Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
WYATT
I followed the hostess to the small outdoor table where Margo sat. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and her laptop hid half her face. I realized it had been almost a month since I had seen her or Jackson.
“Hey,” I said, sitting down. “Can I get a glass of red wine?” I told the waiter who rushed over.
“Hey. Me too,” Margo said, closing her laptop and putting it away. “So.”
“So. What did you want to talk about?” We normally held business meetings at the Sands, and Margo and I didn’t see each other outside of work. And not to have drinks. So something must’ve happened.
“Maverick saw the Halloween photo. He knew it was you, and the press knew it was Julian. I tried to cover for you, but he ran the financials. He knows Julian is one of your clients. He also suspects that’s who you’ve been seeing on his nights.”
There was only one reason Maverick was looking at my financials.
“If he thinks I’m going to let him blackmail Julian, he underestimates me.
I’ll take him and the rest of his little group down.
” Prostitution was illegal within the Las Vegas and Paradise city limits.
Maverick regularly entertained clients with the girls from the Golden Serpent within those city limits.
Not to mention, I had a long list of powerful clients he had recommended.
Margo waited for the waiter to set the wine down before she started. “I don’t think it’s that.”
“Then what is it?” I’d go down to protect Julian.
“You know Maverick. He doesn’t like to lose. You’ve canceled on him a couple times, and it looks as if he’s lost his favorite plaything to a better-looking, younger man. He’s pissed.”
I swirled the wine in my glass before taking a sip. “So this is about his ego.”
Margo rolled her eyes. “Everything Maverick does is about his ego. The Starlight Sands is some phallic representation of his ego. None of this should surprise you.” She twisted the stem of her wineglass.
“I book your clients. You’ve either taken a long break or you are seeing Julian. And not as a client.”
Margo and I weren’t friends the way Anders and Julian were. I couldn’t tell her how scared I was of losing him. That I really wanted to stop, but I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to be Wyatt.
That I had never been this scared in my life. Not even in LA.
“You are, aren’t you?” Margo sat back in her chair, watching me.
“What if I am? Are you going to run back and tell Maverick?”
“When are you going to get it through your fucking head, I don’t care?”
“Then why are you always in my shit?”
“Because it’s my job. You really believe that I have nothing better to do with my life than worry about who you’re fucking?”
I sat back in my chair. I felt so alone right now. This should’ve been a happy moment in my life. But it felt heavy. “What if I am?”
“Then we figure this out.” Margo thought for a moment. “There are a few things we need to wind down in the business. Starting with when is your last day?”
“I’m not quitting. I need the money.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Cut the shit. It’s me you’re talking to. You really can’t believe that you can keep working and seeing him? Wyatt, that’s not practical.”
“What choice do I have? I have no marketable skills. I haven’t had a job since I was sixteen.
I have no references. You think Maverick is going to give me a letter of recommendation?
And what would he say? ‘To whom it may concern, Ms. Halliday’s cock-sucking skills are the best I’ve ever seen.
Please hire her as your receptionist.’” I never really thought about what came after.
I knew there’d be an after—I just didn’t know when or what it would look like.
“We could find a better way of wording that.” Margo rolled her eyes. “And what does Julian think about all of this?”
I shrugged, playing with my wine glass. “He’s fine with it. His life isn’t any more stable than mine. His contract is going to be up at the end of this season, and then he may be out of a job. One of us needs to work.”
Margo barked out a laugh. “He makes ten mill a year, and you have close to two in savings, plus your investments, and you think you two need to work. And if you did, it should be you, the prostitute, who does. Not the professional athlete.”
“Yes. I will not live like my parents. Like my sister. Struggling for every fucking dime.” Contrary to what everyone thought, I was young. Too young to retire.
“Okay. So let me get this straight.” Margo rubbed her brow, shaking her head. “You think that you and Julian are going to blow through his thirty-million-dollar contract in the next couple of years? What does he have, a ten-thousand-dollar-a-day cocaine habit?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.” My family had struggled with money when I was growing up.
There were many times we went without. This wasn’t a hard life.
I made in four hours what some made in a week.
If I booked a weekend trip, I made more in two days than some people made all year.
I loved my life, or at least the part where money wasn’t a concern.
“Right, because of that silver spoon I was born with up my ass. This is why you have a financial planner. Why you chose the cage Maverick offered you. But you can’t be in a relationship with someone and continue to fuck other men.”
“This is between Julian and me. It’s just a job.” I wondered if I was telling her or myself. I drained my wine, regretting this meeting.
“And you think you can put your feelings aside for him while you do your ‘job’? You’re not a waitress. You fuck people.”
“Thank you for clearing that up. That would explain the random men that show up in the hotel room. Where is that fucking waiter?” I snapped my fingers to get his attention and pointed to my empty glass.
“Julian is fine with this, so why can’t you be?
” That came out harsher than I meant it.
I didn’t want Julian to make my choices for me.
My whole life had been men telling me what to do.
What to wear. How to fuck them. If I wanted to keep working, then I would.
“You can’t honestly believe he wants you to fuck other men. Come on, Wyatt.”
“It’s not about him. I have nothing without this job.
” The reality of that sat heavy on my chest. It was why I never retired.
I didn’t know how to be Wyatt without Cassidy.
I didn’t know how to support Wyatt. “If in two months he realizes how much he’s screwed up and leaves, I need to be able to support myself. ”
“Why would he leave you?” Margo rubbed her temple.
“He could have anyone. I heard some pop star tried to slide into his DMs. Some celebrity named him as her secret crush. There is an entire fan club dedicated to him. He doesn’t need to pay for sex.
And yet he did. For almost two months. Do you really believe he’s going to wake up one day and say he’s had enough?
He’s had two fucking months to come up with five thousand dollars’ worth of reasons not to keep seeing you.
” She stopped when the waiter refilled our glasses.
“I made that mistake once before,” I reminded her.
“Maverick told me he couldn’t do it without me, and yet he does.
” When I turned twenty-two, I wanted to go back to South Dakota, try to find myself or what was left of me.
Maverick got on his knees and begged me not to go.
He told me he couldn’t do it without me.
Three days later, I was fucking his best friend.
“And the lawyer from San Diego? He promised to take care of me, professed his love every time I saw him, and then gave my number to his brother. Was I valuable to them?”
“Julian Silver is not Maverick Sands. Maverick consumes everything and everyone. He lies, cheats, and steals. He’d sell his own mother to beat his father.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I still need a job. A way to support myself.”
“So what are you going to do, keep fucking men until what? You’re fifty?” she pushed.
“I don’t know. And what are you, my fucking therapist?” I snapped back at her.
“No, a friend who thinks you need a reality check. You think you’re special.
That because you’ve lived a shitty life, that you deserve some sort of guarantee.
That’s not how life or love works, Wyatt.
There is no guarantee.” Her voice was heavy with memories.
“One day you’re casually fucking some guy.
And the next, he’s asking you to take the next step.
But you’re too fucking scared of the what-ifs, so you say no.
Then he gets on a fucking bus, and that’s the last time you ever see him. ”
I knew very little about Margo’s life. “Then you understand. If Julian leaves me—"
“He was killed in a bus accident. He didn’t break up with me. He died.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Margo.” Margo’s words knocked the breath out of me. “Why would you tell me that?”
“Because no one told me that one day he’d be gone.
That I would never see him again. I’d never get the chance to say yes.
To right the wrongs.” Margo leaned over the table, her mouth set in a sharp line.
“If you never saw Julian Silver again, would you be glad you fucked Maverick? If tonight something happened to him on that ice, would you be glad you still had your job?”
“That’s not fair.” I swallowed down the bile that sat at the base of my throat.
“I can’t live my life in fear that he’s going to…
” I couldn’t say the words. Saying it would give it power, and I didn’t want it to have that power.
“Why would you ask me that?” I blinked back the tears and fought the urge to call him to hear his voice, to rush to the game to see him.
“Because I wish someone would’ve told me.
I was too worried about the wrong what-ifs.
What if he cheats? What if we grow apart?
What if in five years I hate him? I should have been worried about the other what-ifs.
What if I never see him again? What if the last words I said to him weren’t I love you?
Have you thought about those what-ifs? What if you’re happy? ”
I tore my gaze away from her. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want to think about any of the what-ifs. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Do you like it that much?”
“What, fucking people? No.” It had never been about my likes. It had started as an easy way to make money, and then it turned into the only way I knew how. And it was still that way. “It’s a job. That’s it.”
“To you. But not to the rest of us. Not to Julian. It’s not fair to him,” Margo said. “What if it was reversed, and he was fucking—”
“He’s not.” I cut her off, not wanting to hear about him and another woman. Thinking about him stretched out next to her, his mouth pressed against her neck as he slept. Her getting to see him in the early morning light when he was just Julian.
“You’re going to have to choose him or this life. And the longer you wait, the more regret you will have.” Margo’s voice was low and calm.
“I’m used to that.” I waved off her comment.
“This is a different type of regret. This one will eat you up. It will be the only constant in your life.”