Chapter 16. Laughter Is the Best Medicine—Unless You’re Trying to Score a Hole in One
Laughter Is the Best Medicine—Unless You’re Trying to Score a Hole in One
The day of my golfing date with Neil Cosgrave was another gloomy Saturday afternoon. The course was forty-five minutes away from the city, and by the time I got there, Neil was already waiting in the reception area, leaning against the wall as he scrolled through his phone.
The Greenhill Fairway golf course was bigger and newer than the one I’d gone to with Rob, offering mini golf courses, a driving range, and a full-sized golf course designed by a former PGA player.
There were posters everywhere advertising discounted entrance fees for their first-year anniversary, which probably explained why the place was packed.
“Sorry I’m late.”
“Not at all.” Neil gave me a warm smile. “I just got here myself.”
“Did you say your friend owns this place? It’s enormous.”
“Yeah, one of my old buddies from junior golf tour.” Neil pointed at the map of the place above us. “They have two mini golf courses. An eighteen-hole indoor option, or the nine-hole outdoor one. What do you feel like?”
Major points to him for being courteous and asking for my opinion, instead of bulldozing his way and assuming what I’d like to do, like some of my dates in the past. “I vote for the outdoor one. It’s shorter, so we’ll have time for dinner after.”
“Good choice.” Neil directed his attention to the young woman manning the front desk. “Two for the nine-hole course, please.”
I pulled out my purse, but he waved it away, ignoring my protests. “I’ll get this one, and you can get the next one.”
Extra bonus points because he was generous and confident, so sure that there would be another date.
But then Shane, Ben, and all the other terrible dates I’d had in the past suddenly came floating back into my mind, sending a bundle of hot nerves sliding into my stomach, along with the growing dread at the thought that I’d be spending the next hour or two with him, forty-five minutes away from anything and anyone familiar.
I glanced around, mentally mapping my exit routes, and did a double take when I saw a familiar group of people standing near the in-house golf shop in the furthest corner, not far from the restrooms.
Rob, wearing aviator sunglasses and a baseball cap, had his back to us, but there was no mistaking the way his hair was curling up and sticking out from under the hat.
Next to him were Ellie, Jenna, and Alec, all wearing caps and sunglasses, looking like they were extras in a badly made spy-noir movie.
“I’m going to the restroom,” I said to Neil, who was now chatting with the young woman about some tournament that had just happened last weekend. “I’ll see you outside.”
Without waiting for his reply, I sauntered over toward the restroom, and after a quick glance to make sure he wasn’t looking, I stopped in front of the displayed golf clubs for sale, a couple of feet away from my friends.
“What are you all doing here?” I hissed at the group.
Rob walked over, pretending to inspect the selection of clubs. “Alec heard about this outing and thought it would be fun for them to tag along.”
I glanced at Neil, who was still involved in an increasingly animated conversation with the attendant, then turned toward the rest of my friends, who were watching us with varying degrees of amused interest. “Really? Signing me up for online dates isn’t enough for you guys?”
“We just want to be supportive,” Ellie stage-whispered, while Alec flashed me a thumbs-up from next to her. “It’ll be fun!”
Jenna mouthed, “For us.”
“You’re all sick in the head.” But I was smiling, grateful that they were here, because even though they didn’t have to, they all came to support me anyway. I might not have lots of siblings or a big family, but I had these people on my side, and that more than made up for it.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Neil collecting the clubs and balls from the young woman, who was saying a faint, “Enjoy the game!”
“I better go. Catch you guys later.”
“Have fun!”
“Charm his socks off.”
“Go and destroy him!”
“Hey, Kim.” Rob was smiling at me. “You’ve got this. You’re going to do great.”
The ball of nerves that had settled in my stomach earlier began to dissolve as I walked away, and a sense of calmness came over me. I do have this, because it’s just another date, and I’m doing this for my grandmother, and everything will be fine.
Neil handed me one of the clubs and a blue golf ball when I found him outside.
“Thank you. You ready for me to kick your ass?”
He grinned. “Let’s see if you still sound that tough after I annihilate you.”
“That’s not going to happen in this lifetime, sorry. I’ll be doing all the annihilation.”
The course we’d chosen had a Wild West theme, so it was decorated with cacti of all shapes and sizes, broken-down wagons and stagecoaches, and mini replicas of abandoned saloons and log cabins.
It was charming, very Instagrammable, and several people ahead of us were busy snapping selfies instead of playing.
“This looks fun,” Neil said. “We should have asked Carmichael to come along.”
If only he knew. “We should have. He would have enjoyed this.”
“I think he would.” Neil motioned for me to go ahead. “Would you like to start us off?”
“Sure.” I placed my ball on the marked spot, took aim, and swung the club. The ball slid smoothly toward the hole, going in with a loud plunk.
Neil raised his eyebrows at me. “Starting off strong, aren’t we?”
“I’m here to win.” I walked to the hole and plucked my ball from it. “Your turn.”
He placed his own plain white ball on the marked spot, sent the ball directly into the hole, and pulled out a tiny pencil and a scorecard from his back pocket. “Guess we’re both here to win. One point each.”
Okaayy. Good to know this wasn’t going to be just another fun, harmless competition between friends. Game on.
It took Neil two strokes to finish the second hole. He then motioned for me to step up, while wearing a satisfied grin on his face. I wasn’t going to be outdone, so I aimed my ball, gave it a firm nudge toward the hole, and in it went. In one clean stroke.
The confident grin on Neil’s face faltered a little.
Meanwhile, my friends were waiting for their turn at the start of the course. Rob, who was standing facing the other way, had apparently said something hilarious to the others, and they were now all howling with amusement.
Neil glanced over at the group and frowned with disapproval at Jenna, who was bending over with laughter. “Someone should have a word with those people. They’re too loud.”
“Oh, it’s just a bit of harmless fun, isn’t it?”
But he didn’t reply, his eyes still on the group. “Does that guy look like Carmichael to you? The one with the brown shirt? Same build, same hair color.”
Shit. “Kind of hard to tell from this distance, but I don’t think so. That’s a very common hair color, and there can be hundreds of men in the city who look like that.”
“Hmm.” Neil watched the group for a few more seconds, while I was mentally pleading with Rob not to turn around. “You’re right. I guess we were talking about him earlier, so that’s why my mind went there.”
I let out a relieved breath. “Must be.”
“How long have you known him?”
“Around a couple of years. He was a friend of a friend, and we’ve just recently been hanging out a lot more.”
“I met him through my cousin. She’s an architect, and Rob did a job for her a while back, and I was introduced to him when we all met for drinks after work one night. He seems like a great guy.”
“He’s an amazing guy,” I said. “Smart, funny, and respectful. Probably one of the nicest and kindest men I’ve ever met.” And I realized that I meant every single word.
Alec’s laugh boomed from where my friends were, interrupting Neil’s reply. I glanced over quickly and smiled to myself, glad that they were enjoying themselves, but also wishing that I was there with them.
But Neil wasn’t too impressed, because he cast another annoyed look at the group. “I might speak to my friend about putting in a policy to ban anyone with disruptive behavior.”
“Is that really necessary?” I raised my eyebrows. “They might be a bit loud, but nobody else seems to be bothered. People are here to have fun, and those people are obviously just having a good time. I wouldn’t call that disruptive.”
“They’re loud, and it’s ruining other people’s concentration. I’d call that disruptive.”
“That hardly seems fair.” My irritation kicked up a notch. “Maybe if they were being aggressive or threatening to other people, sure. But they’re not.”
“It’s not fair that they’re ruining my concentration,” Neil said, the frown on his face deepening. “We’re here to play golf, not to listen to people laughing like hyenas. If they want to do that, they should go to a large public space, like a park, so they couldn’t bother anyone.”
In less than twenty minutes, this date had taken a sharp turn for the worse. Maybe it was still too early to tell, but I had already crossed him off the list, because there was no way I’d put up with someone who was so unkind to others. To my friends.
As the date went on, Neil’s competitiveness took over, and he became obsessed with winning the game. By the time we were halfway through the course, I had a slight advantage over him, with my six points to his nine, which he looked extremely unhappy about.
Then we got to the seventh hole, and it was especially tricky to navigate.
It had an upward sloping tunnel, requiring golfers to hit the ball hard enough so it could shoot up the tunnel into a tiny cave, but not too hard because it would go straight into the pond surrounding the course.
And from the way Neil was hitting his golf ball, it looked like he didn’t get the memo.
He thwacked the ball a bit too violently, sending it straight to the deepest, murkiest part of the pond.
“That was a terrible shot.” Neil looked like he was ready to toss his club into the pond to follow the ball.
“We can ask for a new ball from reception.”
“No. I must hit the ball from wherever it comes to rest. That’s how you golf properly.” He frowned at me. “I thought you said you were a caddy. You should know this.”
“But this isn’t—you know what, never mind. Yes, of course, you should totally do that.”
I felt a perverse kind of satisfaction as I watched him wade into the pond to find the ball, with water and mud splashing over his light blue sneakers and khaki-colored chinos.
My phone chimed with a text from Rob.
You okay? Where’s Neil?
I glanced in his direction. He gave me a small wave, his eyebrows raised in question.
He went to hunt for his missing golf ball.
btw, your disruptive laughter made Neil lose his concentration.
He wants to get you all banned from this place.
Also, tell Alec he laughs like a hyena.
I saw him smiling to himself as he typed his reply.
Let me guess, are you kicking his ass?
“Found it!” Neil’s triumphant voice cut through the air. I tore my eyes away from Rob and turned to see Neil sloshing his way out of the water, waving the ball in his hand. His chinos and sneakers were destined for the trash bin now, judging from the way they dripped generously with pond sludge.
“I thought you were supposed to hit the ball from where it had landed,” I said, unable to stop myself. “Isn’t that what you do in proper golfing?”
Neil’s face fell, before a determined look returned to his face. “Nobody saw.” He nodded at the people behind us. “We don’t have to say anything, and it’ll be our secret, right?”
If I hadn’t already crossed Neil off earlier, I definitely would have now.
I hurried through the final two holes, keen to get this date over and done with. By the end of the course, I managed to score eleven points, while Neil had twenty.
“I don’t understand,” he was grumbling as he snatched his ball from the ninth hole. “You said you’ve only caddied, so how were you able to beat me?”
I shrugged, but didn’t offer a response.
He bristled, before stalking off toward reception.
I followed him, quietly amused at how he was such a sore loser and how it was such a contrast to how gracious Rob was.
By the time we were walking to the parking lot, Neil looked like he’d calmed down and had gotten over the fact that he’d just lost to a total amateur.
But then he had to open his mouth.
“I’m feeling a bit under the weather. That’s why I wasn’t playing my best.”
“Of course.” I gave him a polite nod.
“Maybe we can do a rematch one day.”
“Maybe.” Not a chance in hell. “We should skip dinner if you’re unwell.”
“Great idea.” We stopped next to my car, and he stood there, hands shoved inside his pockets, looking at the ground, then at my tires, at the roof of my car, anywhere but me.
“Thank you for a fun afternoon,” I said. “Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”
Unlocking my car, I pulled out my phone to text Rob, but Neil cleared his throat.
“I’ve been wanting to ask you,” he said, “do you know if Carmichael is single?”
I turned around to face him. “He is. Why do you ask?”
The tiniest hint of crimson tinted his cheeks. “Ah, I’m thinking of asking him out for coffee sometime. You two seem close. Has he ever said anything … about me?”
I didn’t know whether I should stay and answer his questions or march back to where my friends were and smack Rob in the head, because obviously his research was faulty.
Again.
Neil Cosgrave didn’t go on this golfing date because he was interested in me. He did this because he was interested in Rob and wanted to ask me about him.
Honestly, I didn’t see that coming.
Neil was still waiting for my reply, looking hopeful, and my heart went out to him.
“I’m sorry, but he’s never mentioned anything to me,” I said, as gently as I could.
Because no matter how ultra-competitive and irritating he might have been, right now he was putting his heart on the line, being vulnerable in front of me, someone who was practically a stranger to him, and I knew that wouldn’t have been an easy thing to do.
Neil nodded, his face now beet red. He mumbled his thanks, then speed-walked to his car without another look.
Great. I spent my Saturday afternoon on a date with a man who was pining for my friend.
Taking me back to a big, fat zero.