Chapter 12
Xaydin was stunned by Gisela’s unexpected words. This was a woman who’d come here to kill him. One he still wasn’t sure wouldn’t try if he gave her a chance.
Granted, the last few days had been…
Special wasn’t quite the right word. Different, but that didn’t sound right either.
There wasn’t really a word for what they’d shared.
So, he stared at her in disbelief. “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”
Her cheeks turned bright pink. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”
As she started away, he caught her hand.
“Gisela—”
“It’s fine, Xaydin. I wasn’t serious.”
He didn’t need his brother’s mind reading abilities to know that was a lie. She’d definitely meant it, and she was currently pissed off at him.
“I’m not saying no, my lady. You just caught me off guard.”
Gisela wanted to be angry. More than that, she wanted to strike out at him.
But he was right. From his perspective, her request had come out of nowhere. She’d given him no indication that she felt like this about him. Or that she was the least bit interested in him.
In truth, she’d rebuffed him and been quite standoffish, one kiss notwithstanding.
Xaydin rose slowly from his pallet so that he could face her. “Is this really what you want?”
Honestly, she wasn’t sure. A part of her salivated for him, but another part was terrified.
Would it change her? That seemed stupid, but she didn’t know for certain. She’d seen plenty of men and women who were wanton. Lust controlled them. She didn’t want to be like them. A pawn driven by hormones.
But at the same time, she did want to experience it at least once. Preferably with someone she liked.
“Is it pleasurable?” She felt stupid even for asking.
An adorable grin curved his lips. “It can be. If done right.”
Mortified, she covered her face with her hands. “Forget I said anything.”
He approached her slowly. Even though she couldn’t see him with her eyes closed, she felt every inch of him. He gently pulled her hands from her eyes and cupped her face in his hands. Tilting her chin, he bent down to whisper in her ear. “Look at me, Gisela.”
She did.
“This is up to you. You’re a beautiful woman and I would be honored to be with you, but I would never impose or encroach.”
And that was why she adored him. He was so different from anyone she’d met.
For all she knew, she could die tomorrow. Her own mother could order her killed. Anything could happen. Regrets were part of her life.
But the one regret she didn’t want to have was this man…
“I want to know.” The words were barely more than a whisper as she stared up at him. “I want you, Xaydin.”
Xaydin’s heart pounded. A decent man would most likely pull away from her.
But he wasn’t decent. Not tonight and not after that invitation. He was feral and hard.
A part of him was skittish. He’d never let his passion rule him. Too many had fallen victim to their lust. In the back of his mind, he knew how vulnerable it made him. How easy it would be to lose his life over his hormones.
He’d never been that kind of man. Just as he’d never been one for seductive words. Now, he wished he knew how to tell her how much this moment meant.
How much she meant to him.
He’d been so long without the comfort of a woman’s body. So long without the warmth of a tender caress that he could barely remember it. Even then, he’d had no attachment to the woman. Just a physical ache to be sated.
Gisela meant something to him. They weren’t strangers who’d part ways as soon as it was done.
She would be here on the morrow.
Don’t do this.
It was all kinds of folly.
Yet how could he not? The taste of her kiss was still branded on his tongue. The silken heaven of her mouth was more than he could resist.
He was a mere mortal, not some saint who lived to suffer.
His thoughts racing, Xaydin traced the curve of her lips with his fingertip, before he parted her lips and kissed her deeply.
He closed his eyes and inhaled the sweetness of her breath. The feel of her supple body pressed against his while he loosened the stays for her top.
“Are you sure, Gisela?” he asked one final time, giving them both a chance before they did something stupid.
She nodded before she pulled his lips back to hers. “I will never regret you.”
He felt the same way. “Then no regrets for either of us.”
Gisela’s heart fluttered as he offered her a real smile. It was unexpected and breathtaking.
His dark eyes were hungry and feral as his heat surrounded her. Never had she felt anything like this as he swept her up in his arms and carried her toward the bed where she’d intended to sleep alone. The heat and strength of him surrounded her.
And she wanted more.
He laid her down before he joined her on a bed that seemed to shrink in size. While she’d known how large he was, he seemed even more massive now.
But all that fled as he returned to her lips to kiss her. She actually purred. Never once had she been touched like this. Never had she thought a mere kiss could be so incredible.
And when his warm, callused hand closed around her breast, she jumped in nervous excitement. Pain and pleasure stabbed through her body as heat pooled itself between her legs.
What was this burning in her body? This strange ache that craved him? She’d thought in the past that she knew lust, but this was an entirely different sensation.
Much more intense.
Much more terrifying.
She didn’t understand these confusing sensations. How could her body feel like this?
Xaydin left her lips to kiss a trail down her throat to the breast he cupped.
Trembling, Gisela swallowed at the sight of his dark head at her breast, at the feel of his tongue teasing her taut nipple. His tongue was rough and hot, his lips soothing and tender.
She cupped his head to her and reveled in the sensation of his dark curls teasing her fingers.
He was so beautiful there, tasting her, teasing her. His incredibly handsome face showed the pleasure he received just from touching her.
Gisela sighed in contentment and let the incredible earthy sensations sweep her away until she was nothing but an extension of the man holding her.
Tonight, she would be his without reservation or fear. Biting her lip, she whispered his name.
Xaydin had never tasted anything like her body. She was so warm, so inviting. More so because he knew she was sharing with him what she had shared with no one else.
He was her first. As incredulous as that seemed. She was so worldly in some manners.
But not in this.
Why she chose a creature like him, he couldn’t imagine. He was so unworthy of what she offered.
But then they were like creatures. Born of brutality and sorrow.
Something that hit hard as he exposed more of her skin and saw that she held as many scars as he did. Without thinking, he traced a vicious mark that had almost pierced her heart.
The moment she realized what he was looking at, she tried to cover it. Her eyes flared with shame, igniting a fury deep in his soul.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know they’re hideous.”
He pulled her hand away and stared hard into her eyes. “Our scars are the story of our pasts that made us who we are. Never hide yours, my lady. They are beautiful and so are you for having survived them.”
Gisela couldn’t breathe as she heard the sincerity in his voice. In that moment, she wasn’t ashamed.
She felt beautiful. Something that she’d never felt before. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
For seeing her when no one ever had. “For being you.” And for being more wonderful than she could have ever imagined. Especially given his reputation. She’d have never guessed that such a beast would have a heart like his.
Because until he’d found her, she’d never had one herself. Never cared about anyone. She’d believed the lies of others. That she was frigid and emotionless.
No, not emotionless. Lost to her pain. Lost to those scars that had cut much deeper than her flesh. They had seared themselves into her soul and left her cold and angry.
But not tonight. Tonight, she felt reborn by his kindness.
And she was glad that tonight, for this one moment and for whatever reason, she was with him.
Gisela tugged at his black tunic.
Eager to oblige her, he pulled it off.
She gasped audibly as she ran her hands over his tense, muscular arms. He was exquisite, and she reveled at the softness of his skin over the steely feel of his body.
Xaydin clenched his teeth as his head reeled from pleasure.
The things her touch did to him…
It was incredible. Invigorating. It made him feel virile and wild. He was hard and aching. Most of all, he felt vulnerable to her in a way he’d never felt before.
Even so, he couldn’t pull back. Her touch was addictive and he craved every inch of her body.
And he wanted more of her…
Gisela felt a moment of panic as he removed her chemise from her. She was suddenly exposed to him.
It was scary and strangely erotic. She couldn’t recall ever being naked in front of another person. Mostly because of her scars and her fear of how they’d sneer at her for having them. Especially the lash marks she’d been given as a girl. Marks that proved how bad she’d been at everything.
No one knew what she looked like bare.
Except Xaydin. He had just as many scars on him, if not more. But in his case, she suspected they weren’t because he was bad at something.
Rather because he’d chosen to break rules and fight hard. That was who he was.
Unlike her, he probably hadn’t cried, but rather dared them to hit him again.
And harder.
He was defiant, and she loved that most.
Without a word, he withdrew from her and removed the rest of his clothes. Gisela wanted to look away but couldn’t bring herself to do so. He was resplendent.
Yet as she stared at the large size of him, she tried to imagine what it would feel like to take him into her body. Surely, it wouldn’t be possible.
Would it?
“Will you hurt me?” she asked hesitantly.
His eyes warm, he stroked her cheek with his fingers. “That is not my intention.”