27. Crew
27
Crew
“You look handsome, stop fidgeting.” I reach over and look into the backseat at Ash. Flowers crossed over his lap for his mom.
It had taken us nearly two hours to get ready to go. By the time I was finished stacking bales for Dot, the snow had started to softly fall in the sky signaling the arrival of winter. It had been so warm that morning I thought snow would never come but, as I rounded up Ash and got him into the bunkhouse for a much needed shower, the chill had set and there it was. Fluffy, wet and white.
Ash let me swoop his hair back off his forehead. My hat sits low on his head and Logan will kill me for letting him wear the dirty thing but he looks cute. I cursed Logan when I noticed there was a second shirt in the bag she had left for us, but I slipped it on and buttoned it up without a word before tugging on a pair of boots and shooing us out the door with my cowboy hat sunk low on my face.
The drive to the trailer feels short and Ash falls asleep before we even leave the driveway. His hat pushed crooked off his head as the truck rattles down the hill. I have never been the kind of man that gets nervous for anything but something about today, the drive and who I’m going to get. Nervous would be putting it lightly. My hands are sweaty on the steering wheel and I feel like I'm sixteen again. Only this time I’m not wishing that Kate Dorsen will kiss me. This time I’m praying that Logan Shepard will spend the rest of her days loving me.
Ash stirs the minute the truck pulls into the driveway. I help him out and scoop him up into my arms, setting him down on the hood and telling him to wait. Kicking loose a few rocks from the gravel, I palm them and gently throw two at the door.
“Do you think mama will like these?” Ash asks picking at the flowers.
“Only if they have petals by the time she gets out here,” I laugh and toss another rock.
The snow falls softly, big flakes stick to Ash’s hat and he looks up to the open gray sky in amazement but I’m only looking at one thing.
Logan stands in the door, her curvy figure leaning against the door frame, draped in a long, flowy dress and cowboy boots I didn’t know she owned. Her hair is down and frames her face with gentle waves around her jaw and neck.
She looks like an angel.
“Well don’t you two look handsome,” she purrs. “You look good in purple, Huckleberry.”
I don’t dare look away from her but a smile creeps on my lips and I nod, “who knew lilac would be so slimming. It’s nice, I don’t remember the last time someone bought something for me.”
“Now we match.” She smiles and, despite the cold that nips at my cheeks, they warm instantly as she spins in a soft circle. The purple flowers on her dress shift in shades as she dances and turns back to face Ash and I.
“You look incredible.” I take her hand as she walks toward us. “I never stood a chance, Logan,” I huff, looking her over. “I wasn’t equipped for the kinda storm you bring but god damn do I love the rain.”
Ash waves the flowers and my hat around in the air, protesting the lack of attention in his direction. Logan laughs and dips out of my grasp toward her son, her smile growing ten fold.
“What’s this?” She has the hat in her hand and turns to me with a photo between her fingers. It’s of her and Ash that day we went fishing, shoved into the inside seam of my work hat so I always had it with me.
Heat licks at my neck, “you.”
She rubs her thumb over it and her brows kiss in confusion.
“Did you put that there?” She asks looking up at me.
“How else was it gonna get into the hat, pretty girl?” I reach out and push a strand of her honey brown hair behind her ear.
“It’s sappy.” The words are tight and wet because she’s trying not to cry.
“It’s romantic,” I correct her and place a kiss on her forehead. “Now grab some coats, I don’t think this snow is stopping anytime soon.”
I buckle Ash back in and wait for her by the door of the truck as she locks the trailer door. “I think it’s time to patch those bullet holes.” She looks back at it and sighs.
“I think you’re right, baby.” I steal one more languid kiss from her lips before she climbs into the truck.
I’m tempted to take the long way around to the ranch as Logan’s hand rests over my thigh and she leans over the seat. Her perfume washes over me and her fingers trace the brim of my hat.
“I’ve never seen you in a cowboy hat.” Blue eyes flicker back and from the corner of my eye I can see her smile. “It’s different.”
“Different how?” The line to get onto the ranch is backed up along the highway and the truck rolls to a stop. I look over at her, noses brushing together.
“In ways I can’t say in front of a six year old.” She brushes her thumb over my chin and pulls me close for a soft kiss.
I suck in air through my teeth and try to adjust in my seat as my dick twitches in my jeans and her fingers inch closer to the zipper on my pants.
“Too bad.” She winks and slips back into her seat as I start to move the truck again.
She laughs when a frustrated growl rumbles from me. Bode is standing at the entrance of the ranch just under the massive iron Whiskey River arch in a fur collared jean jacket. His dark hair is long and tucked under his fancy black cowboy hat. His eyes light up when he sees the truck and he waves us to a stop.
“It’s ten dollars for the truck,” he says as I roll down the window.
“Walker,” I rumble.
“Just kidding.” He smiles and for a second that young kid appears on his face. “Looking beautiful, Logan.”
Another throaty huff leaves me.
“Crew Cassidy,” Logan scolds me for being jealous. “Thank you, Bode.”
“You should go save Ford, Levi has him running the dunk tank.”
Logan snickers, “yeah let’s go save Ford. ”
“Behave, woman.” I shake my head and pull the truck through the line and down to the bunk house where it usually sits.
The ranch looks completely different under the haze of fairy lights. Echoes of music and laughter fill the area between the main house and the main barn. People lounge and talk against makeshift hay bale benches, taking part in dancing and all the activities the guys set up this year.
Horse rides, fair games, food and drink.
The Whiskey River Winter Festival was a town favorite.
Logan wraps Ash in a light jacket and sets her flowers on the dash of the truck before pulling on a sweater of her own. “Don’t go far,” she warns him and kisses his forehead.
She flexes her hands at her side, resisting following him as he runs toward the popcorn booth in front of the barn.
“He’s safe here.” I wrap my arms around her shoulders and she leans back into my touch until I can rest my chin on her head. I breathe in and feel her tense when Ash goes out of view, he returns in seconds but she doesn’t relax. “Logan,” I lean into her and hug her tighter, “Nothing’s ever going to happen to you guys again, not here, not if I have any fight left in me.”
She squeezes on my arm as she works through the small panic attack.
“Breathe for me,” I whisper and after another long pause she finally does. “That’s my girl.”
“I don’t know…” she pauses, “this morning it was fine, everything was good. But my chest just got all tight and I couldn’t focus. It all crept back in.”
There are a lot of faces here she doesn’t know, it’s crowded and loud.
Even trained horses are scared of noise.
“Give your heart a chance to catch up, Shepard,” I say. “The problem is gone but you’ve got years of trauma to unpack. Not every moment is gonna be good.”
She turns to look at me, “I owe you more than that.”
“For once in your life just listen.”
I grab her face and lower my shoulders so we’re eye to eye.
“You don’t owe me anything.”
She searches my eyes as her hands come up to wrap around my wrists.
“Not a damn thing, pretty girl.” I smile and brush away the tear that falls on her cheek with the pad of my thumb. “Now how about we get some cider and I’ll pay for a round of throws at the dunk tank?”
She agrees without hesitation and hooks her arm around mine so I can lead her toward the bar set up under the massive tent. Dot is manning the bar, a long piece of wood that her husband carved a decade ago is propped up on a row of barrels.
“You clean up well,” Dot says to Logan.
“I never thanked you,” she says to her, taking the warm cider from Dot’s hands. “For calming me down the other night, for giving me the space to…”
“Be human?” Dot smiles at her and all the lines around the old woman’s eyes crinkle softly in response. “You’re welcome darling,” she says. “In return, promise me one thing?”
“What’s that?” Logan asks.
“Don’t you ever let him wander.” She points to me. “He’s too good of a kid.”
“I’m thirty-five Dottie, I’m not a kid.” I take my eyes off Ash by the cotton candy to roll them at Dot.
“So long as you're calling me Dottie, I get to call you kid. You make sure you get him dancing.” She taps Logan on the shoulder.
“Ha!” I laugh loudly from my stomach and look at Logan. “Yeah, Shepard, make sure you get me dancing. This one here.” I point to Logan, “doesn’t dance. ”
Logan groans, “I danced that one time,” she argues. “Can we go get Ford wet now?”
“He’s miserable with all these people here.” Dot shakes her head. “Charlie’s ma, talked him up the wall and I think he turned green when she asked about the divorce.”
“Charlie say anything about the position?”
Logan watches as we talk, out of the loop but interested.
“She hasn’t called me back, there are…” Dot sighs, “other things at play.”
“Alright.” I give her hand a pat and take my cider from her. “Have some fun tonight.” I tip my hat in her direction.
Ford shakes his head the moment we move in his direction.
“No!” He barks, pointing at me. “Turn around and find something else to do.”
I look around and smile at Ford, his dark brows pinched together and lips formed into a scowl. He’s drenched, and probably freezing with the light, chilly wind that whips around inside the big tent. Levi sits on the long table beside the tank with a crate full of baseballs in his hands. His dark green plaid shirt is open at the top and shows off his chest. He had just gotten back from another rodeo in Florida and had the tan and the awards to show for it.
“My girl wants to throw some balls,” I say and dig a five dollar bill out from my wallet.
“Don’t you take his money,” Ford says to Levi.
Levi’s tongue darts out over his bottom lip as he slips off the table and lands in the dirt with a heavy thunk. “What the lady wants,” Levi flashes that toothy grin at Logan, “the lady gets Lawson.” He shrugs and hands Logan three balls.
Levi shifts around her and leans in close, “the paddle is loose, aim for the bottom right side.”
I stifle the laugh that bubbles up in my chest as Logan hands the two extra balls to me and adjusts in her sweater. Both Levi and I stand back watching as she palms the ball and Ford somehow gets even grumpier than he already is.
“Don’t miss,” he mocks and that’s his first mistake.
Logan throws the ball, and throws it hard.
Ford doesn’t flinch because he isn’t expecting her to hit anything but he’s under the water before he can even open his mouth and the sound of the bell rings out over the tent.
“Nice throw,” Levi laughs and goes to take the balls from me but Logan stops him.
“Set it back up.” She smiles.
Ford emerges from the water and spits what he’s collected in his mouth out over the plexiglass window. His dark hair sticks to his forehead and his eyes narrow on Logan.
“He paid for three balls, Ford.” Levi shrugs.
“Levi, when I get out of this tank I’m taking you out behind the barn where no one can hear you scream,” Ford snarls and lifts himself back onto the floating chair as soon as Levi resets it.
“Sounds like an average Friday night at the Backbone, Ford. You’ll have to do better than that!” Levi laughs and tips his hat at Logan, “Fire away, beautiful.”
Logan throws again, and the sound of splashing echoes off the tank followed by a string of curse words from a drowned Ford.
“One more.” she smiles at him and it's laced with all the venom she’s been storing for him over the years. The gentlest form of payback she can deliver.
Ash is standing with us now, he’s got one of the baby ducks wrapped into his new shirt, a few of his friends from school crowd around to see it. I inhale lightly, taking in the moment and couldn’t be more grateful for the little family that god has gifted me. It took some nasty fighting to get us here, peaceful, and enjoying the time we have, instead of counting hours for the courts but we’re here.
Logan winds up barely giving Ford a second to breathe but instead of throwing the ball she stops and hands it to Ash. I take the duckling from him and hold it carefully as Logan helps him line up a little closer to the paddle.
Ash throws the ball but it soars wide of the paddle and Levi catches it against his chest but quickly smacks the paddle with his hand and laughs out loud as Ford goes under. Levi high fives Ash and picks him up on his shoulders, running around in circles stopping only to grab the duckling in a driveby full of giggles.
“Come on.” I spin Logan around in my arms and lead her to the dancefloor as the music slows and the sky becomes dark.
“Should we leave him with Levi?” She looks back at them with worry.
“Ash will take good care of Walker, don’t worry,” I joke, laughing harder when Logan scowls at me.