Chapter Sixteen
I’ve never understood why people drink so much. In movies, books, television shows—even in my own life—I’ve watched alcohol turn people silly, angry, and sometimes too laid-back. And then it makes them throw up. Yet here I am, unable to resist the lure of a cold sangria amid this oppressive heat. Plus, I actually need to relax right now. The conversation with Jill has left my stomach in knots, and now my appetite has vanished. I manage to pick at some cheese and dip while I nurse my drink.
When Cammy wakes up, the crowd surrounds her like a magnet, and I sneak off to take a moment to breathe. I’m keenly aware of where Liam is—behind the buffet tables making sure everyone has what they need. I even sit down on the swing set and pull out my phone, so it doesn’t look too obvious that I'm in the corner having a panic attack.
This thing with Liam, this secret, it’s starting to become too much for me. I need to come clean. I couldn’t bear to see the look on his face if he found out I’ve lied to him this whole time, and worse, that I didn’t have the courage to tell him the truth, when he’s been nothing but honest, and kind, and vulnerable with me. The worst part is that I’m not any different from those big-city leeches in the Hallmark films—I’m exactly what Liam feared I would be, and for that I don’t know if I can forgive myself.
“Hey, Bowen,” Liam says, stopping a few feet short of me. I take a deep breath.
“Liam—”
“You and me, bouncy house race,” he challenges, cutting me off. He nods toward the massive inflatable, swaying from the small bodies jumping inside. His serious face gives way to my favorite full-face smile, and I can’t help but match his smile.
Oh, Lucy, you’re in serious trouble with this one.
I look over at the inflatable death trap. It is about the size of a small house. There are two holes at the beginning of the course that I’ve seen kids jump through. Then, they climb up a “rock wall” and go through some other obstacles before climbing up a rope to the top of a slide. I’ve yet to see an adult attempt it, but that certainly isn’t going to stop me.
“What’ll it be, Lucy?” He extends his hand, and for a moment I just look at him, really look at him.
“Alright,” I say. “You’re on.” I stand up and take his hand. He leads us over to the ginormous contraption, where a group of kids is lined up around it. Mia spots us and runs over, launching herself at Liam.
“Uncle Liam, I beat Robbie!” she squeals.
“I don’t doubt it for a minute you little monkey,” Liam says, tickling the girl’s belly. “Think Lucy and I could have a turn to race?” Liam asks her, who responds emphatically.
We kick off our shoes and take our places at the imaginary starting line. Mia stands at one end of the obstacle course to tell us when to start, and Robbie stands at the other to call the winner. When Mia says “Go!” I catapult myself through the hole and smash my face into the rock wall. I see Liam on the opposing side already halfway to the top. I scramble to the top, hurling myself over the wall. Up, down, and around I go through protruding walls that lead to the rope ascent. Liam gets stuck in the wall obstacles because his limbs are so long. I reach the rope before him and slip three times before I make it to the top. I somersault over to the slide and awkwardly roll down it. When he makes it to the bottom, we’re both laughing uncontrollably. The force of his weight bouncing to the bottom of the slide sends me flying off the course. Luckily, I land on my feet, tears forming in my eyes from laughing so hard. Liam jumps off the course and wraps his arms around me, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. He places his hands on my hips to steady us, and when our gazes meet the laughing ceases.
“Sorry, I feel like I’m going to fall over,” I say, leaning on him to steady myself. I just need the world to stop spinning so much, then I’ll let go of him.
I let out a slow exhale and close my eyes.
“Hey, Lucy, are you okay?” Liam asks, taking a firm hold of my shoulders in either hand.
“I’m just really hot,” I mumble, not opening my eyes. With my eyes closed, I can pretend everything isn’t spinning. It’s a much more comfortable place to be. My grip on Liam’s shirt tightens as I wipe my forehead with my other hand.
“Let me get you some water.” As soon as the words leave Liam’s mouth, I feel a lurch in my stomach.
I push Liam away and throw my hand to my mouth. The lurch comes again. I manage to make a run for the house. I barely make it to the toilet by the time the sangria, fruit, and the little bit of charcuterie I’ve ingested makes its way out of my stomach. When it’s over, I collapse next to the toilet feeling exhausted. I’m absolutely mortified by what just happened, and to make matters worse, I hear a knock at the door.
“Luce? It’s me,” Liam says in a concerned voice. I groan in response. “Everything okay?” I murmur something unintelligible. “Do you need me to come in?” he asks.
“Liam Miller, if you come in here, I will cut off your hands and staple them to your shoulders!” I growl, flushing the toilet and trying to make my way to the sink, worried that he won’t listen.
“Wow, that’s very graphic ,” I hear him say on the other side of the door.
When I see myself in the mirror, I groan again. My makeup is running down my face and my hair looks like the worst case of bedhead I’ve ever had. I splash my face with cold water and throw my hair up into a messy bun. I just have to make it home , I say over and over in my head. I take a deep breath and lean against the sink. Just make it back to the house.
When I open the door, Liam is standing outside, propped against the wall with his arms crossed. I see May peeking her head around the corner from the kitchen. Liam gives me a pitiful smile. I grimace, the embarrassment washing over me again.
“Well, either I’m the world’s biggest lightweight,” I say, not meeting his gaze. “Or I am super dehydrated.”
“Maybe a bit of both,” Liam replies, gently. I narrow my eyes at him. He cups his hand around my cheek and I lay the entire weight of my head into it. “Let’s get you home.”
*
Liam drives us the short ride back, leaving me to concentrate on steadying my breath. In. Out. In. Out. I keep my eyes firmly shut, especially as Liam navigates the bends of Puke Parkway. His hand rests on my leg, moving in a gentle, soothing rhythm. I channel all my attention to the warmth of his touch, willing it to drown out the relentless churn of my stomach.
Liam helps me into the house, and I go straight to the bedroom. I collapse on the bed and kick my shoes off. I groan at the feeling of the soft mattress beneath me. It must be getting close to eight o’clock, because the sun is just starting to set. I really wish it would get on with it already so I can wallow in the darkness by myself.
The world is still spinning a little bit, but as long as I’m curled up in a ball and don’t move my head, everything seems to steady. I just want to sleep. I snuggle my face into the pillow and notice that Liam has left the room. I wonder if he’s gone forever. I wonder if he went to get me some food. He makes good food.
“You make good food,” I mumble into the pillow. My stomach gurgles in response.
“Well, thank you,” I hear Liam say. I pry one eye open just in time to see him enter the room with a glass. “Water is the best I could do, since you didn’t have any ginger ale or anything.”
I slowly sit up and take the glass from him. I lay my head back down and watch him as he sits on the edge of the bed. He folds my legs over his lap and runs his hands over my calves.
I turn my head and blink a few times to try to see him more clearly through my dazed vision. It doesn’t work too well.
“You always say just the right thing,” I tell him in a rough voice. Liam furrows his brows at me. “You even furrow your brows like a romance love interest. You’re perfect for it,” I mumble, trying to poke the spot between his eyebrows with my finger, but I miss it and hit his forehead instead. He raises his brows even more and crosses his eyes in an attempt to see my finger. “I could see myself falling for you, if this was real,” I add, floating my eyes closed.
My head feels heavy, too heavy to keep it raised. I want to keep my eyes open so that I can see Liam. I love seeing him. He’s nice to look at. “You’re nice to look at,” I whisper, willing my eyes to open, but they don’t budge. It feels like they’re glued closed, and no amount of strength will separate them. I try to focus on the feeling of Liam’s hands on my legs, the kneading of his fingers into my muscles, the rubbing of his skin against mine. I think I hear him say something, but I’m too far gone.
The last thing I remember is a feeling of warmth against my cheek and the lingering moisture that stays on my skin before I fade entirely into sleep.