Chapter 21
Calvin
I’m in the kitchen, sipping on my usual chicory coffee as Braeden is eating a bowl of cereal and scrolling through his phone. A typical morning for us.
“How are you liking school so far?” I hadn’t asked before, giving him space, and he hadn’t exactly offered up the information freely.
“It’s fine.”
God, he sounds like I did when I was his age.
“Make any friends yet?”
He shakes his head as a dribble of milk spills out of the corner of his mouth. He wipes it away as he continues to play on his phone.
Cicero suddenly jumps up onto the table and tries to lap up the milk from Braeden’s bowl.
“Hey! Pst! Down, Cicero. Down!”
Braeden lifts the cat and sets him on his lap, petting him. But the cat’s now annoyed he didn’t get any milk, so he jumps down and saunters off before giving me a baleful look.
“Brat,” I say as I watch him go. “That cat’s stomach is a void.”
Braeden chuckles, but says nothing.
That’s good, right? I made him laugh, even a little.
This parenting thing has been hard, but things are starting to click into place, or so I hope.
You’d think I’d have more empathy for my mother raising me alone, but she’s done too much damage to me.
And soon, we’re going to have to talk about it all.
I need to set more boundaries and be firm about them.
I have way too much on my fucking plate to deal with her calls.
I’m finally starting to feel confident in raising Braeden, so I don’t need any help to dismantle that.
“What do you think about me inviting Seth and his kids to go with us today?”
He looks at me with those big blue eyes. They’re bluer than Seth’s. “Yeah, okay. He’s nice.”
“Cool, I’ll text him.”
I finish my coffee, lift my phone, and tap out a message to Seth.
Me: I know it’s last-minute, but I’m taking Brae to tour
the New Orleans French Quarter, get some lunch, and
maybe hit Jackson Square and grab some beignets.
Want to come? And get your mind out of the gutter.
I smile at the three dots that appear. It doesn’t take Seth long to respond.
Tiger: Do you always have sex on the brain?
Me: It’s like you don’t even know me.
I laugh as he sends me a string of eye-rolling emojis. I’m pretty sure he does them for my sake.
Tiger: Anyway! Yes, I can get the kids gathered and ready to
go.
Me: Great, I’ll swing by your place. You have the soccer mom
car, so you drive. No cookie crumbs on my gorgeous leather
upholstery.
Tiger: See you soon, Joker.
Two hours later, we’re sitting in a restaurant, eating traditional Cajun food, something Braeden’s never had before.
He orders the jambalaya, I get the andouille pasta, and Seth has the shrimp gumbo.
The other two boys get the shrimp po’ boys, while Emily devours only hushpuppies and buttered corn on the cob.
We’re sitting outside, people-watching. It’s a nice day, so it’s crowded with tourists.
“There’s just something about New Orleans,” I say to Seth.
“What do you mean?”
“There’s, like, this mysterious vibe, you know? Mystical. There’s a horribly dark history surrounding it.” I don’t elaborate for the kids’ sake. “But it’s also filled with magic, music, and delicious food. There’s no other place like it. I like it so much better than Texas.”
“I’ve never been to Texas.”
“Maybe I’ll take you one day. Austin’s pretty nice.”
“I’ve heard.”
I take a bite of sausage, lean back in my seat, and place my hand on the back of Seth’s chair.
My thumb rubs his back, anything to touch him.
After our first kiss and fun last night, I want so much more, but I need to be careful in front of the kids.
They have no idea what’s going on between us, other than Braeden.
Seth glances at me and smiles softly.
The three boys are chatting as they eat, and Emily is cramming more carbs than she needs into her mouth, so I quickly run my fingers through his hair at the back of his head before dropping my hand. It’s silkier than I expected.
“Sorry,” I say. “Can’t help myself.”
He chuckles and takes a bite of shrimp. “You’re fine. I like it.”
After lunch, we all grab some beignets at Café Du Monde.
“I’d go to war over these beignets,” I say with my mouth full. “I dare anyone to test me.”
“Dramatic much?”
“Ugh, you have no appreciation for the culinary arts.”
We’re sitting in Jackson Square as we eat our treats, except for Emily, who’s breaking up pieces of her pastry and giving it to the pigeons. Meanwhile, the boys are running around the fountain, laughing.
“Em! Just eat it. The pigeons don’t need your food,” Seth yells.
“But they hungy, daddy! Look!”
The number of birds is growing by the second, surrounding the toddler.
“That’s enough, Em,” he says more forcefully.
He stands, pulls out a package of wipes from his backpack, and walks over to his daughter. He snags the treat and tosses it to the birds before cleaning her hands of sugar. “Too many birds, Peanut. They’re going to take you up in the air and fly you away.”
Once she’s cleaned up, we gather the kids and get on a carriage ride in front of the square. I thought the kids would prefer it to walking around.
The boys sit up front, and Seth and I sit in the back with Emily, who’s on his lap.
The horse walks us through old neighborhoods and shops, lined with trees, palms, and lush gardens. It’s a bit touristy, but it’s relaxing. The clopping of hooves, the warm breeze, and sitting next to the cutest preppy guy this side of New Orleans make me love this place even more.
Then, to my surprise, Seth grabs my hand, which is resting on my lap, and threads our fingers together. I look at him, and he smiles at me.
“You sure?” I ask.
He looks at his children, then at me. “Yeah.”
I lift his hand and kiss the back of it.
Is it weird for me to start a new relationship after promising myself never again? A little. I thought I’d bring trust issues to the table, but not for a second do I distrust Seth. His aura says ‘reliable’ and ‘dependable.’ Hell, I’m not even nervous about our talk tonight.
Honestly, I should’ve been working today.
I’m behind on everything. My team is scrambling to keep up with my absence.
But I wanted to do this. If I’m going to be a guardian, Braeden has to be my priority.
I also can’t prioritize him if I don’t have a job.
How do other parents do it? Seth clearly does.
He has multiple businesses and three kids. He’s clearly a genius at multitasking.
Bourbon Street is one of the most famous areas of the French Quarter, but it’s touristy. Once you get past it, there are other beautiful sections and rows of old homes painted in bright colors, with balconies covered in potted ferns or bougainvillea.
I lean forward and look next to Seth to find the little hellcat passed out, tucked into his side.
I never thought I’d be comfortable around a bunch of kids.
Perhaps I’d been so opposed to them because of my upbringing, and I was afraid of turning into my mother.
That’s most likely. It’s not easy, but I’m not afraid anymore.
That’s a lie. I’m still terrified I’ll fuck it all up and ruin Braeden’s life forever. But I don’t hate it either.
“You okay?” Seth asks, squeezing my hand.
“Yeah, I’m pretty good.”
He smiles and rests his head on my shoulder. The intimacy stirs something in my gut and heart, and I like feeling it.
Now, to figure out how to balance life as a father figure, run a business, and manage a new relationship.
I’m afraid to let Braeden stay at my house alone while I talk to Seth.
It’s a school night. His kids are already sleeping, but Seth assured me that at his age, leaving him alone for an hour or two is fine.
He even lent me one of his monitors, which I set up to keep an eye on Braeden, so I didn’t worry.
I’m right next door and can always get home quickly if I need to.
It’s best to talk while we’re alone. Then we can watch an adult movie, as Seth calls them, something he hasn’t seen in years, apparently. Not the porn kind, but the kind that kids aren’t allowed to watch. Although porn could be fun.
Seth hands me a cold glass of white wine and snuggles in next to me on the couch with his feet tucked under him. I wrap my arm around him and take a sip of wine.
“Do you want to start?” I ask him.
“I never expected to like you as much as I do,” he begins.
“Uh, same here.”
“I think by now you know me well enough to know that I’m a relationship guy. Honestly, I thought I’d struggle with intimacy again after Malcolm, and Leo too. I’m ready for it. I want it.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming on.”
“But… you’re not a relationship guy. I mean, I get why. How is this going to play out in your mind? You and me? What do you want to see happen, Joker?”
“Hey, sit up and face me.” Seth does as I ask, tucking his foot under his thigh, and leans against the back of the sofa with his head resting on his hand.
I drag the backs of my fingers across his cheek, and he closes his eyes to the touch before opening them again.
“I may be clueless on this parenting thing, but I’m aware enough to realize that you want something serious, not only for you, but for your kids.
You want to give them consistency and have someone dependable around. ”
His eyes are hooded as he smiles wistfully.
“You get it, then. The question is, are you ready for that? Are you ready for what it takes? My kids already like you, and you’re nice to them.
That’s important.” Seth presses his hand against my heart, and I curl my fingers around it and hold it there.
“You’re amazing so far with Braeden. He’s still struggling, but he’s coming around and smiling more. That’s because of you.”
“God, I’m trying. I don’t want to fail him.”
“You won’t. I know it.”
We sip more wine, processing our words, at least that’s what I’m doing before I open up to him.
“You know, the thought of coming home to a partner scared me for a long time. My ex kind of traumatized me, I think. You’re getting baggage, Tiger.
No, you’re getting an entire luggage set, crammed full of crap. ”
He breathes out a laugh. “We all have baggage. I have my own, as you’re well aware.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve handled it better.”
Seth pulls away from my grip and squeezes my shoulder.
“You didn’t know me before. I nearly broke, Cal.
I thought for sure Malcolm would want to be a part of the kids’ lives, even if he didn’t want me anymore.
We went through hoops to adopt them. Then, poof, he’s gone.
If I hadn’t had my kids, maybe I would’ve fully broken, but I had friends to hold me up, to remind me I wasn’t alone.
It helps. Anyway, my point is your luggage set doesn’t bother me as long as it doesn’t bother you. ”
I take another sip of wine before cupping his face.
“I haven’t been tender like this in so damn long, but I like it with you.
You’re a good person, Seth, and I know I can trust you.
Having that trust helps. I think us establishing a friendship first helped, too, because we had no demands or expectations placed on us. How about you?”
“How about me, what?”
“You got hurt with Malcolm, but also by Leo.”
“And you were there to help me get through it all. That moment when you called me and were there for me… that’s when I realized it was you I wanted.
When did you realize you wanted me back?
Was it during poker night? It was the cologne, wasn’t it?
” He waggles his cute brows. “My plan to lure you worked.”
I chuckled, my hand still caressing his face, prickly under my palm since he hadn’t shaved since earlier this morning. “That’s only when I was going to get you to kiss me. I wanted you since you came out huffing and puffing at me when I was building that toy totem.”
“You’re so weird.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Seriously, then?”
“Meh, mostly to play with. I wasn’t in a ‘relationship’ mood at that point, but I’ve always found you to be cute. Preppy adorable. That should be a fashion name.”
Seth plucks my empty glass from my hand and sets them both down on the coffee table. Then he climbs onto my lap, straddling my thighs. I rest my hands on his hips while he threads his fingers through my hair. “Let’s skip the movie,” he says.
“Oh, feeling frisky, are we?”
“Aren’t you?”
“With you? Always.”