Kai
Five beers each and a shared whiskey bottle later, Leo and I are standing under Rachel's window, and by standing, I mean Leo is standing and I am sitting on his shoulders trying to reach the damn plant that has found its way up her wall.
She showed up in my bar asking why I disappeared.
She wants me. And who am I to deprive my little criminal of my presence?
So here we are, trying to break in through a window on the second floor—not my brightest idea, but with this much alcohol in my system, I think I get a pass. Besides, I just want to say hello to the pretty girl who had the nerve to kidnap me and start our love story with a bang.
“Come here, you stupid fucking shit.” I reach for the plant again, but Leo loses his balance once more, and we go one step back and two forward until we crash against the wall. I put both hands on the wall to keep us steady.
“This is a very bad idea,” Leo murmurs as he tries to keep his balance and clearly fails. He takes one step away from the wall, then one more a little to the left, then to the right, and I’m barely keeping myself upright. This asshole will get us caught.
“Get a grip,” I whisper. “This is a great idea.”
“Do you really think so?” A very drunk Leo is a very easy-to-convince Leo. I’m not a monster, though, and even though I could lie through my teeth and pretend this is a great idea in this moment—influenced by alcohol, no doubt—I decide to go with honesty.
“No, it’s a terrible idea, and we might need to find a good lawyer if we’re going to continue our new hobby,” I tell him.
“You said it wouldn’t come to that,” Leo yells.
Seriously now, he can’t be that easy to convince.
It’s obvious that this is a crazy situation no normal human being would ever be in.
But then again, I wouldn’t call the woman I’m stalking normal.
She kidnapped a biker because she saw a couple of videos and read a bunch of romance books.
Why should I be any better if she started it?
“Shut up!” If she doesn’t call the cops, the neighbors will with all the noise he’s making.
“Just a little bit to the left,” I bark, and Leo moves to the right.
“No! No! The other left!” I yell, and he steps further to the right.
“I’m going to kill you, dude. Get it together.
” This time my threat seems to find its target, and Leo steps to the left.
“Good boy. Now do that again.” Instead of taking another step to the left, Leo steps back to his previous position. “You have got to be kidding me!”
“What was that?” Leo questions.
“I said you’re doing a great job, buddy.
” I lie this time because the truth is he’s doing a terrible job and we’re definitely going to get caught.
I’m half-convinced, though, that Rachel is into a little stalking, even though she acts as if she isn’t.
She did kidnap a biker to fulfill a fantasy, after all.
Of course, she could have picked anyone else—and I mean it.
Anyone else, who would probably not stalk her in return.
The sound of a police siren echoes from a distance, but I try to ignore it. I reach for the plant again, and Leo steps to the opposite side. Again. This guy is making my life hell at this moment.
“Was that a police siren?” he asks as he tries to steady himself again. I can barely keep myself on his shoulders at this point, and the plant gets farther away with every step.
“No, of course not. Who would call the cops on us?” I say, completely unbothered, as I try to reach the damn plant again.
“What the hell are you two thinking you’re doing?
” a deep male voice comes from behind us, and Leo turns to look at the man who’s shining a flashlight right in our direction.
One wrong step, and there we are, both on the ground with a cop looking at us like we were caught with our hands in the cookie jar.
“I think we got caught,” Leo slurs, loud enough for everyone in the damn neighborhood to hear.
“Really, Leo? What was your first clue, buddy?” I spit back. He laughs because he’s too drunk to understand that we’re about to go to jail for trespassing.
“They’re drunk,” another police officer says, approaching us and his partner.
“Let’s take them to the station, and we can see if the owner of the house will press charges.
” I try to stand and help Leo to stand as well, but it’s a failed attempt.
He falls back to the ground, and one of the police officers steps toward us to help him up.
I allow him to and step back, letting the officer do his job.
“I think there’s a misunderstanding,” I say with my best imitation of a sober person. “This is my girlfriend’s house. I just forgot my key.” I lie.
“Is your girlfriend Rachel Roberts?” the officer asks.
“Yes, Officer,” I respond with confidence, and the man who just handcuffed Leo comes my way with another set of handcuffs.
“Cuff him,” his partner says. What the hell?
“But I just explained to you...” I try to argue, but he cuts me off.
“Miss Roberts is the one who made the complaint. She was truly disturbed by the fact that two strange men were trying to break into her home.” Seriously?
That’s where she draws the line? Breaking into her house? The second officer secures the cuffs around my wrists, and he motions for me to walk toward the police car parked at the end of the driveway.
Leo turns to me and mouths, “I hate you.” And honestly, right now, I kind of hate myself too.