Chapter Sixteen
London
I use the back of my hand to wipe the steam from the mirror. “You know I can’t tell you what I’m doing. They had me sign an NDA.”
Noah laughs. “Don’t tell me you’re a spy. Am I going to see you on the news going all James Bond on people’s asses?”
I force myself to chuckle. “I doubt that’ll happen.”
“Of course not. You’ll have to be discreet,” Noah replies. “I just can’t believe my girlfriend gets to be such a badass.”
I let my hand fall to my side and take a step back. “Not really. I’m just doing what I have to do.”
I hate that Noah is so upbeat and trusting about this.
How can he not see the truth?
Is he turning a blind eye on purpose because he knows the truth will spell doom for us?
I almost want him to expose me, so I won’t have to lie anymore. Having to tiptoe around the truth the past few weeks is exhausting, and weaving lie after lie is taking a toll on me. I’ve told so many lies, I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore.
All I know is that I miss Noah with a fierceness that surprises me.
I miss the comfort and familiarity of my old life.
I miss knowing what my day was going to look like, between tending to the diner with my dad during the day and spending nights in Noah’s arms.
The twisted feelings I have for Mason don’t mean anything.
They can’t.
I won’t let myself feel for him. He’s the reason my father is in this mess to begin with.
While I appreciate him coming to my rescue in keeping the creeps at bay and occasionally being kind, I can’t forget who he is and why I’m here.
Mason is domineering and arrogant. I’ve seen glimpses of the man behind the mask, but he is still my jailer. Being his favorite possession doesn’t make me any less of one.
I pray that his favor will extend even after he grows tired of waiting.
I dread the thought of having to put up with the club without his protection.
Are you sure that’s what this is about, and not about how you react around him? Every time he’s near you, you forget all about Noah.
I have a feeling Mason could make me forget my name.
But I won’t put myself in that position, not even to shave down my father’s debt.
My only chance of making it through this with some semblance of dignity intact is by steering clear of Mason, and him lurking around every corner is only making it harder.
I think he likes to keep me on my toes and guessing which version of him I’m going to get.
“…I wish you could’ve been there,” Noah finishes, the sound of cupboards opening and closing in the background. “Maybe we can video chat at some point. I’ve got a work dinner coming up, and I’ve been talking about you so much, I think they’re starting to wonder if you’re real.”
I swallow. “We can set something up, yeah, but I’m not sure about the connection.”
I also don’t want him to see my face.
Noah might buy the story I fed him for now, but one look at the bags under my eyes, and he’ll know something is up.
“We’ll make it work.” Noah’s voice is reassuring. “I miss you. I miss holding you, and I miss kissing you.”
I count backward from five before I answer. “I miss you, too. You have no idea how hard it is to be away from you.”
“Just make sure you don’t go falling in love with tall, dark, handsome strangers, okay?”
I wince and step out of the bathroom, a thin mist following me into the room. “Of course not. You know I wouldn’t do that.”
Not on purpose, anyway.
I’m sorry, Noah. I’m so sorry you wound up with such a shitty girlfriend. You deserve better.
“I was kidding, Lo. You don’t need to sound so serious about it.”
I clutch the phone tighter and perch on the edge of the bed. “You know I would never hurt you on purpose, right? I’m so grateful for you and what we have. No matter what happens, I… you have to know that.”
Noah is quiet for so long that I think he’s hung up.
I let my towel fall to the floor and turn the phone on speaker. “Are you still there?”
“Lo…” Noah’s voice sounds serious now. “Are you sure you’re okay? They’re not working you too hard, are they? I can give them a piece of my mind if you want.”
I picture Noah trying to get through to Carlisle, and the thought almost makes me smile.
Until the image shifts, and I see Carlisle putting a gun to Noah’s head.
“I’m okay,” I say. “It’s just a lot of work, and it’s pretty competitive out here.”
“I can imagine, but you’re going to do great.”
I pull a hoodie and sweatpants on and run a hand through my hair. “I’m trying. I’m glad your work is going so well, and I’m sorry I’m not there to celebrate with you. Hopefully, I will be able to soon.”
“I can’t wait for you to get back. It feels like it’s been forever.”
“You have no idea.” I pause to gather my hair into a ponytail. “Anyway, how’s everything else? Have you had the chance to check in on my dad?”
“Of course. I stop by to see him every day, and we have dinner together. He really misses you.”
A lump rises in my throat. “I miss him, too.”
“Oh, you remember that pitch I was telling you about? I had the meeting the other day, and…”
I don’t hear anything else Noah says.
I spend the rest of the phone call alternating between staring at the clock on the wall and pacing around my room. On my fifth turn, I stop and exhale. Then, I glance out the window and frown at the pulsing lights in the distance.
Suddenly, the time I still have left to pay off my father’s debt seems impossibly long.
I want it all to end, so I can go back to my old life.
By the time Noah hangs up, I’ve got a lump in my throat. I’m rubbing my temples in slow, circular motions when my father’s name lights up my phone screen. I consider letting it go to voicemail, but then I steel myself and answer.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, sweetheart. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to answer.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Yeah, sorry. I was in the middle of something. It’s not important. Anyway, how are you? Noah was just telling me that you guys have dinner together every day.”
“He’s a good man. I appreciate him checking in, but I don’t need a babysitter.”
I frown. “It’s not about babysitting, Dad. I know you like to do things your way, but having Noah there makes me feel better. I thought you loved spending time with him.”
He sighs, and I hear the defeat in his voice. “I do, but it doesn’t make up for you not being here.”
My heart twists. “I know, but it’s only temporary. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Will you? I’m starting to think I should’ve tried harder to stop you.”
“Dad…”
“What kind of job demands you leave right away without a chance to pack? And what about the kind of money they’re paying you?”
My palms begin to sweat. “Dad, we talked about this already. I…”
“No, we didn’t. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that whenever I bring it up, you change the subject.”
“I told you I signed an NDA,” I reply weakly. “It’s a really competitive job, and there’s a lot of security clearance required, so I’m not even supposed to bring it up now.”
Silence stretches between us.
I clear my throat. “It’s good money, Dad, and I’m fine. Really.”
We both know I’m lying. I just can’t bring myself to tell him what I’ve had to do to get him off the hook.
Even if I could confide in him, it won’t do either of us any good.
“I know you think I’m a paranoid old man, and that you’re old enough to make your own decisions, but I have the right to worry about you, London. I also wouldn’t be a good father if I didn’t point out how strange this all is.”
I clear my throat. “I know, but let’s just be thankful, okay? It could’ve been a lot worse.”
I wish he didn’t make it so hard to talk to him.
Why can’t he just believe me like Noah does?
“I think you should come home. Whatever is going on, we can figure it out together.”
“Dad.” My voice rises a little. “I’ve already signed the NDA, and I can’t breach my contract without getting into a lot of trouble. Listen, I’ve got to go, okay? I’ve got a work dinner thing.”
Neither of us says anything for a while.
We end the call on a terse note, and the knots in my stomach have hardened into something cold and pliable. The sick feeling stays with me through the night as I toss and turn and try to escape the image of Mason in my dreams.
When the first patches of golden light stream through my window, there’s a tingling sensation between my legs and rivulets of sweat sliding down my back.
I don’t like knowing that Mason has this kind of hold on me. I can’t even get away from him in my dreams.
In the bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror and forget about my dreams and how having Mason’s hands all over me was electric.
How his mouth felt against my bare skin.
With a frown, I switch on the water and leave my clothes in a heap on the floor.
I spend a few extra minutes under the shower, shaking off the unease.
By the time I step out, I’m almost convinced I’ve gotten Mason out of my system.
I try not to think about running into him as I pull on my clothes and stuff my uniform into a backpack.
On my walk to the mansion, I feel the heat of the sun on the back of my neck and press my lips together.
The security guards posted give me a brief nod and let me pass.
No one looks up when I walk in.
I hurry across the empty floor to the elevators in the back and drum my fingers against my thighs.
The elevators smell like sweat and heavy perfume.
When the doors open, I spot Mason across the room, engaged in conversation with a man with bulging arms and a buzzcut, and my heart does an odd little somersault.
It’s just lust. Get a grip, London. Focus.
I feel his eyes on me as I stalk past toward the locker room. Miss Deveroux is applying lipstick in a mirror. She offers me a smile before sauntering off. When I come back out to the main floor, my nerves are steadier, and I walk past Mason without faltering.
I’m repeating the same mantra in my head when I reach Miss Deveroux, and she gives me a knowing look.
“What?”