Chapter 10 #2
Something clicked in my brain. This was a puzzle—a translation problem between two languages I wanted to become fluent in. Engineering was a language I was fluent in. But I had no experience with their language; the culture and slang of bikers.
“What do you think, Junie? Ready to ride with us?” Milo asked, his smile encouraging. “We’ll take it easy. Promise.”
“I don’t have a helmet,” I said, grasping for practical objections.
“Good call. First stop, bike shop,” Milo said. “Then we ride.”
“Shop today. Ride tomorrow,” I said. “Both on the same day is too much.”NEWCHAPTERFinding a motorcycle jacket when you had sensory issues was a challenge, but I loved the one that I settled on.
With the thick leather and armor, it was heavy, almost like walking around in a weighted blanket.
But it had a stylish cut that was still pretty flattering, I thought.
Working up the courage to get on the back of Xavier’s motorcycle was another thing entirely.
I’d spent all morning trying to think of things that would help this bo well.
I had earplugs in my pocket in case it was too loud, and a heavy pair of gloves in case my hands got cold.
I hadn’t been able to find a pair of motorcycle pants, though I sort of wanted them, so I was wearing jeans and my Doc Martins.
I eyed the motorcycles. “Do I need to learn to ride to really understand this?”
Xavier shook his head. “Riding backpack will give you a good feel for it. We can teach you to ride if you want, but that’ll take a lot longer.”“Backpack?” “Pillion. As a passenger,” Milo clarified, patting the pad behind his seat on the motorcycle. “It’s a joke based on the way the passenger sits.”
I tugged the helmet on, wincing. “It’s a little tight,” I said. Then I shook my head. “Maybe not unpleasant, though. It’s sort of firm.”
“That’s how it should fit. First rule of motorcycles,” Milo said, his voice taking on that cute teaching tone he sometimes used on social media as he tilted my chin back and fastened my chin strap.
“Respect the risk. Anyone who tells you riding isn’t dangerous is lying to you.
But safety gear like helmets can help. And the jacket you picked has abrasion resistance and top-of-the-line armor.
”“Plus, you look cute as a button in your purple helmet,” Xavier said, grinning.
I considered telling them this wasn’t going to work, then remembered that I had a meeting on Monday about these damn rider feedback forms. This might be a time to push a little outside of my comfort zone.
Milo, being Milo, went through a lecture on communication, including showing me how to use the radio in our helmets, and giving me signals to tap on his or Xavier’s body if I needed to slow down or stop.
I looked up at him. “I trust you,” I said simply. Then I added, “Daddy.”
“Fuck, don’t be making his dick hard at a time like this,” Xavier groaned, adjusting his motorcycle pants in a way that made me suspect he rather enjoyed hearing me call Milo ‘Daddy.’
Milo was staring down at me, and something flickered in his eyes. “Let’s see if you still trust us after your first ride. X will take you first.”
“I got you, Junie,” Xavier said as he led me to his bike.
“Won’t let anything happen to you.” There was a softness in his voice that made me think I meant something to him.
He climbed onto his bike with the fluid grace he always had, and I slid onto the seat behind him, awkward as I tried to figure out how to position myself.
Milo walked over and coaxed me into a position tight against Xavier’s back. “Closer. Pretend you’re his backpack.”
“Oh! Now that makes sense,” I said.
I clutched Xavier’s waist, my fingers digging into the worn leather of his jacket, my thighs clamped around his hips like I was trying to fuse our bodies together. The helmet felt alien and heavy on my head, the chin strap too tight, the pads pressing strangely against my cheeks.
The visor was fogging my glasses a little, and I wondered if I should go get my contact lenses.
“Relax,” Xavier called over his shoulder as he guided the motorcycle out of my driveway, the engine rumbling between my legs with a violence I hadn’t expected. “I’ve got you.” Easy for him to say. He knew what was about to happen.
We started slow, Xavier carefully navigating the residential streets, the bike purring rather than roaring.
I did what I always did when I felt anxious; I began cataloging sensations, then relating them back to the mechanics of the bike.
I noted the vibration frequency, how it changed with throttle input, the way the machine responded to Xavier’s subtle weight shifts.
I could feel the heat from the engine against my inner thighs, the constant micro-adjustments Xavier made to keep us balanced, the slight delay between his throttle twist and the surge of power.
The way he worked the clutch and gear shifter in perfect sync, playing with the timing to get the speed and response he was looking for.
As we left the city behind, the roads opened up, curving their way into the mountains.
Xavier leaned into a curve, and I instinctively leaned with him, my body pressed tight against his back.
The intimacy of it struck me—different from sex, but just as visceral.
I could feel his breathing, the flex of his muscles as he controlled the machine, the subtle communications his body was sending that mine was learning to read.
At this speed, everything was loud, but it wasn’t unpleasant: white noise, not overstimulation.
“Okay?” he called back during a straightaway.
“Yes!” I shouted, surprised to realize it was true. The initial terror had faded into something else—a potent cocktail of adrenaline, physics in motion, and the sheer thrill of moving through space with such immediacy.
The mountain road unwound before us like a ribbon, each curve revealing new vistas—rocky cliffs, pine forests, flashes of sky so blue it hurt to look at.
Milo rode ahead, his bike taking the turns with a flowing grace that made it look like he was dancing with the machine.
Xavier rode differently—more aggressive, more precise, like he was challenging the laws of physics with each lean.
When we finally stopped at a scenic overlook, I was trembling—not with fear, but with a kind of exhilaration I’d never experienced before. My legs felt wobbly as I dismounted, removing the helmet with some effort.
“Why is it so tight?” I gasped as I finally got it off of my head.
Milo laughed. “It’s new. It’ll break in a little, but you want it snug. Don’t want it to wobble around while you’re riding. How did you like it?”
“It was... I mean, holy shit. That was incredible.”
Xavier’s mouth quirked up in that almost-smile. “Different from what you expected?”
“Completely.” I pushed my glasses up my nose, knowing my face was flushed, my hair a disaster from the helmet. “It’s so... immediate. So connected to the road. I had no idea.”
“That’s what we were trying to tell you,” Milo said, coming over to drape an arm around my shoulders. “A motorcycle isn’t just transportation. It’s an experience. It’s therapy. It’s meditation.”
“I wonder if the electric bike lacks the visceral feedback loop. The vibration, the sound, the way the power delivery communicates with your body.”
Xavier exchanged a look with Milo. “Engineer brain never stops, does it?”
I grinned. “Brain never stops in general.”
“Want to try my bike for the next stretch?” Milo asked. “It handles differently than X’s bike. Might give you more perspective.”
I nodded eagerly, still buzzing with adrenaline and new insights.
Milo’s Honda felt different immediately—the seating position more upright, the engine’s vibration a different frequency.
Where Xavier rode like he was challenging death, Milo moved with the road, flowing around curves with a grace that made me feel safer, more connected to the experience rather than just holding on for dear life.
We’d been riding for about forty minutes when Xavier signaled a turn into a small roadside rest area.
Three other motorcycles were already parked there, their riders lounging beside them.
I felt a flicker of anxiety as we pulled in—social situations with strangers were never my strong suit, and I was acutely aware of my status as an engineering geek.
This was not a crowd I’d fit in with, not by any stretch of the imagination.
“Look who decided to grace us with their presence,” called one of the riders as we parked—a lean man with tattoos snaking up his forearms. “And they brought a friend.”
Xavier nodded curtly to the group as he removed his helmet.
“Who’s the new toy?” asked the redhead, his eyes sliding over me in a way that made my skin crawl. “Brand new gear.”
I glanced down at my outfit, wondering how obvious it was that we’d just bought all of this.
“Red, this is June,” Milo said, his voice carrying a warning note I’d never heard before. “She’s a friend. June, this jackass is Red. The guy over there with tattoos is Vince, and that’s our friend Dani over there on the Ducati.”
A woman with blue hair gave me a little salute.“It’s a really pretty color,” I said. “The hair, and the bike.”
She smiled a little and nodded. “Friend, huh?” Red snorted. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
Vince, the tattooed man, approached. “You ride, June?”
“First time today,” I said. “But I’m very interested in motorcycles.”
“You mean you’re interested in the hot guys that ride them,” Dani taunted, crossing her arms over her chest.
I glanced at Milo and Xavier and blushed. Couldn’t really deny that, could I?
“She works for Heleonix,” Milo added. “On the electric motorcycle project.”
Dani’s eyebrows shot up. “No shit?”
I nodded. “I’m an electrical engineer.”
“Good fucking luck with that,” she said. “I hear it’s a piece of shit.”
“She’s trying to make it better,” Xavier said, his voice low but sharp. “And she’s asking the right questions, asking riders what they want.”
“What do they want?” Red laughed. “How would she know? Look at her. Bet she’s never even gotten her hands dirty on an engine.”
I felt my face burn, embarrassment crawling up my neck. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t. I was an outsider here, a tourist in their world, and suddenly all I wanted was to disappear.
“I need to go,” I whispered to Milo. “This was a mistake.”
“Shut the fuck up, Red,” Xavier snapped suddenly, his harsh voice making me flinch. He stepped between us. “June’s got more brains in her little finger than you’ve got in your entire meth-addled skull.”
The tension in the air thickened immediately. Red straightened, his face darkening. “What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me,” Xavier replied, his voice deadly calm. “Apologize to her or we’re leaving.”
“Xavier, it’s fine,” I whispered. “Really, I—I’d rather just leave.”“Do you need space?” Milo asked quietly.“I don’t like Xavier yelling like this,” I whispered, reaching for my fidget necklace. “It’s sweet that he’s defending me, but it’s… I don’t want a fight.”
Milo nodded and led me away to a picnic table, where I sat and closed my eyes, holding my hands over my ears for a breath.
“Could you hug me?” I whispered, and Milo moved in, creating a safe cocoon around me.
When I opened my eyes, Xavier was there, looking worried.
“You okay? Shit, June, when I saw you flinch when I yelled.” I smiled.
“It’s okay. Everyone is dysregulated sometimes, right?
”Dani strolled over and stood next to Xavier, smiling at me. “Ignore Red. He’s just jealous.”
“Jealous?” I asked, frowning.
“It’s dope what you do at work. All that asshole does is change oil for suburban moms at Jiffy Lube.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I’d be interested in hearing what changes you’re making to the Helios project.
The concept has potential, but the execution was garbage.
And it’s cool that you’re listening to riders. ”
“Maybe you could do a ride with the test team once we’re in beta?” I asked.
“Yeah. That’d be sick,” she said, grinning. “X and Milo have my number. Call me.” With a little salute, she walked away.
“Look at you, making friends,” Milo said, grinning.
I watched Dani joke with the other guys around her, then looked down at my completely inappropriate outfit, thinking there was no way I could ever possibly be friends with someone that cool. “Not likely. I don’t know why I thought I could fit in with your friends...”
Xavier frowned down at me.
“You belong wherever the fuck you want to belong,” he said fiercely. “Don’t let some asshole make you think otherwise.”
Milo nodded, stepping closer. “And for what it’s worth, I think you understand more than you realize. You felt it today, didn’t you? A little of why we ride?”
I nodded, thinking back to the exhilaration of the ride, the way the bike had responded to our movements, the sense of freedom and immediacy I’d never experienced before.
“Then you get it,” Xavier said simply. “The rest is just details.”