31
Salem
Photos of the Dead
E arly the following morning, as the first rays of the sun peeked between the trees, Rayne drove me through the snow to Andy’s farm.
The freshly fallen powder crunched beneath our boots as we walked up the driveway toward his two-story farmhouse, chickens clucking and goats bleating from the nearby barn.
“Mornin’, Rayne. Mornin’, Miss Lockard.” Andy was already up and about, and waved a gloved hand at us from the veranda, a steaming mug perched on the railing beside him. “Coffee is in the pot if ya need it. I can take your bag there...”
“I got her.” Rayne smiled as she hoisted my bag over her shoulder and led me inside, Loki following behind us.
The interior was delightfully warm, and Loki quickly settled by a wood-burning stove near the couch.
Children’s books and toys were scattered across the floor, and there was a half-finished puzzle on the kitchen table.
To judge by how quiet the house was, Rebecca and Rachel were still asleep.
“Got everything you need?” Andy said as Rayne and I reemerged. Rayne patted the large backback she carried and nodded. “You’re taking a gun, yeah? You got ammo?”
“I got enough to get by,” she said, but the answer didn’t satisfy him and he traipsed inside. He returned minutes later with a box of .45s.
“That should do it,” he said, patting her shoulder. “You be safe out there.”
“I’ll try to be back by tomorrow night,” she said. I’d been doing my best to hold my emotions in check, but the moment she turned to me, the struggle to hold in my tears made me hiccup.
She embraced me, tucking my head beneath her chin. I tried not to cry, and when that didn’t work, I at least managed to cry silently.
“I’ll be okay,” she said. “I promise. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll miss you,” I said. She drew back, just enough to press her forehead to mine.
“I’ll miss you too. Just a couple days. That’s it. Then I’ll be back.” She kissed my cheek, and whispered close to my ear, “I’ve got your pictures in my pocket. I’m going to keep them by my bed and think of you.”
I hurriedly wiped my face, the tears already freezing on my cheeks. She kissed my mouth, holding my face in her gloved hands.
All too soon, she was gone, walking away back toward the ATV, then disappearing into the forest.
Andy wanted to treat me like a guest, but I insisted he put me to work. I needed my hands busy and my brain distracted, otherwise my anxiousness over Rayne’s absence was going to eat me alive.
We fed the chickens and put down fresh straw for the goats.
When the girls finally woke up, I took Loki for a walk around the property while Andy prepared breakfast. Rebecca and Rachel were ecstatic to have company, but I was struggling to keep myself in a happy mood.
All I could think of was Rayne, alone on her journey to the northern tip of the island.
At the least, she’d told me there was a radio there, so I’d have a way to contact her.
It was freezing outside, so I couldn’t stay out there forever.
Eventually, I had to put on my happy mask and go inside.
I forced myself to eat the bacon and pancakes Andy had prepared, despite my nervous stomach’s protests.
Rebecca and Rachel were eager to talk; Rachel kept bringing various toys to show me, while Rebecca wanted to hear all about the mainland.
They were sweet kids, and I wished I had more energy to entertain them. My worry was a constant distraction, an itch in the back of my brain, especially when the wind began to blow and the snow started falling.
The day passed slowly. I helped Andy as much as I could, although he insisted I didn’t need to.
I helped Rebecca with her vocabulary worksheet, and read a storybook to Rachel when it was time for her nap.
All the while, the wind and snow howled outside.
By evening, Loki was sitting expectantly at the front door, even though he’d already been let out to relieve himself.
“She’s not coming back tonight, boy,” I said. He looked at me for a long moment, took one last forlorn look at the door, then returned to his spot in front of the fire.
Andy ushered the girls upstairs for “quiet reading time,” and I was left alone.
The soft, cushy couch had been made up as a bed with comfortable pillows, and the fireplace kept it warm.
The farmhouse creaked in the wind, but it didn’t have the ominous feeling of Balfour Manor. I didn’t feel watched.
Swirls of snow drifted down outside, the windows frosted with ice.
The sun had nearly set, and the growing darkness made my heart pound painfully in my chest. Rayne had assured me that Andy was well armed; all the windows were barred, and the front door was equipped with a thick bolt lock.
But it wasn’t my own safety I was worried about.
Andy had shown me around, so I knew his CB radio was located down the narrow hallway, in his office.
I shuffled inside, partially closing the door so I wouldn’t disturb the girls upstairs.
I curled up in the chair behind the desk, the old springs creaking beneath me.
Loki lay down at my feet; he’d been glued to my side since we arrived.
I tuned the radio’s channel to the station for the northern firewatch tower and picked up the mic.
“Rayne?” I said softly. “You there?”
My heart pounded sickeningly hard as I waited for a response.
“Hey, pretty girl.”
My sprinting heart leapt into my throat at the sound of her voice. “I miss you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
I could hear the smile in her voice. “I’m all good. I have a fire going in the stove, keeping it really toasty in here. I’m wrapped up in my favorite crocheted blanket. Even got some instant hot cocoa.”
I snickered. “With the mini marshmallows?”
“Of course. I’m sure Andy has some there at the house too.”
“The floor is too cold to walk to the kitchen,” I said, sighing dramatically.
“Tell you what, I’ll hike back real quick and make it for you.”
My eyes stung. I truly was exhausted, to be moved to tears so easily by the thought of her coming back.
What if she never came back? What if she fell from the cell tower, or the beast found her, or—
“Salem, are you still there?”
“Yeah! Yeah, I’m—” I cleared my throat. “Sorry, I’m a little tired. Was the trip out there okay?”
“Not too bad. It was quiet and cold,” she said. “Almost peaceful. There’s a helluva lot of snow, but I can see the issue with the tower. There’s debris caught on it, but it should be easy enough to remove.”
“Oh, good, yeah, that’s good...”
Childish laughter came from the upper floor, then Andy’s loud guffaw. The sounds of a happy household surrounded me, but I felt so lonely.
“Are you okay, Salem?” Rayne’s voice was tender, and it wrapped around me like an embrace.
“I’m anxious,” I said. “There’s a pit in my stomach. I’m just... I’m afraid.”
She was in far more danger than I. I felt silly for complaining, but these feelings consumed every part of me.
Like a monster, anxiety waited in every dark corner of my brain, in every unknown, in every painful memory.
It lurked in dangers both very real and imagined.
It dredged up every worry, made it into a neon sign, and plastered it at the front of my brain.
“I understand, baby. I don’t blame you. It’s a scary fucking world. But I’ve got you. I may not be there with you right now, but I promise, I’ll drop everything and come back to you the second you need me.”
Her words surprised me so much that I fell silent for several moments. Equal parts guilt and joy made my watery eyes overflow, and I quickly wiped my cheeks.
“Hey. Did you hear me?”
“I heard you,” I whispered, so she wouldn’t hear the words shake. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m happy to do it, Salem.
I want to...” Her voice faded away for a few moments, and I waited with bated breath.
“I want to be there for you. This whole situation is so fucked up, but having you here...” She trailed off again.
“I should be saying this to you in person. Guess I’m too much of a coward. ”
“You’re not a coward,” I said. I held the microphone close to my ear and closed my eyes, almost able to imagine that she was there beside me.
“You gave me hope again, Salem. Who knows if anything will change? But I’ve been alone for a long time, and after a while, you lose sight of what you’re fighting for.”
“Did you find it again?” I said. “The thing you’re fighting for?”
“No, not again. But for the first time, yes. I have something to fight for now.”
I fell asleep curled up in the chair with the radio in my hand. At some point, Andy came in and draped a blanket over me, so I didn’t shiver too much during the long night.
When I woke in the morning, I let Loki out to do his business and watched him from the veranda.
An endless expanse of black clouds was gathered overhead, although the snow had stopped for now.
Puffy white drifts were piled against the barn, and I helped Andy clear them so we could give the animals their feed.
I popped a pill to keep myself calm, despite how drowsy it made me.
After feeding Loki and eating a late breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and toast, I returned to my mission of cataloging the junk we’d removed from the stone house before it was burned.
I’d only managed to stuff one small box into my backpack to bring with me, but it was enough to keep me occupied.
I spread out its contents on the desk in Andy’s office. There were dozens of childhood photos of Rayne, many of them weathered, stained, and faded from years of being poorly stored. Some of her and her mother, and some of Melanie Balfour alone, clearly self-taken.
Not a single photo of Picard. Not a shred of evidence he was even remotely involved with his own wife and child.