Chapter 34
Xavier had explained it all the following day. “I need you to trust me. I’ve seen so many couples rush into things. I want you all the time. But I don’t want to overwhelm you. I suggest we keep things the way they are. You set the rules for us, and if I have a problem, I’ll tell you.”
Again, the man wanted her to set boundaries, giving her a sense of control over their relationship that took all the pressure off her trying to meet his demands.
Yet… He seemed to want space between them but wouldn’t admit it.
And that told her to keep a bit of distance.
How strange for Xavier to act skittish after admitting he loved her.
He hadn’t exactly said the words, but he kind of had. Hadn’t he?
“You’re quiet.” He squeezed her knee.
“Just thinking that being with you is amazing…and totally unexpected.”
“Oh?”
She petted his beard. “I’m dating a furry man.”
“This is an amazing beard, woman. You’re lucky to be touching it.”
“Lucky? You want to get lucky later, maybe rethink your words.”
He grinned. “Now that you’re warming up, you sure you’re okay?” He paused. “With us?”
“I am if you are.” She scrutinized him. “I feel like you’re at an advantage because you deal with people and their emotions for a living. Like, you could manipulate me pretty easily if you wanted.”
“‘With great power comes great responsibility.’”
“Sure thing, Spiderman.” She rolled her eyes.
“I’m kidding. I would never deliberately try to manipulate you.” He frowned at the road. “That’s dishonest. I’m all about honesty.”
“So if my butt looks huge in my dress, you’ll tell me?”
“I’m not stupid.”
“That’s what I thought.”
He shrugged. “There’s honesty and then there’s not wanting to hurt your girlfriend’s feelings.” He winked. “But that dress you’re wearing shows off your amazing legs and butt, so don’t look to me for criticism.”
It warmed her how readily he kept labeling her his girlfriend. He hadn’t mentioned any feelings though. Neither of them had brought up the big L word since she’d said it four days ago.
Nothing like disturbing your boyfriend by being too close to smother the flames of love.
“You went quiet again. I’m serious. You look amazing in that dress.”
She toyed with the thin strap. “It’s a sundress. And I wore sneakers with it.”
“Cute and approachable, yet strikingly sexy. I like your vibe.”
She laughed, tucking away her caution. “You’re a goof.”
“I’m your goof.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her. “Now remember, Auggie will be there today. And Mom will be all over you once she finds out we’re dating.”
“She already thinks we’re dating.”
“Yeah, but she’ll know it’s real.” He sighed. “She kind of knew it was real before. I’m not good at hiding my feelings from my mom.”
“Aw, you had a big crush on me, didn’t you?”
“Oh stop.” His cheeks turned red.
She hooted. “You’re blushing! So cute.”
He grumbled as they pulled into the driveway.
“A lot of cars out here,” she noticed, counting a few in front of the large home.
“It’s the 4th. Time for picnics and barbecues.”
She brought the potato salad she and Xavier had fixed—well, Xavier had made it while she’d watched. Auggie opened the door before Justine could knock and tugged them both inside.
She put a finger to her lips and snuck them into the side office, which had been turned into a craft room. Justine liked the light colored furniture and big desk upon which a sewing machine and basket of yarn had been set.
“What’s up?” Xavier asked.
“Shh. Do you not see me sneaking you inside?” Auggie poked her head out then closed the office door. “Quick notes: Top’s here as Mom’s ‘date.’ I invited Benji because he looked sad when I saw him wandering the street outside the condo.”
“Wandering the streets?” Xavier’s brow went up. “Really? He barely leaves to go to work.”
“And the gym,” Justine added. “What? I saw him with a gym bag the other day.”
Auggie cleared her throat. “I was swinging by to pick you up. I hadn’t realized you’d already cozied up to the upstairs chick.” Auggie nodded at Justine, her gaze on her brother. “Thanks for telling me.”
He snorted. “Like you didn’t already know. You forced it out of me at Roxie’s.” He turned to Justine. “We also share a twin brain.”
“Ah.” Twin brain?
“I did know,” Auggie admitted. “But it would have been nice for you to tell me, like, officially. Without me prying the truth from your stubborn mouth. I had to hear it from Judy at the bagel shop. She saw you two smooching in public. Disgusting.”
Justine blushed. “PDAs aren’t really my thing, but your brother is impossible to resist.”
He turned to her. “I am, aren’t I?”
Auggie’s lips twitched. “Super disgusting.”
“Right. So why did you pull us in here, exactly?” he asked her.
“So you don’t act like a jackass when you see Top and Mom making eyes at each other. And be nice to Benji.”
“I’m always nice to Benji.” Xavier frowned. “What do you mean making eyes at each other?”
“See?” Auggie turned to Justine. “He won’t admit it, because my brother thinks he’s above such things, but he gets jealous when Mom finds a guy she really likes.”
“What? That’s not true.”
Justine watched the twins go back and forth, amused at how alike they were, despite Xavier’s claims that Auggie was super dramatic.
Auggie sounded smug. “It’s totally true. Mom didn’t date all that much while we were around. Dad died our senior year of high school. We were already in the Marine Corps when she’d opened up to seeing anyone. But when we’d visit, Xavier would bristle if she seemed to like a guy.”
“Now you’re just lying.”
“Oh? Seems to me you only tolerate the idiots she’s gone out with. But if there was someone decent, you picked him apart.”
“I never did that.” Xavier sounded angry.
Auggie turned to Justine and shrugged. “See? Her last boyfriend was a real jerk, but we tried to be nice to him for Mom’s sake. My brother can do fake-nice really well. But when Mom was into Jared eight years ago, you weren’t so fake nice, were you?”
He looked even angrier, and Justine had the notion Auggie might be right about him. “Your point is we should act normal about Top and Benji being here,” she said before Xavier could argue with his sister.
“Yeah.” The woman glared at Xavier. “Be. Nice.” She turned and left.
Xavier rubbed his beard and glared at the doorway. “I do not have a problem with my mother being happy. I love her.”
“Maybe you love her so much you don’t think any man is good enough for her,” she suggested, something her aunt had once advised in her Aunt Truth column.
He opened and closed his mouth. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
She hugged him. “Xavier. You love your mom. That’s nothing to be upset about. So you’re protective. You’re a good son.”
“Am I if I don’t want her to be happy?” He looked miserable, so she kissed him.
Top happened to catch them in the act, standing in the doorway. “Ah-ha. Auggie was right. When you’re done locking lips, your mom wants you in the kitchen.” He smirked and left.
Justine grabbed the potato salad, embarrassed, and hurried to the kitchen. Xavier followed.
She hoped she hadn’t made a mistake sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, but when she had a moment’s pause between peeling carrots and carving watermelon balls, Xavier leaned close to kiss her and whispered, “Thanks, Justine. For being there for me.”
She turned and caught his smile, glad she hadn’t ruined anything between them.
Xavier hated that he now saw himself through a distorted lens. Had he been a good son? Was he being a good boyfriend? A good brother?
He hadn’t thought himself capable of being so selfish, wanting all his mother’s attention. Heck, he and Auggie shared everything and always had. When his father had died, they’d all been lost. The man hadn’t been a saint, but he’d been as perfect a father and husband as a man could get.
So naturally, the first man his mother had dated, two years after his father passed, hadn’t measured up. But then, none of them had. Damn. Maybe Auggie had it right after all.
“Um, pass the potatoes?” Benji asked.
Top grunted and pushed the bowl closer to Benji, who looked as if he’d jump if Top breathed too hard.
Auggie frowned. “Easy, Marine.”
Top gave her a look that she gave right back, the pair of them glaring so hard it was a wonder their brows didn’t get stuck together. He wasn’t the only one who noticed either. Justine looked as if she was trying to hold back laughter. His mother too.
“Oh my God. Would you two relax?” he said on an exasperated sigh. “You’ve spent the whole meal trying to see who’s is bigger.”
“Mine, clearly,” Auggie sniffed.
Top stared at her before laughing. “Damn, girl, you might just be right.”
Cynthia shook her head, her eyes filled with mirth. “Stubborn jarheads.”
Was it his imagination, or did Benji hide a smile as well?
“Well, Max,” Cynthia said. “We might as well tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Xavier asked.
Top—Max—cleared his throat. “We wanted to let you know that we’re getting married.”
Auggie and he stared. “What?” they said as one.
“I’m soon going to be giving you a baby sister,” Cynthia added with a smile. “Can you believe that?”
“Hell, no.” Xavier wondered if he might be hearing things. Then he noticed Justine and Benji trying to hide their laughter. Auggie had believed the lie, though, so he didn’t feel so bad. She looked pale.
“Ha. Told you.” Top guffawed. “The look on your faces. Relax, you two. Your mom and I are well past the age of having babies. But we are dating, so if you got a problem, now’s the time to spit it out.”
“I think it’s wonderful,” Justine said.
“Yeah, cool. Old people dating. It’s nice.” Benji turned bright red after saying that and focused on his plate again.
Cynthia rolled her eyes. “Old people. Thanks, Benji.”
Auggie smacked him on the shoulder. “Nice going, doofus.”
Benji shrugged but seemed to relax.
The look and feeling he sensed from his sister made Xavier reexamine the pair. That Auggie refused to meet his gaze told him he’d clearly missed the match-up going on in front of him.
“Is everyone at this table dating someone else at this table?”
Top stared at Auggie and Benji and grinned. “Seems to be.”
“Benji and Auggie?” Justine goggled then gave a slow nod. “Huh. Now I see it.”
“What? I don’t.” Xavier didn’t know how he could have missed all the feelings floating over the table.
But he didn’t know that he liked it, and he felt like an ass for feeling that way.
So he put on his best smile. “Well then, a toast.” He held up his root beer, waited for everyone else to do the same, then said, “To the lonely Hanovers, lonely no more. May your hearts be full and your bellies stuffed with potato salad and watermelon.”
“That was just lovely, Son,” Cynthia said, dryly. “You all had better eat! I don’t want any leftovers.”
Top shot her a smile. “I think I can handle that.”
“Me too.” Benji dug into his food then paused. “Wait. I’m not dating Auggie.”
“Shh. We’ll talk about it later, okay?” Auggie patted his hand on the table then ignored him.
Benji looked confused but continued to eat.
Everyone kept talking and smiling, and Justine’s laughter made him warm all over. But Xavier knew something inside him had shifted.
He just didn’t know what.