Chapter 18 #4
Xaydin braced himself for the sudden coldness of his body as she withdrew from him. It was for the best, and yet his soul itself cried out for him to hold her close.
To keep her from walking out that door.
But it was over and he knew it.
With that thought slashing through him, he did the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. He watched as she made her way out of the room.
Xaydin pressed his hand to his eyes and cursed beneath his breath. How had this happened? How had he allowed an enemy’s assassin to slide her way into his well-guarded heart?
And yet she wasn’t his enemy. Not like her mother. If she were, she’d have never conquered him so skillfully. She was merely a woman of great convictions. Bold, intelligent and determined. All traits he admired.
Now she was gone.
Pain the likes of which he’d never known consumed his heart.
“You have to be the greatest fool in all Thirteen Kingdoms.” Candara’s voice filled his ears as he realized when he dropped the ward to let Gisela leave, she must have entered his room. “Then again, I take it back. You’re the greatest fool ever born.”
Without uncovering his eyes, he growled at her. “Leave me alone, Dara. I’ve no patience for you at present.”
“Good, because I don’t have any for you, either. I’ve never suffered fools and I have no intention of starting now.”
To his complete astonishment, she came over and slapped him across his uninjured ribs.
Xaydin grimaced at the unexpected pain and moved his arm so that he could glare up at her. “What are you doing?”
“Beating you for your idiocy. Be grateful you’re injured. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me from doing more damage.”
He snorted dismissively at her threat. “It’d take a lot more than your hits to harm me. Or even your potions.”
“I don’t know if I’d take that bet. Not with the anger burning in my soul at the moment. How could you let Gisela leave you?”
His gut tightened at the thought, even though his head understood the why. “It’s for the best.”
She slapped his side again.
“Have you gone mad?”
“I was born mad, but in the past, you always seemed to have more sense. You love that woman. So why are you pushing her away?”
“What do you know of it?”
She stood with her hands on her hips and her face showing every bit of her ire at him.
“We’re not stupid or blind. All of us know how you feel about her.
It’s no great secret, given the light that comes into your eyes at the mere mention of Gisela’s name.
Never mind the way you watch her like a hungry wolf whenever she draws near you. ”
“Centaur shit.”
She rolled her eyes at him, then said something under her breath that he couldn’t quite make out.
“Did you just call me an ogre?”
“I called you an ogre-headed troll.”
“Why?”
She moved to slap him again, but this time he grabbed her hand before she made contact.
Instead, she kicked her foot against the bed and used her powers to assault him.
“Ow!” he snapped as something sharp struck his ass.
“You’re my brother, Xaydin, and I love you, but I swear there are times when I could strangle the very life out of you.” Candara turned away and headed for the door.
She paused and looked back at him. “Tell me something, Xaydin. When you’re too old to carry your sword and battle for the weak, who will sit in the hall beside you to keep you company?”
He looked away at that. Honestly, he preferred not to think about his future. If he were lucky, he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Some ataswere would make sure he died long before he grew old.
At least that was his plan.
However, his sister was in no mood to give him any sort of quarter from those thoughts.
“You can’t stop time from moving forward, nor can you defeat every demon who walks these kingdoms. All your life, you’ve been running from the ghost of your childhood, terrified of becoming as callous as our mother.
But tell me honestly, X, what would have happened had our mother loved your father the way he loved her?
Imagine for one moment, a marriage where two people live and die for each other.
Both of them hopelessly in love for the whole of their lives. ”
How easy she made it sound. “Do you think it possible?”
“Masakage has told me that King Dash lives in utter happiness with his dragon queen. You’ve seen that yourself.”
She was right about that. The two of them were deliriously happy.
But they were still newly married. What they had might last forever and it could end tomorrow.
“You make it sound so simple, Dara. But her mother would never allow her a life with me. She’d sic her dogs on us for eternity.”
“When has being pursued ever scared the great Prince Xaydin?”
She had a point. That was his happy place.
“Besides,” she continued. “Nothing is ever simple. Nor is anything worth having, unless you have to strive for it. But don’t strive too long, Xaydin, or you may very well find yourself the loser in this.
Have you given any thought as to how you’ll feel when you see the woman you love off with some other man? ”
That was just plain mean. And those words created an image in his mind so disturbing that he could barely draw breath.
No, he’d never once thought of that.
“Gisela would never be with another!” he called out after Candara. His injuries protested his raised voice by throbbing instantly.
Smirking, his sister stuck her head through the door so that she looked like some sick trophy. “Keep telling yourself that, brother, and on the day of her wedding, I’ll make sure to find you and comfort you.”
In that moment, he hated his sister for what she was doing. The last thing he needed to hear was the truth.
How dare she!
Throwing his pillow at her head, he then turned to his side and did his best to push her words out of his mind.
Gisela would never betray him like that and choose another man. Her freedom was too precious to her.
What if she loves another? Some centaur who might catch her eye…
That thought hovered in his mind like a demon plague. It could happen. Some other man could woo her. One who would stay by her side and give her his children.
The thought tore through him.
Set her free.
Xaydin cursed. It was what he should do. Look now how distracted he was and they barely knew one another. Imagine twenty years from now...
I would still love her.
He knew that. No matter what happened, she would always hold his heart.
Damn me.
She was his life and his soul.
And there could never be a future for them.