Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Two hours later Houston and Josie were stepping back onto the beach and he was trying to unstick the words from the back of his throat.
I love you.
It wasn’t that hard to say. It wouldn’t hurt. She wouldn’t laugh. The sky wouldn’t split open and a tidal wave wouldn’t crash over his head.
But he still couldn’t seem to get his mouth to open and form the words.
Houston didn’t expect his family to still be at the beach since he had left them there at noon and it was six o’clock already.
Having spent the day having sex, sleeping, and eating an early dinner, time had slipped by.
But now there would be no distractions on the beach.
Just him, Josie, and the ocean. They could even hang around for a sunset.
Maybe by then his tongue would have dislodged from the roof of his mouth.
“You got that board okay?” she asked for the third time.
Houston knew it was Josie’s way of saying she was worried about him surfing again, without actually coming right out and saying it. He appreciated her concern, but he was glad she wasn’t listing all the reasons why he shouldn’t go in the water.
Because he didn’t really care if his hand was still numb and he really should put it back in the splint. He was free today, of the sutures, of the splint, and he wanted back in the water. The cool, murky blue water, where he could float and feel the surf roll over him, a soothing wet massage.
Josie should share that with him. It felt right.
“I got it.” He adjusted his board in his left hand, enjoying the familiar feel of it, and slowed down his gait to wait for Josie, who was breathing hard as she tried to keep up with him.
The beach was almost empty. His condo community was small—a number of the residents were seniors—and the beach was private.
He wouldn’t normally go there to surf, would head to the Inlet where the waves were.
But this was just to get back on the board.
For fun. And because he’d forgotten what normal was anymore.
At the edge of the water, where the sand was damp beneath his feet and the cry of the seagulls mournful, he stopped and rested his board in the sand. “I love the ocean.”
I love you.
The words stayed in his head.
He stared out towards the horizon, watching the sun radiate off the surface of the water, and caressed Josie’s hand. “It’s so powerful and majestic. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”
“Me, either. It’s so beautiful, so warm, like the sun will never stop shining.
” She took a few steps forward and let the water rush over her bare toes, then laughed.
“Of course, I guess the sun never will stop shining. It’s going to rise every day, east to west. I just meant when it looks like this, it’s hard to imagine that it’s ever raining or cloudy or cold. ”
Houston liked listening to her talk. Josie seemed to think out loud, like a perpetual stream of consciousness, and he enjoyed standing back and listening.
Josie suddenly jumped back away from the surf, the smile falling off her face, expression wary. “Isn’t this the time of day when sharks feed? And come in close to the shore? Is this where it happened?”
It honestly hadn’t occurred to Houston to be afraid to get back in the water, even though he knew firsthand what happened when man interfered with the shark and their natural instincts.
He figured odds were in his favor that he wouldn’t be the victim of a freak attack twice in one lifetime.
The ocean was a part of his life he wasn’t willing to give up.
“No, it was at the Inlet, where the surfing is better.”
He sank down onto the sand and patted the spot next to him.
When she started to bend at the knees to sit beside him, he pulled her so that she ended up in his lap.
Josie kicked off her dirty little sneakers and he debated wiggling his T-shirt off her himself or standing back and enjoying the show as she peeled it off.
Her arms wrapped around him, and there was fear on her face. “Are you sure you should go out there? What if it’s still hanging around? Sharks have a huge range they swim in.”
He wanted to laugh, but didn’t dare. “It wasn’t stalking me, Josie. I was out in his turf. I probably looked like a seal, and it was feeding time. He took one bite and let go. The shark was just a juvenile bull instead of full-grown, so it was probably the mistake of an inexperienced hunter.”
Josie leaned her head on his shoulder and shuddered. “Hunter. Yuck.”
He didn’t answer, just pulled her in closer to him until she was nestled against his chest, her hair tickling his chin.
A warm breeze danced around them, sending a fine spray of water over them.
It popped into his head that Josie’s time at Acadia Inlet was limited, and that when she was finished with reconstructive orthopedics, she would probably move on to another hospital.
He had never given any thought to the possibility of her leaving the area, not since they had become involved.
The idea of her moving out of his reach, where he couldn’t see her, hit him hard.
Hoping he sounded casual, knowing he probably sounded obvious as hell, he asked, “So, how long will you be at Acadia Inlet? Will you stay in the area?”
There was a moment of silence. “I’m not sure, but I’ll be staying around here. I don’t want to be more than fifty miles or so from my mother. I’m all she’s got. I’ll be doing pediatric ortho next, and I’m really looking forward to it.”
Relief made him kiss the top of her head. “Good plan.”
“Thanks.” Her fingers tickled his chest, played with the hairs there. “What about you? What are your plans?”
Hell if he knew. His gut reaction was to snap at her, tell her there were no plans but to get better. But Josie deserved better than that. She deserved the truth, and he needed to speak it out loud.
“I’ll tell you a secret, Josie, that I have trouble even admitting to myself.” Pulling in a tight breath, he stared off into the endless ocean. “I don’t know how to make plans because I’m afraid my thumb is never going to bend again. And I’m scared. I’m really damn scared.”
Josie felt tears prick her eyes again. Part sorrow for Houston, that he was facing an uncertain future, and part joy that he had confided in her something so personal and painful.
She stroked his chest, nuzzled her mouth in his neck. “I wouldn’t think you were normal if you weren’t scared.”
His breath expelled onto her head in a quick burst.
“And I’ll tell you a secret, Houston.” A deep, buried secret that she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge was real until now. “I don’t want to be a surgeon. Isn’t that just completely stupid?
I really thought I did. I thought it would be solving puzzles, looking at X-rays, and making diagnoses.
I knew I wanted to be a doctor, to follow in my father’s footsteps.
Then he died of cancer when I was fifteen, and I felt like I had promised him I’d be a surgeon. But I really think it’s not for me.”
His grip tightened on her, and she pulled back a little to see his face. “I’m a really confident, happy person, you know, and I loved med school, but since I started my residency all I do is doubt myself. I feel lousy about myself.”
And talking about it now made her feel vulnerable, but he had confessed his doubts and fears, so she was glad she’d come clean with hers.
“You’re an excellent doctor, Josie, never doubt that.”
Of course he had to say that since she was sitting in his lap. On the other hand, Houston wasn’t known for sugar-coating the truth. It made her feel better.
She stroked his hand. “It will work out, Houston. You’ll heal.”
“And you’ll be a stellar surgeon.”
Maybe these were delusions they were feeding each other, but sitting on the sand—close, confessing—felt so intimate and solid, and gave her hope that somehow, they would work things out between them. Everything would work out.
Half-joking, she said, “Since we’re confessing and telling secrets, you know what else I’m afraid of? Garbage trucks.”
Houston laughed. “Garbage trucks? Why?”
“I’m always convinced someone is being caught and compacted in that metal press when they push the button. Very scary.” She gave an involuntary shudder just thinking about it. “I think it was watching Star Wars at age nine that did it.”
He brushed his lips back and forth over her forehead. “I’m afraid of food poisoning. Does that count as a confession? It’s an irrational fear of salmonella.”
Josie snorted, starting to enjoy herself. “When I was twelve, I stole a lip gloss from the drug store on a dare, then felt so bad I put it back on the shelf after I had used it once.”
“You naughty little girl.”
Houston urged her to her feet and she rose, hands on hips, using the heel of her foot to brush sand off her leg.
“What about you? Didn’t you do anything you’d like to confess?”
He helped her brush the sand off with a few well-placed strokes across the back of her calves and thighs, and one light swat on her ass that had her smacking back at him.
“When I was sixteen and Jenny Stanislaski used to call, I’d have Kori tell her I wasn’t home because I didn’t want to talk to her.”
“That’s terrible,” she said in mock horror.
“Hideous,” he agreed. “Now take your T-shirt off so I can see that bikini.”
His thoughts were never far from having her naked, and she was not complaining. “I wasn’t planning on going in the water.”
Houston touched the bottom of the shirt, brushing his fingers across her bare thighs. “You mean you’re going to let me go in the water all alone? Unprotected? Lonely and scared?”
Shifting, devious fingers stroked across the tight nylon front of the bikini bottoms. She swallowed hard, determined not to lean forward into his touch.
“I thought you weren’t scared.”
“I might be once I get in.”
“Right.” He looked just terrified. “Come on, then.”
She shucked the T-shirt and held out her hand.
He gave a wolf whistle, then grinned at her when she shot him a stern look of disbelief. A bikini had really been a bad idea.
“Every time I look at you, I want to pick a coconut.” Confused, she looked down at the print on the suit, gasped when he plucked at her nipple.
“Got one.”
“Houston! Get in the water.”
“Okay,” With a sharp turn he grabbed his board and ran off into the surf, flopping down on the surfboard as soon as he’d cleared the shore.
His hand trailed in the water for a minute as he drifted out a little, and Josie could almost feel his relief at being back in the water. He rolled over onto his back as she stepped into the warm ocean, the silty sand covering her toes.
“Come here,” he called, lying loose-limbed, legs dangling.
Making her way to him, Josie smiled. God, she was happy. Ridiculously happy. And he was more relaxed than she had ever seen him.
“Get on with me.”
“How?” The board didn’t exactly look stable.
“Just climb on the bottom. I’ll keep it from tipping.”
Sure. Easy. Not. Josie gripped the hard white surface and hauled herself up, pausing as she tried to figure how to swing her leg up and over.
Sliding back into the temperate water as her hands strained, her breasts caught on the board, squeezing painfully.
She wondered again why exactly she had the stupid things in the first place, since they were nothing but trouble.
Grappling for balance, she tipped forward and about scraped herself out of her bikini top. That had to be giving him quite a view. “Uhh. I’m stuck.”
“Don’t try to sit or stand up. Just inch forward on your stomach.”
It was good advice that worked, her progress steady until she was inching up between his knees, past his thighs and right over his soaking swim trunks that had a suspicious bump.
One that hadn’t been there before. Startled by the lilting motion of the board swaying back and forth, she held onto his legs and dropped her chest down right about where that bump was.
He groaned.
This was interesting. She started to enjoy herself, despite the fear factor, and began a slow, leisurely soldier-crawl up the board, hugging her body to his the whole way up.
Skin touched, hips rubbed, breasts pushed into his chest, and finally her bikini bottoms came to rest right smack on his trunks. Her mouth hovered over his.
The board gently rocked, rolling all those parts of her over him.
“Can you come down to the beach and do that every day?” he asked, voice husky. “I think I just had an out-of- body experience.”
Then he kissed her.