Chapter 17 #3
She shook her head. “She can’t shift. I know that for a fact. It infuriates her that she’s stuck in a centaur’s body.” And now it made a lot more sense why that angered her. No doubt, she felt robbed by her genetic code.
“But you can.”
“Exactly. I always thought it came from my father. But no one ever mentioned Cratus having those powers. If the shifting isn’t from him…” She arched a brow.
“It has to come from your mother.”
“Exactly,” she said with a nod. “But have you ever heard of it skipping a generation?”
Ronan grew silent as he considered that.
“No one knows much about us because they’re always too busy trying to kill us.
And there aren’t that many of us left. I know in most mixed marriages, the children can’t shift.
Not always true…but it’s uncommon for it to happen.
It was why those marriages were forbidden while Lygaria stood.
They were trying to preserve our race because even then our numbers were dwindling. ”
That made sense to her. But it didn’t answer her primary question. “I know my grandmother wasn’t a shifter.”
“Do you? She could have been one of us who only lived as a centaur.”
“You can do that?”
He nodded. “I have a friend who spends her life as a bird. She almost never shifts into any other form. It’s not uncommon for shifters to withdraw from the world and live as something else. Again, it’s why no one knows how many of us are left. We could be the insect in the room or anything.”
“So, there’s no way of knowing where this came from?”
“None at all.”
Which made her wonder if her mother knew? “Do you think any of my other siblings are able to shift?”
“It’s possible.”
How would she know?
But if Ferox had been able to shift, he wouldn’t have hesitated. His arrogance was such that he would have bragged about it to everyone and used it to intimidate and bully others. Her eldest brother was a royal ass.
As for the others...
They weren’t that different and her mother had never treated them the way she did Gisela.
Which meant this was her birth defect alone and why she’d always believed the ability had come from her father. But neither Dash nor his sister, to her knowledge, could shift.
What was her family history? She’d never been that curious before. Now…
She wanted to understand who she was. Where she’d come from. What her powers were.
“When did you first shift?” she asked him.
“I don’t remember. But normally our children begin when they’re four or five. What about you?”
How could she forget? She’d been five and had sneezed. One moment she’d been a unicorn and in the next, human.
Her governess had screamed and run off to tell her mother—who had told others she was Gisela’s guardian.
That had turned out to be a mistake as her mother’s first act had been to kill the woman for witnessing her transition. Meara’s next move had been to imprison Gisela until she’d learned to control her shifting.
To this day, she was traumatized by her mother’s hostility and hatred. She’d always assumed her mother had reacted that way out of fear of others learning Meara had slept with a shifter and birthed his child.
But if this came from her mother’s side of the family, it made even more sense. The centaur nobles could use it as a reason to overthrow their queen. While they were currently quelled by Meara’s wrath, they might find courage to rise up against her if they realized she wasn’t fully one of them.
Centaurs were terribly paranoid and they hated anyone who wasn’t a pure blood. It was why Thassalia kept to themselves and rarely allowed others to live there. Or even visit. Why it’d been such a shock when Meara had allowed the hostages of other kingdoms to live in her lands.
And why the centaur nobles had been fine when Meara had used those hostages as public entertainment.
While centaurs didn’t like others, they did like watching them suffer.
She’d never understood why. She couldn’t stand seeing others in pain. But apparently, she was an anomaly. Other creatures thought pain was highly entertaining. Meara had made a fortune off the bleeding backs of those like Ronan and Xaydin.
And her.
Truthfully, she’d never understood why her mother had allowed her to live. It wasn’t like Meara to leave anything undone or any witnesses.
Was it because she was her only daughter? Or because Meara couldn’t torture Cratus, so she tortured his child in his place? Nothing in regards to her life made sense. It never had.
“Xaydin told me that you had questions about being a shifter.”
She nodded. “Many. I know very little about that part of my abilities.” Because her mother had forbidden her from using them unless it was while she was killing someone Meara wanted dead. Then…her mother was more than happy to give her all the leniency she needed.
Just don’t fail me. Her mother’s mantra.
“How do we spot others of our kind?”
Ronan shrugged. “You really can’t. Not until they do something to betray themselves.”
“If we take the form of someone else, do we get information about the person we…subsume?”
“No. Those who impersonate usually spend a few days following their target around. Either in the body of something small such as a fly or other insect. Once they believe they can pretend to be their target, they take them over.”
That sent a chill over her. So the imposter had been with them, and no one had noticed.
Not even Masakage.
A shiver went down her spine. Did that mean that Diflyn could be with them even now?
“That being said,” Ronan continued. “There is a scent that we carry unique to us. In certain forms such as a bloodhound or honeybee, it can be detected. So there are shifters who can and will pursue others of our kind.”
“Are those the only two to beware of? Bees and bloodhounds?”
“There are other animals who can smell us out, but they’re either cumbersome or disgusting to be, such as a rat. But any canid can detect us. Bloodhounds just have a better sense of smell than their cousins.”
Good to know. She’d never thought to track as a dog or wolf. Mostly because she hadn’t needed that level of skill to find her targets.
“What are you two scheming about?”
Her heart lightened at the sound of Xaydin’s deep, resonant voice. It was good to hear him, however… “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
He scoffed at her chiding tone as he took the chair between them. “Bah. It was cold and lonely.”
“I thought you liked being alone,” Ronan teased before he took a deep drink of his ale.
“For many things.” He motioned the innkeeper who came into the room to fetch him his own tankard.
While they waited, she held hers out for him. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better. Did Candara heal me?”
Ronan nodded. “Although I’m not sure what she did. But she had an awful headache from it.”
He grimaced at that, then took a drink from Gisela’s tankard. “I hate that I caused that for her. So, where’s the bastard who knifed me? Still in the stable?”
Ronan refilled his cup as the innkeeper brought the tankard for Xaydin and then left them. “Aye. Still under guard.”
“Good. I want a few words with him.”
“I’m thinking there won’t be a lot of talking, but rather a lot more satisfaction.”
Xaydin clanged his tankard against Ronan’s. “You know me too well.”
Gisela scoffed. “You don’t have to know you that well to know you’re prone to violence, even on your best day.”
“True.” Xaydin sucked his breath in sharply, then rubbed at his side where she knew he’d been stabbed.
That made her heart stop. “Are you all right?”
“I’ll live. My attacker won’t be so lucky.” Those words were cold and emotionless.
Not that she blamed him. She wanted blood from Garyn, too. And it was strange to her to be on this side of the matter. Strange how she’d never considered the family and loved ones of her targets before.
She hadn’t cared.
And she now realized how wrong she’d been. Before this assignment, it’d been a job. She was her mother’s sword. A mindless animal carrying out her queen’s commands.
Now, she regretted every single life she’d taken in the name of a centaur who held no feelings for anyone.
Xaydin wasn’t a monster.
She was.
Unlike her, Xaydin had never been an unfeeling weapon.
I don’t deserve happiness. She was the same kind of beast Garyn was. Selfish and mindless.
Well, maybe not quite. Maybe that was a little harsh. She had never pretended to be someone’s loved one. Never lived among the families of her targets. That was a terrifying level of callousness. To strike while knowing how it would impact those who loved her target.
Could she have done her job then?
No. She wasn’t that unfeeling. Not yet at least.
“How many people do you think Garyn has killed?” she asked.
Her question surprised the men who turned to look at her.
“Does it matter?” Ronan asked.
Not really. “I was curious. Did he say how long he’d been serving my mother?”
“No. But to be fair, I didn’t ask.”
Xaydin poured himself more drink. “What are you thinking, love?”
“Trying to understand my mother. Something I’ve spent far too many hours attempting in my life.”
Ronan sighed. “She’s selfish. That breed doesn’t think like the rest of us.”
That was certainly true. A part of her felt sorry for the fact that her mother couldn’t appreciate those around her. Gisela would have loved her mother as a faithful daughter had she ever been allowed to.
It physically hurt her that she’d never been given that chance.
All because her mother was incapable of loving anyone. Of reaching out and caring.
How sad.
Looking at Xaydin, she was grateful that if she’d learned nothing else by being with him, it was that she was capable of caring for someone else. Capable of loving them.
He reached across and lightly squeezed her hand as if he knew her train of thought.
You’re not your mother and you never will be. His voice in her head startled her.
He had known her thoughts. Had they been written in her expression or was he that intuitive?
Suddenly, they heard a commotion outside.
With a stern frown, Xaydin slid back and rose before heading out to see what it was. She and Ronan followed hard on his heels.
Once they were outside the inn, she saw Rob’s guards rushing about.
“What happened?” Xaydin demanded.
“Prisoner’s escaped!”
Rage descended over her as she heard those words. Garyn was gone? “How?”
No one responded. Probably because it was a stupid question that didn’t matter. All that was important was the fact that he was gone.
“I should have killed him while I had the chance,” she growled out between her clenched teeth. How could she have been so stupid as to take mercy on him?
I should have cut his tongue out!
Ronan rushed ahead, into the stable.
She stayed by Xaydin’s side. It was obvious he wanted to run forward, too, but his injuries were still too raw for that degree of mobility.
As they entered the stable, she saw the empty shackles that were still fastened.
“How did he get free?” she asked.
Candara pointed to the cuffs. “Someone removed the ward.”
“His accomplice, no doubt.” Ronan growled low in his throat. “Want me to hunt them down?”
Xaydin shook his head. “They haven’t gone far. I can sense it.” He glanced about making her wonder if they hadn’t turned into a fly or something smaller.
By the expression on Ronan’s face, she could tell the same thought was in his mind as well.
Ronan paused and met Xaydin’s eyes. They were talking to each other.
Why don’t I have that ability? She hated that she had no idea what they were discussing. Part of her was suspicious and felt left out. Had it been her mother, she would have definitely been on high alert.
With Xaydin…
She trusted him. As miraculous as it was, she knew he wasn’t keeping her out because he was plotting against her or doing anything more than trying to protect himself and Ronan. He wasn’t vicious or duplicitous.
While Rob and his men continued to search for Garyn and uncover clues, Ronan turned into a bird and flew off.
Xaydin offered her his arm so that he could lead her toward Masakage who’d just entered the stable.
He paused next to his brother, then kept walking. Masakage fell in line behind them.
“What’s going on?” she whispered.
Not here. I’ll explain in a moment.
Without anything more, he led them back to the inn and didn’t speak until after they’d climbed the stairs to his room.
“Secure the room.”
Masakage brought out a small wand that elongated into his staff that held the glowing blue ball on top of it. He tapped the bottom against the floor, causing the ball to turn so bright, it was blinding. A soft wave went through the room. One that rippled her hair and clothes before it settled down.
He inclined his head to Xaydin. “We’re good. The room’s sealed.”
“Good. I sent Ronan out to search for the Ningyoan prince while we deal with this.”
“Finding Garyn?” she asked.
Xaydin shook his head. “He’s dead.”
That shocked her. “What?”
“He was on the floor as an upside-down cockroach.” Masakage crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m thinking his partner got to him so that we couldn’t question him anymore.”
Before she could ask why, they heard a scream from down the hall.
Masakage went pale. “Dara’s being attacked!”