Chapter 10 972 days before the breakup
We arrived at my parents’ house a little before noon, and I was starving. The redbrick house looked the same as it always did, except I noticed Elizabeth’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Somehow we managed to beat her, even though our drive was two and a half hours and hers was a mere fifteen minutes.
“I feel underdressed,” Cole said, tugging at his sweatpants.
“Well, obviously we weren’t going on a road trip in our Christmas Eve attire. As soon as we say hi, we can change,” I replied.
“I know, but first impressions are so important. I don’t get a do-over. How am I supposed to live up to your dad’s bromance with Ben while I look like a hungover frat bro?”
I rolled my eyes playfully, but Cole only frowned harder.
“Finally, you’re here!” Mom burst through the front door.
I introduced Cole to Mom, who wrapped him in an immediate hug and told him that he’s much more handsome than he looks in pictures.
He smiled, but my cheeks felt like they were on fire.
Thank god he didn’t take offense to that.
Dad acted a little more standoffish, greeting Cole with a stern handshake.
As a girl dad, it’s his job to show a tough exterior, even though deep down he’s a teddy bear who used to paint our nails and play Pretty Pretty Princess with us.
“We’re gonna go put on something a little nicer than sweats,” I announced, leading Cole up the stairs as he carried both of our bags. When we reached the top of the stairs, the front door swung open, and Elizabeth rushed in, practically glowing.
“We’re engaged!” she squealed, thrusting her hand into the air, the diamond catching the light.
Cole gave me a look, eyebrows raised in surprise, and I felt an immediate roil of dissatisfaction in my stomach.
I just shrugged back at Cole and lingered near the top of the stairs, out of sight.
As always, Elizabeth had perfect timing.
Cole nudged my shoulder, grinning, like wow, aren’t you excited, and without changing, we headed back down, where Mom was already fawning over Elizabeth’s ring and Dad was congratulating Ben.
The entryway was buzzing with excitement as everyone gathered around my sister, staring at the ring like they’d never seen anything like it. I pretended to feel the same too.
“You know our tradition to give one gift on Christmas Eve? Well, mine came early! I just told Mom the other day that I thought it would happen on our New Year’s trip to Park City in this gorgeous little cabin I’ve been dying to go to. But this is even better,” Elizabeth said, shrugging modestly.
I couldn’t tell if her tone was actually sarcastic or if she was truly happy to get engaged in her living room instead of her perfectly picked chalet.
I was annoyed, even though I knew I shouldn’t be, and that annoyed me even more.
Classic Elizabeth, always somehow managing to make the moment about herself, even though technically I knew this was Ben’s doing.
They both knew how excited I was to bring Cole home, my first serious boyfriend on a family holiday.
I’d been gushing about it for weeks. So I thought she would’ve at least had that in mind before she totally took over the day.
Heck, she could have at least introduced herself before sharing the news, but I guess I gave her too much credit.
Or maybe I was simply being too petty. Either way, it stung.
“That’s so exciting!” I said, hugging her.
And it was.
She looked genuinely happy, and I was thrilled for her despite the tension I felt. Two things could be true, right? What I didn’t realize at the time was how often I was trying to prove I could feel happy for someone else while still silently measuring my own worth and growth against theirs.
Elizabeth’s attention was entirely on Ben and her sparkling new ring, as if nothing else in the room existed.
I cleared my throat. “This is Cole,” I said, gesturing to him. “You know, my boyfriend.”
Elizabeth blinked as if just noticing him. “Oh! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Cole! I’m just so—” she replied, flustered. “It’s been a crazy morning.”
And just like that, all that time I spent overthinking and wondering if my family would like him was completely pointless. Elizabeth was too wrapped up in her own moment to even process his existence, let alone form an opinion.
Cole smiled, stepping forward to shake Ben’s hand. “Congratulations, man. I’m happy for you both.”
Elizabeth leaned in and gave Cole a quick hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Ainsley’s talked about you nonstop.”
I laughed, though it felt a little forced. “All right, all right. I didn’t talk about him that much.”
Elizabeth turned back to Ben, eager to keep the spotlight on her engagement. “Ainsley, could you take a few pictures? I need something besides just this gorgeous ring to post.”
Holding back a sigh, I pulled out my phone. “Sure,” I said, keeping my tone light. “Let’s get some near the Christmas tree.”
“Do you think we should reenact the proposal? Like have Ben get down on one knee?” she asked.
This time, I didn’t hold back. “Elizabeth, no! That’s crazy. The proposal can live as a memory in your mind. You don’t need to reenact it for Instagram. That’s a bit performative.”
Elizabeth looked momentarily chastened, and Cole’s brow furrowed. But then she smiled brightly, holding up her left hand as Ben stood beside her. I snapped a few quick photos, trying not to think about how staged it all felt.
“Got it,” I said, lowering my phone. “You look great!”
Elizabeth inspected the photos and smiled approvingly. “Perfect! Now let’s get a family picture! Ainsley, Ben, Mom, Dad—come on!”
I hesitated, glancing down at my UNC sweatshirt and yoga pants. “Can I at least change first? I wasn’t exactly planning on being in engagement photos in this.”
Elizabeth scoffed. “And you accuse me of being performative?”
I shot her a playful glare but relented. “Fine. These are your engagement photos, not mine.”
“Girls, it’s Christmas. Let’s play nice! Cole, will you take it for us?” Mom cut in, handing Cole her phone.
“Of course,” he said. “Everyone say, ‘Engaged!’” Cole called out, snapping the photo.
Elizabeth leaned into Ben, Mom and Dad looked happier than ever, and I tried my best to smile genuinely. I was happy for them, but there was still a part of me that felt overshadowed, just like always.
Once the photo was taken, I let out a small sigh of relief. “All right, I’m changing now,” I announced.
Cole handed Mom her phone and followed me upstairs. Once we were behind the closed bedroom door, I let out a long breath.
“Well, that was quite the welcome,” he said with a grin, tossing our bags onto the bed.
“Never a dull moment in the Green household,” I replied, grabbing clothes from my suitcase.
“I see what you mean about Elizabeth now. She really knows how to make an entrance, doesn’t she?” he replied, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You don’t know the half of it,” I sighed, joining him. “I don’t even want to go back down there.”
“Unfortunately for me, now I have to somehow upstage a proposal, so we can’t take too long up here. I don’t want your parents to think we’re having sex or something,” Cole chuckled while actually making a fair point.
“Fine, but I’m gonna need a double mimosa if I’m going to get through today.”
Pulling out my phone, I decided to shoot off a quick text to the group chat. I knew they’d understand where I was coming from—I’ve been briefing them on Elizabeth for years now.
LOVERS ??
Ainsley: You’ll never believe it
Ainsley: As soon as Cole and I got here, Elizabeth burst through the door…
Ainsley: ENGAGED
Grace: Omggggg finally! It’s been, what, like 8 years?!
Savannah: Tell her congrats ??
Ainsley: I will! Ofc this happens when I bring Cole home ??
Ainsley: It feels like this Christmas is all about her now
Savannah: Ains, I think you might be slightly overreacting
Grace: There’ll be more chances for Cole to bond with your fam
Grace: Don’t worry, your ring will come ??
Savannah: Jealous much?? Lol
Grace: Merry Christmas Eve lovers!!
Savannah: Ho ho ho
Ainsley:
I stared at my screen a little too long.
Was I overreacting? Maybe. But I didn’t need them to tell me I’d get my ring someday. I didn’t need a wink or an LOL. I needed someone to say: Yeah, that sucks. I get why you’re upset. Even irrational, I just needed them to be my safe space for the worst part of me, just for a moment.
I always thought we were the kind of friends who showed up for each other without needing to explain why. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’d spent more time justifying their jokes than actually feeling understood.
* * *
Later that night, we were a little more than tipsy from all the wine and stumbled back into my childhood bedroom.
Like Cole’s, mine told the full Ainsley Green story.
The bulletin board still cluttered with faded Polaroids and concert tickets.
The shelf lined with every Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Sarah Dessen novel I’d dog-eared to death.
A drawer stuffed with composition notebooks full of half-finished stories and diary entries where I practiced being heartbroken long before I actually was.
I remember the first time a boy made me cry.
I sat on that very carpet, back to my footboard, and wrote pages upon pages in my diary detailing the entire encounter.
I remember the night of my high school graduation, when I got too drunk and threw up over the side of my bed.
Thanks to my mom, the puke stain isn’t visible anymore, but unfortunately, she’ll never let me forget it.
“I have something I want to give you,” Cole said in a low tone as he closed the door behind him.
“Wait until tomorrow, babe,” I replied. “It’s almost Christmas.”
He shook his head, his eyes locking on mine. “I want this to be just between me and you.”
That look. Those piercing blue eyes finding mine like they always had, and the rest of the house faded into background noise. It was the kind of look that made me believe in once-in-a-lifetime connections, the kind that belonged in movies. How could I ever say no to him?
“Okay, okay.” I smiled, though my fingers trembled slightly as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Why did it feel like this moment was bigger than the gift itself?
He reached into his bag, pulling out a small red box with a bow on top.
I unwrapped it carefully, the anticipation building in my chest. As I lifted the lid, my breath caught.
Inside was a dainty gold charm bracelet.
Two charms hung from it—a tiny book and a heart, engraved with a date.
I stared at it for a second, confused but touched.
“This isn’t our anniversary,” I said, glancing up at him as I held out the bracelet for him to put on.
“I know,” he replied, taking it from my hand, his fingers brushing mine in that casual but electric way that always made me feel off-balance. “It’s the day we met.”
The day we met. One of my favorite days.
Better even than Elizabeth’s engagement story—the one she’ll retell for years at dinner parties.
This wasn’t a ring, but it felt like something more intimate, more deliberate, like proof that what we had mattered in a way that didn’t need diamond-cut clarity to make it real.
As he fastened the bracelet around my wrist, his hand lingered on mine, and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice steady.
In hindsight, maybe I romanticized it too much. Maybe I needed it to be a turning point. Like if I could make that day mean something big, then everything that followed would feel inevitable. Like I wouldn’t be the only one at the holidays without a ring or a plan.
“Wow, I love it. Thank you,” I said, but my voice cracked a little at the end. It was more than just a bracelet, and we both knew it.
Cole’s hand came up to my face, his thumb gently grazing my cheek.
His eyes were warm, searching mine like he was looking for something, some kind of reassurance maybe.
My heart was doing that wild, erratic thing it always did when he looked at me like that.
I never realized how much or deeply you could feel just with one look.
When our eyes locked like that, it was like nothing else mattered. And in this moment, nothing did.
“I love you,” he said softly, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
There it was.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
It felt real then. More real than I’d ever expected.
But still, part of me was already clinging to the idea that if it looked right on the outside—if we said the words, met the families, exchanged expensive gifts—it meant we were doing something right. I thought if we kept checking boxes, I’d stop questioning everything.
Cole smiled. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to say that.”
His lips brushed mine, gentle at first but then deeper, more insistent, and then we were kissing like everything depended on it. My hands slid into his hair, pulling him closer, as if I wanted my body to melt into his. And I did.
There was something different about this kiss. It was the kind that makes your heart stutter and your breath hitch, like you’re falling even though you’re completely still.
His hands moved lower, and he started peeling off my clothes, slow and deliberate, like he was unwrapping something delicate. The way his fingers brushed against my skin sent shivers through me, charging up every nerve ending.
When we finally hit the bed, I was already lost in him.
I didn’t care that we were about to have sex in my childhood bedroom with my parents right down the hall and a Taylor Swift poster staring at us from my closet door.
Everything else had faded, and all that mattered was his body against mine.
We were high off “I love you.” He was mine.
I was his. And I never wanted to belong to anyone else.