Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
Gracie placed some daffodils in a vase and put a box of Noms’s favourite chocolates next to them. The relief of being debt free was immense. She knew she had to tell Lewis the good news, but not today, in fact, not this weekend. It would feel too weird contacting him before her dinner date with Ed.
She showered, dressed and headed off to the university campus.
Scott Princeton greeted her with a smile. He was pleased that Gracie was back. He liked her and felt that for once he had been able to help a client. The money, of course, was also handy. He’d had a chance to check out the Racing Post and a horse called Piscean sounded a dead cert. He would have a bet later, then go and see Maya. He hadn’t seen her for a week and really could do with some sex.
As Gracie came in, he noticed that her walk was not as laboured, her shoulders were higher, and she had lost a bit of weight. She was coming through the worst, he thought.
She lay on the chaise and shut her eyes as usual.
‘How are you doing, Gracie?’
‘I’m OK. Actually, no, who am I trying to kid? I’m not OK, but I’m better than I was. I still can’t forgive Lewis in my head. But my sister’s given me some money to clear the final loan we had for IVF payments, his half included. I’m going to pay that off, so I can’t hate him that much.’
‘How do you feel about paying this off? Quite final, isn’t it?’ Scott quietly turned to today’s racing page.
‘Yes, it is. I’m looking at that as a positive, though. Time for a new start.’
‘That’s good, Gracie. Does Lewis know about this?’
‘No. Not yet.’ She sighed deeply.
‘Why’s that, do you think?’ Scott wrote his bet on a betting slip.
‘I haven’t really had time to tell him yet. But I’ve got a date tomorrow night. Dinner, in fact. With a guy I met on Wimbledon Common.’
‘Ooh, OK. Tell me more.’
‘His name’s Ed Duke. He jokes about me being his duchess.’ She laughed, something she hadn’t done in this room very much before, if ever.
‘We went out last week and I got a bit upset as he said he probably wanted children. I don’t think it showed but I wanted to leave. I felt that it was unfair to stay – why would he even consider me if I couldn’t have children? But then it was weird when we said goodbye. He saw some girl in the pub then he left very quickly. I went to kiss him, but he didn’t kiss me back.’ She took a deep breath. ‘And then he didn’t call or text me. I bumped into him today and he said he had lost his phone. We arranged a second date, so it’s all OK now.’
A question niggled in Scott’s mind. Where had he heard the name Ed Duke before?
‘So why were you upset?’
‘I guess it’s the realisation that my choice of men is going to be limited now that I can’t have children. I’m struggling with where I fit in. The pattern is that people meet, fall in love, have a family, have grandchildren, die. I’m bouncing around in my no-womb state without any of that focus or structure to my life. Do you see what I mean?’
‘Shit,’ Scott said.
‘Do you think it’s as bad as that?’ Gracie opened her eyes suddenly.
‘Not at all, I’m sorry. I just spilt my coffee.’
Scott hadn’t spilt his coffee at all. He’d remembered why the name Ed Duke was familiar. He didn’t think Gracie’s new boyfriend had been lying about his phone. Cynthia had taken the phone of the guy she was representing in a rape case to go through the text messages that the prosecution had had access to, so that she was ready for everything they were going to throw at her. He felt terrible. Clearly, he could say nothing to Gracie – ethically his wife shouldn’t have told him. But here in front of him was the sweetest girl – and she could be about to date somebody currently accused of rape.
‘So, do you understand how I’m feeling?’ Gracie prompted.
Scott’s mind was all over the place. ‘I do, Gracie. As to the issue of structure, it is tough, I agree. Maybe a career change is what you need, some sort of new focus to occupy you? Or a new hobby? Concentrate on you rather than a new man. For now, maybe reconsider your date.’
‘Oh. I was looking forward to it.’ Gracie screwed up her face in confusion. The professor had never advised her on what do with her life to this degree before.
‘Do you believe he lost his phone?’
‘Yes. I don’t think he’s a player. I believed him.’
‘Well, maybe don’t rush into sleeping with him. Protect yourself. I mean, it is only weeks since you left Lewis. You are still grieving for that relationship.’ Scott did his best to stay on the same level.
‘Maya – my mate from Marcy’s café – thinks if you fall off one horse, you should get on another.’
‘Maya?’ Scott’s voice had gone up an octave.
Gracie sat up and swung her legs so that she was now sitting on the chaise. Scott discreetly put a textbook over the racing paper.
‘Yes, have I not mentioned her before? We exercise together. She really makes me laugh. And she thinks I should have sex with the gardener tomorrow night.’
‘No! You mustn’t.’ He was aware that he sounded far too stern and wasn’t maintaining his usual professional detachment.
It didn’t seem as though Maya had divulged any secrets about their dalliance. Or had she? He wondered if his lover knew that Gracie was coming to him. And of course, he couldn’t mention Gracie to Maya as he had to honour his client’s confidentiality. It was getting more and more complicated by the minute. He would need a stiff drink when this was over.
‘You’ve never told me what to do or not do before,’ Gracie said boldly.
Scott tried to steer back to a professional footing.
‘I’m sorry, Gracie. I just want you to protect yourself. I was worried that you’re still fragile. You need someone with a lot of love to make you feel special. Not a short-term sexual relationship.’
‘You’re probably right, but I do like Ed. Having sex is important for me now. I need to break away fully from Lewis and I think this will help.’
‘I disagree but I’m not here to tell you what to do. Please be safe.’
‘Of course, I will use a condom,’ There was a pause. ‘I actually can’t believe we are having this conversation!’ Gracie was wide-eyed. ‘I’m nearly bloody forty.’
‘I didn’t mean safe in that way, Gracie. Just look after yourself .’ Scott’s voice wavered.
Gracie smiled. ‘Another good thing happened today.’
‘Go on.’ Scott now had a look of fear on his face. ‘There’s more?’
‘I met a woman – one of the runners at the club – who has asked if I would consider arranging events in the function room behind the café at the common.’
‘Brilliant! Like I said earlier, a new challenge would do you good. Could you keep your current job running, too?’
‘Maybe, I guess it depends on how much I can make with this new venture. I’m meeting Kate – she’s the café lady – tomorrow morning to discuss details. I’m excited about it.’
‘That’s really great, Gracie. So it’s a big day tomorrow, then?’
‘Yes. Potentially a new job and a new knob.’ Gracie laughed out loud. ‘That was so rude, sorry!’
The professor hid his surprise. Gracie was usually so reserved. She’d obviously been spending too much time with Maya.
She got up from the chaise.
‘If you did want to come along next week, I have Monday evening at seven? I think the sooner I see you the better.’
Gracie nodded. ‘I will need a chat by then, with all that’s going on. I forgot to tell you – Lewis sent me a poem he knows I love.’
‘Interesting that it wasn’t at the front of your mind, don’t you think?’
‘Yes, I guess so.’ Her face dropped slightly. She handed the professor his cash. ‘Right, I’d better go.’
‘Good luck with everything and see you next week.’
As the door shut behind her, Scott hoped that she hadn’t picked up on the fact that he had completely slipped out of professional mode and had been talking to her in a way he may have spoken to his own daughter.