Chapter Thirteen
Everything hurts and I’m dying.
Three miles, my ass .
I’m about to let Liam experience the full wrath of tired, hungry, sweaty Lucy when we suddenly break through the trees. Liam turns around and smiles as I inhale a small gasp.
We’ve arrived at a small glade on the side of what, to me, looks like an actual mountain, but is really a cliff on the edge of an impressive hill that I just climbed.
“We call this The Point,” Liam announces. “That’s the Hudson.”
“The Hudson River?”
Liam snorts. “The very one. You can take a boat all the way down to the city.”
“Holy crap. This nature shit is crazy!” I love that the same Hudson I see in the city is the Hudson I’m seeing here, two different parts of the same river.
It might be the most amazing view I’ve ever seen. Some people love beach views, which are great in their own right. But the more time I spend here, and the mere seconds I spend taking in this view, I think this might just be it. The riverbank below is practically undisturbed, with jagged rocks lining each side. When I look to the left, I see the outline of proper mountains in the distance, they look so unreal, so magical, that they almost appear to be fake. I feel like I could have drawn them on a postcard, that is how perfect their soft peaks are. The Point is definitely making it into my proposal for Ruby’s book. The series could even be named after this vantage point— Something’s Point . Love at the Point . I’ll work on it. I was never good with titles.
There is a rickety picnic table to our right, which has certainly seen better days but is charming in that Hudson Hollow way I’ve come to appreciate.
“Come on,” Liam says, pulling off his backpack and setting it down on the table. He pulls out some Tupperware and napkins.
“Liam Miller, did you make us a picnic?” I ask, sheer delight in my voice.
“I told you I was going to feed you,” he says in a resolute voice. I watch as his hands move thoughtfully, arranging everything. The whole scene is feeling very romantic. I take a deep breath.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, a lightness in his eyes.
“I’m thinking this was totally your high school hang out spot, wasn’t it?” I tease. Liam scoffs as he sets a water bowl down for Blue.
The sandwich that Liam hands me is neatly wrapped in parchment paper. I love that he takes such care with things like this. I take a bite. “Oh my God, what is in this sandwich?” I say, mouth full.
“It’s pesto. Why? Do you not like pesto?” He creases his brow, concerned.
“No, no, it’s amazing,” I exclaim. I hold my hand in front of my face in an attempt to appear polite.
“Thanks,” he says sheepishly. “I make the sauce from scratch.”
“I wouldn’t respect you if you didn’t,” I muse, pretending to be serious.
“And to answer your earlier question, no. I only came up here by myself in high school.”
“The brooding teenager, I get it.” I flash him a grin.
“I wasn’t brooding . I was just trying to get away from my sister.”
“It’s like your Spider-Man spot.”
“My what?”
“Your Spider-Man spot, where you go to get away from it all. Empire State Building. Chrysler Building. Top of a mountain,” I say, listing the places on my fingers.
“You really like your pop culture references, don’t you?” Liam says, sitting beside me on the bench.
“It’s a way of life,” I reply, finishing off my sandwich.
Everything is so easy with Liam. Talking, laughing, even hiking. Okay, maybe not hiking. I think back to a few weeks ago when I told Elle that everything in my life seemed like a struggle. Walking to work, taking the subway, trying to show Anne (without being too subtle) that I was eyeing a promotion. That seems like a distant memory now. But I quickly realize that it’s not a memory, it’s my life. What I’m doing here, with Liam, isn’t real life. I’m not really a writer. I’m not someone who spends her Saturday nights line dancing with children. What is going to happen when I have to go back to reality?
“Does that brain of yours ever stop?” Liam asks, nudging my side with his elbow. I’m suddenly aware of just how close he is to me. I think back to that moment by the car, when I thought I could muster up the courage to kiss him. I want to scold myself for that now. It was a lapse in judgment, something that shouldn’t even be crossing my mind. I’m here to do a job. In two weeks, I’ll be back in New York, presenting Anne with all the information I’ve gathered.
“Yes,” I say, “I’m just taking in the view.”
I have to be logical. I have to let the mathematical, calculating side of my brain take over here. Because despite what Liam says, working at Heartwarming was my dream, is my dream. And I can’t give up the chance of making editor, working with my own authors, everything I’ve worked for. To what? To go backwards into small-town living?
And then I look into Liam’s eyes.
They’re beaming at me, the color of tropical waters with the smoldering intensity of a typhoon; they’re hard to look away from. I see his Adam's apple bob in his throat, and I forget how much time has passed between us. When his eyes flutter toward my lips, I lean back.
“Liam,” I whisper.
His focused gaze breaks and he meets my eyes. Concern flashes across his face, followed by confusion, and then finally, rejection.
“It’s okay,” he says, “I get it.”
“No, Liam, don’t misunderstand,” I start, I physically remove myself from the table so I don’t get lured in by his orbit again. “I’m not saying no to you , not in a million years. I’m saying no to this… situation .” I gesture at the space between us.
Liam raises a brow at me and presses his lips into a firm line. He’s confused, but he also looks slightly amused at my attempt to explain myself out of this moment.
“What I mean is, I like you a lot—”
“Right. But…” he says, resting his chin on his hand.
“No, no but, there should be no ‘but’ after that,” I stammer. How did this situation turn around so quickly? Is the altitude up here diluting my cognitive abilities or something?
“But there is, isn’t there?” Liam says, matter-of-factly.
“Only because I’m leaving in a few weeks. And I—”
I think about what to say next. What if he rebuts my argument by saying he can handle me leaving in a few weeks? I realize that not only would that thwart my one good excuse, but also I don’t know how I’d feel about. What if he only sees this as a temporary fling?
“I don’t want to start something I can’t finish,” I say, letting out a long-held breath. “My life, my job, it’s in the city. This, me, here, is temporary.”
And that’s the truth of it. Liam has to know this too. Sure, I’m a new face in town, and maybe I was interesting to talk to for a while, but I’m sure that at his core, he knows this could never work out.
He studies me for a moment and I try to meet his gaze, but if I look into his eyes for too long, I’m afraid I might just admit everything. I shrug and let out a long sigh.
“Lucy,” Liam says, standing up. “It’s fine.” He closes the distance between us in two steps and puts a finger in the dimple on my chin, turning my head to look at him. “Don’t overthink this. It’s okay.”
I really want to believe him, but I see the hurt in his eyes. The hurt that I put there. I remind myself that it would be so much worse if I went through with it.
I repeat that thought about a thousand more times to try to erase the look on his face from my brain. We sit in silence for a few minutes, letting the moment pass.
“So,” he says. “Ready for dessert?” Liam, being Liam, brushes it off. “Chocolate chip cookies,” he says with a smile.
“Marry me,” I joke awkwardly. Liam shakes his head as he chuckles.
We devour our cookies and take a few selfies with the mountains in the background. I also get a few good portraits of Blue, which he was less than thrilled to participate in. As we head back down the trail, I tell Liam more about Elle, the number of times I’ve come home to her burning sage in the living room, and the time she scolded a man at Bryant Park who was, in her opinion, “not being nice enough to his dog.”
“She sounds like a very fun friend to have.”
“She’s something, that’s for sure,” I say smiling. “She’s very sure of herself.”
“And you’re not?” Liam questions, raising a brow.
“I think we’ve established that,” I answer, knowingly. Liam lets out a loud cackle and shakes his head.
“You have such an infectious laugh,” I say, smiling at him.
I used to daydream about dating a guy like Liam. I spend my days reading books with heroes like him—ones with smiles that brighten a room and stop your heart at the same time, ones that make their heroines feel… like I do right now.
“Well, you’re the first one who has heard it in a while,” Liam says, kicking a rock in his path.
“Don’t say that,” I say, closing the gap between us.
“It’s true,” he says softly. “I know you’re not the type of girl who does confessionals, but you’ve changed things for me Lucy. I know I said it was fine up at The Point but—” he stops, both his speech and his stride, and turns to face me.
“What?”
Liam lets out a breath. “I’m really struggling with the fact that you’re leaving in two weeks.”
I swallow hard. I have to tell him the truth. I shouldn’t have gotten so close to him, it was selfish. As soon as I realized how much he was starting to mean to me, I should have told him everything. How would he react if I told him now? I’ve never seen Liam angry. I’ve seen him be silly with the twins, with me, I’ve seen him be a caretaker to his sister, a boss at the restaurant, and worker and a force for good in this town, but I’ve never seen what happens when someone crosses him. And I’m not sure I want to.
“Liam, I have to—” I start, just as my phone dings from my bag. “We must be back in the land of service,” I say sarcastically. My stomach relaxes and falls from its position in my chest.
“There goes my murder plot,” Liam says, snapping his fingers.
I take out my phone and see five missed calls from my mom. There’s also a text message:
Call me when you can.