Chapter 13
Marina
I watch the city of San Francisco pass by in a blur from my perch in the back seat of the car as Dave drives us to a destination kept more secret than whatever actually happens at Area 51. Zach’s warm, strong hand is wrapped around mine, and his other arm circles gently around my shoulders. The heat of his body is a tonic against my frayed nerves leftover from my morning altercation with Ms. Taft. Everywhere that my softness meets his muscled hardness, I feel the undeniable urge to melt into him. He feels safe. Like home. A calm harbor in the storm that’s become my life right now, and the feeling is equal parts thrilling and frightening.
For the past five years, I’ve relied solely on myself. After listening to all the wrong people giving cheap and easy (and wrong) advice, and being in relationships with people who continued to let me down, I realized that the only person who could pull me out of the hole of poverty and obscurity I’d dug for myself…was me. And that’s how it’s been all this time.
Have I let Ashley, Merry, and Scarlet in? Absolutely. It was hard at first, but my therapist was my lifeline through all the big changes that were necessary in the early days. She helped me find safe ways to learn to trust. Now, they’re more like sisters than friends. It’s different with men.
I barely remember my father. He was never around as an example, so I never learned to form healthy relationships with boys. I was either chasing the wrong ones for approval or running from the boys (and sometimes men), who were even worse. My lost years, as I call them, were a nonstop lesson in staying as far from the opposite sex as possible.
And this leads me to the gorgeous, kind, wonderful, and amazing man I’m sitting next to right now. The one who has me tucked securely against him as if I’m the most precious thing in the world. When I’m with Zach, I’m constantly torn between giving into my fear and running out the door or surrendering to the intense pull I feel whenever he’s near. I could just let it take me out to sea, never to be seen again. I’ll spend my life swimming in the infinite pool of Zach’s affection. But I’m also petrified of what will happen to my heart if I get too close and he leaves.
My own history has taught me that this can’t be real. And if it is real, it’s not for me. I don’t deserve it. It’ll disappear, either because he tires of me or simply because none of this is true and he’s just that good at manipulating me. I’m a novelty. The mermaid who trapped the rock star. His affection will wear off when the story’s played out, leaving me alone and heartbroken. But it doesn’t feel like that. He doesn’t feel like that. And there’s the source of my confusion and fear. What if I’m wrong?
Zach adjusts in his seat, brushing his thigh against mine. Warm, delicious tingles pass between us and I wonder if he feels them too. I look up at him and I’m immediately rewarded with one of his beautiful smiles. His dark brown, slightly wavy collar-length hair is the perfect frame to highlight the warm, intense brown eyes that study me closely. The ever-present stubble on his strong jaw makes him look like he just stepped out of a magazine. My eyes take a roving tour of his full lips, and my pulse immediately quickens when the memory of his feverish, all-consuming kisses flutters through my mind.
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” he asks with a sexy rasp in his voice.
I feel a blush creep across my cheeks. “I’m still trying to figure out where we’re going.”
His smile deepens, and he pulls me closer. That delicious combination of sandalwood and salty sea air fills my senses. I will never get enough of it. I rest my cheek on his shoulder and breathe in.
“It’s called a surprise for a reason, Siren. But we’re nearly there. And I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
I tell my inner control freak to take a seat, then turn my attention back to the city outside the windows before I’m tempted to kiss that perfect mouth of his. We sit in silence, content in each other’s company, until I see a very familiar sight looming outside one of the windows. I sit straight up.
“Are we going to the stadium?”
He lets out a musical laugh. “Maybe.”
I look at the large marquee outside the venue, but it only shows the date of the big charity concert he plays in later this week. There’s nothing scheduled for tonight.
“What’s going on?”
He brings my hand up to his mouth and plants a light kiss on my knuckles, stirring something low in my gut.
“You’ll find out soon enough, Siren.”
I force myself to sit back in the seat as the car gets closer and closer to the stadium, then pulls into the parking lot. Within minutes, we’re driving into the tunnel where I got off Zach’s tour bus just over a week ago. I steal a sideways glance at him as the inside of the car darkens.
“Scene of the crime,” he purrs.
“Crime?” I shoot him a mocking glare.
The car comes to a stop, and Dave opens the door for us. I stay where I am, waiting for an explanation.
“Right,” Zach says with a wry grin. “Are you conveniently forgetting the speed with which you attempted to run from me as soon as we parked the bus in this tunnel on the day we met?”
Guilty, but I don’t plan to confess any time soon.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I reply lightly as I scoot out of the car. I feel his body heat right behind me.
“Wild horses can’t run that fast, Marina.”
I turn away and laugh nervously. He’s not wrong, but I don’t want to talk about my fears right now. I want to go on this date and find out what on earth he has planned. Thankfully, he seems to sense I don’t want to talk about it and he doesn’t push. He unfolds his tall frame as he exits the car and offers me his arm. For a moment, I swear I catch a glimpse of doubt in his eyes, but it disappears under the light of another devilishly handsome grin. I take his arm, and he leads me away from the car and further into the tunnel.
“Can you tell me what we’re doing now that we’re here?”
He continues leading me down the tunnel, and it begins to curve to the left.
“It’s all in the presentation,” he replies.
“What does that mean?”
He laces our fingers together as we approach a man who appears to be waiting for us. He’s dressed casually, but I can see he’s wearing a polo shirt with the stadium’s logo on it. Zach kisses the back of my hand as we continue walking toward the man.
“It means you’re just going to have to wait, my sweet little control freak.”
I let out a sigh in mock frustration.
“I feel attacked,” I tease as we come to a stop and Zach shakes hands with the man.
“Mr. Adams and Miss MacArthur, welcome,” the man greets us. He nods at Zach. “Everything is ready as you requested.”
I listen curiously, but I’m not rewarded with any more details. The man gestures down a smaller tunnel that points to the center of the stadium. Zach slaps a hand on the man’s shoulder.
“Thanks very much,” Zach says quickly, leading me down the next tunnel.
I see little glimpses of the main stadium, but we’re underneath it. I think. Actually, I have no idea where we are. A slow smile spreads across my face as anticipation builds. My pulse picks up as I try to imagine what Zach has planned. I cling to his hand, letting him lead me forward into the unknown. The unknown isn’t so scary with him.
We walk through the tunnel opening and I recognize where I am immediately. I’ve seen enough football games to know we just walked out of the tunnel the players come running out of, but there’s no football field in sight. Everything is all set up for the benefit concert. A huge stage looms ahead of us, facing out into the rest of the stadium. I stop dead in my tracks so I can have a moment to take it all in. It’s gigantic, and I can’t even see the whole thing. We’ve come in on the side of the stage. Zach turns to make sure I’m alright, and I nod at him.
“I know this is no big deal to you,” I begin breathlessly. “But this is so cool. I’ve never been down on this level before.”
He leans forward and gently places a light kiss on my lips, then offers me the most mischievous grin.
“Are you hungry, love?”
I blink back my surprise. “We’re eating here? ”
Suddenly I envision a dinner of stadium hot dogs and fries. Perhaps dessert will be ice cream served in a helmet-shaped dish. Or churros? Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad. I give him a curious look. Are there churros?
“Come on,” he says, leading me toward the stairs to the stage.
We climb the stairs, which are painted black with yellow tape striped along the edges so everyone can see the steps in the dark. Everything on the side of the stage is black: the floors, the walls, and the curtains that divide the backstage area into wings. I squeeze Zach’s hand a little tighter.
“Here we are,” he says as he leads me out onto the stage, and I freeze in my tracks.
There’s a dining table for two set up at center stage, complete with a white tablecloth and elegant place settings. A beautiful floral centerpiece, made of violet and pink hydrangeas and cream-colored roses, adorns the table. Candles of every shape and size decorate the space around the table in a variety of holders, on every surface. It’s absolutely beautiful.
“Zach…”
He turns to me and pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, placing my hands flat against his chest as I gaze up into his eyes. I look around at this beautiful setting, and my throat constricts. He did this for me. I smooth his shirt under my fingers, and his pectoral muscles flex slightly, sending a little thrill up my spine. I shake my head as I glance over at the table again, my eyes filling with tears as my emotions hit me full force. No one has ever done anything like this for me. It’s overwhelming in a way I didn’t expect.
“Hey, there,” he says in a voice laced with concern. “It’s just dinner.”
I sputter out a laugh, wiping away a stray tear.
“Only a rock star would say this is just dinner.”
He watches me cautiously for a moment .
“Have I gone too far?” he asks quietly. “If this is too much, I apologize. Truly.”
His expression is a mix of concern and regret, and a pang of guilt nudges at me. I glance around at the beautiful setting, something I know he did just for me, and the fear hits me full force. All the what-ifs, too. It comes at me like a tidal wave. I close my eyes.
“Things like this don’t happen to me,” I say with a shaky voice.
I take in a shuddering breath as his large hands gently rub up and down my back. He presses his forehead to mine, and we’re silent for a moment. It’s surreal to be in this gigantic stadium, the ghosts of 80,000 seats surrounding us on all sides, and yet we’re entirely alone here.
“I’m so sorry, Marina.”
I shake my head and fist my hands in his shirt, shaking him a tiny bit.
“Do not apologize for doing something so incredibly romantic.”
He brushes a tear from my cheek as I stare up at him. He looks as confused as I feel. I can practically hear my therapist screaming in my head, begging me to tell Zach about my fears. About the fact that almost everything good has been taken from me in my life. About how hard it is for me to trust that good things can happen. I can’t make myself do it. Instead of baring my soul, I clam up. And I hate myself for it.
“This is the sweetest, most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me,” I say with a sniff.
I quickly pull myself together and place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. He accepts it with a look like he’s not sure whether I’ll implode or I’m truly all right. I smile up at him.
“I was just a little overwhelmed. I’m okay.”
He watches me carefully as if I’ll break at the slightest touch.
“You keep saying that,” he hedges. “I’m not sure I believe it. ”
We’re interrupted by a tuxedoed waiter wheeling a linen-covered cart towards us from the other side of the stage. Slowly, I pull away from Zach and smile at the waiter.
“Right,” Zach says in resignation. “For now, let’s have our dinner. But we’re going to have a proper conversation later.”
He takes my hand and leads me to the table, pulling my chair out for me, then he sits. We both put our napkins in our laps as the waiter makes a show of uncorking the wine before pouring it. Before long, a sumptuous dinner is plated and served. There is a beautiful Caesar salad, followed by an appetizer of Dungeness crab cakes, and finally a platter of grilled seasonal fish to choose from. Mushroom Spatzle and seasonal vegetables round out the feast.
“This is incredible, Zach,” I say as I dig in.
He eyes me warily. “I’m sorry if the big reveal was overwhelming.”
I shake my head and hold up my hand to stop him.
“No, I’m okay. And, as you said, it’s just dinner.”
He nods and takes a bite. I don’t want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me, so I point over my shoulder at the empty stadium.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to perform when this place is full.”
He raises his brows and grins at me. “There’s nothing like it.”
I love how he lights up when he talks about his passions, and performing is definitely on that list. I may not have been a super fan when we met, but I have my share of favorite songs from The Royal Rebels. He is electric on stage, and it’s mostly because you can just tell he’s having a great time. In my whole life, I’ve never been able to let go like that. Well, at least not without negative results. My teen years were nothing but acting out and letting go, but I was never having a great time…I was just lost.
“So many famous bands and singers will be on this stage soon,” I continue, “and here I am having dinner on it. ”
We both laugh softly.
“Not only them. You’re eating dinner where Lady Gaga has performed.”
My eyes grow wide. “And Taylor Swift.”
He nods, then I let out a gasp.
“Justin Bieber!”
He lets out a rich, hearty laugh and I take another bite of my grilled salmon.
“I’m feeling a little jealous, Siren. You said his name with such reverence.”
I wink at Zach. “He’s married. I missed my chance.”
Zach takes a sip of his wine and his eyes darken as he slowly smiles.
“No, beautiful. He missed his chance.”
Suddenly the air in the whole stadium changes, all the way up to the nosebleed seats. My throat goes dry. I’m not sure if my knees would work if I stood up right now. Just call me noodle knees. To have a man like Zach look at me this way…well, it’s another thing I’m just not used to. It’s not just that he’s handsome on a criminal level, but he’s thoughtful. And kind. And he smells incredibly good. There must be something wrong with him, but I can’t possibly try to figure it out right now while he’s looking at me like this. I swallow the heavenly bite of salmon in my mouth.
“I’m sure he’s devastated,” I chide.
Another devilish grin. “He would be if he were smart.”
I officially have no saliva left. I’m out. I feel my throat bob.
“Actually, he’s quite a nice bloke,” Zach offers lightly. “I met him at an awards show a few years back.”
I blink a few times.
“Marina?”
I shake my head. “Sorry. I just realized for the first time…you actually know them all, don’t you? Famous musicians and singers. ”
“Some, yeah. It’s not like we all live on the same block.”
Another question pops into my head, but I decide not to ask it. It must be written all over my face, though.
“What was that look for?”
I smirk. “I sort of thought you lived on the bus.”
He makes an adorable, shocked face. “What? With the guys? And the bunks? Siren!”
I laugh hard. “I’m sorry! From what I gather, you spend most of your time on the road going from concert to concert.”
He nods. “Well, I do happen to own a home, thank you very much.”
I bow my head slightly, smiling softly. “Please accept my apologies and tell me about your home.”
He shakes his head. “Only if you can tell me where it’s located, Little Miss Know-It-All. Where do you think I live?”
I laugh again, and it feels wonderful to have this kind of silly, laid-back conversation with him. Maybe this is why I’m having an increasingly difficult time seeing him as the royal millionaire rock star he is. He’s so normal despite it all. I decide to go for the obvious answer.
“L.A.”
He scoffs. “Try again.”
“Hawaii.”
Another shake of his head. “Three strikes and you’re out, gorgeous.”
“London?”
He makes a game show buzzer noise and gives me a thumbs-down sign. I throw my hands in the air.
“I give up!”
I put my knife and fork down and toss my napkin onto the table, unable to fit in another bite. I turn to face the empty stadium, trying to imagine it filled with screaming fans. It must be an incredible rush. I hear movement behind me and Zach is out of his chair, holding a hand out to me. I put my hand in his and stand, walking with him until we’re standing at the edge of the stage.
“I can’t imagine what it must be like,” I say quietly. “To stand here and sing in front of so many cheering fans.”
He steps behind me and pulls me back against his chest. The warmth from his body wraps me in its own embrace as his arms create that familiar, safe cocoon I’m quickly learning to gravitate towards whenever we’re in the same space together. He rests his chin on top of my head.
“When a stadium is filled with fans, the energy of it is a living thing. Different shows have different energies, depending on the music and the performer’s dynamics. I can’t speak for others, but the guys and I have worked hard to create a really good vibe at our concerts. It’s positive and outrageous and just…fun.”
I nod, trying to picture it. He reaches in front of me and points out into the floor seats directly ahead.
“For a Rebels concert, there would be a large catwalk out there,” he explains. “It’s an extension of the stage, protruding into the audience to give us more space to play.”
“Play?”
He moves his lips close to my ear. “You’ve never been to a Rebels concert?”
The most delicious chills cover every surface of my skin, and I shudder, then inch closer to the shelter of his body. He wraps his arms tighter and places a whisper-light kiss on the shell of my ear. This is it. Right here. This is my favorite place in the world. I’m not gonna lie…it scares me. A lot. I don’t want to like it here. I don’t want to feel these feelings for him. I mean, I don’t want to catch feelings for any man, especially not one of the world’s biggest rock stars. But those feelings are here. What do I do when he leaves? What happens to me? Who picks up the pieces of Marina after he’s gone? I’ve spent years picking up the pieces of me that my childhood trauma sprayed everywhere. I close my eyes and shove it all down like I know I shouldn’t.
I turn my head to steal a glance at him. “I would have gone to a Rebels concert, but I’ve been foolishly wasting my paychecks on rent and food.”
He pulls me even closer, gently rocking us back and forth.
“I don’t know,” he says in a raspy voice. “Maybe you dated some chap who had excellent taste in music, and he got you tickets for the best date ever. But since I don’t like thinking about you on a date with anyone but me, I’ll drop that. Luckily, I know a guy who can get you really good tickets.”
I laugh, and he swings me out of his arms and leads me in a slow dance to no music. Not that we really need it. When we’re together, we’re a force all our own. A force that makes me throw all my rules right out the window. One that has us dancing on stage in the middle of a huge stadium like it’s just an average Tuesday. Not for other couples, perhaps. But normal for us. If there is an us. Is there? I want there to be. There, I said it.
“The catwalk enables more of the audience to get a better view of us when we’re performing. Especially if I’m just doing vocals and I’m not on an instrument. I love running out there to engage with the fans.”
He spins me around again, then pulls me close.
“What’s it like to sing in a stadium like this?”
He places a soft kiss on my temple. “Sssh. Let’s finish this dance first.”
I smile and follow his lead. “There’s no music.”
Zach begins humming a soft melody against my ear. I recognize it, but can’t place it. Whatever it is, it’s perfect, and my heart is in mortal danger here. He’s tearing down my resolve in every way possible. He hums the song beautifully, and I want to ask what it is, but I don’t want to break the spell, so I just let go for once and let him lead me around. As he turns us around and around, I look at the candles on stage, the beautiful table, and the empty stadium…committing them all to memory. Whatever happens, I never want to forget that someone went to all this trouble for me. This is the most special night I’ve ever had.
I still can’t name the song when it’s over. Zach places his hands on either side of my face and brings his nose to mine. His gorgeous scent envelops me.
“I really want to kiss you,” he rumbles. “But we’ll make dessert late, and then the second part of my surprise will start late.”
I pull away slightly, eyes wide. “There’s dessert?”
I’m rewarded with a husky laugh and a quick, soft kiss before he leads me back to the table. At some point, the waiter cleared all our dishes without so much as clanging a plate. Our napkins are refolded at our seats, and there is a particularly delicious-looking personal-sized dessert at each of our place settings.
“Oooh! That looks amazing!”
Zach waits for me to sit, then pushes my chair in for me. He walks around to his side of the table and sits.
“I thought a proper English trifle might be fun.”
I pick up my fork. “I agree already, and I’ve never had one before!”
Zach sits back in his chair, and a brilliant, beautiful smile spreads across his face. He looks like he’s having the best time, and I laugh softly under my breath.
“What?” I ask, my fork still paused in mid-air.
He shakes his head. There’s a secret shining in his eyes, and I want to ask him a million questions to sniff it out, but I also don’t want to know. With Zach, that seems to be the theme of my feelings: equal parts wanting to know and wanting to run .
Well, if he’s not going to tell me what he’s thinking, I’m going to dig into this rich, creamy looking thing. There are layers of what looks like pudding, jam, and whipped cream over a base layer of ladyfingers. I load my fork with a little of everything and take my first bite.
“Wow,” I moan, still savoring the scrumptious simplicity of the dessert.
“Well, I can relax now,” he teases, taking a bite of his own trifle. “The King could have my head if I failed to represent my country so miserably that I couldn’t get an American to appreciate trifle.”
I only nod as I go in for another bite. This is too good for words, but movement out of the corner of my eye distracts me, and I look up in time to see Rick, Jimmy, and Sam walk on stage from the wings. Ricky’s got his electric guitar, and Jimmy’s holding his bass guitar. I blink back my surprise and lower my fork.
“Well done, Duke!” Sam says, slapping Zach on the shoulder. He eyes the table appreciatively. “You pulled out all the stops to impress her.”
I stifle a giggle as Zach gives him the side-eye. I sit back in my seat and wave to all the guys, then look to Zach.
“The second part of your surprise is inviting your friends to join us?”
Rick winks at me, throws his guitar strap over his head, and starts flipping switches and connecting things in the background. Sam snickers under his breath as he pulls a pair of drumsticks from his back pocket, walks to the drum set, and sits down.
“They’re fifteen minutes early,” Zach explains, raising his voice and offering them a mock scowl. “But I spoke to them about it earlier, and we all agreed it would be fun to get you to sing with a proper band.”
I set my fork down with a thud. “What?”
Zach nods. “Hey, you’ve already sung in a recording studio. I wanted to elevate your experience this time. ”
My gaze flicks to Jimmy, who is picking out a few notes on his bass guitar. He bobs his chin in my direction.
“C’mon, Marina, let’s have some fun!”
Sam beats on his drums. “Yeah!!!”
I laugh out loud, my heart suddenly pounding wildly at the idea of singing with a band to back me up. The thirteen-year-old Marina in my heart is squealing with excitement. And not just any band…The Royal Rebels. When will I ever have this chance again? And doing the brave things has been working out for me lately, so I’m totally going to go for it. As soon as I stand up, Zach jumps out of his chair.
“That’s my girl!”
I clap my hands with excitement as Zach steps into the wings and comes back with a mic and a stand. I step back and watch Zach and the guys set everything up. Finally, Zach motions for me to stand at the mic. He taps it with his finger, and I hear the sound amplify out of the speakers.
“Now, this is just for fun, so we don’t have the proper setup,” he explains. “The rest of the sound system will be set up at the benefit concert, but we don’t need that for tonight. If there were fans with paid tickets up on the highest level, they’d be rioting over sound quality.”
I nod, unable to get the idiotic grin off my face.
“All that to say, what shall we play for you, my lady?”
My mind goes blank again. I shake my head.
“I’m so excited I can’t think of a thing.”
“Let’s warm up our voices first. Something simple?”
I nod, and Zach grabs a rhythm guitar from somewhere, then comes back to me at the mic stand.
“Ready?”
I smile up at him. “Go for it.”
Jimmy shouts from behind us. “That’s the spirit, Marina! ”
Zach begins playing “You Are My Sunshine” on the guitar and I laugh out loud, then immediately join him in singing it. The band joins in, exchanging curious looks with each other, but they just go with it. In the background, the waiter is cleaning up the dishes and linens. Two assistants come out to move the dining table and chairs off stage, and I silently lament the loss of that trifle. I keep singing with Zach because even that trifle is no temptation compared to any time Zach and I sing together. We end the song with a light, playful kiss on one side of the mic stand. I distinctly hear Jimmy snickering again, and I roll my eyes at him. He is definitely a nine-year-old in an adult’s body.
For the next several minutes, we get pretty silly. The guys just start playing random songs, and Zach and I jump in to sing them. Country, rock, pop, you name it. We sing it all, sometimes laughing through half of it, but it’s such great fun to be on a real stage with a real band behind me. It’s an experience I’ll never forget.
Zach takes one of my hands in his. “Siren…I have an idea.”
I turn to face him fully. “Tell me.”
“We’re going to sing it at the benefit concert this week as our closing number,” he explains, looking like he’s not sure I’ll like his idea. “The Sound of Silence…just as you and I sang in the studio.”
“Oh yes!”
I don’t have to consider whether I want to sing it with him or not. Our voices are perfect for it, and we sounded so beautiful that time. The night I threw all caution to the wind and kissed him. My heart flips just thinking about it.
Before I know it, we’re all set up to sing. Zach stays at the mic with me, so Rick switches to piano. The music begins, and I close my eyes. I feel Zach take both my hands in his as he begins singing the first notes.
Zach’s voice is so unique when he sings this song. It’s honeyed, smoky, and rich. It’s an instrument in itself. I open my eyes to watch him sing, and our eyes meet. His expression is still as he expertly brings a solemn, haunting quality to his performance. My part comes up, and I close my eyes again. I’ve been singing it around the apartment ever since that night at the studio, so I don’t worry about looking up the words anymore.
I lift my voice to meet Zach’s, keeping my energy in check for this first part, and then we gradually increase the power of our voices as we move through to the end of the song. I don’t think about our surroundings, the band, or anything else as we sing together. The perfect blend of our voices is what carries me through. When I open my eyes at the end, Zach is smiling with pride, and Rick, Jimmy, and Sam are still as death.
I shrug at them. “What?”
Rick gets up from the piano stool.
“That’s a real powerhouse of a voice you’ve got there, Marina.”
Sam and Jimmy shake their heads in agreement. Sam gets up and walks over to us, motioning for Rick and Jimmy to follow.
“Time for a company meeting.”
I raise my eyebrows in question, my gaze flicking between all of them. Zach pulls me into his side and wraps an arm around me, and I slip my arm around his waist, which feels like the most natural thing in the world.
“Fancy talk for saying that the band needs to make a decision,” Jimmy explains with a smirk. He looks at Sam. “So what are we deciding?”
Sam looks at the guys one at a time, then lands his gaze squarely on me. He looks at me with a glint in his eye that makes me nervous. Apparently, Rick is a mind reader because he suddenly smacks his hands on top of his head.
“Yes! I vote yes!!”
Jimmy grins wickedly. “If we’re talking about what I think we’re talking about? Absolutely.”
I shake my head at all of them. “What are you talking about?”
Zach pulls me in tighter as if he’s afraid I’ll run when I know. I look up at him as I feel my pulse picking up, somehow knowing their plans include something about me.
“Marina, darling,” Zach begins, that same proud smile on his face. “Would you like to be the first-ever guest vocalist when the Rebels perform at the benefit this weekend?”
***
Zach
I could fall into the endless, emerald green pools that are staring at me in utter disbelief, but I’m torn between deciding whether I need to give Marina more details or talk her off the ledge. Her eyes can’t get any bigger, and her mouth pops open slightly as her gaze flicks between the four of us. Once again, I feel a strong urge to cover the exits in case she decides to bolt. Sam speaks first.
“Marina, don’t look so freaked. It’s all just for fun.”
She just blinks at him and turns to me, shaking her head.
“I can’t do that,” she says in almost a whisper. “It’s thousands of people. I can’t.”
I nod slowly, giving Marina a little squeeze. “That’s completely fine, Marina.”
Rick nods. “Yeah, it was just an idea. We didn’t mean to…do whatever we did.”
I give Rick a look. Not helping. Gently, I turn Marina to face me.
“Hey,” I say gently. “There is no expectation, Siren. None at all.”
She nods quickly, her throat bobbing hard as she gulps. I know she’s thinking about her job again, about the loss of her income, her apartment, and everything she’s fought so hard to achieve. And I know her well enough to know that offering to make it all irrelevant, financially speaking, is not going to do me any favors. Money isn’t an issue for me, and it hasn’t been for years. I would help in a heartbeat, but that’s not the road to take here. Marina is fiercely independent and very proud of what she’s accomplished, as she should be. But she still believes it’s all on very shaky ground. I’m not sure how to make her see that I won’t let her fall.
Her eyes scan my face, searching for truth. I reach up and brush my fingers over her cheek, then pull her in close. I hold her for what feels like an eternity before I feel the tension starting to leave her body. I make eye contact with the guys over her shoulder, my sigh of relief lessening their alarm at her reaction to what they thought was no big deal. We’re laid-back people, but our childhoods were all vastly different from Marina’s. I get it. She’s fought hard to get here. I don’t know how to make her see that she isn’t fighting alone anymore. She hasn’t been for a while. Ashley, Merry, and Scarlet are proof of that. Any one of them would come out guns blazing if anyone tried to hurt her. And now she has me as well. I just don’t know how to make her see that.
“Thank you,” she whispers against my chest.
My heart twists into knots at the guilt in her voice, and I know it’s there because she still doesn’t think she can ask for what she needs. I give Rick a look over Marina’s shoulder, and he motions for the guys to get back to their instruments. I stay where I am, holding her, and soon the simple strains of “Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night come from the band.
I feel Marina pull away from me slightly, and I’m relieved to see her fighting back laughter. I grin and swing her away from me as I sing the opening lyrics, then motion to her to follow me to the mic.
“Let’s go, Siren,” I growl. “We’re not done playing yet.”
I see relief flood her face when she realizes no one is angry, no one is offended. No one will try to talk her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. There is something shining in her eyes that looks an awful lot like gratitude, and I feel hopeful that she’ll come to realize I’m one hundred percent Team Marina. I push everything else out of my mind as she steps up to the mic. That familiar light of pure joy shines from her face as she sings, and I lose myself inside it. I go willingly, like a moth to a flame.