Chapter 8
Regret – To feel like shit because you’re an idiot with a big mouth
Fender
“Are you listening, grumpapottamus?” Gibson asks.
“Not grumpapottamus,” I grumble.
Jett bursts into laughter. “Your grumbling proved us wrong. You’re not grumpy at all.”
Gibson leans close to whisper to me, “In case you’re wondering, he’s being sarcastic.”
I push him away. “I’m not dumb.”
“Didn’t say you were. Socially inept? Maybe.”
I frown. Does he have a point? After Leia let me have it last night, I realized I’m probably being a bit unfair to her. Okay fine. I am being unfair. I allowed my past to color my opinion of her. It’s a shitty thing to do. I need to rectify this situation. But how?
Jett sighs. “He’s daydreaming again.”
I growl.
He clutches his chest. “Oh no. Grumpapottamus is growling at me. I’m scared.”
“I’ll save you.” Gibson jumps to his feet and pretends to brandish a sword. “I’m the grumpapottamus slayer.”
Jett grins. “You should get an outfit. You can put the initials GS on it for grumpapottamus slayer.”
I swear if they refer to me as grumpapottamus one more time I will show them how grumpy I can be.
“Will you three pay attention?” Cash asks.
I grunt. I’m not the one causing a distraction.
He wags his finger at me. “Don’t pretend you’re innocent. You’ve been staring off into the distance since this meeting began.”
“He’s dreaming about Leia,” Jett claims.
Gibson drops his head back and begins to pant. “Yes, Leia. Right there, Leia. Squeeze me harder.”
My hand is around his neck before I realize I’ve moved. “Knock it off.”
Gibson pulls at my hand but I don’t let him go. “Say you’ll stop.”
Dylan sighs. “He can’t talk when you’re choking him.”
I release the pressure on his neck a tiny bit. “Now say you’ll stop.”
“I’ll stop,” he chokes out and I release him.
“Water. I need water.”
Dylan slides a glass toward him. “No more choking.”
I make no promises. If Gibson sullies Leia’s name again, I’ll do what I have to.
Leia’s had it tough enough. She doesn’t need a bunch of idiot musicians making her life more difficult. My stomach twinges with guilt. I was the one making her life more difficult.
No more. From now on, I’ll treat Leia with the respect she deserves. After hearing how difficult she’s had it – how dare her asshole parents kick her out when she was seventeen and pregnant! – I’m going to make certain she gets no more trouble from me.
Cash throws a pencil at me. “No more choking and pay attention.”
Jett snickers. “Fender’s in trouble.”
Cash pounds his fist on the table. “E-fucking-nough. This meeting is going to last forever if everyone doesn’t calm down and pay attention.”
“Is someone missing his sweetie?” Jett makes kissy faces.
Cash starts to stand but Dylan shackles his wrist to stop him. “He’s trying to rile you up.”
“Mission accomplished,” Cash mutters as he sits down. “This meeting is never going to end.”
“Not all of us have girlfriends at home,” Jett says. “We’re bored.”
“But we don’t want girlfriends to help out boredom,” Gibson adds.
Jett rolls his eyes. “Of course not. This is established. No reason to reiterate.”
Gibson shivers. “Since the big guy who claimed he would never want a relationship again is falling for Leia, I feel it’s important to repeat our stance.”
Jett nods. “Good point.”
“As much as I’m enjoying how uncomfortable Fender is with this subject,” Dylan begins and I realize I’m squirming in my seat.
Fuck. No wonder these assholes are making fun of me. They’re sharks and they smell blood.
“I have a lunch date with my beautiful Ginny and I don’t want to be late.” The happiness on Dylan’s face is clear. I thought I was happy with a woman once. I was wrong.
Gibson smirks. “Virginia is pretty.”
Jett catches my eye. “I prefer blondes.”
“Keep your dirty hands off Leia,” I order him.
Cash chuckles. “Welcome to the jungle.”
I am not in the jungle. I’m not anywhere near the jungle. Realizing I’ve been an ass to Leia doesn’t automatically mean I’m ready to jump into bed with her. My pants tighten at the thought of Leia laid out for me in my bed.
Not ready to jump into bed with her, I remind my cock. He pouts as he deflates. He can pout all he wants. It’s my hand or a one-night stand on offer to him. Nothing and no one else.
“Tour schedule,” I grumble since someone has to get these yahoos back on track.
Cash taps the schedule with his pencil. “Did everyone get a chance to review the schedule Aurora sent?”
Jett purses his lips the same way he does every time our personal assistant’s name is mentioned. He has it bad for the woman but refuses to get involved with her. He doesn’t want a relationship with any woman. Ever.
“I bet Jett opened the email from Aurora before anyone else did,” Gibson teases, proving he’s a complete idiot.
Jett launches himself across the table at Gibson. I step out of the way as Dylan rushes to stop Jett.
“Enough!” Dylan shoves Jett off of Gibson and Jett falls to the floor. “Sit your asses down in your chairs now.”
“Daddy’s mad,” Gibson mumbles but Dylan spears him with a glare and he snaps his mouth shut.
It’s hard to ruffle Dylan but he has his limits and apparently his limit has been reached.
“Do I need to handcuff you to the chair or are you going to behave?” he asks Jett.
“I’m good.” Jett slinks back to his chair and sits down.
“Finally,” Cash begins once everyone is seated. “This schedule doesn’t work for me.”
“Or me,” Dylan adds.
“I promised Indy I wouldn’t be away from home for more than a week at a time,” Cash explains.
“At least Indy can join us when it’s summer vacation and she’s off from school, Ginny can’t since she’s the librarian,” Dylan complains.
“Will we depart from Winter Falls every time we have a tour stop?” Gibson asks.
“It seems unfair. We have to get our asses over to Colorado because the two of you fell in love.” Jett’s face practically turns green at the words ‘fell in love’.
“You can always stay in Winter Falls,” Cash reminds him.
“The lease on the house isn’t up for several months,” Dylan adds.
Cash motions to me. “Big guy isn’t going anywhere.”
“Because Leia’s here,” Gibson sings.
I glare at him. “You know why I’m not leaving.”
He sobers. “Sorry, big guy.”
The entire band knows my sad story. There aren’t many secrets between the five of us. It’s hard to keep a secret when you’re on the road together for months at a time.
I wave away Gibson’s apology.
“We can ask Aurora to handle travel arrangements for you two from wherever you are to the next concert stop, but you’ll need to keep her appraised of your locations,” Cash says.
“Yeah,” Dylan agrees. “No slinking off to go rappelling off the Badlands Wall in the middle of the night.”
“How else do you suggest I observe the stars at night in the Badlands?” Jett asks.
“With a telescope,” Cash suggests.
“From the safety of a car,” Dylan adds.
Jett sniffs. “Sounds boring.”
Jett’s search for adventure is going to get him killed if he doesn’t slow down. Since he’s busy running as fast as he can from his past, I don’t expect him to slow down anytime soon.
“What if I don’t know where I’ll be?” Gibson asks.
I rub a hand down my face. Gibson is a heavy drinker who thinks charming women out of their panties should be an Olympic sport. He refuses to be tied down to a schedule because he wants to be able to follow a different woman to bed every night.
Cash shrugs. “You can make your way to the venue on your own.”
Gibson’s nose wrinkles. “Arrange my own travel? That’s what Aurora’s for.”
Jett growls. “Aurora isn’t your personal assistant.”
“But you want her to be your personal assistant.” Gibson waggles his eyebrows.
Here we go again. My stomach rumbles to remind me it’s been several hours since breakfast. I stand.
“Hungry.”
“The brewery’s open. I could go for a burger,” Jett says.
“And one of their new IPAs,” Gibson adds.
I frown. Gibson’s been drinking way too much lately. I’ve tried hiding his beer but he always finds it or buys more. He can’t manage to buy groceries – he’s always stealing mine – but beer, he’s never without.
“I’m off to meet Ginny. I’ll meet you guys back here in an hour,” Dylan says and hurries out the door without a backward glance.
“You coming?” Jett asks Cash as we walk toward the door.
Cash sighs. “I better before you manage to get yourself banned from Naked Falls Brewery.”
Gibson snorts. “Don’t be silly. The brewery’s owned by two of your brothers. We won’t get banned.”
I follow them out of the recording studio. I notice Isla playing around with some kids across the street at the Community Center and wave to her. She waves back. Good. She must not have heard the knock-down drag-out fight I had with her mom in their front yard last night.
I rub a hand over my chest as guilt swarms me. I need to fix what I screwed up with Leia. But I don’t know how. I don’t exactly have a good track record with women.