Chapter 22 DOLL
XXII. DOLL
We walked back from the woods, and as the house came into view, everything had already fallen silent. The people were gone, the lights were dead, and the carnival was closed again. In front of the stairs, Oscar and Rocco were sitting on the steps, waiting for Enzo and me to come back.
As we approached, Rocco spoke first.
“Mia is part of the Circle.”
“Cazzo.” Enzo grabbed his hair and stepped back.
“She took everything,” he said. “Money, every freak, every clown.” He shook his head. “From both of us.”
I moved to Oscar and placed a hand on his shoulder, but he brushed me off without even looking at me.
“What now?” Enzo asked.
“We start again,” Rocco said. “And this time, we will be the ones who take everything from them. I found every single name of the cult and wrote it in the ledger. We know their names, their addresses, all of it.”
While they planned, Rio appeared at the top of the stairs. He spotted me instantly, and he shouted across the yard.
“Ace.”
His Ace of Hearts.
He ran down the stairs so fast it felt like the whole house shook with him. He pushed right past Oscar and Rocco and reached me without hesitation. His palms caught my cheeks, and he kissed me. The shock of it pulled the air straight out of my chest.
He remembered. But why does it feel like I want to forget now?
“Fuck, it feels good to have you back,” he whispered against my lips. His touch was so gentle I almost believed I was loved again.
My eyes shifted toward Oscar. He stood slowly, his jaw tight, and shoved both Rio and me apart.
Without a word, he turned and walked away.
He headed across the yard with his fists clenched, moving faster and faster until he reached the path toward the Ferris wheel.
For a moment, I thought he would come back and hit Rio for kissing me, but he never looked back. He just kept going.
“What’s with him?” Rio laughed toward Enzo.
Enzo just shrugged. I did not look back at them. I took off running after Oscar, hearing Rio call my name behind me.
When I caught up to him, I grabbed his hand.
“Hey,” I whispered. “Please.”
He turned around fast. His height towered over me, his breathing becoming sharp and uneven.
“What do you want, huh?” he asked.
“Oscar,” I whispered, “I want you.”
He laughed and pointed back toward Rio.
“That is not what you showed just now.”
A tear slipped down my cheek. “He doesn’t know.”
“No, I guess he doesn’t,” Oscar said. He pushed me away, not violently but firm enough to make it hurt. “And if that is what you want, it is fine by me.”
“It is not,” I begged. “All this time I was searching for this crazy, stupid love, and I forgot I can’t force something that I can’t have.”
“You still have time.” He brushed my hand away again and took another step forward, his eyes refusing to meet mine.
“Am I that hard to love?” I cried out.
He spun back toward me, grabbed my shoulders, and shook me once.
“Don’t you get it?” he shouted. “I am.”
“That is not true.” I wiped the tears from my face.
“You deserve someone better. And if Rio is that,” he said, “fine.”
“You would give up so easily for me?” Another tear slid down my cheek.
“No,” he said. “I would never give up on you.” His hand lifted to my face, his thumb brushing my cheek. “But your happy ending is not with me.”
“But a happy ending is not what I want,” I whispered.
“Ugh.” He groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “You are so annoying.”
More tears spilled. I looked at him and saw a man who was scared, bitter, and trying so hard to run from what he felt. So I turned around. Maybe this time, I was the one who needed to let go. Maybe if I did, he would come back.
“It is not that I don’t care, not that I don’t love,” he said with his back turned to me. “I am afraid I will do something again that will make you hate me so much that you leave. I would rather push you away than be the one left alone.”
He turned slowly. I felt his breath warm against my neck.
“It isn’t that I see you as a problem, or someone I could never be with.
God, if I could, I would turn back time and make myself the one you fell in love with first. I would erase every pain you ever felt.
But reality is this. I am a man standing in front of a girl, and I am not the one who is worthy of her. ”
I faced him. My voice broke. “Is this goodbye?”
“No.” His lips brushed softly against mine. “I want you to leave, and live. Live fully. And if that is still not enough for you, come back. Find me. Maybe you can teach me how to be human again.”
He breathed out a long sigh. “He is better for you. He can love you. He can give you everything you crave.”
He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. His heartbeat trembled under my palm. “If ten years from now he fails, come back to me. Forgive me. But until then, let me heal. Let me become the man you deserve, the man you need.”
My eyes filled with tears. My hands shook. I knew this was goodbye, even if he refused to say the word. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his cheek.
“You will be the only number I call,” I whispered. My breath caught on a sob. “I promise.”
Then I turned and walked away. I felt him turn too, both of us breaking in opposite directions. At the edge of the yard, I looked back one more time, but he was already gone.
I could see the sun slowly rising, the sky turning soft and pale. As I came closer to the house, Enzo looked at me. He already knew the choice Oscar made. The moment I saw his face, I broke. My knees almost gave out as I rushed into Rio’s arms.
He pressed my head against his chest and whispered, “I am here now, Ace.”
Sometimes the right choice you make is the wrong one for your heart.
Rocco stood up and walked toward us. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the tarot deck he had given me before.
“I found it while we cleaned the house,” he said.
I nodded, still crying, my eyes burning and blurred. I pulled out a single card, hoping for a sign. When I flipped it over, the Moon stared back at me.
The Moon meant illusion, confusion, fear, and hidden truths. I didn’t know exactly what it wanted to tell me, but my gut twisted. None of this felt right.
“Let’s go,” Rio said, guiding me toward the car.
Enzo gave me a small wave before turning away. And as we approached the car, Rio opened the back door and helped me inside. But when he leaned in to close it, I caught a glimpse of his eye. The lens slipped. His eyes were not blue anymore. They were jade green, almost the same shade as mine.
That was not Rio.
My chest tightened. I reached for the handle, wanting to run back to the house, but the door was already locked. I slammed my hand against the window, screaming for Enzo. My voice cracked as I tried to get his attention.
The man slid into the front seat. He didn’t look at me. He just reached into his jacket, pulled out a syringe, and stabbed it into my neck. My body weakened instantly.
“You are not,” I whispered, still banging on the glass with the last of my strength.
Somewhere between the hits, Enzo finally turned around. But it was too late. He ran after the car, shouting my name, and the man drove faster.
“You belong to the Crows now,” the man laughed.
As my eyes closed, that was the last thing I heard.
I failed myself again. Instead of chasing love, I could have chased myself. But maybe this was not a story about a brave heroine saving herself. Maybe my time had not come yet.
Maybe, in the end, we all get what comes for us. For some, it is a dream. For some, it is a nightmare. For some, it is someone.
Before you trust again, look back. Because when you think you know a person, you might not know them at all.
And everything will crumble and fall. Things that are not meant to be never last. And what you see isn’t always as it seems.
Open your eyes, life is not a dream within a dream.
To be continued...