Chapter 19
19
brIAR
“ W e’ve been going over our schedule, and it may have to be modified,” Zhuri says over the phone.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that Leo’s image is, well, to put it mildly, really fucked up. and I think we may have to take a little more of an aggressive approach.”
“What does that entail?”
“Well, depending on how things go, I think you guys are going to have to move quickly. Get the media talking about how you guys are so incredibly in love, you’re definitely soulmates, instead of, well, everything else he’s been doing this off season.”
Drinking, passing out in people’s yards, getting in some fights. Most of it has been swept under the rug, but some of it was too public for that.
Leo has been out of control, and even he knows it, no matter what he says.
Last year he got in a huge fight with my brother over how Owen was dating Isla. All I know is that his mother let him have it, but it was too late. Owen hadn’t talked to Isla for weeks. I’m pretty sure until the Super Bowl, actually.
But he never stopped caring about her. Leo had hung his career over his head, and Owen couldn’t justify throwing away his career. But he knew Leo would come around.
It took a long time.
I can’t be totally sure, but I’m willing to bet Leo is still a little irritated at the whole situation to this day.
But Isla is the little sister. Doesn’t make it any better, but there’s an expectation.
I’m older than Owen by a couple of years, and I’ve already been through some of the worst things I could go through. I can take care of myself, and Owen knows that. Which is exactly what he had told me after Leo left their place the other day.
“Is there anything extra that I have to be aware of?” I ask her hesitantly.
“Well, how do you feel about an engagement?”
I choke on my coffee.
“Fake engagement?”
“Yeah. You don’t have to go through with getting married of course, but that would be big news. I think you’re already doing wonders for him, but we need to get the media to stop talking about how he’s spotted with a new woman after being caught with strippers coming out of a hotel room. That story has been a bitch to get past.”
I’d say so.
“I—” What am I supposed to say? I’m absolutely thrilled to get engaged to a man I don’t want anything to do with?
That’s a lie.
“I think that’s fine,” I tell her finally.
“Great. I’ll see what we can do, but I just wanted to run that by you. You’ve been doing great! I’ll be in touch.”
When she finally hangs up, I hold my head in my hands, wanting to scream .
“You okay mom?” Elara asks, her little button nose to the sky as she looks up at me perched on my stool.
I nod, considering it’s the only thing I can really do. What else am I going to tell her?
“Yeah Bub. Just trying to sort out life.”
She nods, sighing as if she too has to pay bills and find a job. Grabbing her water off the counter, she holds it up to me. “Cheers to that,” she mutters before taking a sip.
“Where did you hear that?” I ask, not sure if I should be annoyed or enthused.
She shrugs just as the doorbell rings.
“Is that Heidi?” Elara asks, a large grin stretching across her face.
I smile back, nodding.
Elara has taken quite the liking to Heidi, and over the last few days they’ve become quite close.
Of course, Heidi was made to sign an NDA and knows about everything going on here. All our close friends and family do. But the keyword is close. My parents still don’t know, and I’m not sure if they pay close enough attention to the media to really know about it at all.
“I brought snacks!” Heidi yells as she walks in holding a large bag of every kind of snack you can possibly imagine.
Elara looks like she’s in heaven.
“Great,” I mutter, but in reality I’m thankful for her.
“Is Isla coming over too?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “She’s coming over later tonight. She has some business she’s doing right now. But she’s going to bring a movie.”
“Great. Well, there’s dinner in the fridge but I assume you may want to get takeout, so there’s also money on the counter. I’ll just have what I made for lunches if that’s what you guys do. Um,” I look around, trying to think of anything I may have forgotten. “Champ needs to go out a couple of times, obviously. He’s still a puppy. Other than that there’s nothing else I don’t think.”
“If I have questions are you going to be able to text?” Heidi asks, twisting her hair up and fastening it with a claw clip.
I nod. “I should be. And if I don’t answer, Isla knows us well enough to know whatever you need.”
“Great,” Heidi flashes me her teeth as she smiles at my daughter, bending over to give her a hug.
“If we’re out really late, you’re more than welcome to crash in my bed or in one of the guest rooms. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod. “It’s more than okay. Make yourself at home.”
Isla’s friends have been more than friendly with me since I first met them. I would trust any of them with Elara, and I’m so happy they were in that coffee shop that day.
I still need to take Amara out for lunch to thank her for helping me.
And for not immediately telling Isla.
My brother still doesn’t know the extent of my predicament. In his mind this is just something I thought I should do. Maybe to get out of doing a real job, I’m not so sure.
Maybe just so I could spend more time with Elara. Which, well, that one’s true. A different job would take me away from her, pay less, and it would cost far more to find childcare.
I’d be spending as much as I was making, and that’s not including rent and all of those other necessities.
If all goes well, Owen won’t ever have to know. The second he finds out he’s going to go into fixer mode, and I’ve never done well with that.
I can take care of myself.
Leaving Heidi and Elara to gossip in the family room, I head to my room to finish getting ready.
It’s weird to say my room, despite it being exactly that. Elara and I haven’t been back to my place, and although Leo did inform me that he had someone not only repair the door, but also install security, but I still don’t feel safe there.
I still don’t want Elara there. At all.
Rummaging through my closet, I realize that I have nothing. Not a thing to wear.
Wear your best, Leo had told me before grabbing his coffee and leaving this morning.
What if my best is a twenty-dollar sundress from Target?
Groaning, I pull my phone out, tapping Leo’s name. He answers in a few seconds.
“You got lucky you caught me while I’m in the locker room, Sunny. What’s up?”
“I don’t have anything to wear,” I tell him, my palm on my forehead as I look around.
“You have a ton of clothes. I carried them up the stairs the other day.” Their elevator was broken, and he did in fact carry a large box of clothes up hundreds of stairs.
“But nothing fancy, Leo. I don’t know if I can do this.”
It dawns on me that I’m going to have to do this all the time. Leo is rich. Richer than rich. The man is loaded. There’s galas and diners and probably balls and most likely a million other things that I’m going to have to look fancy for, and yet I have nothing.
Leo pays me well, but I’m not really looking to spend all of the money I get paid on clothes.
“I’m getting out of here in a little bit. I’m just going to shower quickly and throw on a suit. How about I just take you shopping before we go out?”
Part of me likes the sound of that. I pause, pretending to think about it.
He sighs. “I’ll pay…” he trails off.
“You were going to pay no matter what but I sincerely appreciate the offer, Warner,” I tell him with a smile.
He grunts. “Okay. Well, I have to get back to it. I’ll be home in about two hours. ”
Okay. I can do this. Two hours? Super easy. I just have to do my makeup and my hair. Won’t take that long, right?
Wrong.
Nothing is working. My makeup looks too dry and crusty, my hair looks too frizzy. I’m sitting on the floor in front of the window for the lighting, and that’s still not even helping.
A knock on my door snaps me out of my pity party. “Come in,” I call, slouching.
“Is there anything I can help with?” Heidi pops her head in. “We heard some yelling.”
Did I yell? Yeah. Not surprised.
“Actually, do you know anything about hair and makeup?” I ask hesitantly. I assume she does, considering her hair is always beautiful.
Heidi’s face lights up as she nods with a large smile, opening the door further and stepping in.
“Do you have any idea about what you want it to look like?”
I shrug. “I was just trying to curl it, but it’s not sticking.”
“Sometimes we just have those days. I’ll help.”
Coming up behind me, she kneels down before grabbing my curling iron.
“So Leo, huh?” she asks with a small smile.
Rolling my eyes, I bite my cheek to stop from smiling back. “You know the situation.”
She nods, grabbing a chunk of hair and running her fingers through it before curling it. “He’s not that bad, you know. I mean, he definitely has his faults, but I’ve known him for over half my life. He’s just a big goof.”
“Has he always gotten into trouble like this?” I ask her.
“No,” she tells me, and I can feel her shake her head from behind me. “I think Leo is incredibly kind and has done a lot for his friends and family. When someone’s responsible for that much, sometimes I think they have trouble not being in control of a situation. ”
“What do you mean, he’s done a lot for his friends and family?”
Her hand pauses in my hair, and she’s silent for a minute. “Owen hasn’t told you anything about him?”
I shake my head. As much as my brother may understand that I know what’s best for me, he hasn’t exactly encouraged a friendship with Leo.
“Owen just had to buy Isla’s apartment from him, because he bought it specifically for her to live in for free.”
“For free?” I’m not sure how to process that information.
Heidi nods. “Yeah. Isla has always wanted to be an artist, and her whole life it was always about what Leo wanted to do. Their whole lives revolved around it. If she had a big showing or something at school, and Leo had a football game, her parents would drop everything for Leo’s game.
Now, that doesn’t mean they weren’t supportive. Everyone could just tell that Leo was going places. And he did. He got paid by the NFL and immediately retired his parents. He pays for them to live in Scotland. Pretty sure I heard Isla bitching about how he bought his mom several cows the other day, actually. Her dad has been annoyed about it.”
I itch my cheek, careful not to smudge anything. “So he retired his parents and has also paid for Isla to live there rent-free?”
Heidi nods. “She always offers to pay him but he always says no. I think he realized what people gave up for him, and wanted to give some back to her.”
“I can’t imagine taking care of your whole family that young though,” I mutter, looking down at my hands as Heidi curls another chunk of hair, the heat from the curler warming my scalp.
“Yeah, I’d imagine so. But that’s what I mean. I think that he just cares too much sometimes. And I think when he’s not in control of a situation he self-sabotages in order to be in control again. Even if it’s negative.”
It makes sense. If someone has been taking care of their entire family for years, ever since they were basically a kid still, it would be hard to take a step back.
“Do you think he felt out of control after the Super Bowl and that’s why he started to spiral?”
Heidi sighs. “That’s my working theory, but don’t hold me to that. Leo needs therapy, that’s for sure. But I do think that all of the extra attention and the issues between him and Owen were definitely a factor. He couldn’t control what was happening anymore, and he hated that.”
“He doesn’t have a right to control what his sister does though,” I tell her. If Owen acted the way I heard Leo acted, I’d have chewed his head off.
“You’re completely right. But I find that understanding why people may do something makes it easier to handle them. Communication is so important, you know?” She shrugs.
And I get it.
I was out in the family room with Elara and Heidi when Leo came home, soaked with sweat from practice. He looked tired, but then again, he always looks tired around this time of the year. Owen does too.
“I’m going to hop in the shower,” he tells us quietly before heading upstairs without another word.
When he’s done, he comes downstairs in a gray suit, and my jaw nearly hits the floor.
I don’t think I’ve seen a suit fit anyone better.
Like a goddamn glove .
The pants sit on his thighs in the most delicious way, showing off every single muscle he has in them.
I have to look away.
“Look okay?” Leo asks with a smile, turning around.
“Mhm,” I say simply, not taking my eyes off his face. He’s not going to catch me checking him out, that’s for sure.
Remember Briar, he’s on your Absolutely Not list.
“Great. Ready to go?”
The only thing I can do is nod, and when I stand up, I suddenly feel like a slob next to him in my simple skinny jeans, halter top, and jacket. I know we’re going shopping first, but I can’t help but worry about how underdressed I am next to him.
“Thank you for taking me shopping,” I tell him. Although I don’t want my brother spending money on me, I’ll gladly take Leo’s. After all, I may have to be fake engaged to him. He owes me for what I’m putting up with.
Unlike the last time I was in his car, I feel a little more at ease now. I was so caught up in looking natural and worrying about what the new publicist was going to do or say—a reasonable fear, considering the very real outcome of that meeting—that I wasn’t able to fully get comfortable.
But this time? It feels like I’m just in the car with a friend.
“I owe it to you. I’ll take you for a shopping spree again soon, or I’ll just give you my card and you can go with the girls. I don't care which, but I know you need some new clothes.”
A lot of my clothes were conveniently missing from my place, which is a little fishy if I do say so myself. I’m not sure what Tony or anyone else needs with a couple of dresses I had on my hangers, but I hope they enjoy them. Truly.
The only things I have at Leo’s is sweatpants, a couple pairs of jeans, a lot of t-shirts, and a few dresses.
“We’re not going anywhere over the top fancy, right?” I ask him .
“Do you mean for dinner or for shopping?
I shrug, not entirely sure which one I meant myself.
“Dinner is definitely fancy. But it’s one of my favorite spots. As for shopping, I’m not sure. I don’t really go shopping with women, so I had one of my teammates' wives suggest a spot.”
So what I’m hearing is it’s probably going to be super expensive.
When we’re finally there, Leo finds a parking spot before we climb out, heading toward the large glass doors of an incredibly fancy looking storefront.
A beautiful woman with long brown hair greets us with a large smile. “Hi! You must be Briar. It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Kayla. Leo tells me you’re here looking for an outfit for a nice dinner?”
This is already overwhelming.
“Uh, yeah I guess so,” I say, shooting Leo a look. But he’s already walked a little ways away, looking over the clothing racks of some of the most beautiful clothes.
Kayla starts heading to the back and I follow close behind like a lost puppy, not sure what else to do. “Do you have any particular style?” she asks, looking over racks as we go.
“No, I don’t think so. I mean, I have some sun dresses but nothing too fancy. I’m usually wearing jeans or sweats or something like it.”
“Do you wear a lot of skirts?”
“No, but I do like them.”
When I got divorced, a lot of things changed. Tony was a rich man, and I had gotten used to living that way. But living off of the little he gives me has been hard, and has left little room in the budget for new clothes at all.
While in a past life I would have experimented and stuck with a style, I’m not there anymore. I deal with what I have, and go with it .
She nods. “Great, and I assume you want a more upscale, classy feel from this?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’d say.”
Showing me the fitting room, I take a seat on the couch while Kayla scurries off to load up on some outfits.
When Leo doesn’t join me. I lean over, trying to peer around the wall.
Is he off flirting with the stylist?
Did he get lost looking for something? I wouldn’t put it past him.
“Leo?” I whisper, leaning over even further on the couch.
“You good, Sunny?” he asks as he comes around the corner.
Immediately straightening, I square my shoulders, brushing fuzz off my jeans.
“Obviously,” I say, not sure why I’m suddenly feeling insecure.
With a smirk on his handsome, stupid face, Leo comes further into the room. “Want me to check you out?”
“Excuse me?”
“Do you want me to check out the outfits she has for you?”
My eyes narrow on his. “I can figure it out myself, thanks.”
He shrugs simply, his green eyes brightening with amusement as he walks over, taking a seat next to me, his legs spread wide.
“I don’t think it’s possible for you to take up more room than you are,” I tell him, slightly irritated.
“You don’t know what I can do, Sunny. These legs can spread so much wider. Practice makes perfect.”
“I’m sure you have a lot of practice spreading your legs,” I scoff, rolling my eyes.
But he nods. “Yep,” he says simply, and I can’t tell if he’s just not getting it or if he’s being serious .
I decide I don’t care enough to find out.
When he starts tapping his hand against the back of the couch, I snap. “And stop calling me Sunny,” I tell him, a little more aggressive than I intended.
His eyes meet mine, a quizzical look glazing over them. “It’s a term of endearment though.”
I shake my head. “It feels like you’re mocking me.”
“What would be a good nickname then?”
I shake my head, getting more and more annoyed by the second. “Leo, I don't want a nickname.”
He leans forward, his elbows on his thighs. “Well, that’s no fun.”
Before I can respond, the woman comes in, her arms loaded with clothes. Leo immediately gets up, taking them from her.
Her eyes sparkle as she smiles at him before turning to me. “I got you an array of items! When you find what you like, I’ll pull out some shoes that may match.”
With one last grateful smile Leo’s way, she disappears back to the front of the store.
Leo looks at me expectantly, placing both his hands behind his head and leaning back. I watch as he spreads his legs once more, the gray material of his slacks seemingly fighting for its life as it stretches.
Why are you even looking? I scold myself, and before he can say something sassy, I fly out of my seat and into the curtained fitting room.
When Tony and I were married, we’d go to galas and expensive, nice dinners all the time. I’d frequently dress up, and I had a beautiful closet full of thousand dollar dresses. I was never a huge fan of those events, much preferring to stay in with Elara, make pizza, and watch a movie curled up on the couch.
But Tony was a social butterfly, and wanted to go out, meet people, and drink .
Drink a lot.
And so he did, which is also how it was so easy for him to be unfaithful and hide it from me.
I still can’t smell berry perfume without thinking of the pain of realization.
Tugging up the sleeves of the first dress, I eye myself in the mirror. I look frumpy, my hair a little more frizzy despite my best efforts, my hips looking a little too round.
“Can I see?” Leo calls from the other side of the curtain.
I shake my head, and when I quickly realize he can’t see me, I call, “No, I don’t like this one.”
“Come on, let me see, Sunny,” he chuckles.
Seeing red and momentarily forgetting what I just said, I whip the curtain aside, stepping out. “I told you to stop calling me that,” I hiss, heat rising up my neck.
But Leo doesn’t say anything. Instead, he’s watching me intensely, his eyes raking up my body. Suddenly hyper-aware of the situation I put myself in, I cross my arms over my torso before turning, attempting to retreat.
“Briar?” he asks quietly. I stop, not turning around. When I don’t say anything, he continues. “You look beautiful in that.”
I shake my head. “Leo, if this situation is going to work, we can’t lie to each other.”
Tucking his bottom lip under his teeth, Leo cocks his head, his eyes focused on mine with an intensity I’ve never felt from him before. “I’m not lying.”
Shivers erupt down my back, and I quickly retreat into the dressing room, flinging the dress off.
I’m not sure what that was, but I wasn’t a fan…
Is what I tell myself.
I tried on what felt like a million outfits all within the span of an hour, and there were only a couple that I actually felt great in. None of the dresses, but that’s okay. I’ll have to come back and get some more for future events.
When I stepped out of the changing room in a black skirt that reaches mid-thigh, with a green bodysuit underneath, I rendered Leo speechless. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, considering some of the dresses I had tried on were truly gorgeous. Was he just looking at my body? Was there something wrong with me? What kind of speechless was this? The good kind? The you-look-embarrassing kind?
But my worries were quickly proven null when a large smile spread over his handsome face. “That’s the one!” he says, clapping his hands. “You look so happy in that.”
And I did. I do. Something breathable and more me than anything else I had on. Sure, dresses are gorgeous and I’m looking forward to dressing up on occasion in the future. But I wasn’t sure how I felt about them for a simple dinner.
After we had that situated, the sales associate helped me choose a pair of thigh-high boots to go with it and some jewelry.
While I would normally be concerned about the price, adding up every dollar in my brain to make sure that I didn’t go over what I had budgeted for this, I didn’t really care this time. Leo was taking care of it.
This was all for Leo.
A business expense.
But when they read out the total and he handed over his card, I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t feel at least a little bit bad. “I can contribute some,” I tell him as we leave the store.
“That won’t be happening Briar, and it’s best not to test me on that.”
I stop in my place.
“What the hell does that mean? ”
“It means what you think it means. I won’t be tested on that. I paid for it. You don’t have to worry. Come on, let’s go.”
I shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you if you’re going to be a dick, Leo.”
He stops, his back still to me, and sighs, rolling his shoulders before turning to me. “Briar, with all due respect, I just bought you over two grand worth of clothes because I wanted to. Because I wanted you to feel good about yourself because your dickhead of an ex-husband took half your clothes or some shit. Can you please, please just give me this?”
I’ve never felt like such an asshole.
Sure, Leo can be a dick. And sure, sometimes he uses money to get out of sticky situations. But this wasn’t one of those, and I knew that.
“I just don’t want to be threatened,” I say quietly, retreating into myself. “I really appreciate what you did for me.”
His face softens as he walks over in two strides, wrapping his arms around me and placing his chin on my head.
And I become all too aware of him.
Leo Warner.
Hugging me.
My head in his chest.
No, a little under his chest. Leo is a massive man.
“I—”
“We’re having a moment here, Sunny. Shush for a minute.”
And I do. I don’t even argue about him calling me Sunny again.
“They said that they called some people to alert them we’d be here, so if you see any cameras, just ignore them, okay? Pretend like they don’t exist.”
I salute him, grabbing my purse before reaching for the door.
“Don’t you dare touch that door,” Leo says before jumping out and rounding the back of the car. When he reaches me, he opens the door, offering me his hand.
“You’re really playing this up, aren’t you?” I whisper.
He smiles, the dimple in his right cheek more pronounced in the evening light, his eyes twinkling. “Are you calling me charming?”
“I’m calling you casuistic.”
He clicks his tongue with a smile as he pulls me out, directing me to the restaurant. “That would also infer that you think I’m smart, Crosby, and you and I both know that’s not something you believe.”
I watch him, honestly shocked he even knew what that word means.
Because I don’t entirely believe Leo Warner is smart. Sure, in some ways he may be. He’s amazing on the field. He’s a genius athlete.
But that was the extent of it.
As if sensing this realization, the corner of Leo’s lips lift in a smirk, and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes.
As we near the entrance to the restaurant, Leo places his hand at the small of my back, leading me in, and it feels scorching.
But I realize that I don’t hate it.