also a strange surge of guilt. I know I shouldn’t feel it, but I do.
The hospital was forced to call the police to report the incident.
I talked to a police officer who took my statement.
I hadn’t intended to press charges, and I still might not.
It feels like a situation gone terribly wrong rather than a malicious attack.
That’s the very reason I feel guilty. I don’t want his son taken from him.
Actions have consequences, and what he did was so wrong.
While I’m dang angry, I’m not at the point where I want to see his son’s life ruined over this.
I wonder if I’ll get my old self back after this.
What I need is to talk to Calvin. But I can’t. He’s got enough on his plate.