Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
A dam looked as flummoxed by her statement as Mel felt. Still, she couldn’t regret saying it, though she probably should pull back a tad so she didn’t scare him off before she’d even started. She gave a self-effacing chuckle, hoping to put him at ease. “Relax. It’s not like I want you to do the ruining yourself.”
Liar.
Heat rose in her cheeks as she waited for him to say something, anything. This was not going the way she’d envisioned things going in her mind. She’d pictured him being surprised, sure, but then he’d warm to the idea and agree, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her off to his rakish bedchamber to claim her body and soul and…
She’d obviously been reading too many historical romances again.
Okay. Fine. Given the way his tanned face had blanched, she really shouldn’t have blurted things out the way she had, but whenever Adam was around, her poised, precise persona seemed to go right out the window. One look from him and she was back to being the insecure, geeky kid who’d basically been his annoying shadow—always there, always silent.
Well, she was an adult now, and she refused to be silent anymore.
Despite his shock, she hoped the awkwardness between them would take care of itself eventually, along with other things.
If he agreed to help her.
“Just so I’m clear, what exactly is it you’re asking me to do, Mel?” Adam’s dark brows raised speculatively. He cleared his throat and smoothed his hands down the front of his jeans, clearly uncomfortable. She found it oddly endearing, seeing the cool bad boy of Point Beacon out of his depth.
Mel invited him into her kitchen for a drink. “I’ve got water or iced tea. There might be some soda in the garage. I can check. Oh, and there’s half a bottle of merlot left from when Lilly came over the other night.”
When he didn’t respond, she turned back around to face him. And man, oh man, did he ever look breathtaking, slouched in the doorway, one broad shoulder leaning against the frame, his long legs crossed at the ankles. And Lord have mercy, those eyes of his—dark as midnight and twice as wicked.
Said eyes were currently narrowed on her, watching closely.
Summoning her last ounce of bravery, Mel continued. “I realize this probably comes as a strange request, considering we haven’t seen each other in a while?— ”
“It’s been eight years, Mel. This is the first time we’ve spoken since I came home.”
True. He had her there, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on her part.
She continued, thinking it best to just put it all out there before she couldn’t anymore. The words rushed out in a nervous tumble. “I need a makeover. Everything from clothes to hair and makeup, but most especially, I need help with the social stuff. A coach who’s in the dating trenches and knows their way around to show me what I’m doing wrong and teach me how to do things right. It has to be someone I can trust, someone who’ll take this seriously and won’t joke about it to other people behind my back. Someone who can keep a secret.”
Oh, that had sounded good. She almost had herself convinced.
Adam shook his head and snorted, pushing away from the doorframe to step farther into the kitchen. The large room suddenly seemed smaller with his presence. “I don’t know anything about all that makeover stuff, and I’m pretty sure my player reputation precedes me as far as dating is concerned. Can’t Lilly help you with this?”
“No. She’s got a worse dating reputation than you,” Mel said, squeaking as the corner of the counter poked her in the butt. She hadn’t realized she’d backed up until now.
The look Adam gave her sent a shot of awareness straight through Mel. The man could do more with one glance than most guys could do with a whole repertoire of foreplay. Or at least that’s what she’d heard.
But she refused to be distracted here. She was in it to win it, darn it. She tamped down the persistent sizzle in her nervous system and lifted her chin. “Besides, she’s trying to build her photography business and traveling a lot. I need someone close by who I can access for advice twenty-four-seven.”
Adam stared at her for another long moment before looking away, a rueful smile curving his firm lips as he rocked back his heels. “You do know how hard it is to keep anything a secret in this town, right?”
“Yes.” The word came out breathy because wow. When had it gotten so hot in there? Her chest squeezed and her pulse raced, and for a crazy second Mel wondered if she would pass out. And wouldn’t that be just typical. If instead of luring Adam Foster, the man of her dreams, to her bed, she face-planted on the kitchen floor. The image of utter humiliation was enough to squelch her ardor for the time being, thank goodness. “And I need a guy’s perspective.”
I need you. It’s always been you.
“Look, Mel, this isn’t a good idea.” His expression softened, and her knees tingled. “We have too much history, and James is my best friend, and if anything happened to you because of this harebrained scheme, I’d never forgive myself.”
“Please,” she implored, sensing her chance slipping away. “You’re right. We do have history. We grew up together. You taught me how to play poker. We all used to hang out in my parents’ basement. You know me better than anyone. That’s how I know you can help me.”
Tears stung the backs of her eyes, and Mel blinked hard to keep them at bay. She would not cry. She wouldn’t. To distract herself, she toyed with the tiny pearl buttons on the front of her cardigan. “I know it might be a little awkward at first because of my whole crush on you back then, but I’m over all that, I promise. This is strictly business.”
Adam sank down on one of the stools at her island, still not looking convinced. “This is a hell of a way to say howdy after all this time, Mel.”
Was that a hint of humor she detected in his voice? She’d thought of all the men in the world, Adam would see her side of things. She’d thought he was different. Then again, she’d had him on a pedestal for so long, he was bound to fall off at some point.
Indignant anger stiffened her resolve, and she met his gaze direct. “This isn’t a joke, Adam. I am not a joke. I thought I could trust you enough to ask for your assistance with my problem.”
He turned away, mumbling what sounded like a curse under his breath. “Look, Mel. You’ve always had some cockeyed vision of me as your knight in shining armor, but I’m not that guy. I never have been. The last time we talked about… this ”—he gestured vaguely toward her then raked a hand through his hair, mussing it even more. “I said no. I thought that was the end of it.”
Mel bit her lip as he stalked to the far side of the room, all lithe and graceful in those faded, stained jeans that perfectly cupping his tight butt. When Adam stopped and sighed, glancing back at her, she looked away fast, her cheeks hot. “Why me, Mel? The truth this time.”
Guilt squeezed her chest, but she couldn’t back down now. She’d come too far. “Because you’re the coolest guy in town, the rebel. And if anyone can help me change my reputation, it’s you. ”
Adam walked back to stand in front of her, his gaze traveling slowly over her from head to toe. She felt that look like a physical caress. “Why do you need a makeover? You look fine to me.”
“ Fine? ” She gave a mirthless laugh and shook her head. “Fine has gotten me exactly nowhere. The guys around here don’t want to date fine. And they certainly don’t want to take fine to bed. I’m going to be twenty-five next month, and I’m still a virgin. How fine is that?”
His eyes widened, and Mel slapped her hand over her mouth. Yeah, she hadn’t meant to say that much. Not tonight anyway.
Adam looked more curious now than interested.
Great. Mel crossed her arms. “Stop looking at me like a zoo exhibit. Some people stay virgins for a long time. Nothing wrong with it.”
“But that’s not what you want,” Adam said.
“No, it’s not.” She gave a disgusted sigh. “I’m tired of being the best friend, the little sister, the sweet librarian who takes in stray cats and teaches kids to read on the weekends.” Waldo meowed loudly and twined his way around her ankles. She closed her eyes. Okay, maybe she did like being those things, but she was also wanted to be so much more. “That’s how everyone in this town sees me, if they notice me at all. I’m tired of being invisible. For once, I want a man to sit up and take notice. I want Point Beacon to see me for who I really am.”
Mel swallowed hard, a sudden lump of sadness clogging her throat. She’d thought she was ready for this conversation with Adam, but obviously she wasn’t. She didn’t want to get emotional. In fact, she’d vowed not to, because the last thing she wanted to see in his eyes was pity.
He stared down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “I’m sorry, Mel. I am.” His deep, resigned tone echoed in the quiet kitchen. “But I’m not the right man for this job. You’re an accomplished woman. You’ve got a college degree. You run that library like a well-oiled machine from what people tell me.” He glanced up at her. “And you’re selling yourself short. Any guy in town would be lucky to have you. If they can’t see that, they don’t deserve you.”
She shifted her weight, wanting to scream. She was determined to lose her virginity before her birthday or die trying. With or without Adam’s help. But man, oh man, did she want his help. She gave it one final shot. “Do me a favor. Stand up and take a step back.”
Adam gave her a wary look but did so.
“Now look at me as a stranger.” Mel smoothed a hand down her twinset and skirt and did her best to not fidget. “Tell me what you see.”
Blood pounded loudly in her ears as she waited.
“I see a brilliant woman who gets things done, a hard worker. Someone dedicated, loyal, smart, caring, confident.” He leaned his hip against the counter, as if expecting her to argue.
She did. “I might be confident at my job, but when it comes to dating, I’m lost. I refuse to spend the rest of my life alone and desperate.”
Adam gave her a conciliatory smile, his teeth white and even against his tanned skin. “I’m sure the right guy will come along soon, Mel. Give it time. ”
“I’ve wasted enough time.” She persisted. “Would you notice me in a crowd, Adam? I doubt it, since the first time you came over to my parents’ house with James, you forgot I was even in the room.”
“One time, Mel. That happened one time and you know it was because I was nervous. I told you that back then and it’s still true now. Jeez. Can you please just drop this?”
They stared at each other until the tension in the room faded and they both ended up sitting on the stools again.
Mel shrugged a shoulder. “Lilly thinks I look like June Cleaver. The guy I went out with tonight couldn’t get away from me soon enough. All the men I’ve dated around here aren’t into me. There’s only one factor present in all these equations. Me. I’m not cool. But you are. You can teach me, Adam. I know you can.”
“Whatever.” He scoffed and rubbed his chin again. “I’m sorry for what you’re going through, Mel, but I just don’t think?—”
“I need to make changes.” She wasn’t above begging, feeling more desperate by the second as her chance with him slipped away. “You’re right. Lilly can help me with some parts, but I still need a guy’s perspective for the dating part, to point me in the right direction. You can’t know what it’s like, how lonely it is without any prospects for the future. I’m a mess.”
Something flared in his dark eyes, there then gone so fast she couldn’t identify it. Not anger. Understanding, maybe.
“You’re not a mess,” he said, taking her hand.
“Then you’re either blind or a liar, Adam Foster.” She pulled free, her skin tingling from his touch. “Lilly’s right, I am June Cleaver. Or worse, I’m Marian the Librarian on steroids. And I want more. More than being the predictable, boring, forgettable woman everyone in this town sets their clocks by.” She wasn’t letting him get away this time. “All I want is to learn how to sparkle.”
“Mel,” he said, his tone imploring. “You sparkle just fine on your own.”
“There’s that word again.” She growled. “I swear if I hear one more ‘fine’ I’m going to?—”
Adam held his hands up. “Maybe you’re picking the wrong guys. Give it time. Nothing happens overnight.”
The sympathy in his voice only set her off more. “Overnight? I’m going to be twenty-five in a month. Don’t you think if the sparkle fairy was going to throw magic pixie dust my way, she would’ve done it by now?”
He straightened. “Based on the way you’re laying into me right now, I don’t think confidence is your problem at all.”
She sighed. “There’s something else. Something I haven’t told anyone else yet. A regional position is opening up soon through the main library branch in Indy next month. It would be a huge promotion and the pay is higher. I’d still be in charge of the Point Beacon library, plus several others in the area. But in order to get it, I need to be able to schmooze the people making the hiring decision.”
“Schmooze, huh?” Adam bent to pick up Waldo, and her pet purred so loud as he stroked its fur Mel got jealous. What she wouldn’t give to change places with her cat right then. At last he said, “What happened, Mel? I don’t get it. You always seemed so happy before I left.”
Before I left. That was the crux of it. No one had ever held a candle to him in her heart. Maybe if she slept with him, she’d get him out of her system and finally be able to move on with her life. Not that she’d tell him that. She’d already told him too much already.
“Truth is, I don’t want to play it safe anymore. Does that make sense? I want to go on dates and have fun and drink at the bar. I want to be the kind of woman people sit up and take notice of when they walk into a room. Basically, I want to be the female version of you, Adam. I want to fit into your world.”
“Aw, Mel. You do fit.” He put Waldo down and reached for her hand again, but she pulled away. If he touched her now, she’d start crying and all this would be over. “Everyone in town loves you. And appearances aren’t everything.”
She snorted. “No, but first impressions are.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again, exhaling.
Annoyance sparked anew inside her. “I’ve never once seen you take someone like me out to a club. Someone invisible.”
Adam frowned. “Hey?—”
“No.” She stood and spun away fast. “All I want is a chance. One shot. We can even make a deadline, if it makes you feel better. August fourteenth, my birthday.”
He tilted his head, his expression reluctant. “That doesn’t give us much time.”
“No, it doesn’t.” She grinned as she sensed victory. “Our end goal is Indy. You take me to one of the clubs you used to hang out in before you left for the Army on a practice date.” Mel held out her hand. “Deal?”
“Wait. You want me to ‘practice’ date you?” The earth as he knew it dropped out from beneath Adam’s feet, but he managed to stay seated as he eyed her extended hand warily. “In Indy?”
“Here, too, if you think it would help,” Mel said, when he didn’t shake on her deal, instead using that hand to grab a large jar of M&M’s sitting nearby, fishing out a handful. The gesture stirred all those old memories again. They’d once sat for an hour or more sorting them into piles of colors before arguing over who was going to get the green ones.
He shook off the memories of Mel’s sweet laugh as she sat there twirling a piece of her silky hair around her finger. Like being this close to her again wasn’t distraction enough, with her cherry scent tempting him to relax, to go ahead and agree with whatever craziness she spouted.
Mel was obviously going through something, and despite the fact that Adam still couldn’t really understand the situation—clothes and makeup and men walking out on her after dinner—he definitely had no business thinking about how good she smelled.
Man, the guys he worked with at Victory Vets would be laughing themselves silly right now if they could see him. And James?
Well, James would kick his butt into next year if Adam did anything to hurt James’s little sister, including acting on the totally inappropriate feelings Mel’s request had stirred inside him.
So, no. Melody Bryant was strictly in the friend zone.
Besides, Adam didn’t do relationships and Mel had forever written all over her. Guys like him didn’t fall in love. Or if they did, it never worked out. He was too rough around the edges, had too much baggage from his past, wasn’t a good prospect for long-term. He’d seen how unions fell apart and people destroyed one another when the very things that drew them together grew malignant and killed any love between them. No sense telling Mel all that, though, because they’d never get that far anyway.
Disappointment buzzed inside him like angry bees before he shook it off. It made no sense. He shouldn’t be disappointed. He didn’t want to get involved with Mel.
Do I?
She shook the canister at him again, jarring him out of his tangled thoughts. “Want some?”
It took Adam a minute to realize she was asking about the candy and not anything more. He took a handful of M&Ms and shoved them in his mouth, mainly so he didn’t have to talk. He didn’t trust his voice at the moment.
Undaunted, Mel continued as if her deal was a done thing. “I see my makeover as a two-parter. First we tackle my appearance, then we move to my social skills.” She popped another green M&Ms in her mouth, and now Adam couldn’t stop staring at her lips. “To give me confidence. In dating and in love.”
“Whoa.” Adam nearly choked on his chocolate. “How did we go from practice dating to finding love?”
Mel ignored his question. “I want a man not because I need one, but because I want a life partner. My ultimate goal is to find my person to share my life with.” She narrowed her gaze on him, and heat prickled up his neck, making him long to run into the cool night and never look back, but his feet remained rooted to the spot. The air seemed to thicken and the area between his shoulder blades knotted and burned.
He knew that feeling. He’d felt it many times before. It was the one that said things were about to change, whether he was ready or not.
He hadn’t been ready the day his mom had said she loved him, then walked out of his life forever. He hadn’t been ready the day he’d gotten the call from the nurse on base saying his dad had died. He’d never been ready on the battlefield when they’d been ready to engage the enemy. And he sure as hell didn’t feel ready now.
Mel was still talking, and Adam did his best to concentrate on what she was saying over the jackhammering of his own pulse in his ears. Then she stopped, her gaze concerned as she watched him. “Hey, you look like you’re going to pass out on me. Don’t worry. I’m not asking you to be that guy.” She got up and filled a glass at the tap for him then shoved it into his numb fingers. “All I want if for you to teach how to date, how to attract a man and keep him past dinner.”
Throat parched, he downed his water in one long gulp then plunked the empty glass down on the granite-topped island. Move. He needed to move, to pace, to get some space to process what she’d told him.
In the military, he’d used the long, grueling morning workouts for that purpose. They kept him strong and focused and clear.
If only he could take a twenty-mile hike now to get his head back on straight. As it was, he was trapped here, in her tiny kitchen, with her candy smiles and sweet cherry scent. “I don’t know, Mel. I don’t think I’m the person you think I am. Until recently, Point Beacon didn’t think very highly of me. You said it yourself. I’m the resident bad boy. People will definitely talk if you start hanging out with me. You don’t want to deal with that. Trust me.”
Mel sat back down, her shoulders slumping. His first instinct was to make it all better. Which made no sense because most days he barely had his own life under control, what with the garage still in its fledgling year and him trying to establish some new kind of normal after the Army. His life was kind of a mess. He had no business considering trying to help anyone else improve theirs.
“It might be a nice change, actually,” Mel said, her voice a bit unsteady. “Right now, all they talk about is how I’m so predictable that they can set watches by me.”
In the end, it was the catch in her breath that did him in. Tears got him every time. They’d worked on him the night on the porch eight years ago when Mel had kissed him, the memory seared into his soul for eternity. Back then, he’d found the strength to walk away.
Tonight, he prayed he could do it again.
Because it was the right thing to do. Because it was the best thing for Mel, even if she didn’t see it.
Because it was the best thing for him, too.
Isn’t it?
He took a deep breath, fortifying his defenses. “Look, I’m flattered and all, but this makes no sense.”
Her sad little sigh dug sharp claws into his scarred heart. “You know me, Adam. You’ve seen me at my worst, and you’ve never judged me. I know your reputation, but I also know that when you think no one’s looking you’re gentle and patient and kind. Most importantly, I know you’d never hurt me. That’s why I chose you.”
Wow. He sat there, speechless. He didn’t deserve her praise, no matter how much he craved it.
Then Mel snorted. “Plus, you’re scorching hot, which doesn’t hurt either.” She grinned in the face of his shock. “Oops. Did I say that out loud? Sorry.”
Adam chuckled uncomfortably. The fact she found him attractive made his ego and certain body parts take notice, but his rational brain warned it was a terrible mistake. Turmoil churned inside him as Mel got him more water, plus a glass for herself.
There was one other huge gorilla of a problem he hadn’t brought up before, but that could have a huge impact on his life if he got involved in this ill-advised project of hers.
“What about the garage?” Adam asked at last.
“What about it?” Mel frowned.
“Victory Vets is all I have right now. It’s my main source of income and my future, if it goes well. It takes up most of my time and I’m partners in the venture with your brother. If this makeover goes south for some reason, that could have huge impacts on my life.” He arranged a tiny pile of red M&Ms on the island into a frowning face with his finger. “Not to mention that your parents will flip out if we go on a date together, even a practice one. And they’ll have questions about why we’re spending so much time together all the sudden. What will you tell them? Are you prepared to lie to them about what’s going on?”
She didn’t seem to have an answer for that ready, and he seized on what was probably his last opportunity to get the hell out of this mess. “Look, Mel. I’d like to help, but your brother is my best friend and business partner. And your family is the only one I have left. I can’t risk all that, and if you really care about me, you shouldn’t ask me to.”
Mel gave a slow nod, staring down at her own candy on the counter, arranged into a blue smiley face. She’d always looked on the bright side, always been optimistic. Loyal too. She’d never wavered from his side during high school, no matter how many stupid mistakes he’d made, no matter how bad his reputation had gotten, no matter how many times he’d tried to push her and everyone else who’d cared for him away because love only ever brought pain and heartache.
All of it made turning down her request so much harder, no matter what was at stake for him.
“We wouldn’t have to lie to people. We could just redirect their attention elsewhere,” Mel said, eventually. “And just so you know, I don’t see my parents every day anymore. I even miss Sunday dinners sometimes now with James gone.”
That surprised him. Back in the day, the Bryant family Sunday dinners had been sacred. The whole family was there, including Adam. No one missed unless you were dead. Or deployed.
Huh. Perhaps his Mel had changed after all.
My Mel?
His chest squeezed. No. She wasn’t his Mel. Never would be.
But it was a nice dream.
“And I promise that if things don’t work out, I’ll take full responsibility with James, my parents, the whole town. It will be my fault, not yours. You won’t lose anything.” When he still didn’t respond, she added, “C’mon. It’ll be fun. You can play Professor Higgins to my Eliza Doolittle.”
He gave her a funny look. He’d never heard of either of those people.
“You know. My Fair Lady ?” Mel gave him an inquiring stare. “‘The Rain in Spain’?”
When he still didn’t get it, she shook her head, resting her hand on his forearm. Awareness blazed through Adam’s blood like lit gasoline, and he covered her hand with his without thinking. He hated the idea of going behind her parents’ back. They’d been there for him when he’d had no place else to go. They’d become like his second mother and father. They’d supported him through all his major milestones—birthdays, graduations, even basic training.
Everything.
Then Adam stroked Mel’s soft skin with his thumb, and for the first time he saw her, truly saw her—with her old-lady sweater set and her below-the-calf skirt, hiding what he suspected was a great pair of legs. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help her find her freedom, rediscover her joy, restore her faith in herself, and make her see the beauty he saw in her.
But he also didn’t miss the glint of adoration in her green eyes when she looked at him. Mel had him pegged wrong.
She thought his life was so great, but that wasn’t reality. He wasn’t brave or confident or popular. And though he owed her more than he could ever repay, the dating part could never happen, fake or otherwise. Even though he’d learned way more about Mel in the last hour than he’d ever known in the years prior. Even though he respected her more than any other woman alive. Even though he liked her so much it hurt…he couldn’t.
Because, if he was honest, he wanted the same thing she did: love. Someone to share his future with, someone special in his life. Remote as that possibility seemed, given the closest thing he’d ever found in those clubs in Indy she wanted to go to were meaningless one-night stands.
Truth was, Adam had no idea how to find a life partner—not for Mel and certainly not for himself. Her project was basically a big red warning stripe, complete with neon and flashing lights telling him to run, far and fast.
But he couldn’t say all that to her, so he sat there instead, covering Mel’s hand on his arm with his, studying her from beneath his lashes while she stared at her shoes. He hated hearing her put herself down. The way she’d described the situation, she felt like the most boring person on earth. And yeah, she wasn’t the typical popular, party gal, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t perfect in her own way.
Uncomfortable stabs of protectiveness forced him to his feet, making him let her go before he couldn’t anymore. His apology rushed out, mirroring all the chaos he felt inside. “I’m sorry.”
Mel looked up at him then, frowning, the sadness in her gaze nearly driving him to his knees. “Me too. I guess I’ll stay alone and die with a dozen cats.”
“Come on, Mel,” he pleaded. “Be serious.”
“I am serious. I have no game. No magical unicorn powers to bring all the boys to my yard. I need help. I need the tools. And I need experience. And please don’t give me that crap about saving myself for someone special. I dare you to sit there and tell me that every time you’ve been with a woman, it was more than just sex.”
Well, she had him there. He’d never been embarrassed discussing sex before, but suddenly his skin felt too tight for his body, and perspiration dotted his forehead. He’d kept that information out of his mind because thinking about the fact that Mel was still innocent, still a virgin, made his palms itch.
All he could think about now was that long-ago night, the shadows soft and the crickets chirping low, when she’d whispered in his ear, “I love you, Adam Foster, and I want to give myself to you. Completely…”
He forced words past his constricted vocal cords. “I’ve made mistakes. You don’t have to.”
“Men don’t want inexperienced women.” She glared. “Who wants to go to bed with a fumbling idiot? I want to know what I’m doing. I want to drive my partner crazy with lust. I want all the closeness and touching and searing looks in public. I want it all.”
Adam’s breath seized. He wanted that, too, so much he ached. But he knew that didn’t last. Which made this whole situation even more off-limits.
His own parents hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other at first and look how that had turned out. Watching them annihilate their relationship had put him off love for good.
But being home, being alone, made him feel lonely more and more often. Or he was getting mushy in his old age. He was only twenty-seven, but some days he felt like a hundred.
Especially since many of his friends were getting married now, like Miguel at the garage. He certainly believed the whole happily-ever-after thing was possible, even if Adam though it was just a pretty fairy tale.
“Adam?” Mel’s voice brought him back to the present.
He stood on not-quite-steady legs, feeling bewildered and bothered and totally discombobulated. He wanted to help her, he did. But honestly, he couldn’t even help himself right now.
“I’m beyond flattered you asked me, really,” he said, backing toward the hall and the exit beyond. “But I’m not the man for this job, Mel.”