Chapter 10
Father – not a word Jett wants associated with him
Jett
I stomp to my house. I must be sleeping. This is some kind of nightmare. Because it can’t be true. Aurora can’t be pregnant with my child.
She can’t be. I always glove up. I never, ever slide into a woman without a condom on my dick. No matter how much Aurora tempted me, I didn’t enter her bare.
But I saw the proof for myself. Her little baby belly didn’t lie.
A sliver of possessiveness snakes through my chest. The baby is mine. I shove the thought away. I can’t have a child. I can’t raise a child. I can’t be a parent.
Did Aurora show up in Winter Falls to drop this bomb on me? I didn’t realize she was cruel. She knows I don’t want children.
I reach my house and fling my door open but when I try to slam it shut behind me Fender grunts.
I glare at him. “What are you doing?”
Gibson pushes his way in front of Fender. “I think you mean what are we doing.”
I growl but it doesn’t stop Gibson, Fender, Cash, and Dylan from invading my house. Great. The band’s all here.
“Shouldn’t you be at your sober celebration?” I ask Gibson.
“As if I’d be anywhere else when you’re having a crisis.”
“I’m not having a crisis,” I claim, despite my heart hammering in my chest and the sweat gathering on my brow.
He cocks an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“What don’t you want to talk about? How you slept with our PA or how you got her pregnant?” Cash asks.
Gibson snorts. “We don’t need to discuss why he had sex with Aurora. We all knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
I frown as my bandmates nod in agreement with Gibson.
“Why are you confused?” Cash asks.
“Sparks flew whenever you and Aurora were in the same room,” Dylan continues.
“Because Aurora is the most annoying and irritating woman in the world,” I lie.
Gibson smirks. “You only found her irritating because you wanted to sex her up, but she was off limits.”
Fender grunts.
Great. All of my bandmates think I have a thing for Aurora. I mean I do have a thing for Aurora. But I can never have her. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who knows how to make a family with her. Someone who will love and cherish her. I don’t know how to do those things.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I’m starting to sound like a broken record.
“Tough shit,” Cash mutters as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa. Everyone else joins him.
“I’m serious. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dylan rolls his eyes at me. “It’s cute you think your opinion matters.”
“You didn’t hesitate to get all up in our business when we were falling in love,” Gibson points out. “It’s your turn.”
“It’s not my turn. This isn’t some rockstar love story. I’m not falling in love.”
“But you are having a baby,” Fender grumbles.
A baby? I can’t have a baby. I can’t be a father. Father? My stomach hollows out. I think I’m going to be sick.
Dylan presses a can of ginger ale into my hands. “This helps when you’re feeling nauseous.”
I don’t bother to argue with him. There’s no use denying I feel sick when I’m gagging. I slowly sip on the drink. When I’m certain I’m not going to lose the contents of my lunch, I settle into a chair across from them.
“What happened?” Gibson asks.
I glare at him. I’m not discussing having sex with Aurora with anyone. Not even with my best friend. What happened between me and Aurora is private.
He waves his hand. “I don’t need the details.” His face pales. “I don’t want the details. I consider Aurora a good friend. I don’t need to know what the two of you got up to behind closed doors.”
Cash clears his throat. “What’s done is done. Aurora is pregnant with your baby.”
“But I always glove up,” I argue.
“Accidents happen. You know this better than anyone.” Gibson waves toward my forehead where a faint scar is still visible from my fall from a surfboard.
“The question isn’t how this happened,” Cash says. “It’s what are you going to do about it.”
Move to a foreign country and pretend it isn’t happening?
Dylan wags his finger. “You can’t run away from this.”
“What if I want to enter the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race? Entry fees are non-refundable.”
Gibson waves his phone at me. “You’re shit out of luck. It doesn’t start until March 3 rd .”
Crap. I rack my brain for another extreme sports competition held in November or December. There must be something.
“Enough.”
I startle at Fender’s shout. Fender isn’t much for shouting. His grunts and grumbles are usually enough to scare people. He has no need for shouting.
“You are not abandoning the mother of your child while she’s pregnant.”
“Maybe the baby isn’t mine.”
The thought has me clenching my hands as jealousy fills my stomach. Has Aurora been having sex with other men? Has she forgotten all about me? Does she not care about me?
I shove those thoughts away. I’m not allowed to be jealous of her with other men. Not when I’ve avoided her calls for the past three months.
“Can I slap him?” Gibson asks the room. “I want to slap him.”
“You can slap him after I punch some sense into him,” Fender grumbles.
“I want in on this,” Cash adds.
Dylan stands in front of me. “No one will be beating Jett up today.”
“Why not?” Gibson pouts. “He deserves it.”
Dylan sighs. “He may deserve it but hitting him will accomplish nothing.”
“It’ll make me feel better,” Gibson says.
Dylan points at him. “Did he hit you when you were out of control?”
“He poured water on me.”
Cash stands next to Dylan. “This argument is getting us nowhere.”
But it does have everyone’s attention averted from me. Go ahead and argue all you want. I’ll sit here and pretend to be invisible.
Cash slaps me upside the head. “Ow.” Guess I’m not invisible after all. “What did you do that for?”
“Dylan said I can’t beat you up. Slapping doesn’t count.”
Gibson jumps to his feet. “I’m next in the slapping line.”
Dylan frowns before nudging Gibson away. “Enough. This fun and games isn’t helping Jett with the situation.”
“There is no situation. I can’t be a father. End of discussion.” I stand and walk toward the stairs.
“Get back here,” Fender growls. “We’re not done with this discussion.”
I glare at him. “Just because you want to be a father doesn’t mean everyone else does.”
“Want has nothing to do with it. You are going to be a father. You need to deal with your shit if you want to be part of the baby’s life.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be part of the baby’s life.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and glares back at me. “You’d be happy for there to be a child of yours running around the world who you have nothing to do with?”
“You’d abandon your child?” Gibson adds.
“It’s not…” I begin but I can’t continue the lie. I can’t claim it wouldn’t be abandoning my child. “Of course not,” I snarl.
I would never abandon my child. Not the way I was. But I can’t be a father either. I don’t know how to be a parent. I don’t have the first clue how to raise a child. How to teach him or her the ways of the world.
“But I can’t be a dad,” I murmur before bounding up the stairs.
This time my bandmates don’t try to stop me. I’m not na?ve. They’re not done pushing me on the subject. My bandmates are the pushiest people I know. They don’t let me get away with shit.
But I need time to figure out what to do. To wrap my head around the idea of someone having my child.
And not just someone. Aurora. The woman I wish I could have but I can’t. I can’t chance hurting her. I won’t.