Chapter 20
TWENTY
WINDSOR
The Lasagne
11 February 2006
‘Mum? What are you doing?’
‘Oh, hello, love.’ Kath Sharpe, wearing rubber gloves and an apron tied tightly around her waist, continued to furiously mop the kitchen floor. Chandler was whining outside the back door, wanting to be let back into the warm.
Vic stood in the kitchen doorway and peered around, dumbfounded. All the kitchen sides were clear of clutter, and even the stainless-steel draining board had a gleam to it – and it brought her right back to days of old. Her mother’s bark of, ‘Shoes off first, madam,’ made her jump.
She smiled in bemusement as Kath Sharpe blurted, ‘I mean, I clean for all these posh, fancy women and this place is a complete and utter shambles. I should be ashamed of myself.’ Kath then let out a big sigh, took the mop out of the bucket and tipped the dirty water down the sink. Grabbing a tea towel, she opened the back door, greeted her beloved pooch with a stroke, then lifted his paws to wipe them of any mud he may have picked up whilst charging around outside.
‘This is 28, Simpson Crescent, isn’t it?’ Vic grinned. ‘Am I in the right house?’
Kath whipped off her apron. ‘You cheeky mare. I wasn’t expecting you this weekend, was I?’
‘No, Mum.’ Vic took a deep breath. ‘I just needed to get out of London.’
‘How are you feeling, darling?’ Kath threw the dirty tea towel into the washing machine.
Tail wagging furiously, Chandler leapt up at Vic’s legs until she picked him up and cradled him like a baby. ‘Aww, my precious boy.’ The little dog scrabbled until she put him back down.
‘So, you’re feeling OK, Vic?’ Kath repeated.
‘Umm. Yes, I’m all right.’ Despite it being wonderful that her mother was for once showing interest in her only daughter, Vic cringed inside. The drama that would ensue if she told her just wasn’t worth it. She’d rather simply be here, in the familiar family home, with her secret safe inside. Sleeping in her old single bed with a dip in it, pretending that nothing had changed. It had been a relief to see Dr Anna earlier in the week, and to be told that nothing had changed with her viral load or CD4 count since the last check, and to just continue as normal until their next appointment in three months’ time.
‘And how’s that Nate? I haven’t seen him for ages. Last summer, wasn’t it? You two went off Monday night horse racing?’
‘Umm. He’s the same as usual.’ Just hearing his name made Vic want to burst into tears. For, even though they had long been like ships passing in the night, she had been missing him greatly. It was sad and a little strange that when they had been together, knowing someone had been coming home to her, at whatever time, had been enough for her not to feel alone. But now that void was huge, and her nights quite often devoid of sleep. And as much as she probably should share her feelings of woe, Vic wasn’t ready to open up that whole assortment of problems either – not yet, anyway.
Just thinking of her ex-love gave her the sudden urge to message him and tell him that her mum could actually be sober. He was one of the only people who would really get the significance of that for her. But to what end? And why would he care now, anyway?
Kath filled the kettle. ‘Let me make us a nice pot of tea. I got some chocolate digestives when I went shopping this morning, too. Note to self: don’t shop on a Saturday, especially not the weekend before Valentine’s Day. It was packed everywhere.’
Romance being the last thing on her mind at the moment, Vic hadn’t even registered what date it was. ‘Tea and biscuits sounds lovely, thanks, Mum.’ She opened the back door under the pretence of wanting to run up and down the lawn with Chandler and took a quick look in the recycle bin – no bottles. Then opened the dustbin and lifted the bin bag in there and shook it – no glass clanking in there, either.
After she had checked the little fella’s paws for mud, they went back inside.
‘The garden looks tidy, Mum.’
‘Yes. I can’t take the credit for that. It’s a bit wet for mowing, so your brother just gave it a bit of a strim on the edges and sorted out the old pots that were out there. He’s popped some rhubarb in the top corner, too, and I’m looking forward to getting some sweet peas out there this year.’
‘It’s great that you’re getting organised again, Mum. You used to love your garden.’
‘Yes, yes, well… with Albie helping, it makes it a bit easier. He’s paying off his national debt, as he calls it. He came over with Lisa and her boys and they helped me put the bed back upstairs, too. I can start using the dining room table again for my ji gsaws. Looked like an old people’s home in there before – it’s much better now.’
Vic was feeling quite shocked at the huge transformation of her mother in such a brief time.
‘Have you met her, Vic? Lisa, I mean. She’s a lovely girl, that one.’
Vic didn’t want to spoil the moment and convey that of course she’d met Lisa – once here, even, when they’d all had a Sunday lunch together – so just replied with a quick, ‘Yes, yes, I have.’
She opened the packet of biscuits as her mum filled the teapot with boiling water. ‘I know what I meant to ask you: who helped you get the bed downstairs before, Mum?’
Kath Sharpe took off her apron and threw it in the washing machine too. ‘It was Albie, wasn’t it? I think but…’ Kath sighed. ‘OK. Hands up. I’m ashamed to say I have no recollection of it happening.’
They moved through to the living room, which, Vic noticed, with a dart of pride, was also clutter-free, with not a spot of dust in sight. Chandler jumped up on the sofa next to Kath and snuggled into her ample thighs.
‘So, how’s work, love?’
‘It’s all right, thanks.’ Vic laid her head back on the armchair. It had been lovely to have a couple of weeks off in January, and she had gone back to Glovers with renewed vigour – and a plan. She had also put her thousand-pound bonus in a high-interest account and was saving as much money as she could afford so that, when the time was right, she would at least have some behind her when she started to make a plan with her art. She found that when her mind was cluttered and worried, she couldn’t release her full creativity, and she was in that kind of mental state at the moment.
‘You look tired, darling. Are you sure you’re OK?’
‘I’m fine, Mum. I promise.’
‘So are you here for the weekend, or is it just a flying visit?’
‘Until tomorrow night, if you’ll both have me?’ Vic looked at Chandler, who was now lightly snoring.
‘We’ll do better than that. How about a nice home-made lasagne for our dinner? And I’ve got some rhubarb in the freezer – I could do a crumble, too. Your favourites.’
Vic felt herself welling up. ‘That’ll be really lovely, Mum.’
‘Good. Good.’ Kath Sharpe took a big slurp of her tea, then released her hair from the bobble that had been tying it back and gave her head a shake.
‘Wow. You’ve had your hair cut.’ Vic took in her mum’s new shoulder-length bob, which had been coloured deep brown to cover the greys. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t notice it straight away. It’s lovely, and that colour really suits you.’
Kath Sharpe patted her head. ‘Thanks, love. I did an extra few hours for the Overton-Hattons, so Sally Jenkins – you know, who used to come here and do it – well, I called her up. I found a pair of your old straighteners in the back cupboard, so used those on it the other day, too. Hark at me with my “new hair, don’t care” attitude.’ Kath Sharpe grinned.
‘Hark at you.’ Vic smiled, delighting in Kath’s happiness, but also feeling distinctly perplexed at her mother’s new-found positive attitude, which had seemingly come out of nowhere.
She thought back to a conversation with Joti, about it taking something big to even get her mother to think about stopping drinking. But whatever she was thinking, Victoria Sharpe certainly wasn’t going to either question or comment on the matter. Instead, as she had done on many other occasions, she would just quietly take in and enjoy this long-awaited moment of sobriety. And pray that, this time, it would last.
‘Hello, Vicki. How are you?’ Joti was on her knees refilling an outdoor pot with soil as Vic came out of the door to take Chandler for a walk along the river.
‘I’m all right, thanks. It’s a bit early for bedding plants, isn’t it?’
‘Just repotting a rose. Your brother kindly strimmed the grass out here last week, so I wanted to get it looking nice, ready for spring. He’s quite the charmer, isn’t he? I meant to ask you, what age is he? Mid-twenties, I guessed?’
‘Charming when he wants something, usually.’ Vic smiled. ‘And don’t let that babyface fool you, he was thirty last birthday. I hope he didn’t ask you for money.’
‘No – said he worked for beer, so I will get him some cans for next time I see him.’ Joti rubbed her hands together to clean them of earth and stood up.
‘He must like you, then.’ Vic shook her head at the cheek of her brother asking for anything. Joti blushed. But cheek aside, if he’d asked for beer over money, maybe he had tried to put the brakes on the gambling, and for this Vic was incredibly happy.
‘Let me just change my coat and wash my hands and I’ll come with you for a walk – I assume that’s where you’re going.’ Joti was slightly hesitant. ‘If you don’t mind, of course.’
At the word ‘walk’ Chandler barked his disapproval at being kept waiting for his. ‘No, no, that’ll be lovely,’ Vic replied, and meant it.
‘Give me a minute, mister.’ Joti ruffled the impatient terrier’s ears and went inside. She appeared, fresh-faced, wearing a smart beige mac and black, knee-high boots. Her long, black, poker-straight hair was brushed flat, accentuating just how shiny it was.
‘I didn’t recognise you with your proper clothes on,’ Vic commented. ‘You look gorgeous.’
Joti laughed. ‘Yes, I still brush up OK when I can be bothered. ’
As they headed out of their close and on to the road towards the river path, they passed a tall blond man carrying a huge bouquet of red roses.
‘Someone’s a lucky girl,’ Vic exclaimed when he was out of earshot.
‘Or not,’ Joti replied darkly. ‘If I never have a man again, it will be too soon.’
‘Oh dear. You got divorced, didn’t you? I remember you saying when we first met, and I was in the middle of abusing you.’ Vic felt a surge of guilt at being rude to the clearly kind and soft-hearted woman walking by her side.
Joti sighed. ‘Yes, my dear darling Mister Johnson had an affair.’ She accentuated the word ‘mister’. ‘And woe betide anyone who dare call the bastard Doctor , for he is a Mister ! A surgeon, same as my dad was. Rob was a brusque Glaswegian – and the reason why I ended up in Edinburgh, following my cheating husband’s career dreams of being the best heart surgeon in Scotland.’
‘Were you together long?’
‘Ten years.’
‘Wow! So, yes, then.’ Vic tightened Chandler’s lead as another dog owner approached them.
‘It was great at the start, as it always is. In fact, the honeymoon period was a long one. But I’ve always wanted kids, Vic, and although we discussed it and he said that when the time was right, he would be open to it, when the conversation arose, he wasn’t sure. And I wasn’t going to have kids with someone who didn’t really want them – and at the grand old childbearing age of thirty-eight, I didn’t have the luxury of time to wait. So, the arguments began, as did his affair. She was the clichéd model – ten years younger than me, and despite him saying he had always preferred dark-eyed Eastern beauties, she had long blonde hair and made no demands, I heard, other than being the recipient of regular gifts and her promise to him of no-strings-attached, regular sex.’
‘Oh, shit,’ was all Vic could muster.
‘As you can hear from my voice, I’m clearly not bitter.’
Both women laughed.
‘Are they still together?’
Joti’s voice assumed a sarcastic tone. ‘Yes – and guess what? She’s only gone and got herself pregnant.’
‘Oh, Joti, that’s terrible.’
‘Yes, heartbreaking. And one of the other reasons that I moved to the other end of the country – so I never ever have to see them playing happy families.’
‘I’m so sorry. So Adams is your birth name, I take it?’
‘Yes. A good old common English name – my mum was Sri Lankan. And please don’t be sorry. Shit happens and I’ve got to get on with it now. I guess the only good thing that has come out of it is the divorce settlement, which has enabled me to buy a house in a lovely part of the world, and I have no mortgage on it. I could also take some time out of work, too, but I don’t want to. Nursing is a vocation and I love my job.’
‘So why Windsor?’
Joti’s voice wobbled slightly. ‘It’s a long story.’
‘It’s a long path.’ Vic smiled as they reached the river entrance opposite Browns. Swans were streaming onto the concrete riverbank area as excitable kids threw them bread and grains bought from the café on the front. Vic loved these magnificent birds when they were swimming gracefully on the water, but if they dared to stretch their wings and come towards her, it reminded her of when she nearly toppled into the river when she was just five, and which caused her to scream every time they came close, even now.
With Chandler barking like crazy at the majestic birds, the two women quickly made their way through them and, reaching a quieter spot on the path, were able to hear each other again .
Jake was having a smoke on the deck when Vic and Chandler reached his boat. Joti had held back to take a quick call from someone at work about her shift pattern. On recognising Chandler, Jake whistled, then on seeing Victoria, looked slightly surprised. ‘Oh hello, young’un. I expected to see your mum at the end of that lead.’
‘So that means she’s been out walking, then?’
‘Yes, yes. She has.’
She couldn’t be sure, but Vic thought maybe Jake’s cheeks had gone a light shade of pink.
‘She’s been trotting along here every day this past week, with this little fella. Have arranged to go on a longer walk with them both tomorrow.’
‘Ah, she didn’t mention it.’
‘Umm… Well, I did only suggest it in passing. She’s probably forgotten. And she’ll want to spend time with you, no doubt.’
For once, Vic didn’t air the inquisitive thoughts that were spinning around her head. ‘She’s great, though, Jake. I don’t know what’s happened. She’s like a different woman. It’s a breath of fresh air to see her so happy and sober.’
‘I’m so pleased.’ Jake paused. ‘For both of your sakes. How are you doing anyway, Victoria? You weren’t in a good place when I saw you last.’
‘I’m fine.’ She looked down and straightened a kink in Chandler’s lead as he tried to jump up on the boat. Jake was emotionally aware enough not to question the ‘fine’ on this occasion. ‘Not now, matey.’ Vic pulled the errant hound to her side. She looked back to see Joti now walking towards them down the river path and waved to her. ‘That’s Mum’s neighbour. We’re just having a walk together. She’s lovely.’
Without looking down the path, Jake checked his watch. ‘That’s nice. I’m always here with an ear. You know that. But for now, as you have company anyway, I’m going to love you and leave you, as there’s a programme on Radio 4 I’ve been waiting to listen to. See you soon, love.’
He disappeared inside.