Chapter Twenty-Two
Elliot
At first, everything was black. When Morgana led me into that same blackness that Grym had when I’d died, and he wasn’t with me, my chest ached. Or more precisely, my heart.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Not without Grym.
Morgana held me by the shoulders. “Donn will make our lives miserable there, punishing us if he gets his way. And for what? For loving someone? It’s not fair to any of us.
Not you or me. So what of the changes this all brings?
The human realm wasn’t meant to hold souls long-term.
I get that, but what of the love you and Grym have?
What of the love the others will have? Me?
Phineas and Ossy, if they can get their heads out of their asses.
We must appeal to Aengus. I don’t see another way. ”
Well, that was a speech. “Maybe you should say all that to this Aengus guy.”
“He’s a god. Please don’t call him a guy. At least not to his face.” She actually made air quotes with her fingers. “You’re the only one who can walk between realms. At least until the others bond.”
I sighed.
It was old news to me, something pounded into me almost since the day I met Grym. Also, the pounding had been literal. Grym gave it to me good.
I knew I had a dopey smile on my face just thinking about the fucking Grym had given me. Thinking about it calmed the panic.
Morgana snapped her fingers in front of my face as if I were in a trance.
Hell, maybe I was. Maybe Grym’s dick had hypnotized me, and this was all a dream.
Not a nightmare. In no way could the best sex of my life give me nightmares.
And since it couldn’t, there was no reason to be scared, was there?
I nodded. “I’m in. But first, I want to know how I can get here if needed. Like, here, here. Into that black in-between nothing space.”
“We call it the between. Not the in-between. It’s literally the space between realms. Think of it as a hallway.” That was a great little lesson, but it didn’t answer my question.
“How do I get here by myself?” Getting back to Grym was my top priority.
“You can’t. You need a reaper.”
“Or a demon.” They came to the living realm, which meant they could use the between, too.
“Never go anywhere with a demon. They’ll lead you into the unknown. We’d never find you.” She didn’t consider the god of love’s realm unknown? To me, it was. I’d never been anywhere but on Earth with other humans, and in the between, of course.
I had to remind myself it was a dream, not a nightmare. I shut my eyes and created my first affirmation. “Grym’s dick leads to happy endings. Grym’s dick leads to happy endings.”
Morgana sighed. “Could we focus, please?”
“I am focusing.” On Grym’s dick. Well, and on the rest of Grym, too. I liked all of him. His dick was just my favorite part.
“On the task, Elliot.” She’d finally stopped using my full name when she addressed me. That was progress, I guess.
I opened my eyes and met her gaze. “Look, I’m not even sure all this is real.
It feels like it’s fucking not. Grym is the only thing I can be sure of.
No way could the best sex of my life not be real.
That means I don’t have to fear anything, because no way would Grym stick me in some kind of nightmare, right?
It’s a dream. And dreams have happy endings. ”
Morgana blinked at me as if I’d spoken in a foreign language. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
She didn’t disagree with me, so I took it as a good sign. I was all about the dream, not the nightmare.
“Imagine a door.”
A pink door popped into my mind just before it manifested in real time.
It was the only color among all that black.
It put me at ease, though it probably shouldn’t have, given that I didn’t know what waited on the other side.
I knew where Morgana was going with the lesson, though.
She’d asked me to walk through the door into the unknown, which wasn’t exactly the best decision I’d ever made.
“Have I ever told you about the time I actually died? Bike accident, not the badass kind of bike, but an actual bicycle.” Not that bicycles weren’t cool, but they weren’t as badass as a motorcycle.
I didn’t take my eyes off the door, for fear it would grow legs and chase me.
“This feels like that. Like stupidity in the making. You know what I mean?”
“What happened to Grym’s dick creating happy endings?”
“You go through that thing.” There could be monsters behind that door. I mean, if reapers and demons were real, then so were other things. There might even be creatures I’d never heard of.
“Think about the conversation you need to have with Aengus. I met him once. He’s full of himself, if I’m being honest, but he’s a loving person. Kind. I don’t know what else is in his realm, but he won’t hurt you.”
“Just every other creature in there.”
“Picture yourself conversing with him.”
I did what she said, picturing myself speaking to a person wearing a crown seated on a throne. Maybe he looked a little like Cupid, but that might have been some other god’s creation. I pictured red and pink hearts everywhere, as if his castle came out of a crappy Valentine’s Day card.
“I got it.”
“Good.” She guided me toward the door.
When it opened, I saw a forest. It was lush, with a walking path running through it.
I smelled wildflowers and saw birds in the trees.
The birds saw me, even though I hadn’t walked through the door yet.
One squawked, but I wasn’t sure whether it was at me or trying to get the others’ attention, alerting them to my impending arrival.
“Go in, Elliot. All you have to do is have a conversation with Aengus, then get back to us.”
I nodded. “Just the weight of all reapers and their beloveds. No pressure.”
She smiled. “None whatsoever.”
“How will I get back?”
“The same way you got in.”
“Right. Makes sense.” All I had to do was remember what the hell I had done to create the door. Easy peasy.
The door disappeared the instant I crossed the threshold.