Chapter Twenty-Nine
London
My heart is racing as I jolt awake. I lick my lips as my eyes dart around the room, wide and unfocused. Slowly, I run a hand over my face and blow out a deep breath. Then I let my hand fall to my side, and I blink, more of the room shifting into focus.
I notice a figure standing at the foot of my bed, still and unmoving.
I pull the covers up to my chin. “What are you doing?”
Mason shifts closer, his face half-hidden in the shadows. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.”
He moves around the side of the bed. My stomach dips when he stops in front of me and frowns. “I don’t think you are.”
I huff. “I know you like to play games with people and get inside their heads, but you can’t tell me how I feel. So, can you not?”
Mason kneels in front of me, and I notice his wrinkled clothing and unkempt hair. “I’m not telling you how to feel. I’m just…”
He trails off, and I sit up straighter, letting the covers fall. “You… are you worried about me?”
It feels ridiculous to say it out loud, but I have no other explanation for the way he’s acting.
Almost like he wants to hug me.
Mason frowns and shifts. “I don’t have the right to be—”
“I was worried about you,” I interrupt, the words pouring out of me in a rush. “I knew you were going to be okay, and they weren’t going to hurt you, but still.”
I have no idea why I’m telling him any of this when I swore I wouldn’t, but the air between us feels different, charged with some emotion I can’t identify.
Mason’s eyes sweep over my face and silence settles between us.
I blow out another breath, throw the covers off, and scoot closer.
Then I surprise both of us by patting the space next to me on the bed and giving him a small smile.
For the longest time, Mason crouches there, and I worry I’ve pushed too far.
Abruptly, he straightens his back, kicks off his shoes, and sits down.
Gently, I wrap my arms around him from behind, and he softens.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Mason admits gruffly. “I’ve never… it’s never been like this for me.”
I swallow and hold him tighter. “Me too.”
Mason shifts, and I drop my arms when he turns to face me, a glimmer of something unfamiliar in his eyes. “Not even with Noah?”
I hold his gaze and shake my head. “Not even Noah. There has always been something here, and I didn’t know what it was.”
Until I met Mason, I didn’t even know it existed.
Mason’s stormy eyes move over me, wide and watchful. “When they took you, I wanted to burn everything to the ground. I would have, too.”
I search his face, and my breath hitches. “Mason, I can’t… we can’t do this. I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but…”
Mason cups my face in his hands and draws his face closer. “I know. I know all the fucking reasons, London. I’ve spent the past few weeks reminding myself.”
“And?”
Mason traces my jaw and then moves his thumb to my lips. “I don’t give a shit.”
I exhale, sharply. “Mason, I…”
He draws back to look at me. “So help me God. If you’re about to deny this, I will throw you over my knee and spank you.”
My lips turn up into a smile. “You really know how to talk to women, don’t you?”
Mason grunts and doesn’t reply.
I inch closer and reach for his hand, and something in me melts further when he lets me hold it. “I’m not going to deny it. I don’t want to.”
The air between us is thick as we sit there in the darkness, clinging to each other for dear life. I don’t know who reaches for whom first, only that our mouths are suddenly colliding, hot and eager and hungry.
It’s searing, it’s heady, and it feels like I’m hurtling toward the edge.
Mason threads his fingers through my hair and yanks, sending little pinpricks of pain over my scalp. I moan and climb onto his lap. His hands move from my hair to my waist, and a wave of emotion rises within me, threatening to drown out everything else.
He nips my lower lip, and my mouth parts, allowing him access.
I pour every ounce of emotion I can into the kiss, hoping to soothe away his worries, and Mason responds in kind.
I want to lose myself in him and stay there.
I want to forget who we are, and the world outside our door.
When Mason’s hands dip beneath my clothes and he touches my skin, everything else ceases to exist.
Time stops as he moves back and pulls my shirt over my head.
I fumble with the buttons on his shirt and let out a litany of curse words. Mason chuckles and takes my hands in his. In one quick move, he removes his shirt, and it flutters to the floor, revealing tanned skin and smooth, taut muscles. He inches closer and peppers me with hot, open-mouthed kisses.
“You’re mine, London,” Mason whispers, a prayer and a plea rolled into one. “Only mine.”
I throw my head back and lock my legs around him. “I’m yours.”
Mason stops kissing me, and I stare at him through hooded eyes. “What?”
He takes my hand and places it on his chest over the thundering of his heart. “This… all of this… it’s only for you.”
My heart swells.
Slowly, I nod. When my mouth finds his, it’s gentler and more sensual. Mason frames my face in his hands, almost as if he’s afraid I’m going to slip away. Together, we fall backward onto the bed, his body covering mine. I run my hands down his back and pause at his backside.
I give it a firm squeeze, and Mason makes a guttural sound in his throat.
Suddenly, he leans back and stands up. He holds his hand out to me and waits. Without thinking, I slip my hand into his and allow him to pull me to my feet. He half drags, half carries me out of the guest room. In silence, we creep down the hallway, and I’ve never been more aroused or excited.
He stops outside a door, pats his pocket, and takes out a set of keys.
The door swings open to reveal a room with gray walls, a plush red carpet, and various equipment scattered throughout. Wordlessly, Mason leads me into the room and kicks the door shut behind us. I sink onto one of the benches, and my eyes dart around, taking it all in.
When I move back to his face, he’s watching me with an indecipherable expression. “This is my playroom.”
I stand. “Yes.”
Mason raises an eyebrow. “I haven’t even asked.”
I step in front of him and push myself up on the tips of my toes to kiss him. “I know what you’re going to ask, and my answer is yes. I want to try… with you.”
Mason studies me. “You need a safe word.”
“I won’t need it,” I reply. “I’m ready.”
Everything has built up to this moment between us, and I can feel the second it all falls away. Mason pulls me to him and hoists me into the air. I wrap my legs around his waist as he sinks his teeth into my neck. Waves of pain and pleasure rise within me as he carries me to the bed.
He sets me on the mattress and pauses to rummage through a drawer, returning with a pair of handcuffs and a whip.
I swallow as he cuffs my hands together and runs the whip over my bare, tingling skin. “Mercy is the safe word.”
I shake my head. “I don’t—”
Mason presses a finger to my lips, and his expression darkens. “You’ll use it if you need to. We’re just getting started, London. You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now, and all the ways I want to, but you need to know what you’re getting into.”
I nod.
Mason removes his finger and takes a step back. “You need to say it.”
“Okay.”
Mason pulls me to my feet and spins me around.
He turns me around so my back is pressed against his front, and I feel his bulge pressing against me.
Then, he runs the whip over my skin again and goosebumps break out across my flesh.
His breathing changes as he takes a step back, and I hear the whip a second before I feel it.
I wince, a moan falling from my lips.
Mason grips the back of my head and pulls my hair. “You’ll never run away from me again.”
“I won’t.” I squirm. “Never.”
Mason pulls harder and smacks my ass hard. “The next time you do, I’m going to take you over my knee.”
I gasp when he rubs himself against me. “Yes.”
Mason nudges me forward so my knees hit the front of the bed. Then he pushes, so I’m kneeling against the bed with my ass hanging in the air. The handcuffs dig into my skin, but it is intoxicating to know he’s the only one with the keys.
He has control over me, and it makes me want him even more.
Mason’s hand reaches between us to tug on my nipples. He rolls them between his fingers while he moves against me. I twist and writhe, but he grips the back of my neck to keep me in place. Then, without warning, he thrusts into me from behind, and I cry out, squeezing my eyes shut.
He eases out and thrusts back into me, harder than before.
“I will rip apart anyone who tries to hurt you.” Mason’s breath is hot against my back. “No one will ever come near you again.”
I whimper when he pushes my face forward so it’s pressed against the mattress.
“This is just the beginning,” Mason says thickly, his words dripping with hunger and desire. “We’re just getting started. Do you understand?”
I moan.
Mason stops thrusting and pulls me up. “I finally have you, London. There’s no escaping now.”
“Yes.” I force the word out, my chest and stomach tight with an emotion I can’t identify. “I don’t want to escape.”
“I can’t hear you.”
I lift my head up and face him. “You win. You’ve got me.”
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
What’s the point in denying it when I wanted him to catch me?
We’ve been chasing each this whole time, and the realization makes me want him even more.
Mason makes a guttural sound as he thrusts back into me.
I squeeze my eyes shut and tune everything else out.
With each thrust, Mason tears down the walls between us, pushing us closer and closer to the edge of oblivion. He uses the whip a few times and alternates between pulling my hair and nipping my skin, and I wonder if it’s possible to explode into a million pieces.
I’ve never felt more alive.
My release looms closer and closer until I cry out, and my body shakes.
I’m still shaking and riding out my high when Mason nudges my legs farther apart and unlocks my handcuffs.
He laces his fingers through mine and continues to grunt, the sound like music to my ears.
Suddenly, I’m falling again, hurtling toward the edge as ripples of pleasure rip through me.
When I blink, I’m on my back and Mason is over me.
He pins my arms on either side of me and lifts my legs over his shoulders.
Then, he eases in and out of me with slow, practiced strokes.
Little by little, his movements change, becoming wild and frantic.
As he starts chanting my name, I turn my head to the side and exhale.
I’m still shaking and trying to force air back into my lungs when I feel Mason’s mouth on my nipples.
He moves between the two, licking and biting until his release comes.
In a few quick thrusts, Mason comes undone.
Once he stops shaking, he stays on top of me, letting my legs fall against the mattress.
Then, he presses his forehead to mine and breathes deeply.
I have no idea how long we stay like that, trapped in our own bubble, existing outside of time and space.
But when he shifts, and I feel a draft of cold air between us, a hard knot settles in my stomach.
I turn onto my side to watch as he sits on the edge of the bed and leans over.
Slowly, he turns to face me, and the look on his face makes something in me melt.
Wordlessly, Mason snaps his boxers back on and throws the covers away.
He drapes an arm over my shoulders and tucks me into his side as tears prick my eyes.
I curl against him and sigh, my body going slack.
Don’t get your hopes up. Having feelings for each other doesn’t mean any of this will be easy. It doesn’t change who he is.
But I already know that everything has changed for me.
Mason releases a deep breath. “You realize there’s no going back?”
I lift my head to look at him. “I know.”
Mason’s eyes are softer now, and more open. “Do you?”
I nod and sit up straighter. “I do. Mason, I… before you, I didn’t know that this…” I make a vague hand gesture, “any of this was possible.”
Mason raises an eyebrow. “And now you think you couldn’t possibly go back.”
I hold his gaze. “There is no going back. Not for me, at least.”
For the first time in a long time, I feel I’m where I’m supposed to be, and with who I’m supposed to be.
It feels like I’m opening my eyes and seeing myself clearly.
Not through anyone’s lens but my own.
It seems fitting that Mason was the one to unlock this side of me.
I’m still clinging to the belief that I could go back to the comfort and familiarity of my old life and start over, but I push that voice to the back of my mind.
“I know what I want,” I add, my voice stronger now. “Maybe that’s crazy to you, but it all makes sense…”
Mason’s eyes move over my face, and he doesn’t say anything.
Finally, he squeezes my shoulders and looks away. “It shouldn’t make sense, but it does…at least to me. You make sense to me.”
I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.
I’m not sure he can.
At least I know we’re navigating this unfamiliar terrain together.
I lower myself back onto the mattress and look up at him. “What happens next?”
Mason’s grip tightens, and a shadow settles over his face. “Now, I have to figure out how to make them pay for taking you.”
I swallow. “That’s bad, isn’t it? Aren’t they meant to be your allies?”
Mason lets out a humorless chuckle. “I’d say that ended the minute they went after you. I’ll figure out a way to make them pay without making things worse.”
I frown. “Is there a way to do that?”
Mason blinks and looks at me. “That’s not something you should worry about. I’ll take care of it. No one will ever lay another fucking hand on you, London.”
I want to tell Mason not to do anything, to leave it alone, but I know better.
This isn’t my world, but I’d be an idiot to think what they did should be taken lightly.
Mason won’t see things the same way I do, nor can I expect him to.
All I can hope for is that, when the smoke clears, there’s something left for us to rebuild.