Chapter 17
The Sunday movie made her laugh, and it took Justine’s mind off yesterday’s unreal time with Xavier.
After the amusing horror-comedy, she and Katie sat in their favorite diner for an early dinner when Katie said, “Okay, spill it. Something happened. I can tell. You’re being weird.”
“Define weird.”
“It’s not something I can put my finger on. You seem preoccupied.”
“Um, yeah. With that movie we just saw.”
“No, it’s more than that. Tell me.”
The server stopped by their table. “Ladies, can I take your order?”
After he left, Justine said to Katie, “Well, yesterday, ah, Xavier came over.” She glanced around and lowered her voice, leaning toward her friend. “We had sex.”
“Yuss!” Katie pumped her hand in the air.
“Shh.” Justine frowned, and Katie hunched a little in her seat.
“Sorry. Well? I need specifics, woman.”
Without going into too much detail, Justine confessed what had happened.
Katie just sat there for a moment. “Holy bananas. All morning long? Like, for hours?”
“Yeah.” Justine sighed. “It was like a dream.”
“Or a porn movie.”
Justine flushed. “Indoor voice, Katie.”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just... Xavier. Wow. I knew he had the hots for you. Obviously, you felt it too. So now what?”
“That’s the weird thing. Our chemistry was crazy. I’ve never been with anyone like that before. Like, we were made for each other.” She groaned. “That sounds so stupid, but I can’t explain it.”
“I get you. The hard part is when you have physical chemistry with someone but nothing else. So you think the great time between the sheets should equal a great relationship, and it doesn’t.” Katie huffed. “Although at this point, I’d settle for some great between-the-sheets action.”
“Oh, so your last date didn’t work out?”
“Work out? He was rude to the servers, drank too much, and insisted I split the bill, of which I really owed maybe a third. Needless to say, I told him never to call me again.”
“You told him that to his face?”
“Of course not. He was obnoxious and drunk. After I shoved him into an Uber, I waited until the next day. Then I texted him and told him to lose my number. Haven’t heard from him since.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, so if you have something golden with Xavier, why not go for it?”
“That’s the weird thing.” Justine paused while the server brought their food.
As they ate, she continued, “We hugged and hung out for a while after all the sex. Then we talked about what happened. I swear, it felt surreal. I wasn’t embarrassed or anything.
Somehow, we agreed to continue being friends and not let what we did affect that. ”
“So he friend-zoned you after he got what he wanted?” Katie looked disappointed.
“Nope. He asked me what I wanted. We’re staying friends and just friends because I want to.”
“Really? You don’t want to date him?”
“I do, but I don’t.” Justine sipped her drink and thought about it.
“I mean, I’d love a relationship with someone who put me first for once.
But I don’t want to tempt fate by losing the first guy friend I’ve had in.
.. Well, in forever. Xavier’s so great. He doesn’t push me for anything I don’t want to give.
But maybe that’s because we’re just friends right now.
And yes, before you’re skeevy little mind can add ‘with benefits,’ fine, with benefits.
But I think maybe we should just keep it to that one time. ”
“You mean that one morning.”
Justine grinned. “It was a morning I’ll always treasure.”
They ate in silence for a bit before Katie said, “I see your point. I mean, you and Xavier are vibing as friends. You need more friends, and guys give you a perspective we just don’t have.
I have to say, I like the guy. He’s pretty funny and seems self-confident.
He held his own with you on Friday night, and apparently on Saturday. ”
“Katie.”
Katie laughed. “You know what I mean. I’m happy for you, really.”
After a pause, Justine nudged her. “But...?”
“But I think you’re letting fear of failure stop you from maybe having a kickass boyfriend.
Before you come at me, I know you just got out of a mess with Mitch.
And you really should have quality me-time before hooking up with someone else.
Normally. But how many Xaviers are there?
He’s handsome, smart, independent, funny, and likes you for you.
I’m just saying. Friendship is great, but so is the possibility for more. Just think about it.”
“I know. You’re right. But it feels...” Justine didn’t know how to explain it.
Her sexual marathon with Xavier had been idyllic.
Almost unreal. Then she’d floated back down to earth to have a mature conversation with a man who wanted to let her set the pace.
Xavier hadn’t pressured her or made her feel awkward for having been with him.
She’d never experienced that kind of liberation before, and she wanted to see where that feeling took her.
Plus, he’d been adamant that he didn’t want their friendship to change. Knowing he valued her for more than her boobs gave her all the warm fuzzies.
Katie put a hand over Justine’s on the table. “I’m not badgering you. I swear. I only want my best friend to be happy.”
Justine glanced at their hands and smirked. “Does this mean I’m on a higher tier of best friend than Jon?” Katie’s other best pal and a really funny guy. Unfortunately, Justine and he never seemed to be in the same place at the same time. He had a very odd schedule.
“Yes, but don’t tell him that.” Katie looked around, as if Jon would pop up unexpectedly. “Besides, he doesn’t need me as much. He’s got a fiancé now.”
“No kidding?” Justine blinked. “Who? When did this happen?”
“It just happened, like, yesterday.” Katie frowned. “I want to be happy for him. I really do. But I have some reservations. He’s so smart and funny. I don’t know about Alan. He seems a lot more needy than is healthy. But he’s buff and famous—he models—and I think Jon’s blinded by all that.”
“He was pretty handsome.” And a bit narcissistic, in Justine’s opinion. Having met him and Jon two weeks ago at the bar, she hadn’t been overly impressed with Jon’s boyfriend. “I think you might be right. Jon can do so much better.”
While they continued eating and Katie gossiped about Jon and his many exes, Justine considered the state of her own personal life. She still couldn’t believe she and Xavier had hooked up, that it had been so good, and that she felt comfortable where they’d left things.
Normally, Justine dated men who liked to make the rules. But this time she was in the driver’s seat. And not because Xavier was trying to control her in some weird way or make her feel responsible for the totality of their friendship. She genuinely liked the fact that he respected her.
Huh. Had she ever been friends with a guy before dating him?
She didn’t think so. Most of the guys she’d dated she’d first met through friends or dating apps. The whole point of meeting each other had been to gauge a potential love interest. But Xavier had been a friend first. Not had been, was still a friend.
She felt good about her choices and paid more attention to Katie’s complaining, hoping she and he could make their odd friendship work.
Tuesday, Justine’s boss from hell pulled her into his office for her yearly review.
Finally.
“Justine, I so love working with you. Your drive and dedication to the company are what make Mayze Creative such a great place.” Frank beamed with enthusiasm. “Now let’s talk about your projects.”
Frank appeared especially slick today, his dark hair styled just so, the wattage of his bright white smile and the approval in his light eyes shining.
He had his Best Boss mug turned to face her, and even that didn’t make him look like a putz.
The guy could sell anything to anyone. Charismatic yet incompetent at the same time.
Why couldn’t she have that same gene? Instead, Justine came across as pleasant and smart but weak.
A pretty doormat, she’d once heard her father say of her.
Trying to push her father’s voice away, she focused instead on the paper file Frank read from.
They poured over her positive client feedback before touching on several projects of Frank’s she’d helped with. He had nothing but glowing praise for her, and her excitement over her pending raise grew.
“You are a wonderful addition to the team, as I said before. So I wanted to extend Laura’s role to you.
She recently left the company, and it was a minor position, but you’re so capable, we think you’re a good fit for it.
And of course, there’s that raise we promised you.
” He mentioned a figure lower than she’d anticipated.
It took her a moment to understand what he’d said. “Wait. So I’m moving into Laura’s job?”
“In addition to the one you have now.”
He must have seen her confusion, because he explained, “The company is going through a restructuring, and you know what that means.” A fake laugh. “Fortunately, you have no worries about staying on. You’re a team player, and I made sure to let the higher-ups know that.”
“Thank you.” For stating the truth. But she had to make sense of his words. “Just to be clear, I’m getting a raise lower than I was promised when I signed on. And you’re giving me another job as well?”
“What? No, no. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m sorry for the confusion.”
She nodded, glad to have been misinformed. Then Frank told her exact same thing but in different words. He called Laura’s job important but low effort, and they needed someone smart to take over the responsibility. A team player who would serve the company’s needs without a problem.
Without the pay.
“I’m sorry, Frank. I just keep hearing that I need to do more work. The work of two people, yet I’m only getting paid for one position, and at much less than our competitors’.” She knew because she’d looked.
Frank appeared disappointed. “I’m sorry if I’m not explaining it to you correctly.”
Oh no, I understood you perfectly.
“It’s just... A lot of our people were let go. I fought to keep your position. But not because I’m a great boss or anything,” he said, trying to downplay his ability that didn’t actually exist. “But because you deserve it. You’ve been nothing but a help to me and this department.”
You need to earn your place, she heard her father say time and time again.
We Ferreras have always had to work twice as hard as others because we don’t come from money, but we manage to rise to the top.
Adversity is just an obstacle, Justine. Quitting gets you nowhere. Keep working on you and you’ll see.
She did know that several people had left the company, but from what she’d heard, it was to take better employment—with a commensurate salary—elsewhere.
Frustrated and let down, she felt on the verge of tears. Not at all how a professional would handle a meeting with her boss.
She swallowed down her disappointment. “Thank you for the meeting, Frank.”
He smiled, relief clear on his face. “Good. Well, why don’t you take off early today?”
She glanced at the clock on his wall. She only had another fifteen minutes before her day ended. What a guy.
“I’ll have Rebecca send over Laura’s workload, so you should have it first thing in the morning.”
With nothing more to say, she stood, nodded to him, and left.
Her drive felt empty, her thoughts and feelings all over the place. Needing to take the edge off, once home, she dressed in running clothes and made herself more miserable by running to exhaustion.
She returned home as the sun set and sat on a bench in the inner courtyard, trying to let the soothing sounds of the fountain wash away her worries.
All the comebacks she should have shot at lazy-ass Frank came to her, some more vitriolic than others. A lot of cursing, slurs on his parentage, his laziness, and those bleached teeth fighting for prominence.
But worst of all, she sweltered under a terrible self-loathing, her inability to stand up for herself a mire of self-disgust that threatened to drown her.
“Well, neighbor. Fancy meeting you here.” Xavier slid into the bench next to her. He looked her over and frowned. “Hey, Justine. What’s wrong?”
She burst into tears. Not only had her boss made her feel like a submissive retriever, but her recent lover was now seeing her at her absolute worst.
What else could go wrong?