Chapter 20
K eegan poked at Tanis with one of her giant claws. “Does it hurt to be human?”
The question amused her. It wasn’t that long ago she would have asked the same thing. “No. And it’s not as bad as you’d think.”
She looked skeptical. “If it’s anything less than nightmarish awful, it’s better than I think.”
Tanis laughed. “Humans aren’t any different than we are, except they take up a lot less room.”
Keegan arched a brow over her words.
“I admit when I was a prisoner, I didn’t feel quite so benevolent toward them. But my latest experience has given me a whole new,” and much better, “perspective.”
“It was a human who murdered your brother.”
“A human couldn’t have done it. During our fight, Ragna admitted she was the one who killed Davin.” And Tanis still couldn’t believe Ragna had done such an awful thing. Dragons were supposed to be better than that. Even in the darkest ages of Indara’s history, she’d never heard of a family tearing itself apart.
Tearing apart others...
Naturally.
But the nest was supposed to be sacrosanct.
Keegan carefully stretched out beside her, making sure that she left room for Tanis. “Do you plan to go home once this over?”
Tanis felt like Keegan wanted her to say yes, but truthfully, she only wanted to stay with Dash. “I swore myself to King Dash’s service in exchange for being allowed to seek my vengeance.” She left out the part that he’d freed her. Mostly because she was hoping he wouldn’t make her leave.
How are you going to stay in his lands?
The one thing Keegan’s presence was bringing home to her was the fact that dragons didn’t fit in their world. The elfin palace wasn’t built for their size or weight. While the elves were being exceptionally kind to Keegan, it didn’t change that one basic fact.
Dragons were huge.
It forced her to deal with a critical fact that she’d been trying to ignore. One she’d been doing her best to try to dismiss.
With Keegan here, she had to face it. There really was no future for Tanis and Dash.
No matter how much she loved him. No matter how much he loved her... they would never fit together.
Dragons didn’t mix with others.
The barn door opened slowly. “Tanis?”
Her heart saddened by a reality she couldn’t change, she turned to find Dash hesitating. That was a new mood for him. Normally, he was so self-assured and determined.
Hesitant...
Just didn’t fit.
She excused herself from Keegan.
“Is something wrong?” she asked as she drew closer to him.
“I didn’t want to intrude on your time with your friend. But I wanted to let you know that we’ve...” His voice trailed off.
Now she was concerned. Something was really bothering him.
“You what?”
“The elves have reserved a place of honor for your father’s... remains in their temple. I know your religion is very different from theirs, but their priests have agreed to preserve and care for him until you’re ready to take him home and place him with your ancestors. They said that they’ve done their best to follow the dragon rites they know, but they’re sure there are some things your priests keep secret from outsiders.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. Not just because her father was gone. Because of the kindness of those actions. The thoughtfulness.
Of course, he would make sure the elves took care of her father.
If anyone knew how important that would be to her...
It was Dash.
“May I see him?”
He hesitated. “Are you sure about that?”
No. The last time she’d spoken to her father, they’d fought about Davin. She’d demanded her father reclaim his head and her father had refused.
The irony of that wasn’t lost on her.
Maybe if he’d listened to her and done as she asked, it might have saved him. Then again, she doubted it. Ragna had been set on this course.
“I’m sure.” When she started for the door, Keegan rose and started after her.
Dash paused to look up at her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m Princess Tanis’s Shield. My place is by her side.”
He turned toward Tanis. “Shield?”
“Term for a bodyguard. Every member of the royal house is supposed to have one.”
“Since the princess is here alone, it is my honor to serve as hers.”
Clearing his throat, Dash looked a bit green. “ Is she going to curl up at the foot of our bed?”
Tanis laughed at the question he asked in her head. “That would be an interesting thing, wouldn’t it?”
“No. It’d be horrifying.”
“What are you two discussing?” Keegan asked.
“Nothing,” Tanis said quickly. “Will she fit in their temple?”
“She should. But to be sure, I could make her smaller.”
“Just don’t make me human.” Keegan blushed as if she realized how horrible that sounded.
Tanis patted her foot. “I’m not offended. Might be if I was actually human, but I understand.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” Before she finished speaking, she shrank down to just under half her size.
Keegan’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t like this. Not at all. You can put me back, right?”
Dash sucked his teeth. “Well, I think so.”
Tanis smacked him playfully on the arm. “Don’t tease her like that. She’s scared.”
He finally smiled. “Yes, Keegan, I promise I can put you right back.”
She let out a relived breath so deep that it was punctuated by a cloud of smoke. “This is why I don’t hang out with unicorns. They’re inherently mean.”
Tanis laughed. “No more so than most of your guard. And at least he won’t put you to the hazard.”
Keegan screwed her face up. “That was pretty terrible.”
“Hazard?” Dash asked.
“A series of tasks and trials that all dragons are subjected to when they’re trained for war. The more prestigious their rank and assignment, the worse the hazard.”
He stopped walking to pin a concerned stare on Tanis. “You weren’t put to a hazard, were you?”
His angry concern warmed her. “No. I wasn’t allowed to join.”
That only made him angrier. “Because of your captivity?”
It took her a second to realize just how furious he was on her behalf. She could sense his bloodlust.
Wanting to calm him, she took his hand, then tucked his arm under hers and pulled him forward. “We don’t talk about that, remember? And it doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me when you’re not treated with the respect you deserve.”
Leaning against him, she treasured those words. “So, you would rather they have beat me?”
He shook his head at her. “You know what I mean.”
“I do know, and I appreciate your anger on my behalf.”
Tanis fell silent as they neared the steps of the elfin temple. It was a beautiful structure made of glass and stone. Much smaller than the palace, it reminded her of a tree the way it reached up toward the sky. Murals of elves and nature were painted all around it.
Truthfully, she knew very little about their religion. She’d never really interacted with elves until the last few days. They’d been almost mythological to her. Like Stonemen and fairies. If any had ever come to Indara, she’d never seen them.
During her captivity, she’d only known the one unicorn, humans and a few other species who hadn’t spent a lot of time conversing with her.
Most of the ones who’d been held for games had been oni, ogres or trolls. For the matches against them, Baracus had turned her into a dragon and then returned her to human form once it ended. Mostly because he hadn’t wanted to pay to feed a dragon or find a place large enough to keep her.
At least that was what he told others.
The real truth was that he’d been terrified of her as a dragon. Because as a dragon, she had a finite amount of time when his drugs had been effective. Once they began wearing off, he’d end the match and turn her back human.
Between his drugs and spells, she’d been terrified that she’d never go free again.
What he hadn’t counted on was her learning to fight as a human. She’d spent months with the ogres who’d helped her learn sword craft.
Baracus should have paid closer attention.
Just like her father should have.
Tanis slowed her pace as they entered the temple, and she saw the altar in a side nave where they’d placed her father’s head. His head was so large that it took up almost the entire area.
Iagan had been such a fierce beast. His gray eyes piercing. It was surreal to her that she’d never see him again. Never hear his angry bellow cursing her.
Biting her lip, she approached him slowly. “At least he looks peaceful.” As if her sister had killed him while he was asleep.
Dash was right behind her with a gentle hand against her back. “Is there anything we need to do for him or you?”
She shook her head. To the elves’ credit, they’d done a wonderful job of cleaning and shining his scales and draping a crimson cloth over the back of his head where his neck should have been.
“Where do you think his body is?”
Keegan rippled her scales behind her—a shiver for a dragon. “Surely, she didn’t disrespect it. He was her father.”
That was a high crime to their race. Murder wasn’t taken lightly, but to kill someone inside the family...
It carried the harshest of punishments. For this, she’d lose her sister, too.
Tanis felt her tears fall then. “I don’t know. I still don’t see how Ragna could do this.” Her hand shaking, she reached out and touched her father’s snout, remembering those times when she’d been a hatchling...
Back when he’d looked at her with love in his eyes. He would nuzzle her and hold her close. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of those memories in so long. Because they were too painful. She missed the father she’d once known.
The one who’d looked at her with pride and love.
Sobs racked her.
Then Dash was there, pulling her against his hard body. Holding her close. Had he not been there, she would have fallen. But he would never allow that.
He had become her strength.
“I’ve got you, little dragon. Cry as much as you need to.”
Those words made her cry even harder as she clung to him. How weird that she’d do so. Here she’d thought she was long past this. That she was stronger than this.
But it was for the loss of any chance she’d ever have to make amends with her father. He had died hating her, and she would never have a chance to regain his love.
His trust or respect.
Nor would he ever know that she wasn’t the awful, defiled creature he’d called her. It stung on a level so deep that she couldn’t catch her breath.
That was why she now hated her sister. Ragna had robbed her of any chance to have a father again.
And this weakness bothered her. Tanis wasn’t the kind of dragon who cried. Even with Davin’s death, her rage had been such that she hadn’t allowed herself to sob like this. She’d been too determined to find the one responsible.
To punish the dragon slayer for daring to take his life.
Now...
It all coalesced inside her. All the pain and regret for the future she wouldn’t have with them.
She’d give anything to hear her father’s gruff voice, even if it was insulting. Or to hear Davin’s laughter.
To see him teasing Marla and playing with his hatchlings.
Everything was so different now. There was no going home. She no longer even had a family.
This was even worse than when she’d been kidnapped. At least then her family had been intact.
Alive.
Now...
Davin and her father wouldn’t be there. Ragna would be executed.
And Reva...
Her heart stopped as she thought of her other sister. Pulling back from Dash, she turned toward Keegan. “Did Reva have anything to do with this?”
Keegan looked a bit startled by the question. “I don’t know. She was there when we were summoned to come here to meet the centaurs. But I have no idea what she participated in. You know how she and Ragna always are.”
Tighter than fingers in a fist. But Ragna didn’t always trust Reva, either.
Finding a new purpose, Tanis wiped at her eyes. “What were you told?”
“That there were vermin we needed to exterminate. Ragna said that we were to escort her to a meeting. We didn’t question anything beyond that.”
Because they taught not to question orders.
“How did Ragna know I was here?” Tanis looked at Dash.
“Probably one of the gryphons. Or another spy. They’re all over my court. Part of Ryper’s job is ferreting out spies, but he doesn’t find them all. They breed like rats.”
Tanis nodded then turned back to look at her father’s remains. Tears choked her again at the injustice of what had been dealt to him. I know I wasn’t your favorite, but... “I will avenge you, Papa. I promise to make sure your throne is secured by our rightful heirs.”
How ironic that she was the last one he’d want to hear that promise from. That knowledge made her ache all the more. He’d died disappointed in her.
But it didn’t matter. She’d keep her promise regardless. While he might have let her down as a father, he’d been a fair and good king. Just as Dash was.
And at least Davin had secured their lineage. He had three sons to inherit Indara’s throne. Those hatchlings had been her father’s greatest treasure.
If Reva and Ragna were executed over this, Tanis would be the only one left of her father’s children.
As much as she despised her sisters, and as cruel as they’d been to her, she wasn’t sure if she could see them executed.
You’re not a dragon. You’ve been tainted by the mongrels who took you.
Perhaps her father had been right, after all. She didn’t have that same killer instinct inside her that he required of his dragons. She wanted what was fair.
The problem was that she was no longer sure what fair meant.
Heartbroken, she left the temple to head to...
She didn’t know where. This wasn’t home and these weren’t her people.
I have nowhere I belong anymore.
That harsh reality slapped her so hard that for a moment, she couldn’t breathe.
Her brother and father were dead. While Marla had been kind to her before, she might not be now.
At least one, if not both, of her sisters had killed Davin and her father. Marla would have every right to see Tanis banished, based on their actions. Even if Marla took mercy on her, Marla’s family might demand exile or death to protect her sons.
For that matter, Tanis’s extended relatives might do so, as well.
While Marla might be Queen Regent, she would be more at the mercy of their council than a full monarch. Because she wasn’t descended from the blood of the Dragomirs, Marla’s reign would be tightly monitored until her son, Draig, was old enough to inherit.
“Tanis?”
She couldn’t speak at Keegan’s question. The stark, bitter reality of what she was facing hit her.
She’d lost her brother. Her father.
Her sisters.
Her home.
Who am I now?
Everything she knew was gone.
Suddenly, Dash was there. He cupped her face in his hands as he stared down at her with those eerie eyes that practically glowed in the evening light. “You all right?”
“No,” she breathed. “Without my father, I have no home.”
“You have a home.”
“No, Majesty. She’s right. The council will most likely banish her. Even if she didn’t have her past, they would do so to protect the young heir. His safety will take priority over hers.”
“Then I will forbid it.”
Those words touched her, but she knew it wouldn’t matter.
“They will kill her to protect the heir, Majesty. No one will trust her after what her sister has done. Even if Reva had no part in it, she’ll be banished, too.”
Fury darkened his eyes. “Then why are you here?”
Keegan passed a sympathetic look to Tanis. “We were best friends once. I didn’t want to leave her alone in her grief. I didn’t realize that she had you.”
His thumbs brushed against Tanis’s cheeks. “You do have me, Dragon. Wherever I am, you’ll always have a home.”
But would she have to give up the last of her identity to stay with him?
Who would she be then?
Keegan was having to stay inside a barn like livestock because she didn’t fit in anything other than the grand hall of the palace. Licordia would be no different. It was designed around unicorns and humans, not giant dragons.
What was she going to do?