29. Kaz
I wokeup with a pounding migraine. The pain is so intense that I struggle to remain upright, my vision blurring intermittently. My temples throb from within, making it impossible to think clearly. I only managed to sleep for half an hour. I stare at the food on my plate, but my stomach protests. Domenico went to the mansion to change and ensure nothing had gone wrong.
Before I see her, I hear Caelia’s footsteps. She enters the kitchen as if she were a ghost, tiptoeing silently. Our eyes meet, but neither of us speaks. She’s wearing one of my black T-shirts that she must have taken from the closet, and all I can think about is spreading her on the kitchen table and fucking some sense back into her. I own her. Caelia is mine, whether she wants to admit it or not. She can resist it. She can deny it. But she is mine.
“Good morning,” I say, taking the high road as she approaches the fridge without uttering a word.
No answer. She’s so damn stubborn. I don’t trust her. Not her specifically. I don’t trust anyone completely. This is one of my biggest problems. I don’t trust anyone in this life. It’s a trait I inherited from my father. He always said that a woman could make or break a man, something my uncle dismissed with an eye roll.
“Are you sure this is how you want to handle things, Wildfire?”
I rise from my seat, closing the distance between us as she remains unaware. She glances over her shoulder a second too late. I spin her around, slamming the fridge door shut behind her, and trap her with my body.
“How can I say this nicely, Mattia? Go. Fuck. Yourself!”
I remind myself that I am not him as the urge to possess her consumes me. I refuse to press her against the kitchen counter and force myself on her. She has endured enough of that. Perhaps nothing between us over the past few months was genuine, but I never coerced her into anything. I even warned her from the start. I warned her to stay away from me. She played her part well. She wanted more than just biding time to escape. No, she wanted to prove to me that our marriage could have worked if Mattia had given her a chance, and I fell for it—my mistake.
“We can still fix this, Wildfire. We can talk about it.”
I want to trust her, but she’s so fucking unstable. I was right. She’s a wildcard; she”s always two steps ahead of me, only because I have been too distracted by her pussy. But she put things into a new perspective last night. She made me reconsider everything she has said and done since I entered her life. And now I understand her game.
She wants to hurt Mattia before she packs up her things and leaves. She wants him to fall for her before she escapes. It might work, but she won’t be playing him. She will be playing me, and I won’t allow it. She’s confused by the emotions between us, and she’s not as strong as she thinks. She falters sometimes, revealing parts of herself that she never intended to show.
I could tell her I know, to witness her reaction. I could tell her I’m falling for her to validate her plan. I could attempt to make things work again.
But something became painfully clear to me last night.
She will never forgive Mattia. And even if she feels something for me, she will never stay by my side as long as she believes I am him. I’m partly to blame. I can’t blame her for wanting to get out of the life she had. But the life I’m willing to give her differs from that. We have shared so much. And she will throw all of that away for her revenge. I know a thing or two about revenge. It has been the purpose of my entire life. It’s challenging to see things in a new light.
My patience wears thin. She remains silent, gazing at me as if she doesn’t recognize me. In an instant, we have returned to being strangers. Despite everything, here we stand.
“I will give you one more chance to make this right, baby. One chance, and then I’m done.”
I don’t blame her for anything. This obsession is my burden, not hers. I should have left her alone. Perhaps she would have been confused about Mattia’s sudden change of heart, but it would have been better than this. Now I know what it’s like to kiss her, to be inside her. I could identify the sound of her laughter in a crowded room.
Caelia places her palms against my chest, attempting to push me away. I don’t budge an inch.
“Haven’t I taught you better than that, Wildfire?”
I want this to hurt so I can let her go.
Anger flares in her green eyes. I see it coming. I’m prepared for it. She punches me in the nose, her knee aiming for my groin but missing, striking my stomach instead. The damage is minimal. I don’t know what the hell is going on inside her head. We argued. It’s not something we can’t fix. If only she would speak to me. She rushes toward the kitchen aisle, but I am right behind her. Grasping her hair, I slam her body against the marble countertop, my hand pressing down on her shoulder blades. She releases a startled gasp, gripping my wrist with both hands and attempting to twist my arm and slip free, just as I taught her. A smile tugs at my lips, realizing that our lessons were not in vain. I taught her well. But it won’t work now. I expect her to fight back. I’m ready for her. Strengthening my grip, I lean over her, my hand at the back of her neck, pinning her to the table. I cover her mouth with my palm while my other hand deprives her of air.
“What are you doing?” she mumbles against my hand.
“Shh,” I hush her. “Isn’t this what you want? How you want things to be?”
“Mattia, stop.”
Fuck Mattia. He’s not in this room right now, and if he were, I would tie him to a chair and force him to watch as I fuck his wife.
“No, I don’t think I will.” Does she think that how Mattia treated her is better than how I treated her? “You want to go back to how things were?” I whisper in her ear. Goosebumps erupt across her skin as I shift, placing my hand on the nape of her neck and holding her captive against the table. I part her legs with my knee, using my free hand to unbutton my jeans. She’s wearing my boxers, and the sight is sweet, but it doesn’t matter. “You seem to forget something.”
I lower my hand so she can speak.
“What am I forgetting?”
Her voice hints at panic, though she tries her best to conceal it. She’s afraid, and she should be. She should have considered the words that left her mouth.
“You’re my property, Caelia. You belong to me.”
I slide her underwear down her thighs. I swallow hard, biting my tongue until I taste blood. I want her in the worst way. Her taste, her scent, and her skin against mine. But not like this. I never wanted her like this. There’s nothing gentle in overpowering her, thrusting inside her with a motion that sickens me. She stops breathing. Her knees give way.
“My body may belong to you?—”
“But I’ll never have your heart?” I interrupt. “What good is your heart to me when I can fuck you whenever I want? Your pussy belongs to me, Wildfire. Your body is mine. I don’t need your heart to break you.”
This sin is my one-way ticket to hell. I don’t know how to make her see that she didn’t mean what she said. She doesn’t think that what she had with Mattia was better. But I’m tired, can’t think straight, and I am running out of patience with her. I have given her everything. Tomorrow, I will think back on this and realize where I failed. But at this moment, my mind is set on breaking her. She digs her fingernails into the hand I keep at the back of her head to keep her still. She scratches me as hard as she can. Blood droplets erupt on my skin. Grabbing her waist with my free hand, I slam into her body ruthlessly.
I’m so tempted to press my fingers against her clit, to give her what she needs. But I don’t.
“Mattia, stop. Please. This is not what I meant.” She wiggles under my body, trying to fight me and break free.
Her skin is bruising where I’m digging my fingers into her flesh.
“No? You said that maybe we should return to how things used to be. You knew what to expect. You hate the confusion that comes from being treated with the respect you deserve.” I sneak my hand on her neck, drawing her body until her back is pinned to my chest. I cover her mouth with my palm, cutting off her air supply with the other. “You hate the confusion that comes with having everything you want. Everything you need.” I get tunnel vision. “The confusion which comes from having a husband who’ll stand by your side no matter what.” Her tears wash over my hand, hitting me in the gut. “Do you want me to be your villain? I’ll be your fucking villain, baby. Do you want to be fucked like a whore? I’ll fuck you like a whore.”
This is a fucking wreck, a damn disaster. There’s no pleasure in this for either of us. I release my grip around her neck only when her pulse slows too much. She leans forward, coughing violently. The only thing preventing her from collapsing onto the floor is my hand wrapped around her waist. She continues to cry in my arms, her body going limp. I don’t stop. She needs to learn this lesson, and I despise that she chose to learn it the hard way. I come inside her, finding no solace. As soon as I release her, she falls to the floor, resting her head against the aisle as I zip up my jeans. The house falls silent, akin to a graveyard.
“You’re going to stay here with Domenico,” I instruct her. “I have some business to take care of and won’t return for a while.”
I need to meet with Ermanno and call Dmitri to see if he has discovered anything. I don’t want her back at Mattia’s house in case it wasn’t an isolated attack and someone begins targeting the Benedetti family members one by one.
“Look at me when I talk to you, Caelia.”
She tilts her head, gazing upward. She hasn’t stopped crying, but she does it in silence. I have never seen her eyes look so haunted. So empty. Her eyelids flutter like she’s trying to prevent herself from blinking, fearing what will follow if she allows herself to close her eyes, even for a second.
“Whatever you need, ask Domenico. You will no longer have access to anything. Are we clear?”
She nods, submissive. The fire within her has been extinguished. This isn’t part of her lesson. I’m confining her because I’m afraid she will find a way to leave me when I’m not watching. She will slip past Domenico and vanish.
What the hell have I done?
It was real. This connection between us was real. I wouldn’t feel this twisting inside me otherwise. Maybe it wasn’t real for her, but it was for me. And I fucked everything up. A relationship that took us months to build. I went and fucked it up in a matter of minutes.