Chapter 21
I think one of the school administrators is trying to save money. The cafeteria is so frigid, I have my hood up inside to keep my ears warm. It’s not even forty outside today, why would you skimp on the heat?
“They’re fake.” Julieta feigns embarrassment.
“They look good,” Kaitlynn says.
If she hadn’t said it, I wouldn’t have known her nails weren’t real. They’re long and translucent with pretty blue tips. I almost did that same look this summer, but I ended up with stars on midnight blue polish instead.
“I love that,” I tell her.
“Next time I’m going to get acrylics—like, you know, from the nail salon downtown,” Julieta says. She’s always so animated, throwing her hands around, or wiggling her fingers like right now, or making grand gestures and sighing every other sentence.
“Maybe we can all go!” Kaitlynn suggests.
It’s not a bad idea. I haven’t been in a month at least, and my nails are looking ratty. All the polish is gone, and my cuticles are in dire need of some attention.
“I’m game,” I say.
“Period,” Julieta says. Her eyes are big and brown, dark fawny things that complement her brown complexion. “Maybe we can do it before Christmas?”
“The sooner the better,” I say half-mindedly. I’m still not entirely here.
“You really need it.” Kaitlynn nudges me. “Have you been biting your nails again?”
“What?” I snap at her. “Have not!”
I throw my hands up like I’m trying to show off my nails to the entire school. Okay, they’re bad, but they’re not that bad.
“Uh-huh,” Kaitlynn huffs.
“I swear!” I tell her, which earns me a laugh from Julieta. “I’ve done so much better since I’ve been getting them done!”
I really have. I used to chew them to the quick, and then I’d have them bleeding when I went too far, or they didn’t rip right, but I’ve done better. I just haven’t had a manicure in a while.
“They’re not that bad,” Julieta comes to my aid.
I nod appreciatively at her, then grunt at Kaity.
See, they’re not that bad. Even if I did maybe chew on my thumbnail this morning.
It was just a little though, and I’ve been so nervous!
Hayden’s coming home from the hospital today—much earlier than expected—and I feel like this is about to open a whole new level of wild that I’m not ready for. I’ve not talked to him since yesterday.
“Maybe next week, then?” Kaitlynn suggests.
Julieta makes a big show of checking her phone to see if she’s free. How busy could a fourteen-year-old freshman be? I’m not even busy enough to have to check my schedule, and I work.
“I can do it. We’ll still have to go again before the Winter Formal,” Julieta reminds us. “Have to look good for Kadin.”
Ah yes, Kadin. The two of them have been going steady for a month now, I think. Which is awesome, and besides, he looks like my K-pop crush, Hyunjin, from Stray Kids. I swear he could be the singer’s doppelganger, and my, is he gorgeous. He’s one of my many unattainable straight crushes.
“Can’t be seen next to that piece of perfection looking like trash,” Kaitlynn echoes her.
“We all look like trash next to him,” Julieta sighs lustfully.
If I didn’t agree, I’d be rolling my eyes.
“Agreed!” I laugh.
“You want to look good for your man too,” Julieta says, looking straight at me.
My man?
What is she talking about?
“Huh?” I quirk an eyebrow. Kaitlynn’s eyes widen and she shakes her head at me as if to say, I didn’t say a damn thing.
“Hayden Marcus.” Julieta says his name.
“What? No,” I laugh, trying to play it off. As if he doesn’t actually think he’s my boyfriend right now, which while I’m thinking about it, seems beyond insane. I mean, it is insane, and after yesterday there is no way. “He’s just a crush. He’d never.”
“But.” Julieta’s eyes fly wide, her dark black eyeshadow becoming barely a line above long lashes. “You two are dating. That’s what they’re saying, at least.”
“Dat…dating?” I blurt. “They?”
“Yeah, everyone’s talking about it.” Julieta grins.
You’d think it was the biggest thing to happen at Mount Laurel High in ages the way she’s bouncing her shoulders and stressed everyone’s.
Except everyone doesn’t seem to include anyone who’s talking to me.
“I heard you two have been dating for a while but keeping it quiet. So selfish.”
Shit! That’s what I want to scream. I want to yell it loud and clear and profound across the cafeteria.
Instead I duck and swipe my eyes across the room, scanning my classmates.
People I know, don’t know, don’t want to know.
Do they all really think I’m dating Hayden?
They’re probably stunned beyond belief. Especially my bullies.
Yeah, I’ve bullies. This is the mountains.
“Uh…” I make a noise that’s sort of a groan.
Kaitlynn’s eyes are as wide as I’ve ever seen them.
Mine too probably, but I blink it away and try to start up the damage control.
I can’t deny it. Did he say something? Did he tell one of his friends?
Were his parents or grandparents too talkative about us?
Oh my gods, there are so many possibilities.
I don’t know, and I’m one hundred percent not about to text him to find out.
“Yeah, we are.” I surprise even myself. No point in stopping it now. Gods. Freyja is never going to let me into Fòlkvangr after all this. “Surprise!” I do jazz hands and breathe heavily. I didn’t think things could get worse than they already were, but here we are.
Julieta squeals and shakes her shoulders. I wish I was that excited. “That’s so awesome! He’s dreamy.”
“Yeah, he is.” I grin.
The bell rings, so I say a quick bye before using it to get away. I waste no time snatching Kaitlynn’s arm and pulling her along. I need her with me. Hell, now that I think about it, maybe I wasn’t being unreal to feel like people were watching me. Freyja, please make them stay away.
“Slow down!” Kaitlynn yelps as I tug her between the tables and chairs and down the main hall. I need somewhere we can talk, but privately!
“Kenz—” she starts again.
“Hold on!” I interrupt, finally seeing an option.
I dive right between some tall dude I know I’ve seen a hundred times but haven’t a clue his name, and someone else.
Then it’s another hard right, fingers gripping a long metal handle, yanking it open and shoving Kaitlynn inside before she can protest, and shutting the door behind us.
“Why are we in the janitor’s closet?” Kaitlynn bops her head and winces. “I’m not making out with you.”
“Make out? What? No!” I grimace at the thought and make an exaggerated puking noise.
“Well you don’t have to make it that obvious,” Kaitlynn says.
“What am I going to do about all this?” I wave my hand toward the door while she rolls her eyes.
“Do about it?” she asks.
“Yeah! Now everyone knows. Everyone isn’t supposed to know!” I tell her. “Now everyone is going to know I lied!”
“I mean they don’t have to know.” Kaitlynn bumps her shoulders with this very innocent look that says I’m guilty as hell.
“Kaity, darling,” I start off, as calmly as I can, “do you really think Hayden is going to keep thinking he chose to date me?”
“May—”
“No!” I practically yell, but still keep it quiet. She doesn’t know yet that I had my argument with Hayden. I’ve been keeping it close to my chest.
“Ugh, you’re going to make us late for class,” Kaitlynn complains.
“Forget class, this is more important!” I tell her. “This is terrible. I’m ruined! No one will ever see me as a decent person again once word gets out.”
“Little dramatic, but…” Kaitlynn drags it out. “Maybe you just need to not think about him—”
“Or Zach,” I interject.
“—for, and yeah, Zach too, for a little.” Kaitlynn’s amusement morphs into what seems sincere, but that’s anyone’s guess. “You need to clear your head and do something that makes you happy. Get away from them so you can think clearly.”
“But it’s all I think about,” I complain, cupping my face in my hands for dramatic effect. Wait!
“Or you could fuck both of them and see which you—”
What?
“Uh, no!” I yelp. “I feel bad enough I kissed Zach. But may—”
“So you admit it now! It was you. I knew it!” Kaity is raving in her own world.
“—be, what? No! I mean, yeah, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.”
“Maybe not you,” Kaity laughs.
“Focus, Kaity!”
“Sorry.” She pouts.
“What I was trying to say is that maybe you’re right.” I pause to clarify. “About the getting my mind off them part.”
“Duh. I don’t know why that always seems like such a surprise to you.” Kaitlynn raises a brow at me.
“But how?” I ask.
I ignore her and start listing the things I could do to get them off my mind.
First, stop saying or thinking their names.
Second, something fun. I could go to a movie.
Hmm… What’s playing? I could bake a cake for Kaitlynn’s mom.
She loves my layered lemon and lime cake.
Go for a drive? No. That’s just more empty time to think.
“The park?” Kaitlynn suggests.
“Hell no! It’s too cold for that,” I say just as the bell rings again.
“Yep, we’re late,” she complains and then lists another idea. “Go on a drive?”
“Nope, already crossed that one off the list,” I tell her.
Maybe do some light trespassing somewhere abandoned. Nope, I don’t need Mom even more upset with me.
“Well, I can’t read your mind. Ouija board?”
Ooh! I could have a Sandra Bullock movie marathon tonight and make Mom join me. That actress is amazing. She also happens to star in my all-time favorite movie, Practical Magic. Or maybe…
Oh! I have it! I throw my hand up, pointer finger extended.
“We can have one of our baking nights!” I’m pretty sure anyone in the hall who’s late for class like us could have heard that.
“Oh yay,” Kaitlynn deadpans. “I can’t wait.”
“And a movie! Come on! It’ll be fun! And you get to help me!” I tell her.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She rolls her eyes. “What are we watching?”
I give her one of my big cheesy grins, the type she hates. She huffs and I let out the tiniest little giggle.
“Practical Magic,” she sighs. “I get to pick the music.”
I nod, and you know what? I think I’m already feeling better.