Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“ I ’m stuffed.” Mel pushed her plate away and sat back after lunch. “Ugh, I’ll be lucky not to end up face-down in the stacks this afternoon for a nap. And now that you know I’m a sushi addict, please remind me not to overindulge next time?”
She stopped, hesitating as she realized what she’d assumed. That there would be a next time.
Thankfully, Adam didn’t seem to notice, apparently fascinated with whatever was happening out the window behind Mel. Unsure what was wrong, but sure something had changed, she asked him, “Everything okay?”
“What?” He looked back at her, clearly distracted as he checked his watch. “Sorry. I need to get back to Victory Vets. Full schedule this afternoon.”
“Oh. Sure.” Confused and concerned that she’d done something wrong, Mel detangled her feet from his beneath the table and as she scooted out of the booth. Despite sleeping together, this was all new for her, and she was still learning how to do the whole relationship thing. Except this isn’t a relationship, she reminded herself. “We should get back. Lunchtime’s nearly over for me too.”
Adam paid the bill at the register, despite Mel’s insistence they split it, then they walked back outside to a tourist season in full swing. Even here in tiny Point Beacon, the local festivals brought in people from far and wide. Mel started back toward the library, only to have Adam take her arm and steer her around the corner of the building into a cool, deserted alley, giving them a bit of privacy.
She thought maybe he wanted to steal a quick kiss, only to be disappointed when Adam gave her a quizzical look instead. “This is all still pretend, right?”
“Uh…” Caught off guard, Mel wasn’t sure what to say. Part of her had wished this could be a real date between them, but that was against their agreement. She had to stick to their deal or risk scaring him off completely. “Uh… sure.”
Liar. Mel could tell herself she was able to keep her emotions out of this whole thing until the cows came home, but where Adam was concerned, but it wasn’t true. Had never been true, honestly. She’d set out to seduce him, and she had, but that only led her to wanting more from him.
More he’d explicitly said he wouldn’t give her in return.
Couldn’t give her.
Her stomach tightened in a way that had nothing to do with all the sushi she’d just eaten.
Adam gave her a dubious look. “Because we had a deal.”
“I know we had a deal, Adam,” she snapped, suddenly irritated. With him or herself, she wasn’t sure. “I’m not an idiot.”
That’s up for debate, seeing as how you’ve fallen for him .
No. No, no, no.
That wasn’t true. She didn’t love Adam Foster. That was nuts. She liked him, always had. He was nice and funny and sweet and sexy. And sure, she enjoyed spending time with him, sleeping with him, cuddling with him afterward. That wasn’t love. Couldn’t be love.
“We’re still open to dating other people,” he said. Not a question.
“Of course,” she said, sidling around him to walk toward the sidewalk again. “Why you find a new bed partner already?”
“No.” He scowled, following after her. For a brief moment she saw a flicker of pain in his dark eyes, there then gone, so fast she might’ve imagined it. “I just wanted to make sure we were still on the same page.”
“Yep.” Mel smoothed a hand down the front of her snazzy pink-and-white sheath dress with the shorter skirt and the boatneck top she’d bought during their shopping excursion to the mall in Indy. That day seemed like forever ago now even though it was just a couple of weeks. Before this whole makeover with Adam, she never would’ve worn such bold colors or body-conscious styles, at least not without a baggy cardigan atop it, but then she was a different person now, wasn’t she? Yes, she was. She forced a confident smile she didn’t quite feel as they walked out onto the busy sidewalk again. “That’s what we agreed to, right?”
“Right.” He exhaled slowly, sliding on his sunglasses. “I’ll meet you at Clem’s after work. But I don’t want to be out late. Okay?”
Nodding, Mel blinked hard at the ridiculous sting in her eyes. They’d planned to continue her flirting training tonight, even though flirting with other men was the last thing she wanted to do at present. Still, Adam had agreed to help her with her search for a guy, and he’d keep his word because he was steadfast. It was one of the things she loved most about him.
Not yours to love, she reminded herself . “Okay.”
Distance. That’s what she needed. To put some space between herself and this man who so easily evoked her deepest emotions without even trying. He had her so torn and twisted now she didn’t know if she was coming or going.
“Hey, y’all,” Lilly called, crossing the street to join them. Adam took another step away from Mel’s side, and she missed his warmth immediately.
Lilly gave them a curious stare. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Not at all,” Mel said, keeping her tone light. “We both happened to be eating lunch at the sushi place, so we shared a table because it was busy. Why?”
“No reason.” Lilly glanced at Adam. “I need to steal Mr. Fixit here, if you don’t mind. Car issues.”
“I’m on my way back to the garage now.” Adam stopped. “Why don’t you just meet me there and I’ll take a look.”
“Sounds good,” Lilly said, waving as Adam walked away.
Mel stared after him for a moment before returning her attention to her best friend. “Car issues?”
“I need an oil change,” Lilly said, keeping pace with Mel’s brisk steps as they neared the library. “James called me last night.”
“Oh yeah?” Mel said, as they stopped at a small courtyard outside the library and took a seat on a wrought iron bench the local Lions club had installed the year before in honor of Point Beacon’s fallen veterans and first responders. Mel was late already getting back but being figured being head librarian had to have some perks. “What did he want?”
“He said he got an email from the mayor about helping to chair the fall festival this year. Since I’m doing the official photography again, he had some questions about what was involved.”
“Cool.” Mel honestly couldn’t care less what her brother did when he got back to town, but figured heading the festival might keep him busy and out of her hair where Adam and their deal was concerned, which was good. She looked up and found her best friend watching her closely. “What?”
“Is anything going on with you and Adam Foster?” Lilly asked, and Mel’s heart tumbled to her toes. Am I that obvious?
“No. We had lunch, that’s all.” And spent the night together in Indy where he rocked my universe. No way was she sharing that with her best friend. Not now. Maybe not ever, depending on how things turned out. “Why do you care?”
Lilly shrugged, staring out across the courtyard. “Adam’s a great guy, but he’s not forever, that’s all. I’d just hate to see you get hurt because of this crazy idea you have about finding a guy by your birthday. You deserve it all, Mel.”
And there it was again. Everyone treating Mel like some delicate porcelain that would break with the slightest touch. She appreciated her friend’s care, but she was tired of living under the weight of everyone else’s expectations. “Nothing’s going on between us Lils. And even if it was, I can take care of myself.”
“Can you?” She met Mel’s eyes, then looked away again. “ I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. You’re right. Just be careful with him, okay? Once a player always a player. I’m sorry to say that about Adam, but it’s true. He’s not looking to settle down and never will be.”
Mel’s hackles rose as she crossed her arms. “Maybe I’m just looking for a little fun too. And if I wanted to sleep with a player like Adam Foster, that’s my choice. Maybe I’m a player too.”
Lilly snorted. “Right.”
Embarrassed and hurt, Mel pushed to her feet and started to walk away, only to have her best friend grab her arm.
“Wait. I’m sorry, Mel,” she said. “You wanted to make changes. I get that. I do. But thinking things with Adam will go any farther than a fling is setting yourself up for disaster. I know you, Mel. You couldn’t keep your heart out of the equation if you tried. You’re all heart. That’s why I love you. So, please, just be careful with him, okay?”
Mel pulled free with a mirthless laugh. “God, why is everyone so concerned about me? Believe me, I’m well aware of Adam’s reputation. I spent too many years tagging along after him and my brother not to know what he’s really like. But people change, Lilly.”
“Do they?” Lilly asked, standing herself. “Take care, Mel.”
As she watched her best friend walk away, Mel couldn’t help replaying Adam’s words from earlier in her head.
We’re still open to dating other people…
Was that Adam’s way of telling her he wanted out of their deal?
Maybe, she supposed, but she wasn’t ready to give up on this thing between them yet either way. She’d been crushing on him for over a decade. He ticked all the boxes on her wish list and more. But Mel wasn’t stupid. And she wasn’t naive, either, despite what Lilly and everyone else apparently thought. She’d handle this thing with Adam until their deal was done and then she’d let him go.
Because that’s what she’d agreed to do.
And if he wanted to see other people in the meantime, well, she had no right to tell him not to. She could see other people too. In fact, maybe she’d meet someone new at Clem’s tonight and all this angst would be over.
Mel turned toward the library doors, savoring a few more precious seconds of summer sun. People milled past, some she recognized as locals, some she pegged as tourists, all of them going about their business without a care.
She was determined to do the same as she walked back into the library and headed for the circulation desk.
The longer Adam sat in Clem’s that night, watching Mel play pool with some random dude, the more he regretted his decision to come tonight. They’d only been there forty-five minutes, and it already felt like forever.
He clenched his beer bottle tighter as the guy made his moves on Mel, and she gave the dude a coy smile with a sparkle in her eyes. He knew that sparkle, dammit, and something in Adam’s chest tightened uncomfortably.
She was learning how to flirt fast.
Too fast.
Of course, the fact she was wearing new jeans that cupped her butt to perfection and made Adam want to pull her onto his lap and keep her there didn’t help either.
From the minute he’d picked her up at her house after work, and he couldn’t stop himself from watching the sway of her hips as she’d walked in front of him to his bike, he’d known he was in trouble.
She’d insisted on trying things by herself tonight at the bar, with him there only if needed, so he’d plopped himself down on a stool and down his best to watch the game on the TV in the corner and not how Mel had proceeded to charm all the single men in the room.
He sighed and took the last swig from his bottle, wishing he’d ordered something stronger. What the hell is wrong with me? Mel was doing exactly what he’d wanted her to do, what she’d said she wanted to do—learning how to date. But now that their project was a success, Adam thought he’d feel a lot better about it than he did.
In fact, every time a new man joined the group of guys drawn to Mel like bugs to a zapper, he wanted to punch his fist though the nearest wall, which wasn’t like him at all.
Then Mel’s husky laugh drifted through the air toward him, its sensual tone rivaling the country tunes streaming from the old jukebox against the wall. His muscles tightened, and sweat prickled his skin, and he had images of himself stalking over to that pool table and tossing Mel over his shoulder before hauling her out of there, caveman style.
If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was jealous.
Except being jealous involved love, and Adam didn’t do that.
No. He wasn’t jealous. He just didn’t like the way Mr. Handsy over there had put his arm around Mel’s waist as he’d pulled out his cell phone to punch in her digits. And he really disliked how every single man in the room was staring at her now as she crossed the room toward Adam.
He flagged down the waiter and ordered another beer as she slid onto her stool beside him with a satisfied smile.
“That was fun,” Mel said. “That one guy even asked me for my number? That never happens. Usually they can’t get away from me fast enough.”
Adam grunted and kept his eyes on the TV screen. He couldn’t name which teams were playing if his life depended on it, but it was better than grabbing Mel and kissing her until they both forgot all about their stupid deal.
He was overreacting, probably because it had been a busy day at the garage, and he needed time to unwind. That was all. Mel could do as she pleased in here, with whomever she please. She didn’t belong to him. And they certainly weren’t a couple.
That’s why he’d asked about dating other people earlier at lunch. To make sure they were both still on the same page here. He was only here to help. Her hard work was finally paying off, and he had no business being pissy about it now.
And sure, they had sex. Good sex. Great sex. But that didn’t mean it came with any strings or deeper emotions attached. It was another lesson for her, that was all.
He swiped the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead, wondering when it had gotten so hot in there.
Onscreen, the announcers were discussing the game during halftime. This used to be the time when his dad would get up and get more booze. If he was still awake. Sometimes he’d pass out before then .
Sometimes he wouldn’t, and if his team lost, then he’d take his anger and disappointment out on Adam and his mom before she left. Afterward, it was just Adam, taking it on his own.
He shuddered at looked down at his beer instead. Watching the game hadn’t been a good idea after all. It reminded him of all the reasons why he never should have agreed to help Mel at all. He didn’t do love. He didn’t know the first thing about long-term, healthy relationships. He was just some kid from the wrong side of the tracks, not worthy to pick up her trash, let alone touch her, hold her…
He shook off the errant thoughts and took another swig of beer.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Mel asked him, leaning in so her sweet cherry scent tickled his nose. “The number I gave that guy was made up.” She giggled. “He’s just not my type. Too buttoned-up and bossy.”
For some stupid reason, that made happiness burst inside Adam like fireworks. He shrugged, shoving that ill-placed joy aside as he dug out his wallet and tossed a couple of bills on the bar to cover his tab. “He’ll live. I need some food. Let’s go grab a burger.”
Mel took her purse and followed him toward the door. As they walked down the street toward a little dive diner called Boxer’s, a place with a 1930s kitsch vibe and silver steel walls, Adam did his best to keep his hands to himself and his gaze straight ahead. Her birthday was drawing closer, and soon this would all be over. He could get through this. He would get through this. Then he’d go back to his happy single life and get on with it.
The thought of being alone again left him oddly empty. He’d never had a problem staying on his own before. In fact, he preferred it. Things were safer that way. No one to impress. No one to worry about. No one to disappoint.
In the distance, a lonely train whistle blew, and the warm night breeze carried the sound of crops rustling and the smell of fresh growing things. If he’d been a hopeful man, Adam might have thought it was a sign of new beginnings. Too bad he wasn’t.
They rounded a corner, and Mel smiled wide, seemingly oblivious to his sour mood. “I love Boxers! Best burgers in Indiana.”
They walked inside and grabbed the last booth farthest from the door, Mel greeting people on the way while Adam kept his head down. Mel continued to chatter, her tone bright as they settled in their seats. “We used to have a place like this not far from the dorms when I was in college,” she said, grabbing a menu from the holder. “Not nearly as good as this though. More like a greasy spoon. But man, the all-nighters we spent there, cramming for finals.”
Adam hazarded a glance at her over the top of his own menu then. “You pulled all-nighters to study?”
“Sure.” Mel gave a sad little chuckle. “I wanted to be the best in class, so I had to. It also helped that I had no social life. I was in bed by ten every night, never went to the bars. No frat parties, either. I wasn’t invited to those.” She studied the little daily specials card from the condiment holder. “Doesn’t matter now, I guess.”
His heart ached at her wistful tone and made him change the subject. “What are you having? ”
In the end, they both ended up with the same thing—cheeseburgers, fries, and chocolate malts.
He’d figured bringing Mel here was a safe choice after the bar, but man. If he’d thought seeing her in those jeans had him worked up, then watching her eat a hamburger was nearly pornographic. She groaned with pleasure after every bite, and the way she licked the ketchup from her fingers should carry an indecency charge in all fifty states. But the worst was how her head fell back and her eyes slid closed in pleasure when she sipped her malt, almost exactly the same way they had when she’d climaxed in Adam’s arms. And now he was shifting in his seat to avoid an embarrassing situation down below.
“Can I get you two anything else right now?” the server asked as she stopped by their table, eliciting an irritated growl from Adam.
Mel shot him a confused glance at his odd reaction then smiled at the server. “I think we’re good, thanks. And I’ll take the check, please.”
Adam took a big gulp of ice water hoping to cool his overheated libido, scowling at Mel. “I’ve got this.”
“No. You paid for lunch earlier.” Mel slapped his hand away when the server returned with their bill. “I’m paying tonight. Partners, remember?”
“C’mon, Mel. I invited you here.” He tried again to grab the paper slip and failed.
“Stop.” She pulled a card from her wallet and handed it to the server as they passed by the table again. “There. Done.”
Adam exhaled, his shoulders slumping slightly. He might not be a decent date in any other way, but the man should pay. That was how he’d been raised by his momma. And, well, he wasn’t used to other people doing things for him.
In fact, this whole thing with Mel had been as much of a learning experience for him as it was for Mel, and it left him discombobulated. He didn’t know if he was up or down these days. All he knew was that whatever emotions were roiling around inside of him now because of her, they were not—would never be—love.
Love was a four-letter-word where he was concerned. Everything he’d ever seen of it, apart from the Bryants’ home, was pain and loss and devastation. He refused to risk the life he’d worked so hard to build for himself after returning home on that.
Adam’s palms itched and his skin felt too tight for his body. He’d gone into this to help Mel find her mojo, but he’d apparently lost his own because he had no clue what he was doing now.
He wiped his damp palms on his jeans, his stomach knotting the same way it had the day he’d walked to school after his mom left them, wearing the same clothes as the day before because there weren’t any clean ones. His dad didn’t do laundry and Adam hadn’t had a clue then. He should end this now. Tell Mel he was sorry, but she’d have to find a guy on her own now. He’d given her the tools she needed, now it was up to her to use them.
Instead, when he opened his mouth, what came out was, “Miguel at the shop is getting married next weekend in Chicago. Want to go with me?”
Idiot .
As if things weren’t confusing enough for him now. Add a couple days away in a hotel to the mix, dumbass.
Mel blinked at him, seemingly as surprised by the question as he was. “Oh, uh… I’ll have to check my schedule at work.” She frowned. “Won’t the other guys from the garage be there too? I thought we were keeping this thing with us secret.”
We are. “I’ll tell everyone we’re just friends and you’re attending on James’s behalf since can’t be there.”
Or you could have just not gotten yourself in this mess to begin with.
But now that the question was out there, he couldn’t seem to make himself retract it. In fact, he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather sit through the long, boring Catholic ceremony with besides Mel.
She seemed to consider that a moment, stirring the last of her malt around in her glass before drinking it. “Well, I suppose that might work. I haven’t been to Chicago in ages. I’ll still have to check my schedule at the library and let you know for sure, but okay.”
He flushed with joy at her answer even though he knew it was a horrible idea. No way was he going to get out of this unscathed, one way or another. “I’m thinking we drive up Friday night and spend the night so we don’t have to rush around on Saturday before the wedding. Then we can come home on Sunday.” He swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his throat, not wanting to assume anything, his pulse thumping hard behind his temples. “I already have a room reserved. We can share it, or I can call and?—”
He hadn’t realized until then just how badly he wanted her to say with him .
Mel gave him a look, then chuckled. “Let’s just use your room. Unless you have a problem with that?”
He shook his head and released the breath he’d been holding. “Sounds good.”
Man, he had it bad here and that wasn’t good.
“Great.” Mel smiled at him again, brightening his whole night. “I’ll have to go shopping again, to buy something to wear, but I can to that online now that I know what works for me.”
“Awesome,” Adam said, sounding the opposite. He’d been the one to ask her to go but now he felt like an animal in a trap. So stupid. He tried to lighten his mood by adding, “They’re doing a traditional Mexican reception.”
“Oh, that sounds so cool!” Mel practically glowed with excitement now, and Adam’s poor battered heart came alive. How was she so beautiful, and he’d never noticed before? No. That wasn’t true. He’d always noticed Mel. She was so sweet and kind and generous with her time and attention and affection. How could he not notice her? But, before, he’d always held back, kept his barriers high and tight against her. Since that night in Indy though, all bets were off.
“Hey?” She reached across to tap his hand. “You okay?”
“Fine.” He shrugged, not looking at her, afraid of what she’d see on his face. “Long day.”
“Did you get Lilly’s car fixed?” she asked, thankfully changing the subject.
“I did.” He rolled his tense shoulder. “Faulty starter.”
“I hate it when that happens,” Mel said, her tone a bit naughty, and damn if Adam didn’t feel it all the way to his groin. Their gazes locked again as she scooted out of her side of the booth, and he followed, trailing her out of the diner, feeling like a man walking the green mile, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Not yet.
Outside, in the darkness, she entwined her fingers with his and Adam felt himself felt his heart crack a little more.
“I’m excited about this weekend.” She rested her head against his arm as they strolled toward his bike still parked near Clem’s. “Thanks for asking me.”
He couldn’t very well tell her it was a mistake, not now, not with her cuddled into his side, all warm and soft and giving. So, instead, he kissed the top of her head in the shadows where no one could see them as they waited at the corner to cross the street.
The more she talked about the upcoming weekend, the more he dreaded it. Not because he didn’t want to spend the time with her, but because he did. Too much. Before he knew it this would all be over and they’d go their separate ways. There’s be no more cuddling in the dark, whispered confessions, or midnight kisses. His life would return to normal and so would hers.
Normal and boring and bland. But he’d deal with it, just like he dealt with everything life had thrown at him so far. He was a survivor, and survivors went on, no matter what.
He couldn’t keep Mel in his life, not the way they were now. It was fine. He had his friends, his surrogate family at Victory Vets to keep him company. He’d be fine.
And James was coming home soon too. It would be good to see him. Catch up.
No, he decided. This weekend needed to be the end of his deal with Mel. It was time. They’d have a long, sweet goodbye, then it would be over. That was good. He could get out before he messed things up more. They’d part on good terms. His feelings toward Mel only felt so confusing because they’d spent so much time together over the past few weeks. Things with her weren’t that serious.
As they reached his bike and headed home, Adam considered the matter settled. They’d go to Miguel’s wedding, have a good time, then he’d tell her he was done.
This weekend would be the end.