41
Salem
Our Fort
W hen I woke from my tormented sleep, Rayne and I left her uncle’s home. My heart was hammering just stepping outside; I was so anxious I kept stopping to dry heave as we walked. Rayne hovered over me, close at my side, comforting and encouraging me to keep going until we made it to the ATV.
The sun was shining but the air was still sharp with cold, and my entire body was trembling. I hugged close against Rayne’s back as she drove, and only felt a little relief when we passed through the gates of Balfour Manor.
Still, I started crying again when Rayne shut and locked the thick doors behind us.
Rayne held me, right there on the floor in the middle of the foyer. I couldn’t calm myself down; all my emotions, all my fear, had bubbled over. Again, we’d been only seconds, mere inches, away from death.
Rayne carried me up to bed, tucking me into her warm blankets. She gave me a pill and lay beside me, talking to me gently as I apologized for breaking down.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to apologize for.” She kept her arms around me as I shook, panic engulfing every part of me. My chest hurt; shots of adrenaline kept coming, as if my body couldn’t understand I was no longer being chased.
It seemed like an eternity before the pill began to work, blanketing my anxiety with a strange and uncomfortable numbness. My stomach still churned, but at least I stopped shaking. Exhaustion settled over me. My eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore.
When I woke the next morning, I was lying in bed alone.
Rayne’s empty pillow and flung-back blankets were the first things I saw, and my heart lurched into my throat so rapidly, I thought I might vomit.
Still half asleep, I attempted to guide my brain out of the fog of alarm, back to reality.
Like a dream, I had a faint memory of Rayne rising from bed that morning and giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek before she left the room.
She had only woken up before me; there was nothing to fear.
But her absence was like a cold needle through my heart.
Where was she? What was she doing? Was she safe?
Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I curled up and wrapped my arms around my head. The deep, awkward pressure was soothing somehow. The more I focused on my breath, the more I felt as if I might faint. But I reassured myself, again and again.
I was safe in bed.
Rayne was safe downstairs.
We were safe...
The memory of the angel bursting through the church window shattered my attempt to cope. Nothing was safe here. Maybe nothing would be safe again...
There was a jingle, and sudden pressure on the bed. I recognized Loki’s familiar snuffle before I opened my eyes, the dog’s big head right in my face, staring at me.
“Where’s your mama?” I said softly, scratching his fluffy chest. He licked my hand and, to my surprise, lay down beside me with a heavy sigh.
I’d only ever seen him lie down when Rayne was nearby.
The fact that he felt assured enough to lie with me lifted a huge weight from my lungs, and I released a trembling breath.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” I whispered, burying my face against his fur. “I’m so afraid. I’m scared to die. I’m... fuck...” I muffled a sob against him, thankful for his big, warm body to cling to. “I’m so scared of losing her.”
For a while, I had to let the emotions out. I let myself feel the despair, the fear, all of it.
Then I took a deep breath. I sat up and wiped my face, and Loki looked at me with his deep brown eyes as he rested his head on my lap.
“We’ll just get through the day, won’t we?” I said, forcing my voice to be strong as I shoved myself out of bed. Everything shook. I felt like a wet, wrung-out rag. “One breath at a time.”
I took a shower. Moisturized my face. Ran my fingers through my hair and lamented how shaggy it had gotten. Loki stayed with me all the while, guarding me like he usually guarded Rayne. When I finally left the room, we went together downstairs toward the dining room.
Sunlight peeked through the boarded windows. There was birdsong in the garden. The kitchen had already been used; the room was warmly scented with butter, vanilla, cinnamon, and coffee.
Music was playing softly somewhere nearby. Leaving the dining room, I followed its sound into the lounge.
But the room had been transformed.
Blankets, pillows, and chairs had been heaped into a soft, glowing castle. Stevie Nicks was playing from a Bluetooth speaker placed near the castle entrance, from which Rayne was just emerging.
She smiled shyly when she saw me and it set my heart fluttering.
“Good morning,” she said. Her loose white T-shirt teased me with the stark outline of her breasts, and I almost melted when she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. “How are you? Feeling okay?”
“I’m okay.” I melted into her embrace. Just having her near me made it easier to breathe. She kissed my forehead, then both my cheeks, my nose—I was giggling by the time she reached my mouth.
“How long have you been working on this?” I said, marveling at the fort. “It’s incredible!”
“Just some blankets, pillows, and Christmas lights,” she said, and although she averted her eyes, I could hear the pride in her voice.
“Trying to get the Christmas boxes out of the attic without waking you up wasn’t easy.
But wait, wait.” She held up her hands excitedly, barely restraining a smile. “Close your eyes.”
I laughed, but did as she said. She grasped my hands and guided me a few steps forward, turned me, and said, “Okay, you can look.”
In front of the pillow fort was a breakfast spread, laid out like a picnic on a big knit blanket. Stacks of pancakes glistened with butter and syrup alongside bowls of fruit and whipped cream. Loki was staring at a plate of crispy bacon and fragrant sausage with longing.
My jaw almost unhinged when a glass of bubbling mimosa was thrust into my hand.
“Rayne, you... this is...”
“Do you like it?” She kissed my neck, gentle and slow. She looked soft and relaxed in her T-shirt and baggy jeans, and something about her serenity made my heart swell.
“I love it. I don’t even know what to say, I—”
“You don’t need to say anything, you need to eat,” she said, flopping down on a heap of pillows. “One benefit of owning a bed-and-breakfast is that I naturally have all the supplies for an epic pillow fort.”
She wasn’t kidding, and I desperately wanted to crawl inside and look around.
But my stomach was demanding food, so I happily dug in.
I heaped my pancakes with berries and cream and rolled them up to eat in my hand.
It made for a very messy plate, but it also made Rayne laugh, and I would gladly have sticky hands for a treat like that.
“How early did you wake up?” I insisted, nudging her with my elbow. “Be serious. This must have taken you hours!”
Rayne just shrugged. “I’ve always been an early riser. It didn’t take that long.”
But I knew. There were hours of work in this. Hours of care. Even when she was injured and should’ve been resting, she—
“Salem.”
Blinking rapidly, I looked up from my plate to find that Rayne had leaned close to me.
“You deserve all of this and more,” she said.
She touched my face, tracing her fingers along my jaw and then combing them through my hair.
“I wish it was more. I wish I could give you everything. I know this has been hard, but I’m.
.. part of me...” She sighed and held my face as she said, “I’m glad you’re here.
It’s so damn selfish to be happy about it, but I can’t help it.
I look forward to waking up now, just because I get to see your face. ”
For the second time that morning, she rendered me speechless.
“I wish I could take all your fear away,” she said. Her lips were close enough to brush mine as she spoke, and it somehow still wasn’t close enough. “I wish I could promise you safety. I’ll give you everything that’s mine to give...”
I shook my head, giggling quietly. “All I want is you.” Her eyes went wide, and wider still when I kissed her. “Just you.”
Plates of food forgotten, she pulled me into the shelter of our blanket fort.
We collapsed among heaped pillows, warmly lit by electric lanterns.
She kissed me all over, tugging up my clothing to caress my bare skin.
Her hair was still damp from showering, and I shivered and gasped when the cold strands trailed over me.
“You taste like syrup,” she said as she kissed me, licking her lips and grinning like a cat with her prize.
“So sweet.” Her tongue explored my lips, my mouth.
Lying on my back, with her above me, I wrapped my legs around her hips.
My breath hitched when she began to grind on me, her entire body moving in a slow rhythm.
She kissed my neck, her lips lingering on my skin, her breath warm and tickling.
A nibble at my earlobe sent a spark of sensations all the way down my spine.
Her fingers ignited goose bumps on my arms with her gentle touches.
She pulled off my shirt, smiling widely as she straightened up and looked at me, and I at her.
Her messy hair fell around her face. Her soft skin smelled like fresh soap. She looked like a dream, my safety in this nightmare.
To my surprise, she suddenly averted her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck. I laid my hand against her cheek and brought her back, her gaze like morning sunlight peeking through the trees.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured. Her cheeks flushed the most gorgeous shade of pink. “Ever since I first saw you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your eyes. Your smile. Your voice.”
“You don’t mean all that,” she whispered. I pulled her down to me, hands framing her face. I kissed her slowly, taking my time to appreciate her every breath, to savor the sweet softness of her lips.