Chapter Nineteen
“Love is showing up. That’s all it is. Take out the grand notions of happily ever after and flowers and candy and knights in shining armor and just accept that being there for someone is all it takes. Get out of your own way and just show up. Because otherwise, what are we all doing here?”
This author guts me with this line every time I read it. Because if that’s all love is, then why is it so complicated? When all people really have to do is tell each other how they feel? Why is that so difficult for some of us?
(not a rhetorical question… asking for a friend)
Operation Small Town, Day 28
I post a photo of one of my favorite Heartwarming novels from the Catskill bookshop. It’s an enemies-to-lovers story with a clever twist on Pride and Prejudice, where the hero and heroine are both too stubborn to admit their true feelings.
When I get back from dropping Elle off at the train station, I decide to take some time to process. Or more honestly, I straight-up procrastinate. When I get back to the house, I delve right into work, adding to the outlines in my notebook and drafting an email to Anne with an overly-labeled plot diagram of the book.
I’m writing a character profile on the local bookstore owner based on the one we met yesterday, when my phone vibrates on the counter next to me.
Liam: Hey, random question. Are you at your house right now?
Lucy: Yeah, why?
Liam: I left Blue at home thinking it would be a slow day, but it still hasn’t died down. I’m sorry to ask this, but would you be able to take him out for a quick walk?
Lucy: Of course, don’t apologize. I might just keep him for the whole afternoon.
Liam: Thank you so much. I’ll try to get away as soon as I can.
I’m glad for the distraction, especially one as cute and furry as Blue. I slip on a pair of sneakers, head across the street, and find Liam’s key underneath a flowerpot in his front landscaping. Terrible security system. Good thing he has a scary-looking dog.
Blue mauls me before I’m fully in the door. He jumps up, putting his paws on my shoulders, his head level with mine, and licks my face.
“Well, hello to you too,” I say in a baby voice. I bet dogs hate it when humans talk to them like they’re babies. They probably find it so embarrassing.
“Where’s your leash? Let’s put your leash on,” I goad him, and he shows me the hook next to the door where his leash hangs. He sits down on the mat next to it, waiting.
“Geez, I didn’t peg Liam for the crazy dog trainer type,” I say, scratching Blue’s face beneath his ears. As I’m mumbling some nonsensical nothings to him, I notice a small camera on the table behind Blue. There is a small red light below the lens. I bring my face up to it and stick my tongue out. I laugh and look at Blue, as if he is going to join in on the fun with me.
“Weirdo,” I mutter at the camera, trying to imagine Liam setting up a baby monitor for a dog who could eat a robber for breakfast. I shake my head at Blue, who is waiting anxiously at the door.
Blue and I head down the gravel street toward the neighborhood’s main thoroughfare. Blue picks up his step, trotting alongside me, sniffing at random patches of grass, and peeing on something every five feet. We walk farther than Liam probably anticipated us to, but I get in such a rhythm with the dog’s footsteps, and find it so soothing, I don’t want to turn back. But eventually, Blue starts turning around and eyeing me, his large tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, basically begging me to take him home.
I squint up at the sky and notice that clouds have started to form in the distance. It’s the oddest skyline—behind me, the clouds are low, puffy, and white, but the way the sun is reflecting off them, makes an orange hue in the distance. Ahead of me, the clouds seem higher, and much darker. They’re staggered throughout the sky, but they are all thin streaks, like blue and gray watermarks across a canvas.
When I take my phone out of my pocket to check the weather forecast, I feel the first drop.
Blue looks back at me, with a look on his face saying, “Did you feel that too?”
“Uh-oh, Blue,” I mutter, gauging our distance from the house. We’re still a few streets away, and I am not about to sprint down this road with an eighty pound German Shepherd in tow. “We’re about to get real wet, buddy.”
I pick up my pace as the drops increase in number and speed, but Blue dawdles on, refusing to go any faster than a leisurely walk. I can’t believe how hard the rain is coming down when we finally turn onto our street. I break out into a jog just as I hear wheels on the gravel behind me. I turn around and see Liam’s truck barreling down the road. I stop and stick my thumb out, laughing. He rolls his window down.
“What the hell are you doing?” he calls over the rain.
“What do you mean? Walking your dog!” I whine, gesturing to Blue, who has his nose pointed up at the sky. I half expect him to stick his tongue out to try to catch the raindrops.
“In the rain?” Liam shakes his head, but a smile tugs at his mouth.
“Obviously it wasn’t raining when I started, Liam,” I say, continuing down the street. Liam rolls his eyes and parks up in front of the house. Blue jolts the leash in that direction, desperate to see him. Liam emerges from his car with an umbrella and tries to dodge the drenched dog who has come to greet him, to no avail.
“Seriously? An umbrella?” I tease, reaching for it before he can open it.
“Well, yeah. I don’t want my hair to end up looking like yours,” Liam says, squinting as he is pelted with droplets. I grab the umbrella and toss it back in his car, letting the rain drench him. I cackle as I lead Blue to the front door, Liam trailing close behind, his deep laugh a comfort to my ears.
Our laughs echo against the gravel in sync with the pounding raindrops as we race to the cover of the awning on the front stoop of his house. Once we reach the top step, we lean against the wall to catch our breath.
“I’m sorry, this doesn’t happen in real life. Rain doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. There are literally like four clouds in the sky,” I say, pushing my sopping wet hair out of my face. Liam shakes his hair so it sprays in every direction. It’s so wet that his blonde locks stretch almost all the way down to the base of his neck, where I find my eyes focusing as well. A single drop of water makes its way over the large muscle of his throat and trickles below his shirt.
And then we’re not laughing anymore.
Our eyes are locked on one another, and even though the humidity is stifling, goosebumps spread across my flesh as I feel Liam’s warmth next to me. Our arms are so close together, I feel a force of static between them that sends lightning into my gut. Something has changed between us. And he can feel it too.
Liam shifts so that the shoulder closest to me is leaning against the wall, and the rest of his body is facing me. We’re even closer now, our chests rising and falling in the same rhythm, water dripping down our faces, our fingers just inches from each other at the side of our bodies.
My gaze remains on Liam’s neck, because I know if I let myself look into those eyes, I’ll lose any last resolve I have left. I watch Liam raise his hand beside me and tuck a wet string of my hair behind my ear. I can feel his eyes scanning every inch of me, but I don’t move. I can’t move.
“Lucy.” My head slowly rises at the sound of his voice. What a shift in the dynamic between us from just a few moments ago. It’s a moment like this when the old Lucy would make an awkward joke to get out of this situation, but the new Lucy never wants to move from this spot.
Liam lifts his body off the wall and places one hand next to my head, caging me in. I finally meet his gaze and immediately feel like I’m going to melt from the weight of it. His eyelids lower as his gaze falls to my lips. My breath hitches as he traces a line up my arm with his fingers.
“I know there are more than a few reasons why I’m not supposed to do this right now,” he whispers in a low sensual voice. His eyes never move from my lips. His light touch makes its way to my face and traces the outline of my lips. “But I can’t seem to remember any of them.”
His feather-like touch transforms into a whole hand cupping the side of my face, his fingers threading through my hair. His mouth crushes against mine in the most gentle and passionate way possible. His wet hair rubs against my forehead and I can taste water on his lips. I breathe in every inch of him I possibly can. I place my hands gently on his abdomen and feel the hard, round peaks beneath, which spikes my pulse. Liam moves his lips with mine in a beautiful rhythm, one that lets me forget about what I should be doing, if he’s enjoying himself, if I’m enjoying myself, all the reasons why I shouldn’t be letting this happen… and just be.
Liam pulls away too quickly, and I’m left breathless with my eyes closed, trying to cement every second of the last few minutes into my memory—the feel of lips against mine, the gentle trace of his fingers on my skin, the warmth of his body up against me. I want to remember everything.
Liam lets go of me for a moment to unlock his front door, pulling my hand to get me inside. Blue runs in, and I can hear his footsteps head for his water bowl. Liam closes the door behind me and quickly presses me up against it. I gasp when he presses his body against mine, wet fabric slapping together between us. He brings his face closer to mine but stops at the point when our noses touch.
“I have to tell you something,” he whispers, his voice breathy.
I groan internally. “Wait, I have to tell you something first,” I say, barely able to catch my breath. The way my body is yearning for him is almost uncontrollable. I quite literally might burst if he doesn’t start touching me again. How can I think like this when I am keeping a secret from him? How can he completely consume my thoughts, the presence of him expelling any reason from my brain?
“No, me first,” he says, lowering one hand to press it against my hip. “The other day,” he starts, sneaking his fingers under my top. He glides his wet fingers up my abdomen, and I shiver at his touch. “When you said I was skeptical of you when you first got here—”
“Liam, I didn’t mean—”
“I wasn’t skeptical. I just couldn’t believe you were here,” he finishes, and I tilt my head back, confused by his statement. He cups his hand around my ribs, using the other to fold a piece of hair behind my ear. “I couldn’t believe I was seeing you again.”
What ? “Sorry?” I say a little too loudly.
“I’d seen you before. In Manhattan. I was with Jill and the kids to see the Christmas tree. You fell—”
The rest of his words sound far away. I squint at him as his hands reach for my hips.
“Manhattan—?”
“Lucy,” Liam says, snapping my attention back into focus. “I saw you. I saw you fall. And I couldn’t get to you. And then you were gone.” He pauses, a look of disbelief spreading across his face. “I don’t know why that moment stuck with me—seeing you across the way. Then when you showed up here, it was surreal. At first I thought I’d lost my mind.”
My eyes are surely wide enough that he understands the level of disbelief I am feeling right now. “I was in disbelief that it was you, the same girl from New York. And that I was getting a second chance to actually meet you. Because I’d thought of you every day since.”
He was there. On the other side of Sixth Avenue. He was the one who saw me. The one who looked like he was coming to help me. My knight in shining armor.
“Please say something. And please don’t tell me you think I’m some sort of creep,” he says, chuckling bashfully.
I can’t resist this anymore. I can’t pretend like the last few weeks haven’t changed something for me. Because this man… this man has changed everything. I was starting to believe that the stories I read about—the ones that talked about meeting your “person,” the person who makes all the ones who came before seem like distant memories—I thought they were bullshit. But I’m standing here looking at a man who has been longing for me— me —for a year, and I can’t believe it. I finally found the moment I’ve been reading about all my life. I finally found my Big Romance Moment.
And in this moment, nothing else matters. Not Anne, or Ruby, or the book, or my job. I don’t care about any of it. I’ll throw the book away and delete all my notes. I’ll delete any evidence of anything that could hurt this golden soul in front of me. Because I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for my whole life.
I lean forward in what can only be described as an animalistic fashion, crushing my mouth against his. He smiles against my lips, and I can’t help but smile as well. Together, we slide to the floor, and Liam presses me backwards. He cradles my head as he lays me down, breaking our kiss to trace my jaw with his lips, licking the last of the raindrops off my neck. I let out a mix between a giggle and a moan, completely intoxicated by his touch.
He kisses my chest while he unbuttons my shorts, my hips already rocking with anticipation. Did I shave my legs last night? What’s the situation down there? Do I care? His fingers skate beneath my panties and his palm cups my center. Scratch that, I don’t care. Nope. Not one bit.
“Oh my God,” I whine, as he starts to rotate his thumb around the most sensitive part of me. I can’t believe this is happening. My body can’t believe this is happening. My hips move in tandem with his hand, and I throw my head back. Liam reaches behind my neck to support me and presses his lips to mine again, tracing the inside of my mouth with his tongue. As the intensity of his kiss deepens, so does the speed of his hand, and I moan even more. There’s a tingle in my toes that slowly creeps up the backs of my legs, and a squeeze in my abdomen. I tense beneath him, every muscle in my core spasming under his grip. I feel Liam press himself against my hip to show me what I’m doing to him, and in the midst of my pleasure, I think I mumble something about wanting him inside me, but I’m not sure that any of it comes out coherently.
When I open my eyes, Liam is grinning. I smile back, because how can I not? Liam presses his forehead against mine.
“I’ve been dying to do that,” he whispers, his lips moving against mine. I let out a weak laugh. Just as I’m about to respond, I see a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to peek out of the small window that lines Liam’s front door. Liam must see the confusion on my face, because he follows my gaze, to where a white sedan pulls up behind Anne’s car. Liam looks at me, and I communicate my uneasiness to him with my eyes. Who could that be?
We both sit up. Liam looks out the window and I see his shoulders relax. I pop my head up in time to see an elderly man opening the passenger door of his car. A woman of equal age steps out.
“It’s Al and Mella,” Liam says, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I match his gaze with an even more confused face. What are they doing here? I’m supposed to be here until Saturday.
Liam stands up, pulling me up with him, and opens the front door. Blue scurries out beside Liam. I readjust myself, run my hands through my hair, and follow him.
“Liam!” Mella calls as she shuffles toward the house. Liam meets them at the entrance to the porch of my—their—house and I stand behind him warily, unsure what my next move should be.
When did this day become so derailed? I try to avoid Liam, then I kiss him, and then some other stuff happens, which was totally not part of the plan, and now these two show up? My brain is on overload. And boy are my shoes wet.
“Al, Mella, what are you doing here?” Liam says, embracing Mella as she opens the front door of the house.
“What do you mean?” she asks, finally spotting me behind Liam.
“Hi, I’m Lucy,” I say with a pathetic wave, coming up behind her. It’s odd to be entering my rental without the feeling of it being mine, since its actual owners are opening the door and letting themselves in.
“Ah, Lucy!” Mella exclaims, holding her arms out for an embrace. “It’s so nice you met our lovely neighbor Liam. But I have to ask, what are you still doing here, sweetie?” she adds as I give her an awkward hug.
“What do you mean?”
“Why don’t we take this inside, Luce? Because it’s, you know, pouring,” Liam says, ushering Al under the small awning.
“I’m so sorry,” I say once we’re inside. “Did we get our dates wrong?”
“Should I grab some towels?” Liam offers. Mella nods.
“There are some in the cabinet just through the kitchen,” I say as Mella shrugs and shows me a kind smile.
“We thought you were leaving this weekend. Anne said before the fourth,” Mella explains.
Ugh, Anne . “Well, as usual Anne is a terrible communicator. She has me scheduled here until the fifth,” I say, just as Liam re-enters the room with a pile of towels in his arm.
“Who is Anne?” he asks, handing me a hand towel. I reach my hand out instinctively, but as I take it from his grip, my eyes focus on him in shock.
He doesn’t know who Anne is. He doesn’t know my connection to Al and Mella. He thinks I’m just renting their house.
I can’t open my mouth fast enough. Mella beats me to it. And then it’s all over.
“My daughter-in-law. You must have met her, Liam. Penny’s wife? She’s also Lucy’s boss,” she says with a smile.
“Why would your boss have you scheduled here?” Liam asks, the furrow in his brow getting deeper by the second. He rises from his crouched position on the floor, where Blue is now rolling on the towel Liam set down for him.
It’s as if I can physically feel the blood pumping in my veins. The clench in my stomach feels like a combination of when I got caught after pushing Sydney Dana off the swings in second grade and the lurch I felt a few days ago before I puked at Cammy’s party. And yet, I’m paralyzed. My face is sunken in, my eyes wide, and I can’t undo it. I can’t speak up for myself, I can’t explain myself out of the situation. All I can do is stand by and watch the world I’ve carefully crafted over the last four weeks crumble in front of me, like a slow-motion scene in a movie.
“For Lucy’s work project?” Mella asks, looking between me and Liam. Apparently, she doesn’t sense the tension or awkwardness in the room because she keeps going. “I don’t quite get it, if I’m honest.” She winks at me. “But Anne said something about a new book? Based on Hudson Hollow?”
“I—” I stutter.
“Lucy?” Liam starts.
We’re both cut off by Blue’s explosion of energy that sends him racing into the kitchen. Liam breaks my gaze and goes after him, calling his name. “Blue, no!” he commands from the other room. I turn my attention to Al and Mella, who are looking at me like I’m a statue. Which, to their credit, I must look like right now. My hair is still dripping wet, lines of water streak down my legs, and my feet are squishing in my sneakers.
“Are you alright, dear?” Mella asks, gently placing her hand on my arm.
“Um, Lucy, what is this?” Liam calls from the kitchen. I snap my head in his direction, as he turns the corner with my notebook in his hand.
My research. My notes . My computer. I left it all on the bar top when I went across the street to get Blue. And now it is in Liam’s hand.