Chapter 28 #2
“I’d be sick. I’d never want to speak to him again. I’d tell him to get out of the house, or I’d leave myself…” She trailed off, her features stilling. “Oh, Thane. Her brother. But…you didn’t. You couldn’t.”
Thane told her everything. The bare bones of it, the worst truths he could speak. Effie listened, arms still crossed, her mouth open and her eyes distant.
At the end, she said, “So you became lovers, and then you offered to marry her for reasons having nothing to do with love, she refused you, you remained lovers, and then you told her that you’re the reason her brother is dead.”
“Essentially, yes.”
“Oh, Thane.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. “You must be in agony. All these months of mourning him, and then her coming into your life, and then this.”
He hadn’t expected sympathy from Effie. He didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this gentle response. It destroyed him in a way that yelling or censure couldn’t have. He closed his eyes, and felt his throat close as he choked back tears.
“I failed her so completely, and now she’s gone,” he said, his voice rough. “I never deserved her, but I didn’t care because I needed her. I just…did what I did, and when I tried to tell her the truth, she…”
“She wouldn’t listen?”
“Oh, she listened. And then she left me. Which I understand. But she left Kinlochlie, Effie. She left the one safe place she had. And it’s my fault because I made it unsafe for her.”
“Thane, you made a mistake. But if Catriona loves you as much as you love her, she’ll realize that it was just that, a mistake. Eventually.”
“We don’t have eventually. I need to find her now, before whoever is after her does.”
“Then why are you standing here? Go and get your men and go after her.”
So Thane returned to Kinlochlie and rounded up the others, Tacita included. He explained what happened and all the facts he knew, leaving out only the more personal and private details of his and Cat’s relationship.
When he was finished, Calan asked, “How did she evade the notice of the men you’ve got posted around the estate?”
“She’s smart. She’s been here long enough to know where they would be, roughly, and she probably picked her route specifically to avoid them.
Plus, I stressed that they ought to watch for strangers arriving.
Even if one saw Cat riding by, well, she’s done that before. Why would he think she was fleeing?”
“We’ll find her,” Struan said, standing up. “It’s a matter of eliminating possibilities.”
They started by riding to the village, the nearest point where Cat could reasonably start a journey.
They asked every traveler they encountered, and stopped in each shop.
The explanation finally came at the public house and a farmer from the village came up to them. “They’ve been saying you’re looking for a black-haired lass. A lady from the lowlands.”
“Aye, did you happen to see her?” Thane felt some hope in his chest.
“Indeed, sir. I was driving my cart up the road and she approached, asking where I was bound. Well, I had a load of carrots to take to town and I told her so. She offered to pay me to let her ride along. She was a very well-spoken young lady, and it seemed rude to refuse, so I let her on the cart and drove her to town.”
“What did she say during the journey?”
“Not much. Just that she’d got word from her family, and that she didn’t want to inconvenience her hosts by asking for a horse or carriage.”
Thane snorted at that. “No, she wouldn’t.”
“She thanked me when she left the cart, and then walked down the road toward the posting inn. I didn’t see her after that, I had my own work to do.”
Thane closed his eyes. Damn it. This is your fault. He cursed the voice in his head for being correct.
“She wasn’t a criminal or something, was she?” the farmer asked worriedly. “She was dressed like a lady, and she was very polite. I thought she was a lady. I’m sure she didn’t steal anything from me.”
“She’s not a criminal,” Thane said wearily. “There’s just been a misunderstanding, and I need to find her.” He gave the farmer a few coins for his trouble, and then turned to Calan. “She’s gone. She would have taken the first coach leaving town. Which means she could be anywhere.”
“Let’s find out if that’s true. If she got a seat on a coach, someone will have spoken to her, or at least noticed her waiting. She’s not the sort of lady who can be ignored.”
No, she would not be ignored, Thane thought. More likely she’d use the time waiting to convince her fellow travelers of why women should hold seats in Parliament or something like that.
At the posting inn, a bright-eyed girl about fourteen years old remembered Catriona very well, from her costume (“The most wonderful black buttoned boots!”) to her travel plans (“She aimed to get to Edinburgh and even asked about hiring a private coach, though as it turned out she only had to wait two hours for the scheduled one and there were three seats empty on it.”).
The girl recalled that Cat stepped on the coach just after the noon meal and also left behind a pamphlet advocating for women’s rights, which the girl kept, tucked into the family Bible.
“Oh, she was so kind, sir. She even gave half a roll to Tam, I mean the dog there, before she left.”
On hearing his name, the old, half-blind setter raised his head. The girl said, “You remember the lady, don’t you, Tam? The one who petted you and said you were handsome and gave you bread?”
The dog thumped his tail against the floor and gave them all a happy doggish grin.
Was there anyone Cat couldn’t charm? Thane wondered in frustration.
If any of these people had exercised the slightest bit of caution…
for what? Thane had to remind himself that Cat’s actions, while rash and dangerous and personally terrifying to him, weren’t actually suspicious or illegal in any way.
Cat had the right to travel wherever and however she wished, provided she had the funds to pay for it and was willing to deal with the social consequences of being a woman alone—consequences that Cat clearly had no fears about.
The men gathered in the tavern room of the inn, each with a drink. Thane felt he’d need several. They discussed the possibilities. Thane was worried the coach to Edinburgh could be a decoy.
Duncan said, “She’s not from the Highlands, so she won’t have much reason to stay. More to go, since she knows we all have connections here. We’d be able to locate her fairly quickly.”
“She was upset,” Kai said slowly, “so she’ll want to go to familiar territory.” He turned to Tacita. “Is there anywhere besides Edinburgh that she might go? A relative or friend somewhere else in Scotland?”
“Anyone I could possibly think of is in Edinburgh or very close to there. But Catriona wouldn’t like to…expose her wounds,” she said carefully, glancing at Thane, “to anyone. She’s very proud and doesn’t like to appear weak. I suspect she’ll be heading for home. Our house.”
“It’s shut up, though, isn’t it?”
“Cat would be able to get in, and she would be able to live there for quite a while even without any servants at all. What matters is that it’s her home.”
Struan nodded in understanding. “I’d probably do the same.”
“That’s not safe,” Thane said.
“It is to her.” That was Calan who spoke, and Thane always relied on Calan’s insight. Even when he didn’t know a person well—or at all—he seemed to understand their thoughts.
“Why?” Thane asked him.
“Because you’re not there,” Calan said.
Thane glared at him. “You’re not helping, man. If Catriona did go back to Edinburgh, we need to get there as well. Goddamn it. She’s three and a half days ahead of us now!”
“Maybe we can make up the time.”
“How? A deal with the faeries?” Thane asked sarcastically.
“I don’t think we need anything that drastic. You said the lady didn’t enjoy the sea journey up from Edinburgh.”
“She was sick the whole time.”
“So she’ll avoid taking a ship back. She caught a coach heading south. She won’t go to Inverness or anywhere along the shore to get a ship. She’s traveling by land, and that means slow going and overnight stops.”
Thane felt a flicker of hope. “We can go north and catch a ship sailing to Edinburgh, which shouldn’t take us more than a day on the water.”