Chapter 26
Elspeth couldn’t complain about her journey back to Edinburgh, because Struan ensured that everything was managed so that she had the finest carriage, the best lodging, and the fastest ship passage home.
Alas, unlike the earlier calm and sunny voyage, the high, rough seas this time made her horribly seasick, no matter how beautiful and swift the ship was.
She was also perhaps a little feverish. When she got to Edinburgh, on the street of her family’s house, for a moment she thought she saw two of the gentlemen who’d attended her wedding.
But by the time she really looked, they were gone.
When she arrived at the door of her childhood home, she expected that her family would be surprised. However, she did not expect them to be annoyed.
“What are you doing here?” her father asked, looking at her as if she were a rat slinking in from the street.
“I’m here for Averill’s engagement festivities,” Elspeth said. “I received an invitation.”
“Aye, it had to be sent. For appearances. No one thought you’d come.”
“Well, I did.”
“We don’t have a guest room for you. They’re all given to guests.”
“What happened to my room?” She’d been gone only a few months!
Her father looked blank. Then he said, “Oh, right. Well, you can have that. We wouldn’t put guests there.
” There were bags under his eyes, and while his outfit was made of the finest materials, and clearly well-tailored, the overall effect was that of a man stuffed into something that didn’t suit him.
His skin was greyish, and he gripped a glass of brandy like a lifeline.
Was he always like that? It had not been terribly long since Elspeth had left this house, so it was all the more surprising to register several differences in the place…or perhaps to recognize some things had always been different from how she’d perceived them.
Her stepmother was also different. Still effortlessly elegant, and still lovely of face and form, even two decades beyond what most people in society considered to be the bloom of a woman’s life.
But there was a dullness to her complexion that suggested some greater struggle, and downward lines at either side of her mouth that had not been there before—had they?
Elspeth always pictured her stepmother as a woman of ultimate leisure and supreme serenity.
How could such a woman show any signs of hardship?
“Elspeth, you’re looking well,” Susan said, getting over her surprise at last.
“Your clothes are infinitely better,” Averill allowed with a sniff. “Who did you go to? Someone who made all the decisions, for you never showed the slightest genius for dress.”
“I suppose not,” Elspeth said softly, not answering the rest of the question. She recognized at long last that Averill didn’t care about the answer, and the inquiry was made solely for the purpose of appending the insult.
“Your gown is finely made,” her stepmother agreed. “But I was referring to your health. You’ve gained color, and you’ve filled out a bit. The Highland air must agree with you.”
“It’s a beautiful country,” Elspeth said. “Though not to everyone’s taste.”
“The Highland food must be to your taste,” Averill sneered. “You used to be so slender.”
Because she’d worked all day long and scarcely remembered to eat, Elspeth thought, recalling the effort she expended to keep this house at its shining best. Even the maids used to tell her to rest. And when a chambermaid thought you worked too much, that was saying something.
Struan’s firm injunction against her doing most domestic labor had forced her to rest, to live the life other members of her family had been living for years.
“Where is Mairi?” she asked, striving for a new topic.
“At some dreary meeting with her coven,” Averill replied with a spiteful smile. “I imagine she’ll return for the evening meal. Like you, she never misses a chance to gorge at the trough.”
“Averill, idle gossip is a trait of the lower classes,” her mother said with a slight frown.
“I state facts, Mama,” Averill countered, her smile turning impish. “It’s not gossip if it’s true, is it?”
“Yes, it is gossip,” Elspeth said before her stepmother could reply. “And it is most unkind.”
Averill rolled her eyes. “Will you be such a nag the whole time you’re here? Should you not be at your husband’s townhome this time?”
“He’s still in the Highlands,” Elspeth admitted. “I came on my own.”
“On your own!” Susan repeated, incredulous. “Elspeth McGregor, that’s no journey for a lady on her own!”
“I was well provided for,” she said stiffly. Just incredibly miserable and lonely. “And I have a maid with me. I didn’t mean I rode bareback the whole way.”
That remark made Susan look as if she were about to faint.
Elspeth took that as her cue to go to her room and unpack.
This time she had plenty of luggage—more than she’d ever owned before.
The maids managed to pack things Elspeth hadn’t even remembered receiving from the seamstress, so who knew how big her wardrobe actually was?
There was barely anywhere to put the clothes.
Had her room always been this small and… there was no other way to put it…sad?
Though she’d kept it clean and neat as pin, the walls ought to have been painted years ago, the rug on the floor was a castoff put away up here so visitors wouldn’t see the holes, and none of the furniture was from the same century.
The truth was that this room wasn’t good enough for houseguests…
but it had been considered good enough for Elspeth.
Why hadn’t anyone objected?
No, she thought. Why hadn’t she objected?
Why was Elspeth so happy for scraps?
* * * *
Later, Elspeth found her father in the luxurious chamber he used as sitting room, office, and bedroom. He was closing the door behind him when she called out his name. He turned, displeasure on his expression. “I must prepare for dinner. This isn’t a good time to talk.”
“Is it ever a good time?” Elspeth asked.
“We’re preparing for your sister’s wedding. You ought to have some compassion and understanding.”
“Forgive my surprise, Father, but how would I have ever dreamed you would spend so much effort on one daughter when you simply handed me off to a stranger in lieu of payment?”
His eyes flickered as he took in her words. “He agreed you should not be told.”
That was it. No sympathy, or expression of regret.
Nor even the grace to look ashamed at being discovered.
Just annoyance at the other man for breaking an understanding.
Elspeth’s feelings did not enter into it at all.
“He didn’t tell me. I found out through other means.
And indeed, that’s not important at the moment.
What I want from you is an explanation.”
“Explanation of what?”
“For why you did it!”
“I should think that would be obvious. I had some faint hope that the bastard would die in the war, for then everything might have been much easier. But he did come back, and he was most insistent on executing the terms of the loan. Had the gall to tell me I ought to have known what was coming, since I had extra years to gather the funds. As if it’s so easy to find money lying about! ”
“You can hardly resent a man who asks you to fulfill the bargain you yourself agreed to,” Elspeth said. “But my question is why you decided that I was an acceptable substitute for cash?”
“An even more obvious answer than the first, you silly girl. Disfigured as he is, the man would’ve had the devil’s own time pursuing a wife on the marriage mart.
Yes, he’s wealthy as sin, but hideous. I only mentioned marriage in passing, because he asked why I was spending so much money.
But I could tell even then that it was something the man feared.
And one that he would be most willing to manage via other means.
It was all in all a most modern and painless exchange. ”
“Painless? It took me away from the only family I know! Do you forget that I was not even permitted to meet him before the day?”
“Be reasonable, Elspeth. If you had seen him, would you have gone through with the wedding? Of course not.” He answered his own question with the only reply he could understand. “I saw an advantageous business transaction, and I took it. That’s what a practical man does.”
“You speak as though it was not a person involved in your so-called transaction. How could you treat me so callously?”
“Callously? It is an odd complaint you make, when I have secured for you a comfortable life with an income that will support you until your last days.”
“With a man that you yourself consider hideous.”
He shrugged. “What did you think you were entitled to? Are you some princess in a fairy tale, and it is my role to find you the most handsome prince?”
“That’s what you’re doing for Averill.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“You weary me, Elspeth.” He stalked toward his bedchamber.
She said, “All I wish to know is why you offered me up in marriage. Why not Mairi? Or Averill?”
“Mairi is always spouting off about the rights of women and other distasteful subjects. Any man unlucky enough to end up with her will likely need to exercise some strenuous physical discipline to bring her to heel. And as for Averill, it would be absurd to even consider that I would do anything to upset Susan’s hopes for her. ”
“But I am your daughter. Or have you forgotten my mother so completely?”
He whirled around, his eyes blazing as he advanced upon her. “Don’t ever speak of your mother to me! She was a jewel among women, and if not for you, she would still be alive today!” Then he struck her across the cheek, hard.
Elspeth stumbled back, away from his wrath. Her cheek stung worse than the burning from the fire.