Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
Haleigh lay across her comforter, arms out like she was reenacting the crucifixion as she gazed blankly at the ceiling.
She was the kind of tired that sank into your bones. The kind that latched onto your brain like a tick and sucked you dry.
She’d spent the morning looking at available apartments online. She was nowhere near ready to move financially, but she’d hoped that seeing what rent looked like and what kinds of living situations were in her budget would help her make a plan. The real kind, with spreadsheets and numbers and formulas and all that.
Instead, the astronomical prices of tiny one-bedroom apartments had chased her, panicking, back to her bed.
Stanton leaned against her open doorway, watching her melt into the comforter.
“What?” she muttered.
“Your manners are impeccable.”
Haleigh coughed. “Good sir, how can I be of service to you today?”
A smirk pulled at his lips. “An improvement.” He scanned her unmoving form. “What is…” he waved a hand at her, “this?”
“It’s been a long day.”
“It’s eleven A.M .”
“Thank you, Father Time.” She lolled her head to look at him. “Was that all?”
He snorted. “I’m making cookies for tonight. Come help.”
Haleigh knew better than to say no to her roommate. “They better be good cookies,” she grumbled, dragging herself off the mattress.
“Oatmeal raisin, your favorite.”
“I’m going back to bed.”
Stanton caught her elbow and steered her toward the kitchen. “You know I’m kidding. Those dried-up grapes should be outlawed.”
Spread out on the counter in front of them were enough ingredients to fill a bakery with delicious treats.
“Exactly how many people did you invite?” Haleigh asked as she rolled up her sleeves. “An entire football league?”
“Not quite that many,” Stanton countered.
Haleigh made chocolate-chip cookies so often at Jack’s that she didn’t even need to look at the recipe. She dropped two sticks of softened butter in the stand mixer before adding brown sugar, white sugar, and vanilla. Then she let it whirl.
“What happened to ordering catering?”
“I did. But you always want to have some homemade touches too.” Stanton, the consummate host.
Digging out a bowl from one of the lower cabinets, Haleigh measured out dry ingredients for multiple batches. If they were going to make all these cookies by seven tonight, they needed to hop to it. Otherwise she wouldn’t have time to shower, and that was not how she wanted to see Brian for the second time.
She shook her head. “If On the Plus Side ever gets canceled you should do a home and gardens show next.”
“ Wealth and Elegance with Stanton Bakshi .” He flourished a hand over his head like it was a banner.
“More like How to Throw Parties Using Your Roommate as Free Labor .” Haleigh echoed his movement, and then added, “With Stanton Bakshi.”
Stanton pursed his lips. But at least he started helping, loading sugar cookie ingredients into the second mixer.
“Who’s coming tonight anyway?” Haleigh asked.
“The usual. Some of the crew. Ryan’s writer friends. Logan, Everly, and Brian.” He dragged out Brian’s name and wagged his eyebrows salaciously.
Haleigh rolled her eyes. “No Jazzy and Aria?” Stanton’s cohost and her girlfriend were two of Haleigh’s favorite humans.
“Nope. They’re at some convention in Seattle.”
Haleigh popped one, then two, chocolate chips in her mouth. “Booo.”
“What about you? Is Joey coming?” Stanton folded his hands under his chin. His fascination with Haleigh’s sister knew no bounds.
“I do not hate myself that much.”
“But you invited Jackson.”
Haleigh held up her hands. She accidentally bumped the flour bag in the process, sending a big puff of white into the air. “He’s my best friend.”
“And you’re basically going to be on a date.”
That was the point. If Haleigh was going to get over Jack, then she needed to be able to live her life around him. He had to meet the people she was dating. And she needed to be able to see past him to that person.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. He said he wasn’t coming.”
“Wet blanket.”
“He’s tired from work!” Though even as she defended him, Haleigh wondered if that was just an excuse.
Because it was Valentine’s Day. And there was that Dylan person.
Maybe Jack wasn’t coming tonight because he had a date of his own.
Stanton knew how to throw a party. There was no question about that.
The open living room and kitchen were an explosion of hearts and glitter and twinkle lights, and all around, red and pink trays held an astonishing variety of appetizers. Rosé filled plastic champagne flutes, and clear martini glasses sloshed with some mixed drink as red as the best lipstick. The giant flat-screen TV played something neutral on silent in the background, while top-forty music mingled with the voices of guests. There were just enough people for the room to feel full and alive without being a can of sardines.
Haleigh stood at her mirror arranging her long blond hair in an artfully messy bun. With Stanton’s guidance, she’d done very natural, barely there makeup and put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a cropped rose-red, soft-knit sweater that showcased her curves. Her key necklace hung between her breasts, calling attention to all the right places.
She had just secured her last bobby pin when Stanton yelled for her. She spotted Brian standing beside him when she poked her head around the door.
Stanton gestured to Haleigh’s date, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. “He brought you flowers and chocolate.”
She waved Brian toward her before Stanton got vindictive. “These are beautiful,” she said, pressing her face into the bouquet of roses and breathing deeply. Haleigh couldn’t remember the last time anyone but her mother had bought her flowers. “But you put your life in your own hands, coming here without something for Stanton.”
Brian chuckled. “I am an adrenaline junkie.”
“Clearly.” Stanton had the petty energy to hold a grudge for eternity.
“I’ve also been known to cut a Chihuahua’s nails without using a muzzle.”
“Daredevil.”
Brian leaned his head against her doorframe. He looked like a vampire afraid to ask for an invite. “So this is where the magic happens?” He gestured to her bedroom.
“If by magic, you mean sleep.”
“And saving people from their spelling nightmares.”
“That too.” Haleigh applied one more coat of lipstick. “Sorry about the mess. I’m a bit of a cyclone.” She’d planned to close the door before he showed up. Damn him for being on time. Haleigh needed to teach everyone in her life the art of being fashionably late.
He shrugged. “I have three pets. My place looks like the inside of a vacuum.”
“For some reason I don’t believe you.” The man did not have one stray dog or cat hair on his charcoal-gray pants.
A few beats passed as they smiled at each other in silence. Haleigh hadn’t been on a second date in a while, and she’d forgotten how weird they could be. Here was this person you’ve already kissed, and talked to almost every day, but the boundaries were still blurry. Should she give him a kiss hello? Take his hand? Did she wait for him to do something?
Again, she found herself wishing that someone who knew better had written all these things down. Rules were better when they were clear.
She and Jack proved that.
Brian offered her an arm like he was Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Haleigh happily wrapped her hand around his bicep. After wandering for a few minutes, they both grabbed a drink and some appetizers and joined Logan and his girlfriend, Everly, on the couch.
Between them they had one of the mini quiches cracked open and seemed to be deep in debate about what was inside.
“I think that’s mushroom,” Logan said.
“It’s definitely sausage,” Everly pushed back.
“Sausage and mushroom look nothing alike.”
“Except they’re both grayish-brown blobs.”
“Spoken like a true artist.” A grin brightened Logan’s usually surly expression.
“Ummm… that should be quiche Lorraine so you’re both wrong.” Haleigh flashed them an awkward grin. “There’s nothing but eggs, cheese, bacon, and onion in there.”
“Ohhh.” Everly pointed at the plate. “I bet it’s an onion.”
Logan popped the whole thing in his mouth. “Yup. Onion.”
“That was mine.” Everly smacked his arm. She rolled her eyes in Haleigh’s direction. “Sorry. We’re still working on his people skills.”
“Says the woman playing with her food,” Logan deadpanned. But even as he said it, he was getting on his feet. He took Everly’s empty plate and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be sure to find the ones with mushrooms this time.”
“Only if you want to share the couch with Ravioli and his gas tonight.” Haleigh laughed. She had met that dog enough times to understand this was a real threat.
Everly shifted her attention back to Haleigh and Brian. “You,” she pointed at Haleigh, “saved my ass.”
Haleigh cut a look to Brian.
“Meet the actual person who can’t spell ‘angle.’” He nodded at Everly.
“And all this time, I pitied you,” Haleigh quipped.
“I didn’t want to expose her secret shame.”
“I was mortified.” Everly ran a hand through her long brown hair. “Imagine if those had gone out places?” She arched an eyebrow at Haleigh. “I could use some marketing help over at Sundae—”
Haleigh held up her palms as if she were warding Everly off. “Oh, I can’t draw. At all.”
Everly shook her head. “That’s fine. What I need is someone to write copy and edit and help me brainstorm events and promotions and whatnot. Word stuff, like you already do.” She grinned. “So if you’re ever looking for something more permanent, let me know.”
“I will.” Haleigh’s heart hiccupped. She wanted to say yes (it was a job, even if it wasn’t exactly what she’d wanted), but that word—permanent—locked down her throat, stuck there like something she’d swallowed and choked on.
She looped her skeleton key over her head and wrapped the chain around her hand so she could feel it solidly. She hated how talking about the future—even hypothetically—could leave her feeling so unmoored.
She leaned back deeper into the couch, folding her legs. Her bedroom was too close. It would be too easy to run away.
On the TV, Jeopardy! was playing on mute, and a new question flashed on the screen.
THIS PHOBIA IS A FEAR OF CLOSELY PACKED HOLES.
“What is agoraphobia?” she mumbled under her breath at the same time as Brian whispered, “Genuphobia.”
Both their answers were wrong. For all her knowledge of random facts, Haleigh was terrible at Jeopardy!, which was part of why she loved watching it. She learned so many new things.
She typed the answer into her phone. Trypophobia. Then she googled Brian’s answer and burst out laughing. “Genuphobia is the fear of knees.”
His smile was inviting, like a cozy sweater. “I can never keep them straight.” Waving his hand, he pointed at the screen.
Another question had popped up.
IT’S THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT BORDERS BOTH THE CASPIAN SEA AND THE PERSIAN GULF.
“New Zealand,” Brian said.
“Greece,” Haleigh guessed.
Wrong again.
“Iran.” Brian shook his head. “I thought Iran was landlocked.”
“You could give me a blank map of the world, and I wouldn’t be able to fill in a third of it.” Haleigh cringed. “Geography is one of those things that won’t stick in my head for more than a minute.”
“Isn’t it wild how you can probably remember a million different grammar rules, and I can remember all sorts of animal anatomy, but this other stuff disappears?”
“I figure there’s only so much room up here.” She tapped her temple. “Something’s going to fall out.”
“For me it’s usually passwords. You know, things I need.”
“And then we have to keep changing them.” Hopefully hackers never found the Post-it Note buried at the bottom of Haleigh’s underwear drawer.
“I use ridiculous word combinations to help me remember.”
“Well, now you have to share an example.” Haleigh crossed a finger over her heart. “I swear I will not steal your identity or try to pay your water bill.”
Brian’s laugh was low and gravelly, and Haleigh’s core felt every rumble of it.
“Well… there was maximum cow horn.”
Haleigh snorted.
“Oh and ‘cupcake farts,’ which was our Wi-Fi password at Sundae’s until Everly insisted it wasn’t professional.”
“Buzzkill.”
A small laugh slipped from his lips. “So I changed it to ‘platypus groins,’ which didn’t go over much better.”
“It’s like working with ten-year-old boys,” Everly muttered.
The commercial break ended, and Haleigh and Brian went back to yelling wrong answers at the screen.
She hardly even noticed that they’d slowly inched closer together on the couch until their shoulders rested loosely against each other. Haleigh could smell his lemon-scented shampoo and see that he had a few scars on the brim of his jaw. She brushed her finger across one.
“Did an animal do that?” She pointed to the silvery lines. She could only imagine how many battle scars vets carried around.
“A terrified cat from a hoarding colony.” He rolled up the sleeve of his left arm to display another set of scars on his (rather muscular) forearm. “This was a stray dog who had never had his nails cut. He was scared, and latched onto the first thing his mouth could find. Which was me.”
Haleigh brushed her fingers over that scar, too. “And you’re not afraid of them? When I was thirteen I got pecked by a chicken at a farm, and now I won’t go near those feathered demons.”
One of the many reasons why Haleigh and Pete and his emotional support cockatoo would never have worked out.
“Listen, getting pecked hurts. I don’t blame you.” He ad justed his sleeve. “But I think it’s easier to not be afraid when you understand where their reactions are coming from. The more you work with them, the better you get at reading them.”
“I walk this dog, Peanut, that tells you she’s hungry by running in circles around your legs. When she’s really starving, she makes herself dizzy.”
“I love that you walk dogs.”
Haleigh snorted.
“No, I mean it. You help them get energy out when their owners can’t. There’d be even more dogs without homes if not for you.” He tapped her arm gently, as if to emphasize that he was serious. “Plus you have to pick up so much poop. It’s not for the faint of heart.”
“Oh god, it is not .” Haleigh’s tone was light, but his words went right to her heart. No one had made her feel like what she did mattered before.
She gulped back the rest of her rosé, then offered to get another round.
At the breakfast bar, Ryan was mixing a new batch of something that smelled exactly like a lollipop. Haleigh grabbed one for herself and a beer for Brian, then added two mini spring rolls and some spinach dip and sourdough bread to a plate. Carbs were her best friend when alcohol was involved.
Ryan clearly liked to live dangerously because the glass was full to the brim, and Haleigh went to take a sip to keep it from spilling everywhere on the way back to the couch.
Turning away from the counter, she ran smack into Jack’s chest.
Half the red liquid sloshed down the front of his light blue hoodie. In a rather tragic replay of her date with Mike, Haleigh shrieked, “Oh shit,” and wiped uselessly at his shirt with her palm. Except she completely forgot she was also holding a plate, and dropped that, dip side down, on his sneaker.
“Are you trying to start a food fight?” he asked.
Her cheeks flaming, Haleigh finally found the wherewithal to retrieve a giant stack of napkins from the counter. “Here,” she thrust them at him, “for your shoes.” Then she hurried off to wet a towel for his shirt.
He followed her toward the sink after wiping down his sneakers.
“I thought you weren’t coming?” She offered him the towel and a pump of soap.
He glanced around the room. “I didn’t realize you meant it was a real party. I thought Stanton was just having a few people over.” He raised his other hand, which held a white waxed bag. “I brought the good donuts.” His brown eyes dropped from her face. “I thought we could watch one of those bloody horror movies you like.”
Any other time, Haleigh would have jumped at the idea. Nothing was funnier and more endearing than Jack, with his over-six-foot frame and wide build, hiding from a fictional monster behind a pillow. Plus, she loved that he agreed that Valentine’s Day was the best day to watch people get massacred.
But tonight there was Brian. Her eyes flitted toward the couch. “I’m kind of… hanging out with Brian.”
The pained expression that crossed Jack’s face tightened her chest. She needed to get over him, but she didn’t want to hurt him in the process.
“Come on. Come meet him.” She took the towel from Jack. “You’re as clean as you’re going to get.”
He pointed over his shoulder. “I could just go.”
“Fuck that. I’m not letting you be alone on Valentine’s Day.” Maybe he hadn’t been out with Dylan, or maybe their date had sucked, or maybe a hundred different things she couldn’t guess if he wouldn’t tell her. But he was here now, and he’d tried to do something really nice for her. No way would she let him leave.
When they reached the couch, Haleigh saw that Everly and Logan were gone, their spots occupied by new people she didn’t recognize. But Brian was still there waiting for her.
Her heart pounded a little harder. She urged Jack to sit on the ottoman, and then slid beside Brian.
He glanced at her empty hands. “No drink?”
Haleigh gestured toward Jack. “His sweatshirt was thirsty.” In her head, she repeated, This is fine, this is fine, this is fine. This is what you’d wanted anyway, right? “This is my best friend, Jack.”
It was hard not to notice how much Brian relaxed at those words. Haleigh felt her whole body flush in response.
“Brian’s a vet,” she explained to Jack. “He runs Sundae’s Sanctuary with Logan.”
“Oh, that place is great.” Jack set aside his bag of donuts and cracked open the beer he’d grabbed from the bar. “My dog Twinkie goes sometimes.”
“Twinkie the rottweiler?”
Jack nodded.
Brian’s eyes narrowed with amusement. “Did anyone ever tell you that our staff can’t sit down around him? He’ll burrow himself into your lap and never let you up.”
Haleigh and Jack both laughed. “That sounds like Twinkie,” she said.
“Is Twinkie one of your clients?” Brian asked Haleigh.
Jack nodded. “She edits all his manuscripts,” he deadpanned.
Haleigh barked out a laugh.
Brian kept playing along. “And would you say Twinkie trusts her with his work?”
“Absolutely.” Jack took a long slug of beer, then scrubbed at his eyes with the palm of his free hand.
Immediately, Haleigh found herself searching his face for dark circles or other signs of stress, but he looked more rested than he had the last time she saw him.
“Seriously, though. She’s incredible with him. So patient. Even when he takes her on walks and generally has no idea how big he is. There’s no one I trust more with him.”
“Jack.” Surprise scratched at Haleigh’s voice.
“That doesn’t surprise me to hear.” Brian nudged her lightly, and Haleigh came undone.
How did people survive actual love triangles in books and movies? Just sitting here with these two made Haleigh feel torn in half, when she and Jack were nothing but friends and she and Brian had been out on all of two dates.
“Did you know there are seven thousand and five hundred different varieties of apples?” she blurted out. “And oh my god, I learned tonight from Brian that there is an actual word for being afraid of knees.”
Jack’s eyes swept over her. “Were you all trading trivia?” he asked.
“We were watching Jeopardy!, ” she said.
“Which is kind of the same thing,” Brian joked.
Jack nodded like this was a perfectly normal thing to be doing in the middle of a party. Although, in truth, for Haleigh it probably was. “Just don’t play Scrabble with her, whatever you do.”
Haleigh squawked. “The problem with Scrabble is not me. It’s your scant vocabulary.”
Brian’s face lit up with a flirty grin. “I’m kind of a crossword nerd, so I might be able to handle you.” Something in the way he said those last words set Haleigh’s insides aflutter.
She tipped her chin up. “Unfortunately, Stanton threw away all our tiles the last time I kicked his ass.” If there was one thing to know about her roommate, it was that he did not lose well.
“Rain check then,” Brian suggested.
Haleigh nodded, hoping he really meant it.
At some point, she and Brian had both rested their hands on the cushion between them, and she felt the warmth of his skin brush her pinkie. The movement was soft, hesitant, as if he were wondering if that were okay. Haleigh answered by letting the edge of her hand rest firmly against his.
Jack seemed to take that as his cue to leave. Declaring that he needed another drink, he headed for the kitchen, then joined Ryan at the dining table, where there was some raucous card game happening. When their eyes met, Jack gave Haleigh a thumbs-up in that completely dorky way of his.
A second later, her phone pinged.
Jackson Brooks: He seems like a good guy.
She lost track of Jack after that. She and Brian easily fell back into conversation, not moving from the couch for the rest of the night. The whole time, some part of them seemed to be touching: their hands, their legs, Haleigh’s knees pressed to his thighs when she’d turned her back to the armrest to face him fully as he described the new litter of puppies Sundae’s had taken in.
Brian was the last to leave. They held hands as Haleigh walked him to the elevator. She rested against the wall next to it, neither of them bothering to push the down button.
All he was doing was looking at her, but Haleigh’s heart was pounding so hard she was afraid he could feel it. Who could blame her? He was sweet and funny and basically looked like Lewis Tan cosplaying as a nerdy vet.
He stepped forward, close enough that they were sharing breath. “Thanks for another great night.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t spill any food on you.” Haleigh smirked.
“I’m sorry I actually know how to spell.”
Haleigh rested her palms against him. “That one may be a dealbreaker for me.”
He was laughing as he eased in for a kiss. The way she could feel him smiling against her lips kick-started her heart. She left one of her hands on his chest, snaking the other up the nape of his neck. His hair was thick and silky as it slipped beneath her fingers.
His hands ghosted up her waist, one twisting into the ends of her blond locks while the other slipped over her ass. As she arched into him, she opened her mouth, her insides coiling tight as his tongue swept over hers.
Who knows how long they would have stayed that way if someone down the hall hadn’t opened their door.
With one last, soft kiss, Brian pulled away and pressed the elevator button.
It appeared too fast.
“Talk to you tomorrow?” he asked as he stepped inside.
Haleigh grinned. “You better.”