Chapter 23
The past – doesn’t have to rule the future
Aurora
T he driver pulls to a stop in front of Jett’s rental house in Winter Falls. I want to tell him to turn around. Take me back to Denver. To anywhere but here. But I am not a chicken.
Although, me ignoring Jett and scurrying from the room whenever he showed up makes me appear to be one. And then there’s the whole grabbing a commercial flight to avoid sitting on a jet with him thing. Even I can admit that action spells chicken in big, fat capital letters.
Jett has messaged me about a million times since I pulled the flight stunt. My phone beeps in my pocket. I sigh before pulling it out. Speak of the devil.
Are you going to sit at the curb all night?
I’m making certain the coast is clear.
I know. I know. It’s petty to remind him of the two women he was with when I walked in on him.
No one’s here. You’re safe.
I’m safe? Maybe my body is safe but my heart? It’s shattered into a million pieces.
Which is utterly ridiculous. Jett and I aren’t together. But he was being sweet to me. Looking after me and Little Bean. I thought—
It doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.
My stomach rolls and tears threaten. I inhale a calming breath. I am not crying. I refuse to let Jett see how much he hurt me. Not when it’s obvious how little I mean to him.
“You okay?” The driver asks and I realize I’ve been sitting in this taxi at the curb for a while. Time to pull on my big girl panties and get this over with.
“I’m fine.” My voice almost sounds steady.
I open the door and climb out of the vehicle while the driver gets my bags out of the trunk. I follow him to the porch where he sets my things down.
I reach for the door but it opens before I get there.
“I just need to pick up my things and I’ll be out of your way.”
Jett crosses his arms over his chest. I keep my gaze pinned to his face. I will not look down at his arms. I will not notice how his muscles flex.
“Pick up your things? Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
His angry voice has thoughts of how strong his arms are and how they can lift me up without straining flying out of my mind.
“Wherever I want. You’re not the boss of me.”
The driver backs away. “I’ll just…,” he says before fleeing.
Great. I was counting on him helping me move my stuff out of Jett’s house.
“You’re carrying my baby,” Jett grumbles. “I have a right to know where you are.”
I roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised I don’t go blind. “ Your baby? He isn’t your baby. He’s my baby. You don’t want him, remember?”
I place a protective hand on my stomach. I got you, Little Bean. Don’t you worry .
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to hear it. I saw enough.”
He scowls. “I didn’t fuck those women.”
“I don’t care.” I lie. “It’s none of my business. We’re not together.”
“We need to talk,” he repeats.
“Yoo-hoo! Aurora!”
I glance over my shoulder. Feather waves from across the street where she’s standing on her porch.
“How was your trip?” she asks and begins walking down her sidewalk toward us.
“It was good. But I’m tired. Exhausted.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being pregnant, it’s how the word exhausted can be used as a ‘get out of jail free’ card.
I wave to Feather before hurrying into the house. I trudge up the stairs toward my bedroom. No, not my bedroom. The guest bedroom. I don’t live here anymore.
The sight of the comfortable bed has my resolve nearly crumbling. I can sleep here tonight and figure out a plan tomorrow. But then Jett enters the room and sets my bags down at the end of the bed.
Nope. No staying here. I need to leave before I decide I can survive a lifetime in jail for killing Jett. How bad can prison really be?
Contemplating prison? Yep. I need to go.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I reserved a room at the Inn on Main. ”
Jett growls. “You’re not staying at the Inn.”
“How many times do I need to say this for you to get it through your thick skull? You are not the boss of me.”
He snorts. “You made yourself perfectly obvious when you snuck off to the airport and left on a commercial flight.”
“I didn’t sneak off.” I’m not a troubled teenager sneaking away from her parents. By the time I hit my troubled teen years, my parents were gone. I didn’t need to sneak at anything. No one cared what I did.
“You did, but I don’t want to argue about it.”
“Good.”
I glance around the room. I know the closet is full of clothes. As is the dresser. Plus, there are the bags of dirty clothes on the ground. I don’t have the energy to deal with all of it.
“I’ll be back tomorrow for my things.”
I open a drawer and grab a pair of pajamas. Jett shackles my wrist before I can gather any more clothes.
“You are not leaving.”
I shake off his hold. “You don’t own me.”
“I want you to be comfortable. You’re carrying my baby.”
Not this again. “Stop saying Little Bean is yours. You don’t want to be the father of the baby.”
“Wrong. I am the father of this baby.”
A spark of hope flutters in my stomach but I ignore it. It’s probably indigestion from those spicy nachos I ate at the airport. I’m not getting my hopes up again. I’m not letting him hurt me again.
“I told you, Jett. You’re either all in or all out. I won’t accept anything else.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I know. I’m all in.”
Butterflies explode in my stomach. “You are?” Dare I hope?
“I am.” He kisses my forehead.
“You’re sure? You’re not going to back out when you get scared again?”
He sighs as he grasps my hand and leads me to the bed.
“I need to tell you about my past.”
My eyes widen. “You’re going to tell me about your past?”
Jett keeps his past hidden. Mike may be an asshole but he’s helped Jett to hide his past from the media. I don’t know what’s a bigger miracle. Mike not jabbering to the press about Jett’s past. Or Jett’s past remaining a secret when he’s famous and the paparazzi would pay big bucks for his story.
“I don’t enjoy discussing my past. It isn’t pretty.”
I blow out a breath. “I want to say you don’t need to tell me, but I need to know. I need to know why you wouldn’t claim Little Bean as your own.”
He swallows. “You have a right to know.”
He stares off into the distance as he begins. “I don’t know who my parents are. I never met them. I was abandoned as a baby.”
I bite my tongue before I gasp. What kind of person abandons a baby?
“I grew up in care. No one adopted me as a baby since I was sickly.”
I want to ask what was wrong with him but I’m not interrupting him now. I can’t chance him stopping.
“By the time I was ten, I was perfectly healthy but the chance for adoption was gone. I moved from place to place. Never settling anywhere. Never finding a home.”
He turns to me. “This is why I didn’t want to be a father. I don’t know how to be one. I never had one. The people who took me in as a foster child weren’t my parents. Most of them were in it for the cash. You deserve better than the likes of me.”
I frown. I hate when he puts himself down. “Not having a dad doesn’t mean you won’t be a great one. You’re awesome with Isla.”
He scowls. “She’s an honorary niece, not my daughter.”
“The principal is the same. You make sure she’s safe, teach her about life, and don’t let her eat too much chocolate.”
“You make it sound easy.”
I chuckle. “It’s not easy, but it’s not complicated either.” I squeeze his hands. “You can do this, Jett.”
He frowns. “There’s more to my story.”
Oh no. What I’ve already heard has been heartbreaking. I don’t know if I can handle more. But I won’t be a wimp. I need to be strong for him. I nod for him to continue.
“When I was thirteen, a girl came to live in the house where I was. She was nine but small for her age. Frail and frightened. She had been living with her aunt, but the aunt died and she had no other relatives. Cindy was adorable. She had the biggest smile. She latched onto me right away. She followed me wherever I went.
The house we were living in wasn’t great. There were too many kids and not enough space or food. When I saw the other kids bullying her, I took her under my wing. I made sure she had enough food and helped her with her homework.”
My heart warms at the image of a thirteen-year-old Jett looking out for an adorable little girl.
“One day I had to stay after school for detention. Cindy wanted to wait for me but hanging around school after hours was asking for trouble. I told her to go back to the house. It was the biggest mistake of my life. When I got there, she was dead.”
My stomach hollows out and I place a protective hand over my bump. “What happened?”
“The other kids were fooling around on the stairs. They dared her to slide down the railing. She was probably afraid to say no. They’d tease her if she didn’t join them. She fell. She hit her head and broke her neck.”
I throw my arms around Jett and hold him close. “It wasn’t your fault.”
He pushes me away and jumps to his feet. “If I had been there, she never would have been fooling around on the stairs.”
I stand and place my hand on his shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself. You were a child yourself.”
“I was thirteen. I was old enough to know better.”
“Listen to yourself. You were thirteen.”
He inhales a deep breath and turns to face me. “This is why I didn’t want to take responsibility for Little Bean. I don’t know how to be a father. I probably shouldn’t be a father.”
I scowl at him. “It wasn’t your fault. I’ll repeat myself until I’m blue in the face.”
He kisses my nose. “Think of the baby.”
“I am. I want Little Bean to have two parents.”
“I said I’m all in and I mean it. I made mistakes in my past, but I don’t want this baby to grow up without a father.”
Warmth fills me. Jett is claiming Little Bean. I won’t have to do this alone.
“Good. We can co-parent.”
He growls. “We’re not co-parenting.”
I retreat a step. “You are not stealing this baby from me.”
“Nope. But there’s no need to co-parent when the parents are together.”
My head rears back. “Together? You and I aren’t together.”
I quash the hope trying to escape. This can’t be real. I must be dreaming.
“We are from now on.”
“And you just decided this on my behalf?”
His smile is smug. “Yep.”
He’s offering me everything I’ve ever wanted, but I still can’t believe it. “What if I don’t want to be with you?”
“I’ll change your mind since you’re the only person I want to be with.”
Tingles erupt throughout my body. Jett only wants me? I’ve been hoping to hear those words for years now. Maybe I’m not dreaming. Maybe this is real. “What?”
He cradles my face in his hands. “You, my feisty girl who drives me absolutely bananas with how stubborn you are, are the only person I want to be with.”
“And what about the two women you were with last week?” I spit out the question. I don’t want to be with a man who can’t keep it in his pants.
“I told you. Nothing happened.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “Nothing happened? They were naked and nothing happened?”
“I was trying to forget you. To get you out of my mind. It didn’t work. The second one of them touched me, I wanted to hurl.”
I snort. “I bet that went over well.”
“They were pretty pissed when I stopped the party to chase after you.”
“To chase after me?” He chased after me? He didn’t stay with those women?
“I’ll always chase after you, Aurora. You try to leave me and I’m chasing after you.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
I know how it feels to have your dream man and for him to then run away. I don’t know if I can survive it again.
“You’re right. It’s not a good idea. It’s an excellent idea.”
“This is a huge change. A week ago, you didn’t want to be a dad.”
He removes my lip from my teeth. “Wrong. A week ago, I thought I couldn’t be a dad. I’m still not sure I can be. I’ll probably suck at it. But I can’t let you go. I can’t let our baby grow up without a father.”
“You can be a dad without us being together.”
“I can, but I won’t be.” His thumbs soothe over the lines in my forehead. “I’ve been trying to resist you since the moment we met and you told me I needed a haircut and then proceeded to make me an appointment before I had a chance to reply.”
“You did need a haircut.”
He chuckles. “What do you say, feisty girl? You ready to take a chance on us?”
Don’t be a chicken, Aurora. He’s offering you the world. Dare to reach for it.
“Okay. Let’s give this a go.”
His blue eyes light with happiness. “You won’t regret this.”
“I’ll probably regret this on a daily basis, but I’ll regret it more if we don’t try.”
“There’s my girl.”
His lips meld to mine and I forget all about how this is a bad idea. How he’s probably going to break my heart.
All that exists now is Jett and his taste and his feel.