Chapter 17 DOLL
XVII. DOLL
Morning crept in, and I lay still in his bed. Every muscle in my body hurts. My body was bruised and spent, but the pain felt good. Almost addictive. And for the first time in so long, I forgot about Rio. About empty promises. About people who never cared. All I could think about was him.
Liar.
Every word he had spoken, I questioned. Was any of it real? Maybe not. But I loved every lie he told. It felt better than truth, softer than reality. I guess that’s how it all begins. With lies.
A bully.
He made me hate myself, yet showed me his darkest side. And still, I wanted to be part of it. Every broken piece.
Is love really this blind? That we can’t tell what’s real and what’s a lie?
Is this what love is supposed to feel like, pain first, pleasure after? The ache that makes you wonder if he’ll stay or leave you behind?
He made me forget everything before him, until my past felt like someone else’s life. A new chapter opened, with a brand new nightmare, and I stepped right in.
Maybe this is my karma.
I don’t even know what I did to deserve it.
Or maybe I am his karma.
Maybe I was meant to fill that hollow space in him, to show him love exists. That he can open himself up to someone. That he can give his heart away, even if it’s not to me. Maybe that’s my purpose, to break so he can heal.
Maybe love is just that. Letting go.
They say if you love someone, set them free.
If they return, they’re yours. But what if I was never meant to let him go?
What if my place was always to wait? Now I understand what that means.
Even if I walked away, I would still find my way back to him.
Because of how he made me feel. Alive. Like I wanted to keep breathing.
Maybe it’s toxic. But I want to be poisoned by it.
I noticed him moving under the sheets, his body pressing into the mattress, until I felt his breath on my inner thighs. When I moved the sheet, I saw him already between my legs, looking up at me, locking his eyes with mine.
“Breakfast,” he said, pulling me closer.
I chuckled, spreading my legs. “You better eat,” I said, pressing my hand down on his head.
I felt his smile on my clit, then a gentle bite that made me gasp.
I bit my lip as his tongue slid down, his cold hands spreading my lower lips. I lifted my legs, making the sheet fall off, leaving us both exposed.
He grabbed both of my legs and spread them wider, leaning them against me. The way he moved lifted my ass and stretched me open.
Every muscle burned, but it felt so good.
He thrust his tongue inside me, in and out, my wetness dripping down his chin. He kept going, tongue sliding deep, then flicking the top of my clit, eating me up. His lower teeth scraped down over my flesh as his tongue sank deeper, moving side to side, driving me wild.
I moaned loudly, my chest rising and falling. One hand squeezed my right breast, the other gripped the pillow tight, breath coming in sharp gasps.
My eyes rolled back. My whole body pulsed.
Then he stopped.
When I opened my eyes, he was kneeling in front of me. I was already on the edge. It wouldn’t take much.
He held his cock in one hand, and in the light, it looked even bigger. I could see every place it was pierced. He came closer. My hands held my legs where his had been.
He tapped my clit twice, teasing me, then dragged the tip from the top, down across my hole to my ass. He pushed just an inch inside. I gasped, eyes squeezing shut. Like he was testing me.
He pulled back, dragged the tip up again, then slammed inside in one deep thrust.
He pressed his palm into the lower part of my stomach, making me feel him even deeper. My eyes flew open.
He didn’t speak. Just watched my face, listened to every moan, then grabbed me and started thrusting harder.
I was already unraveling. My nails dug into my thighs. My breath got shallow with every thrust.
He moved my hands, pinned them above my head, leaned in, and kissed me while fucking me. His lips stayed on mine.
My legs locked around his hips, pulling him deeper. His hands slid from mine, under my back, and spun me over until I was on top.
I pressed my palm to his chest and rode him, arching my back as I bounced. He smiled up at me. I dripped all over him, my mouth falling open, hands now on my breasts. I tightened around him, riding harder, then dropped back onto him, breathless.
He moved his hand to my neck, squeezing just enough to take my breath away, rough enough to make me beg for air as he took control, thrusting faster, holding me up in the air.
“Breathe, Doll,” he whispered, loosening his grip just enough for me to catch a breath, then he squeezed again.
“I...” I tried to speak, but nothing came out. Only moans left my lips as my eyes rolled back in pleasure.
He let go of my neck, and I gasped for air.
He pushed deeper, so deep I started to shake.
“I’m not done yet,” he chuckled, slamming me down on the bed. “No matter how hard you shake.”
“I always finish what I start,” he said, as he turned me over like a rag doll, lifted my ass, and teased me, dragging the tip from my clit down to my ass.
He spat, his thumb sliding in as he spread me wider. Then he slapped my ass, leaving a red mark on my ass cheek. Then he dragged the tip of his cock up again, pressing it against the tight entrance.
“No,” I gasped. But he ignored me.
He pushed in.
Pain hit first. So much I bit into my fist to keep from screaming as he pushed further. Every thrust stretched me more. The pain twisted, turned into heat, then into pleasure.
“Yes,” I moaned.
He kept going deeper. “You’re driving me crazy, Doll,” he groaned, spanking my ass again, the sound echoing as he moaned through his teeth.
I felt every piece of metal scrape and drag with each thrust, the stretch, the pressure. Then he grew harder, wider. He was close.
But he pulled out.
He rubbed himself between my ass cheeks, pressing them together, stroking until I felt his release spill warm across my skin.
He leaned over me, and I collapsed on the bed with the breath gone and my body limp.
He whispered in my ear, “I want you to feel me on every inch of your body.” He tightened his grip around me, hugging me close, his teeth grazing the edge of my ear. “How does it feel?”
I chuckled. “Like I lost the ability to walk.”
He turned me around, propping himself on one elbow. His hand traced down my chest, then up to my jaw.
“This is all I can give you,” he said quietly. “You know that, right, Doll?”
I nodded, exhaling.
“Are you scared?” he whispered. His face hovered over mine, his lips just an inch away. “Scared that maybe this is what you need, too?”
I nodded again.
“Good,” he growled, pressing his mouth to mine. “Fear of falling makes you feel alive.”
His tongue slid against mine. I moved closer, climbed on top of him, the heat of his skin burning through mine. His fingers brushed from my neck down my spine, leaving shivers on my skin.
“I want everything with you,” I whispered, my lips still against his. “But I do have one favor to ask.”
He rolled his eyes. “Do I even want to know?”
I smiled faintly and touched his lips, tracing the scar on the right side.
“I want to see Carlo,” I said. “I want to know he’s okay.”
He stared at me, his expression darkening. “You keep giving everything to people who don’t give two shits about you,” he said, locking his eyes to mine. “You love everyone so unconditionally, but you never get it back.”His hand cupped my cheek. “Why?”
“That’s all I know,” I said softly. “It makes me feel good… I think.”
He sighed, thumb brushing away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen.
“That’s not good enough,” he whispered. “You can’t keep emptying yourself into people who don’t even notice you’re running dry.”
I swallowed hard, forcing a smile that trembled.
“If I stop giving, then what am I left with?” My voice cracked. “If I stop caring, I’ll become them.”
“Sometime soon you’ll understand,” he said. “When you care less, they care more. When you care more, they care less.”He paused, exhaling. “Point is, at the end of the day, the only person left is you.”
“Who broke you?” I whispered.
“The whole world did,” he breathed against my lips.
“Would you let me heal you?” I asked, another tear slipping free.
“You already did, Doll,” he murmured, kissing my forehead.
He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “If it’ll make you feel better, go home. Talk to Carlo.” He stood, pulling on his pants. “But you have to know he had those euros on him when I took you. The little shit could’ve stopped me, but he didn’t say a word.”
A tear slid down my cheek as he turned away.
Then he looked back, smirking, kneeling beside the bed again. He wiped the tear with his thumb.
“But come back by midnight,” he said softly. “You belong here.”
I nodded.
“With me,” he whispered.
I smiled.
“Promise?” he asked.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back to the bed.
“I promise.”
Maybe he is all I ever needed. Maybe God had a better plan for me.