Chapter 7
“AND YOU know this through experience?” Sterling asked, cocking his eyebrows. Connor pulled his arms away and sat back in his chair. Sterling missed the closeness immediately and wished he’d just kept his smart mouth shut.
“I’ve dated. I’m not a total loser,” Connor protested, and Sterling knew that defensive tone. “Maybe not as much as some people.”
“I bared my soul, and since you have all the answers, what makes you an expert?” he teased. “Come on. What happened? It seems we’ve both been through the man mill.”
“I dated in college. I’m not a monk or something.” Connor sighed, and Sterling recognized the hurt look all too well. “But nothing worked out. Two of the guys I dated just wanted free tutoring. Perry and I went out a few times, and he started coming to my place. We’d study together, and I’d end up helping him with his work more than I got any of my own done. But I liked him, and he was hot. Like… muscles, and the guy could make his pecs dance the rumba. I thought he liked me, but at the end of the semester, he decided he wanted someone more exciting and he was out the door… and off to his next endeavor with a better grade, and all I got out of it were long nights making up my own work.”
Sterling tilted his head. “We all got taken advantage of one or twice in college. I think it’s par for the course.” He felt for Connor, he really did. To have accomplished everything he had at his age was impressive. He had already gotten his PhD and an assistant professorship. That was quite something and required a lot of hard work.
“More like twice, and I’m supposed to be smart. I figured after that, I’d work and get through school so I could make a living before I settled down.” He sighed, and Sterling waited for the real tragedy in this story. “I met David. He was going to be a pharmacist. That requires a lot of dedication. He was funny, and he worked hard too. He also liked to spend time outdoors, so we went hiking on Saturday afternoons and played racquetball. Well, he taught me how to play. When he served, the ball bounced off the wall and hit me right between the eyes. I couldn’t see straight for a few seconds, and David was right there. He made sure I was okay and helped me get the blue marks off my face. He was kind and gentle, and then he kissed me for the first time, right there on the court. Things progressed quickly after that, and we were together for four months.” Connor held his breath for a second. “Then he found someone else. I suppose I should have expected it. But it still hurt.” He wiped his eyes and drank from his bottle. “He left me a note when he cleared out saying that I was too serious and that he wanted someone more exciting now that he was graduating.”
“Were those his exact words?” Sterling asked.
“No. Actually he said that I was a good guy but too boring, and that it was time he left school to make his way and he didn’t see us as moving forward. He actually used the word boring. Apparently we were together for four of the most boring months of his life.” Connor finished his beer. “You know, maybe a few more of these isn’t such a bad idea.” He burped and then giggled. “Okay, maybe not.” He sighed and sat back. “I’m sorry about all this. This was supposed to be a celebration, and because of me, we ended up taking a ride on the old relationship train, stopping at Maudlin and Depression on our way to Drunktown.”
“You’re funny,” Sterling said.
Someone called from outside the gate, and Sterling groaned as he checked the time. He took a few bites of the guacamole to cover his beer breath and went to greet the clients he’d forgotten about. “I’ll be about an hour,” he told Connor. “When I’m done, we can order some food.” He hated to leave Connor in a vulnerable state like that, and he should have checked his appointment book before they came out. He only hoped Connor would still be there when he returned.
“CONNOR?” STERLING called once the graduate and his mother had left. They had made their appointment to see their proofs and were all set. Sterling wandered back and found Connor where he’d left him, in the same chair, leaning back, eyes closed. He wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not, but he quietly gathered their bottles and placed a pizza order before grabbing two more beers and returning to the patio.
“Sorry.” Connor sat up when Sterling placed the bottles on the table.
“I ordered a pizza.” He checked his messages and grinned. “It seems we may have a policeman and his partner who are interested, as well as an athlete.” He thumbed through the messages.
“Not Terry Baumgartner?” Connor asked. “Is he interested? Aunt Lucille is going to flip. He’s our local Olympian and won swimming gold in London, I think.” Connor whistled as Sterling read the rest of the message, nodding.
“I had no idea.” Of course he had been on the other side of the world at that point, working in Asia during those games on a campaign for a designer he couldn’t remember. “Then that’s awesome. I need to contact both of them and firm things up. Lee sent email addresses and phone numbers. But it’s possible that we have four months filled now.”
“Good. Then we have more to celebrate, and I promise not to bring down the mood.”
“The pizza should get here in about half an hour.” Sterling opened the bottles and handed one to Connor. “To a successful calendar.” They clinked bottles and toasted as Sterling’s phone rang. Connor’s did as well, and he wandered off so they each had some privacy.
“Sterling Photography,” he answered, not recognizing the number.
“Hello,” a tentative male voice began. “This is Terry Baumgartner, and I was speaking with Lee Stockton about the garden club calendar. He gave me your number.”
“How can I help you?” Sterling was inordinately pleased to be talking to him. He had photographed famous people before, but never an Olympian, and he was excited about the chance.
“Well, I know I told Lee that I’d do the calendar, but I may have been a little hasty.” He paused again. “See… I’d like to do it, but he said it was couples, and I’d only do it with my husband, Red. But he isn’t so sure, and I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.”
Sterling’s stomach was already falling. He should have known this was too good to be true and that things were coming together too easily all of a sudden. “What can I do to help? The calendar is to aid the garden club and the community.”
“We’re both on board with that. The issue is that… well…. Red was in an accident when he was younger, and it left scars on his face. He’s a little sensitive about them. I think he’s perfect, but if it bothers him, then….”
“If the two of you want to appear together, then we’ll photograph you in the studio where I can control the light and shadow to minimize any scarring in the pictures.”
“He has a beard, and it covers many of them, but there are some that cross his cheeks,” Terry explained gently. “I just don’t want him to see the pictures and be disappointed.”
“That’s not a problem at all. You can tell Red that with a little lighting control and some shading, his scars will fade to the background.” That was something Sterling was quite skilled with. “Using light to create the image I want is something I’m amazing at. Please tell him not to worry. After the photo session, the three of us can choose the photo for the calendar. That way he’ll be able to have a say in what we use.”
Terry sighed. “That’s awesome. I think Red is amazing and totally beautiful.” The love in his voice was unmistakable. “He doesn’t let me take many pictures of him, so I’d love to have him do this with me.” He sounded happy now.
“Tell Red he has nothing to worry about,” Sterling said, and Terry happily agreed and ended the call.
Sterling set down his phone, breathing a sigh of relief. He had just handled that issue in a huge way. Now he simply had to keep his head above water and keep the people they had on board happy, while figuring out how they were going to get others.
His phone dinged with a message. It was from Terry to say that Red had agreed and everything was good. Sterling answered, and since Connor was still on the phone, Sterling made a call to some of the people Lee had recommended and secured another couple. That was five months covered, with a sixth for the one that would include Connor. They were halfway there, and hopefully the momentum would continue.
Connor returned with a grin. “Aunt Lucille is really pleased. She gave me another number, and I got us one more month. This one is a university librarian.” He grinned. “So that makes five for sure.”
“Six, and the one I confirmed works construction.” He smiled. “You know, if we got a leather daddy and a sailor, we could have the Village People.”
Connor chuckled, all smiles. “This is really coming together.”
“Yup, and with you for month seven, we’re over halfway there.” Without thinking, Sterling pulled Connor into a hug and held him there. He felt so good against him, and when Connor lifted his head, their gazes met, and Sterling closed the distance between them. The heat that washed off him was delicious, his scent intoxicating, drawing him nearer. A soft moan from deep in Connor’s throat told him this was okay, maybe more than that. Connor was firm in his arms, all muscle, hard and angular, with banked power that made Sterling want to explore the depths of it. He parted his legs, and Sterling slid a knee between them, bringing them more firmly together, their bodies melding, the warmth radiating off both of them creating a bubble of perfection that Sterling wished would go on forever.
Sterling drew his face closer to Connor’s, sliding his fingers through his bunny-soft hair. Damn, that was intoxicating and so different from the rest of him. He paused for only a second, giving Connor a chance to pull back before moving the final distance, their lips touching.
That first taste of spicy sweetness from their snack earlier gave him only a bare hint of the man underneath. As he deepened the kiss, the flavor of Connor, just as rich and full as he could have imagined, came forward, threatening to roll right over Sterling, nearly knocking him off his feet.
Connor slipped his arms around Sterling’s neck, holding him as he responded, giving as good as he got. This was a new experience for Sterling, and it turned him on no end. God, he had no idea what he’d been missing all those years. He pulled back, gazing deep into Connor’s cobalt blue eyes, flecked with purple that grew deeper the longer he held that intense gaze. Connor blinked but didn’t make any move to pull back.
“Connor… damn….” He wondered if Connor felt it too. Sterling didn’t want to let him go. Having Connor in his arms felt so right. He leaned forward and captured Connor’s lips once more. Connor shook in his arms, vibrating as he held him. This time it was Connor who pulled back, stepping away. Sterling refused to break their gaze, and only a sharp rap on the gate pulled him out of the passion haze that had engulfed him.
Sterling swore under his breath as he pulled away, turned toward the gate, and strode over to get the pizza. He paid for it and gave the delivery guy a generous tip before carrying the large pizza back to the table. Sterling wasn’t really hungry for anything other than another taste of Connor’s lips and the way he felt in his arms.
Connor sat in the chair he had earlier, knee bouncing slightly. As Sterling set down the pizza, Connor got up with a wild look in his eyes. Sterling wondered if he was going to bolt out of the yard like a scared rabbit. “Come and have something to eat.” He opened the box and pulled out a slice, which he passed to Connor.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” Connor said as he absently took the slice, holding without eating it. “This was supposed to be a project to help my great-aunt. Nothing more than that. Instead it’s….” His eyes widened. “Hell, I don’t know what this is or what you want.”
“You think I’m any surer of anything than you are?” Sterling got a slice for himself, sat down, and took a bite. He ate half the slice before drinking some of his beer. “And as for what I want… I don’t know either. My track record in that department is an ex who turned out to be a lying snake who sold me up the river to save his own skin.”
“I’d never do something like that,” Connor said firmly. “I don’t believe in playing games or using people. I have integrity and….” He paused and finally took a small bite, then swallowed before continuing. “How do I know that you… that I… that my judgment in this particular area isn’t just complete shit? I’m an academic. I love things I can research and prove, where I can wrestle with ideas and come up with new conclusions.”
Sterling smiled and stood, placing the remainder of his slice of pizza on the lid of the box and wiping his fingers on a napkin. Then he stalked over to Connor. “This isn’t something you get to control. It isn’t researchable, and if you try, you’ll get different results every single time.” He put his hands on the arms of Connor’s chair. “And as for wrestling, well, I’m sure we can accommodate that for you… though the kind that this involves is very different from your usual kind.” He smirked and waited for Connor’s reaction. “Now as for your judgment being shit, well, that remains to be seen. Mine isn’t the greatest in the area of the heart either. However, I will say that what’s going on isn’t in your imagination. I felt it too. It left me weak in the knees and standing tall in other places.”
The tiny scoff from Connor’s throat was more than enough proof that Connor understood what he was saying. “Did anyone ever tell you that you have a one-track mind?”
“A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste,” Sterling countered, and Connor chuckled. “Seriously, if something is good, then maybe it’s best not to question it too closely. I know how you feel because I’m in the exact same place.”
Connor nodded. “Maybe you’re right. Lord knows there are things that when studied too closely lose their luster and all we see is the tarnish.” Connor then laughed. “God. Now I sound like one of those old fools I work with sometimes who think because they’ve taught the same theories and facts for fifty years that they’re still valid, even when they were disproven decades earlier.” He left Sterling wondering what he was talking about, but it didn’t really matter. “I guess I didn’t expect that a kiss could be like that. I certainly don’t have anything in my past to compare it with.”
“I don’t either.” Sterling pushed back and grabbed his slice of pizza, taking another bite before sitting back in his chair. He wasn’t sure what to talk about, so he sat quietly and found it was perfectly comfortable. There didn’t seem to be a need to fill the quiet with endless talking. Alexander always needed sound, and any quiet he felt he had to fill somehow. Gossip, suppositions, and theories with no basis in fact had all flowed out of him like a fountain of useless prattle. So many times Sterling had stopped himself from telling him to just be quiet.
“Once we have everyone, how long do you think it will take to photograph?” Connor asked.
“Since we’re doing couples, I would think a couple hours for each pair spread over a week to ten days. That way there will be time to adjust to schedules and bring people back if necessary. It’s also going to be a little different from just portraiture. This project is sort of a hybrid between what I do now and what I used to do, because we want active images and ones that tell a cohesive story. That’s going to be the hard part.” He grabbed the pizza box and offered Connor another slice before taking one himself. “I mean, we can have guys just stand there together, giving the viewer flowers. Or we can make the images say something, make them evocative. I think some of the images are going to be giving the viewer flowers, while others will be the guys giving each other flowers. It depends.” He hadn’t quite worked that out yet. “Some of this will depend on the guys and what works between them.” A lot of planning and work would have to go into this before anyone set foot in the studio or at the locations around town.
“I can see that.” He bit into the pizza. “How did you know I liked meat lovers?”
Sterling snickered. “We’re gay men. Of course we love meat lovers. What else is there?”
Connor groaned and took a big bite. “Do you have another appointment this evening?”
“No. Thank goodness. The last couple of days have seen the parents from hell. The kids are often really great, but their parents are enough to make me want to strangle them. Each parent sees their little boy or girl as handsome and perfect, as a parent should. But then they somehow expect me to make little Johnny or Lisa into Zac Efron and Olivia Rodrigo… or whoever the current in-vogue glamorous person is this week. I make their kids look their best, but they want fantasies, and it’s so frustrating, especially for the kids, because they can’t measure up.” Sterling hated those appointments. They weren’t so bad when the kids weren’t there, but when that was going on in front of them, Sterling wanted to smack the parents. “Thankfully the graduation appointments are for next year, so I’m only getting the early birds right now. In the fall, that will start again in earnest. I have some family portraits on my books and a few other things, but I’ll have a slower time for a few months until next year’s seniors start booking appointments in a huge way.” He was relieved for that. “This year it has been busy, busy, and then yesterday it seemed like my schedule completely opened up.”
“That’s good that you’ll have time for the garden club project.”
“It couldn’t come at a better time. I have some weddings that I’m booked to photograph in the next few months, but that isn’t the mainstay of my business. Basically, that sort of thing I leave to people who do that almost exclusively. That’s an art in itself. But I have a few friends of the family who have requested that I photograph their weddings, so I agreed.”
“So no appointments on Saturday?” Connor asked.
“No. This weekend my schedule is empty. I was going to try to get a bunch of things done that I’ve been putting off, and then I thought I would take it easy. We still need to get a few more people to agree to the calendar, and I was going to follow up any more leads we have before putting together a schedule. The thing is, if we’re going to get the most bang out of this project, we should have the pictures taken and the photos laid out and everything off to the printer by the end of next month. That way they can get the calendars done in August and the club can start selling in September and through the end of the year. That will give them enough time to get the most out of it. So I’m hoping to schedule the sessions for the end of June, early July.” The time frame was tight, but it was doable as long as they secured the last people they needed quickly. But Sterling was starting to fear that this project was going to be over fast, and then he figured, given Connor’s fears and Sterling’s luck with guys, that Connor would disappear from his life… and he was going to miss him when he did.