Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
WINDSOR
The Proposal
Victoria arrived back at Simpson Crescent to raised voices and a barking Chandler.
She walked in to find Albie and Kath eye to eye across the kitchen table.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Albie wants to move back in because Lisa has chucked him out.’ She gestured angrily towards Albie. ‘I knew your flipping gambling would cause this. I’m just getting myself together, then you and your sister want to move back in – and I refuse to pick up the pieces this time.’
‘Don’t bloody start on me, thanks very much.’ Vic shook her head in disbelief.
‘It’s not my gambling, Mum, I promise you.’ Albie’s voice stayed on a level.
Kath Sharpe sighed. ‘So tell me, you couldn’t keep your dick in your trousers – was that it?’
Vic winced at her mother’s choice of words. ‘Mother, really, do you have to? ’
‘Yes I do – you’d be the first to slag your father off about his philandering.’
‘But we are talking about Albie now and none of this has got anything to do with me.’ Vic’s voice was raised.
‘So what is going on then, lad?’ Kath spat.
‘Who says that we haven’t just fallen out of love?’ Albie shifted from foot to foot.
‘Because you’re Barry Sharpe’s son, that’s why. God, I need a drink!’ Kath suddenly exclaimed.
‘No, you don’t!’ Albie and Victoria shouted in unison, as there was a light knock at the door, followed by a ‘Hello’.
‘Who the hell is that now?’ Kath Sharpe grabbed the kettle off the side and started to fill it.
Joti appeared in the kitchen. ‘The door was open, so I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Sorry about all the shouting, love,’ Kath said, visibly attempting to calm down as she put teabags into mugs with a shaking hand. ‘Fancy a cuppa?’
‘What shouting?’ Joti convincingly lied. ‘And thanks, but no thanks. I’m on nights. I need to get a nap in this afternoon, or I’ll be a walking zombie. I did want to talk to you, though. I’m er… thinking of getting a lodger. Where do you think would be a good place to advertise?’
Luckily only Vic, and not her mother, saw Joti’s sneaky wink to a now-smirking Albie.
‘Maybe I can save you the trouble, Miss Adams,’ Albie flirted. ‘As it happens, I’m looking for a place myself.’
‘Oh. OK. Really? Erm… brilliant. Message me later. I’ll be up again around six. Bye for now.’ A pink-faced Joti let herself out.
‘Oh, so you don’t want to live here now, then?’ Kath Sharpe snapped, once Joti was out of earshot.
‘Women!’ Albie exclaimed, heading out of the back door for a cigarette .
Kath shut the door behind him and breathed a sigh of relief. She had just sat down opposite Vic when the doorbell rang.
‘Jesus, it’s like bleeding Clapham Junction around here,’ Kath huffed.
Vic went to the door and, on seeing who it was, her mouth fell to the floor.
‘Nate! What are you doing here?’
Though comforted by his presence, Victoria thought it odd that Nate would reach for her hand as they entered the Long Walk, near the castle gates. They began to walk down the famous straight road, flanked on either side by grassy areas where families and tourists alike were chatting, playing games, sunbathing, or picnicking on the Queen’s famous carriageway.
‘Please pick up when I call you, or reply to my messages. You scare the life out of me, Vic. When I don’t hear back from you, I think – well, I think… maybe…’
Nate pushed back his messy fringe and looked at Vic through puppy-dog eyes. His uniform of distressed jeans and Oasis T-shirt were achingly familiar.
‘Nate, I’ve just been busy. Sorry. And I’m not just going to drop down dead. It’s fine. I’m being looked after, well and closely.’ Vic pulled her hand away. ‘I wish you’d bloody educate yourself.’
‘I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried about you in general. Are you feeling all right?’
‘Apart from being a complete mental wreck, then yes. I am starting to get my head around it, as I have to. Because whatever is going on inside this body of mine, I am still Victoria Sharpe.’
‘The one and only.’ Nate smiled. ‘I’m so sorry I left you like I did.’ He sounded sincere.
‘Yes, well… You did what you felt was right for you and I’m so rry, too, that I put you in a position where you could have been in the same situation as me.’
‘You didn’t know, Vic.’
‘But I still slept with someone else, Nate, and that wasn’t my finest hour.’
‘We both obviously had shit to sort out, which we didn’t face.’ Nate pulled a can of lager out of his rucksack. ‘Do you want one?’
‘No, thanks.’ Vic sighed. ‘Why are you down here anyway? Don’t tell me you’ve left the job already. You said it was good in one of your texts.’
‘One of the texts you ignored, you mean.’
‘No need to keep on.’ Vic wasn’t quite sure she could take much more today. It was only a few hours ago that she had been lip to lip with Jerico, and so much had happened since.
‘I wanted to talk to you face to face. I was a coward. Six years is a long time, Vic. We’ve shared a lot and I miss you.’
‘I miss you too,’ Vic replied quietly.
‘I think you’d love it where I am in the Lakes. I’m staying in this beautiful little cottage, surrounded by the most stunning countryside. All paid for by the mansion house owners. And my day consists of making a lunch and dinner for whoever is in the house, just five days a week. Plus, looking after the grounds, and you know how much I enjoy being outside.’ Nate was on a roll now. ‘There’s a decent town just fifteen minutes away – and all the food produce and the air just seems fresher somehow. I love it up there.’
‘It’s good to hear you sounding so happy.’ And Vic meant it.
‘But it’s not the same without you.’ Nate took her hand again. ‘Come back with me, Vic. I can set the spare room up as a studio. There are so many gorgeous places where you could paint. I will do anything to help you find your way. You won’t have to pay rent and I get my food, too. We will manage until you are on your feet. ’
Tears sprang into Vic’s eyes. ‘And what about my hospital visits? I’m all set up in London now, and I want to stay that way whilst it’s all so new.’
‘You can travel down for those. You’ll want to see your family and friends, too, I guess, so you can combine it.’
‘You’ve thought of everything.’ Vic blew out loudly.
‘I have. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Sometimes I think I even see you in the street or hear your laugh, and my heart leaps a little bit. And as the old adage says, your absence really has made my heart grow fonder.’
‘Well, this is taking a turn,’ Vic said aloud. It had been shock enough Nate just turning up unannounced, let alone turning into Saint bloody Valentine. And his previous messages had given no clue that he was feeling this way – but that was Nate all over. A bag of free and reckless wonder.
‘I want to be with you, Vic. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my whole life.’ He led her off the path and onto the grass. ‘Let’s sit.’
They sat next to each other in silence. Legs stretched out, their thighs touching.
Nate’s closeness made her immediately think of Jerico. The sexy author sparked her mentally. He had a huge presence. He was a joy to be around. He had made her heart beat extremely fast when he had kissed her earlier. She thought he might be her ‘diamond love’. But Nate was her Nate. They had shared the reality of life, had lived together, slept together, left the bathroom door open in front of each other and he’d even held her hair back on the few occasions she’d been sick. It may have been messy a lot of the time, but whatever it was, it had been real.
A ‘diamond love’ was all anyone could aspire to. What Jake and Malini had did sound magical. But even so, it had still crumbled in the face of his addiction. Maybe that level of desire was just too intense ever to last?
Vic looked directly into Nathaniel Carlisle’s brooding brown eyes. He was offering her his heart and soul. It would be so easy to walk back into his life now. Being able to make love to him and not have to worry about telling him what was wrong. She automatically picked up his hand and kissed it.
‘Please say yes, Vic. Sort out what you need to here and I’ll be waiting for you. I know it will take work, but we can do this.’
Tears of past hurt and regret began to fall slowly down Vic’s cheeks, and instead of a flat no, the words, ‘I’m not sure,’ flew right out of her mouth and into the sunshine.
‘I’ll take an unsure over a no, any day.’ Nate wiped Vic’s tears away with his thumb.
She managed a smile. ‘I’m just starting to get back on my feet again.’
‘I get that it’s a big decision. But I promise you, I will make it so worth it. No rush. I’ll be waiting.’
‘Don’t put your life on hold for me, Nate. I’m going to be working in Brighton for the summer.’
‘Oh, are you now?’
‘Yes. I can’t wait. Danny, well, Danny and I, we’re friends, and it’s nice to be around someone who totally understands what I’m going through. He’s also going to exhibit my work in his gallery, so it’s such a big chance for me.’
‘Danny, eh,’ Nate said softly under his breath, took a second to compose himself then reached for her hand. ‘Do what you need to. No pressure. OK?’
‘Thank you,’ Vic replied. ‘When are you heading back up north?’
‘Shortly. I’ve got to work this weekend.’
‘So you’ve done the Lake District and back in a day just to see me.’ Despite herself, Vic was impressed.
Nate nodded. ‘Yes, that’s how serious I am, Vic. I miss you so much.’ He checked his watch. ‘But shit, I mustn’t miss this train.’
He jumped up, threw a soft kiss on her lips, then, after shouting back the words, ‘Call me,’ he was gone, leaving her standing halfway down the Long Walk.
Vic retrieved a screwed-up tissue from the bottom of her handbag and blew her nose. Why had the words ‘not sure’ come flying out of her mouth? She had made up her mind that it was over with Nate, but him standing there in front of her, offering his heart and soul and really seeming like he meant it, had messed with her head – and her heart. It would be so easy to revert to the factory settings of life.
But it was fine, she convinced herself. Brighton would be a new start and Nate was now an option on the backburner. And if thinking of using him as that made her a bad person, so be it, because life had thrown her one hell of a lemon and she felt justified in making lemonade wherever she could.