62. Caelia
I’ve been searchingall day for a word to describe Kazimir’s home, but I have no idea what it is. It’s somewhere between an estate and a palace fit for a tsar. As the car pulled in this morning, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the magnificent exterior of the building. Considering the intimidating armed men I’ve seen, it could also pass for a fortress.
Perched atop a hill, the estate overlooks a lush forest. Its exterior is adorned with intricate ornaments, constructed from a dark red stone, and crowned with a roof of black tiles. Towering ancient spires reach toward the sky.
“Aren’t you going to give me a tour?” I ask.
“I brought you here safely, Caelia. I’m not your tour guide.”
I knew this was a bad idea. Right now, I’m only teasing Vanya, whom I found resting in one room, reclining on the couch. We arrived here earlier today, and I’ve been given free rein to explore the grounds as long as I don’t attempt to leave. I’ve covered as much ground as possible, but exhaustion sets in. There are two gardens outside, bright with an array of vibrant flowers and dappled with various trees. Cobblestone pathways wind through the gardens. The interior is surreal, with high arched ceilings and ornate crystal chandeliers. The walls are adorned with paintings and tapestries depicting tales from a bygone era. The floors are polished marble, and the furniture exudes a dark, antique charm. A grand dining hall has a large mahogany table at its center.
Vanya showed me to Kaz’s room. I suppose it will be my bedroom for the next six months. In the middle of the room stands a four-poster bed draped in black silk. There’s a walk-in closet, a bathroom lined with dark and gold marble, and a spacious bathtub in the center. It’s a luxurious paradise overall. I would never have left this place or assumed a false identity in a foreign country, not even for revenge. I wonder how long it will take for it to become my hell.
Ignoring Vanya’s sour mood, I sit in the armchair across from the couch. He’s quiet, but the silence surrounding him makes the air suffocating. It makes everything uncomfortable. I understand that he’s a vital part of Kaz’s life. That’s the only reason I’m willing to find a compromise with him. I don’t want to spend the rest of my time here fighting with him.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I decide it’s best to be blunt.
He sits up, leans forward, and rests his elbows on his knees. His piercing blue eyes bore into mine, sending a shiver down my spine.
“He put himself in danger because of you. He returned to find you, knowing my father was after him. And not only are you an ungrateful brat trying to escape at every opportunity, but you also stabbed him.”
“I thought he was Mattia. He never told me the truth.”
“If you had known who he was, would you have acted differently? Would you have backed down if he had been the only thing standing between you and your freedom?”
He has me cornered, and he knows it. A malicious smile curves across his lips as he watches me. I want to get along with him, honestly. But it’s hard to like someone who lacks a filter and hurls harsh truths at me.
“Probably not,” I admit. “But he was never forthcoming with the truth, so we’ll never know what I would or wouldn’t have done. Don’t blame me for this mess.” I shake my head. “I never asked him to come back for me. I didn’t even know who he was.”
“That’s the thing. You don’t have to ask him to do anything for you. He would do it anyway.”
“I’m not responsible for his actions or decisions. He’s an adult. He can choose what he wants to do, and we both know that neither of us can stop him.”
“I know about your deal.” He narrows his eyes. I’m not surprised that Kaz told him. We may need to put on a convincing act for everyone else, but his cousin would never fall for it. “You’re going to hurt him.”
I should’ve stayed in the bedroom. My head is spinning.
“We’re going to hurt each other. And there’s no avoiding it. I didn’t want to be here. I never asked for any of this. Your blame is misplaced.”
“You refuse to see what’s right in front of you, and that’s why I don’t particularly like you. He wants you here.”
“He wants me here for selfish reasons.” I’m slowly losing my patience. “He decided I was coming back with him without bothering to stop and ask how I felt about it.”
“How do you feel about it?”
Like I want to strangle someone. I need a moment to realize that his question is genuine. He’s not mocking me. Vanya might flash around this impenetrable attitude, but he cares about his cousin. There’s a soul somewhere beneath that six-foot, tattooed, muscular exterior.
I won’t be here long enough to make him accept me into his life. I’ll never truly be a part of this family, Kazimir’s family. But I don’t want to constantly look over my shoulder for the next six months. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I’m already dealing with enough by being here.
“Walk a mile in my shoes, then tell me how I feel, Ivan. Maybe nothing I say will make you accept me, and that’s fine. I don’t need your approval to be here. Your approval doesn’t matter either.” I laugh bitterly. “Believe it or not, I care about Kaz. And I’ll be a part of his life for the next six months—your life. Now, we can continue fighting or find a compromise.”
“I don’t compromise.”
His response doesn’t surprise me. I didn’t expect this to be easy. It’s frustrating. His eyes are devoid of life as they pierce deep into my soul, deliberately making me uncomfortable.
“Fine. Don’t compromise if that’s what you want.”
It’s a battle I won’t win today. I haven’t even decided if it’s a battle worth fighting. Standing up, I leave the living room. Kaz wanted to speak with his grandfather immediately after we arrived. I have mixed feelings. I wish he hadn’t, but I’m relieved he did. I can’t rely on him to make things easier for me. Nothing will make this easier for me.