Chapter Eight #2
“You know,” Finn said quietly, “you aren’t half bad at this dancing thing.”
He wouldn’t have admitted it outright, but he was enjoying this—her this close, the emerald green catching the light, the faint smell of summer lilacs and sunscreen. It was just easy. And, the best part, she wasn’t trying to get anything from him.
“Mmm… you probably assumed that I could only rave after the other night, huh?” she asked, giggling.
“Pretty much. You are a hippie girl if I’ve ever seen one.”
She socked him in the arm.
“Jeez! You always do that… and the Hardings are coming this way.”
He pulled her in closer without thinking.
Yep. She smelled great.
“Safe,” she whispered.
They fell silent.
Neither of them would’ve said it, but they were enjoying this—the Andersons, Hardings, and Whozzits were just excuses now.
Flora tried to ignore that familiar, unwelcome pit in her stomach, which came when she was feeling something she didn’t want to feel.
She leaned on his shoulder, head facing the people milling around near the bar. Finn had his arms around her. It didn’t feel just friendly anymore.
“Can we go somewhere else?” she whispered, turning her head slightly.
“Go where?”
“We have eight records we haven’t heard, your office is right there, and if your mother comes looking, you just hop out the window and you’ve never left. Plus, no one will know you’re in there if you stay out of sight.”
Finn mulled it over. He probably should have stayed longer, but he wanted to keep an eye on her in case she ran off to find Roman since it was still early in the night and there was plenty of time for her to get into trouble…
“Lead the way.”
The song ended, and they walked off the floor. The sun was fading over the Pacific, the twinkle lights shimmering in the summer twilight, scattered across the estate like stars.
Earlier, Finn had a death grip on her wrist.
Now their fingers were intertwined, not parting even though they didn’t have to pretend anything anymore.
They made it to the window of his office, avoiding conversation, and Finn pushed it open wider to climb through.
Just as she was about to follow, Flora caught sight of Rosa passing by with another tray of desserts and waved her down.
“Rosa!”
“What are you doing, Flora?” she asked, eyes wide.
Flora darted over, leaving Finn alone by the window.
“I’m with Finn,” she said, pointing.
Rosa glanced over Flora’s shoulder and kept the surprise off her face. Finn Woodhouse—standing there, waiting patiently for Flora. He had never been the type to wait around for much of anybody. His sudden interest in Flora was the talk of the estate.
Rosa winked. “He’s a good man, Flora. So handsome.”
“It’s not like that, Rosa!” Flora said, her face flushing. “He’s Finn! He’s Finn Wood—never mind. Can I steal this tray from you?”
“Of course,” Rosa said, squeezing her cheek. “I’ll go get another one. Anything for my darling Flora.”
Flora gave her a hug, and returned with a tray of brownies, lemon bars, cupcakes, and tiramisu.
“You didn’t make any of these, right?”
“Finn!”
He laughed and slid through the window. Flora carefully passed him the tray, then jumped through after. Finn was already rummaging through his refrigerator and pulled out a case of Capri Suns out.
“No way,” Flora said.
“Shh. Contraband.” He put a finger to his lips. “Mum never let me have these, so I’ve been hiding them in my office since I was twenty-two.”
“Pacific Cooler, too. The best kind.” Flora glanced around. “Where are the records?”
“On the chair.”
Flora grabbed Led Zeppelin. “Yes?”
“Definitely.”
Finn handed her a Capri Sun, and she sat next to him on the floor, eyeing the tray.
“Which one do I eat?” she asked.
“All of them.”
“That’s too much sugar.”
“No such thing.”
“Gosh, you’ve always been so bad with sugar.”
“Hey, it’s my one vice!”
Flora reached for a brownie.
“So,” Finn said, shoving a lemon bar in his mouth, “how did you get to know so much about music? Wow, that’s a good lemon bar. I love lemon bars.”
“This brownie, so good—thank God I didn’t make them.” She laughed. “Anyway, my dad loves music. I don’t remember a time when we weren’t listening to it. Plus, he never let me on the internet, so all I had were his old Coltrane and Sting CDs. Eventually, I didn’t want to hear anything else.”
“I’m sure you just loved prom then.”
“I never went.” Flora smiled and pointed to her hair. “I wasn’t popular, you know. Allison and I were never asked. Well, Allison was asked by this freshman once. But that was probably more embarrassing than not being asked.”
“She was asked to prom by a freshman? What was he thinking?”
Flora shook her head. “Not a clue. I came out of biology, and the next thing I knew everyone was laughing and pointing. Oof. That was a bad day. You’re lucky you went to Branson. Mount Tam kids were brutal.”
“So were Branson kids! It was the most spoiled, most privileged group of students imaginable. If you weren’t driving an Aston at sixteen, you were a loser.”
“You’re one to talk!” she shot back. “Your dad bought you a Porsche when you turned sixteen. Allison and I drove her old Civic to school. The bumper would fall off on our way there and we’d have to put it back on!”
Finn laughed now, setting his Capri Sun down. “Stop. I remember seeing the two of you on the side of the road one afternoon.”
“And you didn’t stop to help?!”
“You in your long dress and Allison in her rainboots,” he continued, holding his stomach.
Flora couldn’t help but laugh too, tears in her eyes.
There was a lot of laughing about old memories and ridiculous stories. Roman taking the paddleboat out on Bennett Lake and flipping it in a panic because he thought he saw an alligator. So many shared things from childhood.
Eventually, the record changed to The Police’s Synchronicity.
“I relate to the lyrics…” Finn said suddenly.
King of Pain was playing.
“Your dad,” Flora said, not needing an explanation. “You never really had time to grieve, did you?”
“Nope,” Finn said quietly, shaking his head. “Not even a little. One day we were at the funeral, and the next I was running everything because that’s what my dad wanted. Although, had he known he was going to die so young, I think he would have changed things. I never… processed much.”
“You know, I always wondered why my mom left my dad and I,” Flora said quietly.
“It hurt to know that she didn’t see any value in being my mom.
For years, I avoided it. I was afraid of the feelings.
I didn’t want to make it worse for my dad.
But feelings like to be noticed eventually.
You may need to go back to it, even if it’s ugly. ”
“I haven’t touched any of it in almost seven years. I’m—” he stopped for a moment— “I’m very afraid of what I might find.”
“Your dad wouldn’t have wanted that, Finn,” Flora said, convinced. “I know I don’t want that for you. I don’t think it’s fair that you had to take the entire company on and never had time to process losing him. You and your dad were close, weren’t you?”
Finn nodded, unable to really answer.
“I’m sorry, Finn,” Flora said quietly, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry all of that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it.”
No one had ever said that before. Not even his mother.
No one except Flora back at the funeral. In her big, strange hat.
And now she was here, saying it again years later.
He was shocked how it cut through the shield he always had up, how little it made him feel. He was never much for sharing, but for some reason he’d told her.
“I wish he was still here,” Finn admitted. “He’d know how to run things.”
“You know how to run things,” Flora replied. “Why else is the company doing so well? You’re not just Fortune 500, you’re Fortune 1. You obviously know what you’re doing. Have a little faith, Finn.”
“If you knew me, you wouldn’t have faith.”
Flora was silent for a moment. “But I do know you. Maybe not as well as others, but I know you. You think because you’re quiet and sensitive that you can’t do it, but I think that’s your superpower. You don’t move through the world like others. I’ve got faith in you.”
Finn was quiet now.
Why did she make him feel like he was seven again? Before life got hard. Before things spiraled out of control. Before days were so complicated.
They kept talking about life, trading secrets, and trying to solve all of life’s problems. The kind of conversation common when two people are together after midnight. Most grade school slumber parties would confirm this.
By the time they looked at the clock, the party was long over.
1:03 a.m.
“I should go,” Flora said, yawning. She paused at the window, pushing it open a little wider. “I had fun with you, Finn. I always thought you were different from how you really are. I’m sorry for that. You’re very interesting. In a good way, I mean.”
It was a little too dark for Finn to see her expression, but he knew she wasn’t smiling. She was just being honest.
“You’re very interesting too, Flora. In a bad way, I mean.”
Flora laughed one last time and disappeared into the night.
Finn shut the window, locked it, and fell asleep soon after. For once, completely at peace.