Chapter Thirty-Three
Life carried on as normal in Buttermarsh. The seconds, minutes and days passed by. Laura had worked every day since the news of Gertie’s death and she was glad of that. She needed to be busy, to care for others so that she had no time to think about herself. Every day she had arrived at work early and stayed long after her shift had ended. When she eventually made it home, she was so exhausted that she didn’t even bother to eat. Just a quick shower and straight to bed.
Gertie’s death had stirred up emotions in her that she’d thought had long been buried deep. Feelings of guilt, inadequacy and the feeling that she should have done more. Listened more. Every time she passed the closed door of Gertie’s room she stopped for a moment, placed her palm on the smooth wood and said goodbye to her. Her hand touching the very spot where Gertie’s photograph had been, the photograph Richard now carried in his wallet. she told her that she would keep her promise. On one occasion, Cerrie had been passing by and had stopped to watch what she was doing. Laura had just shrugged, said nothing, and to her relief Cerrie hadn’t probed any further. Perhaps she’d understood.
Laura made her way to the staffroom for her mid-morning break. She normally wouldn’t have bothered to go to the staffroom, preferring instead to spend the time with Gertie over a cup of tea and a packet of custard creams. But Gertie was no longer here.
Laura pushed open the staffroom door and was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and burnt toast. Linda was buttering two slices of thick toast but turned around when she heard the creak of the door.
‘Hello, Laura. Do you want me to pop some toast on for you?’
‘No, don’t worry. You sit down.’ She walked over to join Linda by the toaster. ‘I’ll make some toast.’
Linda smiled, picked up her plate and cup of coffee, and sat down on one of the fabric-covered armchairs that had seen better days.
‘How are you getting on? Is everything okay?’ Linda asked.
Laura didn’t turn around. She dropped the bread into the toaster and then poured herself a cup of coffee as she spoke.
‘I’m fine, you know. It’s just a bit strange without Gertie here.’ She turned around to look at Linda. ‘It must be very strange for you too. You knew her such a long time.’
‘I did, and Richard, too, of course, and Henry. It’ll be strange without them, but we carry on, don’t we?’
Laura nodded, turning back around to check on the progress of her toast. It would be strange without Richard. She’d miss seeing him. Did miss him. He stirred up feelings in her she hadn’t felt in a very long time and she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to acknowledge them. She shoved the thought aside. ‘What about you?’ she asked Linda. ‘How are you coping?’
Linda had been working as stand-in manager since Hazel had been dismissed, and Laura knew that Linda really didn’t want the role. She had only taken it as she had the most experience and was the longest-serving member of staff. Plus, she didn’t have a choice.
Linda offered Laura a wry smile. ‘Actually, that’s what I need to chat to you about.’
Laura was in the middle of buttering her toast but stopped, spinning around to face Linda. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Bring your coffee and toast over here, and I’ll tell you.’ Linda patted the chair next to her. When Laura had sat down, Linda removed an envelope from her tunic pocket. ‘I’ve been meaning to give this to you, but I was waiting for the right moment,’ she said. ‘Now seems like the right time.’
Laura froze. This was what you got for not being honest with people. She shouldn’t have tried to hide her past work experience and qualifications. It had obviously backfired on her and this was her notice. What was she going to do now? She had a bit of money saved, but she couldn’t stay in Buttermarsh if she had no job.
Linda smiled and waved the envelope at her. ‘Well, aren’t you going to take it?’
Laura just stared at the envelope. Surely Linda wouldn’t taunt her like this if she was about to sack her?
Linda thrust the envelope towards her. Laura took it with trembling hands. She slowly opened it . . . and read the words.
‘Well, what do you say?’ Linda asked.
Laura had to read the letter twice, making sure that she hadn’t misunderstood what it was telling her. The manager’s role was hers if she wanted it. She couldn’t believe it. ‘I don’t understand . . .’
‘What do you mean? There’s nothing to understand. If you want the manager’s job, then it’s yours.’
‘You don’t want it?’
‘You know I don’t,’ Linda said, with a sad smile. ‘If I was twenty years younger then maybe, but not now. I want to spend more time with the grandkids, and anyway, in less than a year I’ll be heading for retirement. It needs to go to someone younger. Someone who is passionate about caring for elderly people. Someone who has vision and can lead. And that person is you.’
‘I don’t know what to say,’ Laura said. She tried to hide her blush. This was all such a shock. ‘I haven’t been here that long. It doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Listen,’ Linda said with a wag of her finger. ‘It doesn’t matter how long you have been here. All that matters is that you’re the best person for the job. And to be honest, we’re all rooting for you.’
Everyone was rooting for her? ‘Really?’ Laura said, unable to hide her shock. ‘You think I should accept?’
‘Of course you should!’ Linda said, patting her on the hand. ‘Whyever not? But you need to think about it. Take your time and let me know. The big boss said you can have a week to let me know your decision.’
Laura nodded and slipped the letter into her tunic pocket. She had moved to Buttermarsh to escape the past, to create a new life, and she had managed to do that in such a short amount of time. Work was good. She enjoyed working at Cedar House. So why not be the manager? What was there to stop her? She could do the job with her eyes closed. But she didn’t want to rush into anything. She needed to think carefully about this. Taking the job would mean that Buttermarsh would become her permanent home, not just the village she had escaped to. So, she would need to think about it. She told Linda that she would let her know by early next week.
Linda smiled and sipped her coffee.
* * *
Linda had left the staffroom to take care of some phone calls, leaving Laura alone with her thoughts. Not for the first time that week, she couldn’t help but think that she had let Gertie down. She had hardly spoken to Richard, apart from the two times he had called her for a quick chat on the phone. Their conversations had been professional, about matters to do with the home. As Laura took a final bite of her toast and washed it down with the cold dregs of coffee, she knew in her heart that she hadn’t been a good friend to him. She needed to try harder. To make more of an effort. She liked Richard and it was only now that Gertie wasn’t around that she realised how much she missed him. He had slowly become a part of her life, so slowly in fact that she hadn’t realised how important he would be until he was gone.
Sitting alone in the staffroom, Laura had the sudden urge to phone him. To tell him that she had been offered the job, to share her news with him. To hear his voice. He would be at home as he was still on bereavement leave, so he would be able to take the call.
Laura jumped up and went over to the staff lockers to retrieve her mobile. She quickly scrolled to his number and pressed call before she could change her mind.
‘Hello.’ Richard answered the call after only one ring.
‘Hi, Richard, it’s Laura.’
‘Oh, hello. Everything okay?’
Laura could hear music in the background — it sounded like the theme tune from a children’s programme. Henry must be at home.
‘One minute,’ Richard said.
She heard footsteps and the closing of a door. The music faded away.
‘Sorry about that. Henry is with me today.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to bother you.’ She shouldn’t have phoned him. He was obviously busy.
‘It’s no bother. It’s actually nice to hear another adult voice.’ Richard laughed. ‘Did you want to ask me something? Is it about Gertie’s room? I can pop in tomorrow and sort out the room if you like? It’s just that . . .’ He paused and cleared his throat. ‘Are you in work tomorrow? It’s just that I wondered if you might not mind giving me a hand?’
Laura felt a pang of sympathy. She was sad that he felt so awkward about having to ask her. ‘Of course, I’ll help you. I’m actually off tomorrow, but I don’t mind.’
‘Oh, I can’t ask you to help me on your day off.’
‘No, it’s no problem at all. Probably easier when I’m not on shift, to be honest. It’ll give me more time.’
Richard hesitated before he finally spoke. ‘Well, as long as you’re sure.’
‘I am,’ Laura said. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to sort through her books. I was wondering about setting up a library in Gertie’s honour, what with her love of reading. She has a lot of books and I was wondering . . .’ She cleared her throat, unsure if she was making a mistake. ‘Well, if you would donate some of her books?’
Richard’s reply came quick and fast. She heard his smile. ‘I love that idea. It’s what she would have wanted.’
‘I’m so glad you like the idea,’ Laura said with a sigh of relief. ‘But actually, that’s not why I phoned you.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed.’
Laura laughed. ‘Don’t worry. It’s just that I wanted to share some good news with you. Well, I think it’s good news. I ‘ve been offered the position of Manager and I think I’ll take it.’
‘That’s absolutely brilliant, Laura. I can’t think of anyone better for the job.’
Richard sounded genuinely pleased for her.
‘But why do you need to think about it?’ he asked gently. ‘Surely you’ll accept?’
‘I think I will, but I just need time to process it. It’s come as a bit of a shock,’ she said.
‘Well, I’m happy for you, and I think that the residents of Cedar House will be happy for you too,’ he said.
‘Anyway, enough about me, how are you?’ Laura asked. She expected the standard, I’m fine , so was surprised when Richard spoke slowly and with honesty.
‘I’m coping, but it is so very odd with her not in my life. It takes time, doesn’t it?’
‘Yes, it does,’ she said. ‘Time is the great healer, so they say, but I don’t think that is true.’
‘Me neither,’ Richard said.
‘Anyway, I’d better go. My break’s nearly over.’ Laura stood up to rub the small of her back.
‘Okay, I won’t keep you,’ Richard said. ‘Oh, before I forget, the undertakers called me earlier and the funeral will take place next Friday, so if you want to, well, you know . . .’
‘I’ll be there, Richard. Of course I will. If you need anything you know you just need to ask.’
‘I know,’ he said softly.
Laura listened to his breathing down the phone, wishing she could see him, give him a friendly hug. Tell him it would all be all right. It was all so difficult when on the phone.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow then,’ he said.
For a moment Laura had forgotten that they had arranged to sort out Gertie’s room. ‘Oh, yes, I’ll meet you here. What time is good for you?’
‘Would ten o’clock be okay?’
‘Perfect. See you then.’
‘Yes, see you tomorrow.’
‘Bye,’ Laura said, and ended the call.
* * *
Laura followed Linda to the home’s front door as they finished their shifts and both waved goodbye to Adrian who was in charge of the night shift.
Linda shoved her hat on. ‘Any problems you can give me a call, okay? You can phone me any time.’
‘Will do,’ Adrian said. ‘But I think we’ll be okay.’
‘I’m sure you will,’ Linda said. They walked out of the door into the cold night air.
‘Right, well, I’m off home for a spag bol and a soak in the bath,’ Linda said.
‘Sounds like a plan.’ Laura wondered what she was going to do with the rest of her evening.
Linda said goodbye and was about to step away when she stopped. ‘Ooh, look who it is,’ she said.
Laura turned in Linda’s direction and saw Richard striding towards them, hands shoved deep into his pockets, a scarf wound around his neck. His dark curls were poking out of his hat.
Laura’s breath caught in her throat.
‘I’ll leave you to it. See you tomorrow,’ Linda said. Richard was closer now. ‘Hello, Richard. I’m in a rush, but I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she said, stepping past him on her way down the path.
Richard wished her goodnight and turned his full attention on Laura. She’d folded her arms across her chest, resisting the urge to reach out and hug him. What was he doing here?
‘Everything okay?’ she asked. Perhaps he wanted to make a start on Gertie’s room? She didn’t mind helping him if he did.
Richard smiled. He looked down at his feet before looking back at her, taking a deep breath and thrusting his hands deeper into his pockets. When he spoke, his voice shook with nerves.
‘Do you want to go for that drink?’