Chapter 4
Auggie
“ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?” KATE ASKS, HER HAND ON MY shoulder. “I think there are other ways to make it right with her.”
“I’m sure,” I say.
Because at this point it’s not just about making it right with Mayte.
It’s about making it right with myself.
I hold my breath and click the icon, dragging my story into my computer’s trash. Then I open the trash and click Permanently Delete.
“It’s done,” Kate says after a moment of silence.
“It’s done,” I confirm.
“Now what are you going to do?” Kate asks. “You don’t have anything to submit to schools.”
I shrug. “I mean, I have other stuff.”
I know this was the right thing to do, but it still sucks. All that work I did, gone just like that. I can submit “Georgio” or “Winter’s Teeth,” but I know what that probably means. No Brown. No Columbia. No Emory.
“Plus, now I know I have the potential to write better stuff,” I say, standing up and shutting my laptop.
“I don’t think I can get something new out before applications are due, but I’m sure I can probably write something like that again, eventually.
” When I look up, Kate’s staring down at her phone, texting away.
“Hmm?” she says when she finally finishes whatever she’s doing.
“Nothing,” I say. “Just feeling sorry for myself.”
“Figures,” she says, and looks at her phone as it buzzes. Her fingers fly across the screen again and then she looks up at me. “Did you want to go see that new Fast & Furious movie? I heard it’s leaving theaters soon.”
I sigh. I’d hoped it would be gone before I ever had a chance to write my stupid review… and it probably will be, because Kate drives us to Janko’s house.
“No,” I say as she puts the car in park. “He won’t talk to me, Kate. He hates me.”
The situation continues to get worse as I watch Leo and Claire climb out of a car parked on the street.
“Kate, no, turn the car back on,” I say, reaching for the keys. She sits on them. “They’re going to destroy me. They’re going to kill me.”
“Stop being so dramatic,” Kate says, getting out of the car. “They know you’re coming over.”
“So we were never going to see Fast & Furious?”
“Get out of the car,” Kate says. “We have a relationship to save.”
Kate and I walk up the driveway. Janko has just opened the door for Leo and Claire, and I swallow as he meets my eyes.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” I say.
The girls turn and look at me.
“Go in, go in,” Kate says. “Don’t just stop at the door. We have things to do.” She ushers everyone into the living room, and for some reason we all just follow her.
Before I can even sit down, Leo looks at me and asks, “Did you really delete the story?”
I look over at Kate, then at the ground, and it takes me a moment, but I finally look back at Leo. “Yeah.”
Janko, Leo, and Claire all nod, saying nothing. Kate and I are silent too. I can hear the house creaking.
“I want to get her back,” I say. “Or not ‘get her back’ because I didn’t have her before. I mean, I could never have her, because even if we were dating I would never own her, because you can’t own a person, obviously, but I think she’s amazing and—”
“Auggie,” Leo says.
“I mean, of course you guys know that because you’re her friends, and of course you love her, too, but I think I love her in a different—”
“Auggie,” she says again.
“—way, like a falling in love with her way, and I think she likes me, too, and I want to be with her and—”
“Auggie!” she yells. I look up and she’s smiling. “It’s okay.”
“You love her?” Claire asks.
I nod.
Kate clears her throat. “I know I’m the sister, so I probably sound biased, but really I’m biased against him because he makes me want to scream all the time. He loves his writing more than anything in the world. And I watched him drag the story into the trash.”
“I know what I did was really shitty and that wasn’t my story to tell.
It’s her story and I was supposed to walk with her through it.
I was supposed to be a supporting character, and that’s really what I was trying to do at the beginning.
But everything just got so screwed up.” I stare at the ground.
“Hey, we all make mistakes,” Claire says.
“I still can’t believe you deleted the story,” Leo says. “Just like that.”
“I swear I did,” I say.
“Not like that,” she says. “I believe what you’re saying. It’s just… you’re really risking your college applications, your future—”
“I’m not risking my future,” I say. “I mean, yeah, it’s definitely thrown a wrench in things, but I don’t think one story can ruin my future.
And I don’t think going to a big-name college is the only future that was waiting for me.
” I look at Leo. “Besides, I care more about your cousin than any story.”
Leo throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I accept her hug awkwardly, patting her back with one hand.
“I knew my prima wasn’t stupid to fall in love with someone like you,” she says.
I pull back, holding Leo by her shoulders. “Wait. She loves me?”
She rolls her eyes and throws her head back. “It’s been obvious since she met you.”
“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?” Claire asks.
Janko comes over and rustles my hair. “This is the Auggie I know,” he says, grinning at me.
I run my own hand through my hair. “But I think I’m moving toward an even better one.”
Kate jumps up and waves her hands. “I love this and all, and totally jealous of the friendships because my clique is nowhere near this healthy, but how do we make this Auggie and Mayte thing happen? She hasn’t been at my house in over a week and I’m freaking out because she was going to do my homecoming makeup. ”
Everyone looks at her.
She smirks. “Blah blah blah, and of course because I want them to be happy.”
I smile.