Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
Jack emerged from Haleigh’s bedroom the next morning hungover and in desperate need of breakfast, so they walked to the diner a few blocks over.
“How’s my trash can?” she asked as they took a seat at a booth by the windows.
“Surprisingly empty,” Jack croaked out. He guzzled his glass of water and then did the same to Haleigh’s when she pushed it toward him. “I’m more dehydrated than anything else.”
She dug some aspirin out of her purse and set it in front of him. In a testament to how bad his headache must be, he swallowed them dry instead of waiting for the server to refill their glasses.
He scratched at his head, his eyes dipping toward the menu. “I’m sorry I was such a mess. I probably should have eaten more before deciding to have half a pack of beer.”
“The things you said before you fell asleep—”
“Oh god. I was so in the bag at that point, I don’t even remember.”
Haleigh knew Jack well enough to know when he was lying. It wasn’t something he did often, or was very good at, and all the tells were there. The rhythm of his hand tapping was more hurried and chaotic, and he kept making eye contact with her forehead. She could feel his knee bouncing under the table.
“You said you loved me.” No sense in beating around the bush.
He cringed. “We really need a quarter jar or something for every time we break the rules.” He poked her elbow. “You know I say bizarre shit when I’m drunk.”
Haleigh wasn’t sure she’d call him saying that he loved her bizarre, but it was clear he wasn’t going to talk about this right now.
“I think it’s going to have to be a breakfast sandwich day.” He snapped his menu closed. “Do you mind getting our orders in? Those two glasses of water are coming back to haunt me.”
Haleigh pulled out her phone while he was gone.
She had a few texts from Stanton begging for a play-by-play of her night with Brian using one too many obscene emojis, and a reminder from her mom that her RSVP for Joey’s party was due in a month.
Great. No pressure at all. Haleigh sighed.
Below all that was an email that turned her whole body to ice.
Dear Ms. Berkshire,
Thank you for your application to High Tower Publishing for the role of Acquisitions Editor.
Please excuse me for reaching out on a weekend, but we’ve reviewed your application and think you could be a good candidate for this position. We’d love to have you in for an interview.
Would you be available this Thursday at 2 P.M .?
Sincerely,
Rosa Santos
Executive Editor
High Tower Publishing
Haleigh hadn’t realized how badly she’d wanted this until she was staring at the words. Her heart thumped wildly against her chest, and she was tugging on her necklace so hard that the chain was digging into the back of her neck.
“What’s up?”
She jumped at the sound of Jack’s voice and quickly flicked the email closed.
His brow furrowed. “You okay?”
She shoved her phone in her bag. She was dying to tell him the good news, but she couldn’t. Not until she had the job offer in hand. Because then he’d know she was looking for a full-time job and he’d wonder why. He had enough stress without having to worry about her too.
“Yeah. Sorry. Just Peanut’s owner confirming next week’s schedule.”
With a nod, Jack slid into his seat and leaned toward her across the table. “Prepare yourself. I’ve determined your two last dates.”
“In the bathroom?” Haleigh raised an eyebrow.
He snorted. “No. But now that everyone else has had their chance, it’s my turn. I told you I wanted to go last.”
“Jack,” Haleigh sighed. He had that expression on his face. The one that said I’m totally going to win. Except now his competitive side was interfering with her seeing how things went with Brian. “I’ve had two really good dates with Brian.”
Jack shifted in his seat. “I know. He seems like a cool guy. But two dates are nothing. You don’t know where this will go.”
“But I’d like to find out.” It had been so long since Haleigh had felt that spark of connection with someone else. Someone that wasn’t Jack.
They went quiet as the waitress set down their food in front of them and topped off their water. Taking a big bite of his sandwich, Jack swallowed and cleared his throat. “You can still go on my dates without having to commit to anything. You’re not marrying the guy, are you?”
Haleigh dug her fork into her pancakes with the force of someone trying to do a murder and grumbled.
“I think you’re going to be really happy with the people I chose.” Triumph had returned to Jack’s expression. “One of them will be perfect for you.”
The more excited Jack got about setting her up, the more it bugged her.
Did he not want her to be happy? Why was he only this enthusiastic now? What about after Bradley? After Connie? Wouldn’t that have been a great time to introduce her to one of these amazing options he suddenly had in his back pocket? Why did he wait until Haleigh had finally met someone she could imagine connecting with?
“Sounds great,” she muttered, shoveling a piece of pancake in her mouth.
As soon as Jack looked at his phone, she grabbed her own and texted Brian.
Haleigh Berkshire: I think I need to meet these puppies.
Haleigh read the email from High Tower three more times when she got home.
It was hard to believe this was real. They were actually considering her for this job.
Holy crap. Haleigh could end up reading books for a living. And not just any books. The genres she loved. And no one would think she was freeloading or wasting her time anymore. It was a steady job with a salary. Which meant she’d be able to save money to move. And maybe afford her own apartment.
If she got this job, someone else in the family would have to take on the role of the Berkshire Disappointment.
Her heartbeat pounding, she sent back a quick email, expressing her excitement to come in for an interview. Then she added the meeting to her calendar in three different ways so she couldn’t possibly forget.
She couldn’t remember the last time that this many good things had happened to her at all, never mind all at once. Immediately, her brain began to do that thing it always did when she was happy: What was the other shoe and how would it drop?
No.
She hooked her key in her hand. This was what anxiety did. It tried to spread over everything like a blanket of deep snow, press all the air out until there was nothing to breathe, nothing to think but the negative thoughts.
Haleigh was learning to push back, though.
Sure, this interview was a big deal. And that made it scary. But if she knew what to expect, if she knew how to prepare, she’d be less intimidated.
She’d have more agency (her therapist’s word, not Haleigh’s).
If there was anyone she knew who understood how to nail an interview, it was Joey.
Haleigh was not a fan of asking for help. And she was definitely not a fan of asking her sister for help. Joey would likely pick Haleigh apart, draw attention to everything she was doing wrong.
It was a testament to how much she wanted to nail this interview that Haleigh texted her sister anyway. Then got in the car and drove to Joey’s town house. Walked up her stoop and knocked on the door.
Joey led Haleigh into her pristine living room. She and Whitney had chosen white furniture (which seemed like a nightmare waiting to happen to Haleigh) and a black coffee table and end tables. A flat-screen TV hung over a white brick fireplace, and cerulean-blue pillows and vases gave the room a burst of color.
It was beautiful but sterile. Like they’d purchased the exact setup of a showroom. Haleigh was afraid to sit down until Joey waved her toward the couch.
She lowered herself gently to the cushions.
Joey took the armchair beside Haleigh. “What’s up?”
“I thought we could hang out. Word on the street is sisters do that sometimes.”
“Okay…”
Haleigh’s facade immediately crumbled. It was too hard to pretend that she and Joey were something they weren’t. They didn’t hang out. They basically only talked at family dinners. Haleigh spent more time bonding with Whit. “I have a job interview Thursday.”
“Something full time?”
“Yes, Joey.” Haleigh fought to keep the edge of out of her voice. “I haven’t been on an interview in forever. I didn’t know if you’d have advice or something? A suit I could borrow?”
Joey had plenty of both. As she led Haleigh upstairs to her bedroom, she went on about power stances and eye contact and how to make a good first impression. “You want to sound knowledgeable, but not like you think you know everything.”
From her closet she pulled out a gray pantsuit, a black sheath dress, and a navy pencil skirt. Then she started shoving camisoles and shells and blazers into Haleigh’s hands. It felt a little like Haleigh was on a makeover show, only the purpose was to make her look as bland as possible.
“And ask questions. It shows that you’re interested.”
Haleigh set down the clothes long enough to write all Joey’s advice down in her Notes app. She realized, as she sat beside the pile on the bed, that this was the longest she and her sister had spent together alone without sniping at each other.
“How are you doing?” she asked. She was embarrassed to admit she couldn’t recall the last time she’d asked Joey that question.
Joey lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I’m fine.”
“No. Really,” Haleigh pushed.
She and Joey had never been best friends. They’d never hung out in the same groups or traded secrets under the covers deep into the night. But they didn’t lie to each other either.
Joey sighed. “It’s just a lot. Graduating. Taking the bar. Planning a wedding. Thinking about what our life is going to be like afterward. Do we want to try for kids? Ourselves or adoption? Should we get a pet? Should we stay in Cambridge or get out of the city?” She lifted her gaze to the ceiling and let out a long breath. “Lately, it feels like every decision we make matters so much. Like they’re all dominoes setting off a new series of collapses and one wrong choice could ruin it all.”
Haleigh knew those feelings intimately. Something loosened in her chest. Joey had never shown her any of these cracks in her perfect life before. And they looked so much like Haleigh’s. It made her feel the smallest bit closer to her sister. “Being an adult kind of sucks.”
Joey laughed. “It truly does. Why did we want this so much when we were little?”
Haleigh fiddled with her key. “I think we wanted to be able to eat ice cream for every meal.”
“Probably.”
“Is there anything I can do to help? With the party at least?”
Joey joined Haleigh on the bed. “Honestly? I’d just love to not have to worry about you too.”
Haleigh bristled. “I told you I have a job interview.” Leave it to Joey to ruin the sisterly moment they were having.
“That’s a great start.” That word, “start,” dropped like a stone between them. “But I’d hoped you were serious about this dating thing too—”
“I am.”
“Connie told me you two never went out again.”
“Connie reads subtitles out loud.” Haleigh could hear how judgmental that sounded. “Don’t I deserve to find someone that I have a real spark with? Like you and Whit?”
Joey sighed. “Of course. But it was one date. You could have gone somewhere else the second time. Or, I don’t know, asked Connie not to read the subtitles.” She rubbed at her eyes. “It’s like you think relationships happen like magic. As if people are puzzle pieces that just…” Joey snapped her fingers. “… fit together. Relationships are work, Hal. A spark takes time.”
The back of Haleigh’s eyes felt like they were boiling. She wasn’t a little kid chasing fairy tales. How did her sister always manage to do this? Turn Haleigh into the worst version of herself?
Maybe for a time, Haleigh had believed in that magic. She and Jack had always clicked so well that it was hard to imagine it wasn’t that easy, that when you found your person, everything wouldn’t just fall into place like puzzle pieces perfectly aligned.
But Hawaii had shattered that illusion.
Haleigh was doing the work. She was committed to getting over Jack. She was excited to keep seeing Brian. She’d even go on Jack’s dates on the off chance that he was right, and he did know someone even more perfect for her.
Haleigh stood. “Thanks for this,” she said, pulling two outfits from the stack. “And for all your advice.”
“And just so you know,” she paused as she headed for the door, “you can check worrying about me off your list.”
Haleigh had things under control. And for once that wasn’t a lie she was telling herself and everyone else.